I know this is probably well-covered territory, but I need some support. Sending baby girl to daycare is killing me. And it's only been three days. After my 8 weeks of leave my husband stayed home with the baby for another 4 weeks, so now she is almost 3 months and we started her in daycare this week. I hate it. I cry a little at my desk every day. My husband left work early yesterday to get her because he hates it too. No matter how good the daycare might be they won't love her and take care of her the way we will. They can't possibly give her the attention and time that we would. And she's just so little to be away from mom and dad for 40 hours a week. I came home last night and just bawled. This is so much harder than I thought it would be.
I desperately want to quit and stay home with her. We could find a way to afford it for sure, because my stipend is about as much as daycare costs us. Trouble is I am 6 months away from completing my PhD, that I have worked tirelessly for 5 years to get. My PhD requires about 50 hours a week working in the lab. I feel selfish, like I care more about my education and career than my kid. But I have worked so hard and I am so close.
Anyone else dying a little inside sending their kid to daycare? Does it get any easier? Anyone make a decision to leave work and regret it?
Re: Daycare is killing me
But, What has made it easier for me is that I'm seeing she is very well taken care of there. They tell me all the time how much they love her and she is always happy when I pick her up. Often times they are holding her or chatting with her. The first two weeks they would send me pictures, and will send one if I request it. It's so hard leaving your baby with strangers, so i try to talk to them a little each day so I feel like I know them better and that makes me feel better.
My DD has been in daycare for 3 weeks, and while it is hard, it is so much better for her than when I was trying to work from home and take care of her at the same time. I sometimes wish I could just stay home with her and not worry about work, but we can't afford that right now, and I love my job.
It'll get easier for you, I think. It's better to start daycare now than try and do what we did with my 5 year old and not start daycare until she was 1.5 - 2 years old. That was a disaster. She cried all day, wouldn't nap, and absolutely hated it. We quit that after a few weeks and didn't put her back into daycare/preschool until she was 3. After that, she loved it.
I have not had the crushing guilt and sadness this time and I've been back to work for 5 weeks. I would hate to see you quit your program when you are so close and you have worked so hard! You are doing what's best for your baby and you. You are a good mom no matter what you choose.
He went to public pre-k by 3.9 & he did much better.
try to stick it out if you can if you want to finish school & potentially work. It'll be ok!! Congrats on the Phd!
Pick-up on Friday night actually had me feeling a little better too. When I got there one of the staff, who I think has a little soft spot for baby girl, was on the floor with the baby in her lap and they were playing with another baby. Then she told me about her day and talked to me about maybe bringing bigger bottles for next week. It made me feel good to see this woman interacting with my kid like I would. And giving me the time to really talk to me about my kid. It gets so hectic in there that the first few pick-ups didn't have me feeling great, but hopefully things will just continue to get easier.
I was home for 18 weeks this winter after my 3 year old was diagnosed with cancer. 6 weeks of those were before the baby came and 12 after. Being an engaging stay at home mom was not my strong suit. I truly admire the moms who are on top of it. We had way too much screen time. She was so happy to go back to daycare when I went back to work.