GAH! Never. It was all I could do to keep myself from booking an ultrasound at a boutique place so I could find out an extra week before my anatomy scan last time. I NEEDS to know!
Im torn. H says he needs to know. I was sort of thinking Id like to be surprised, since more than likely I will be having a repeat c-section. I will probably cave though!
Married Nov. 3rd, 2012 DS Born 12/20/13 #2 EDD 11/20/2016
We're planning to find out when the time comes, mostly because I already want to call baby by either the boy name or girl name we've picked out. However, we're going to keep it a secret from everyone else in our lives. Aside from adding to the anticipation, I'm hoping this will prevent a flood of gifts that are either covered in pink and frills or blue and baseballs. I'm don't necessarily object to gendered clothing, but so much of it is just so excessive—really not my style! Plus, we're hoping for a big family, so we hope to be able to reuse lots of clothes and supplies regardless of the sex of this and future babies.
Totally team green here!! We already have two girls and we found out with both of them, but this time I want the surprise! I had to talk my husband into, but he's on board now.
I'm a planner. I have to have all the information about baby that I can get as soon as possible. We also probably won't even seriously discuss names until we reach the point of finding out the sex.
Yep. We were team green with DS and it was great. DH would probably find out if it was up to him, but is ok with not. I'm total Type-A and a planner, but there's honestly nothing to plan. Unless you're going for a totally unisex nursery, etc. there's no real need to know IMO. I love the surprise.
We were team green last time and we are definitely going to be team green again. My parents never found out with me and my 7 siblings and we always loved the surprise! Also, I found it very motivating in the delivery room.
Team Green! I like the idea of a surprise, and I don't really care whether it's a boy or girl as long as it's healthy. Also, like @grannysmith912 I don't want to end up with all pink or all blue presents from people.
Me: 29, DH: 29 Married 9/27/14 TTC #1 since 8/15/15 BFP: 1/2/16, EDD 9/13/16 - MMC 2/10/16 BFP: 3/17, EDD 11/23/16 November 2016 April Siggy Challenge - April Showers
I don't know...I would like a surprise as so much has been planned to get where I am today..and so many people knew about my journey..but other days I'm like, nope I want to know..I love knitting and crocheting, and boys and girls stuff are so damn cute that I want lots to be ready before (s)he is born.. But as long as I am undecided I stay on team green. As I can't go back ones I know.
We are leaning toward team green (despite my mothers wishes). It sort of exciting not to know and have a "it's a boy/girl" moment in the hospital. We will see though. It's hard for me not I know when I see all the cute clothes I want to buy. But I figure ultimately anything specific to boy or girl can be bought to add after the fact. Let's face it, they will be in onesies for the most part!
100% team green. There's no need for us to give people the green light to buy weirdly gendered bullshit for this baby (at least until after it is born, since I know I can't completely avoid it). I also really like the idea of the surprise in the hospital.
I would love to be team green, my only concern is the family. They are definitely the cheesy "pink and blue everything" type. My mom wouldn't know what to do with herself. If I decide to wait, I might just have to buy everything myself to save my son the embarrassment of glitter hearts and foo foo socks.
Me:23 DH:32 Married 5/14/13 TTC #1 since 5/14 TTC #1 w/ treatments since 5/15 BFN 7/15 BFP 8/15-MMC 9/15 BFP 10/15- Diagnosed BO 12/15 BFP 2/16-EDD 11/18/2016
Nope. Last time I said it was because I was a planner, but I think that's just an excuse and this time I'm telling the truth: because I don't want to lolol. HOWEVER, if this lo turns out to be a girl I think next time well be team green. We'll already have one of each and it will make it extra exciting for #3 I think
GAH! Never. It was all I could do to keep myself from booking an ultrasound at a boutique place so I could find out an extra week before my anatomy scan last time. I NEEDS to know!
100% team green. There's no need for us to give people the green light to buy weirdly gendered bullshit for this baby (at least until after it is born, since I know I can't completely avoid it). I also really like the idea of the surprise in the hospital.
This! You put it perfectly
Me: 29, DH: 29 Married 9/27/14 TTC #1 since 8/15/15 BFP: 1/2/16, EDD 9/13/16 - MMC 2/10/16 BFP: 3/17, EDD 11/23/16 November 2016 April Siggy Challenge - April Showers
We were team green for dd and it was a wonderful surprise. I think we'll find out this time around, though. We have SO MUCH girl stuff in our basement (first grandchild on both sides so both grandmothers went nuts for a few years), I'd love to know if it needs to be washed and put away or if I can start to give it away to friends with little girls and/or sell it to clear out the space.
I don't want to find out. I'm super not looking forward to labor, so I think the idea of having to actually get all the hard stuff out of the way first before we find out will be motivating. Even if I'm totally wrong about that, I (selfishly) would prefer to not tell people so that we are more likely to get useful gifts rather than a bunch of over-the-top clothing items.
I don't want to find out. I'm super not looking forward to labor, so I think the idea of having to actually get all the hard stuff out of the way first before we find out will be motivating. Even if I'm totally wrong about that, I (selfishly) would prefer to not tell people so that we are more likely to get useful gifts rather than a bunch of over-the-top clothing items.
Yes. Please buy me diapers and blocks instead of scratchy tutus or creepy sailor costumes.
I have my set, DS and DD. We found out with each. This baby, we are team green. I saved every little sock with each, so we are ready for our surprise in November.
As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure was going to happen - Winnie the Pooh Married 8/22/09 Pregnancy 1- EDD 11/21/10 NMC @ 6 weeks Pregnancy 2 - Rainbow DS born 1/15/11 Pregnancy 3 - EDD 5/2/14 NMC @ 6 weeks 9/4/13 Pregnancy 4 - EDD 6/11/14 BO @ 9 weeks D&C 11/8/13 AF arrived 12/18/13 BENCH IS BURNED 2/2014 TTA until May/June WOW!!! I'm pregnant!!! BFP 6/8/14 Rainbow on the way EDD 2/14/15
If there ever comes a day where we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever - Winnie the Pooh
UO: trying to control the gifts that people give you is not a good reason to be team green. Gifts are...gifts. People are not entitled to buy you diapers instead of tutus. If you don't like the cotton candy colored diaper bag someone gives you, donate it. I don't know- it just rubs me the wrong way when brides or mama's-to-be try to control or complain about the gifts they get.
Back to the question: we are going to find out the sex because 1) we want to know, 2) it will make the pregnancy more tangible/understandable to our two toddlers- "your baby sister is in mama's belly."
DX PCOS Jan 2012 IUI #1 Feb 2012= DS1 born 11/2012 Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle)=DS2 born 9/2014 Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle again)= EDD 11/2016
But... it's still a surprise! It's always a surprise! You just get the surprise way sooner!
I guess I just don't quite get the appeal.
This, for real. I will say, not to scare anyone or whatever but after the 42 hour labor I had I couldn't have cared less if it were a boy or a girl at that moment of discovery, I just wanted it out of me.
Finding out early, I'm chill, relaxed, husband and I can keep that news to ourselves as long as we want without running out to everyone and announcing. I can plan names, nursery stuff, direct possible gifts, etc. I get not wanting to be stuck with intense girl or intense boy things, but that will happen anyway. You're going to get some crazy shit from people. I can't wait to see some of these things from y'all, for real
I'd be down for team green, but my H wants to find out. In fact, he wants to find out ASAP. With the DNA screening blood test. In 3 weeks. I at least want to wait until the 20w scan.
me . late 30's | h . early 40's | < 3 . 2013
*siggy warning*
ttc#1 . jul 2015
mmc . mar 2016
dx PCOS (non-IR) / subclinical hypothyroidism . summer 2016
tx metformin, levothyroxine, LP progesterone, femara + trigger + ti . fall/winter 2016 BFP . jan 2017 DD . oct 2017
ntnp #2 . summer 2018 mmc x2 . sep 2018 & may 2019 RE workup, dx MTHFR mutation, ultimately unexplained . summer 2019 surprise BFP . aug 2019 DS . may 2020
dx Hashimoto's 2023 ttc #3 . feb 2023 mmc . apr 2023 mmc x3 . mar/jul/aug 2024 dx elevated nk cells tx ovasitol, levothyroxine, baby aspirin, LP progesterone, lovenox, prednisone, femara + ti . jan 2025 BFP . mar 2025
TTC since 10.07~Diagnosed with PCOS 08.08~4 rounds of clomid=BFN~Took a break from meds...
Surprise BFP 03.29.09~
Natural m/c 04.06.09~50mg clomid & progesterone 06.09=BFN
Adoption made our wish come true 12.21.11~JEC 11.10.10
I was totally one of those people who said I was a planner and needed to know, so I found out with my first two. Now, it's baby #3 and I realized there isn't much to plan....all the "big" baby stuff we bought gender neutral, so we already have that. We plan on having the baby sleep in our room the first few months, so we don't need to worry about the nursery yet. We already picked out a boy name and a girl name. Plus our last baby made her appearance 4 weeks early, the day before the baby shower...and I had been procrastinating on buying things until after the baby shower so the nursery wasn't done, except for the crib, we had a few newborn outfits, and a car seat which we bought literally a week before she was born. Even with nothing really "ready" it was just fine. So, I figured this time we will wait.
@muybueno eh.. Both of our moms like to buy useless crap that we then have to deal with. (My MIL buys treats for my cats every Christmas even though they don't eat them and I've told her this). If rather just not clog up my one bedroom apartment (I live in a single fam converted to a duplex, will not convert back for another year and a half). My mom recently called to ask if I'll be needing a crib AND a bassinet and I had to remind her of the 1 bedroom situation. Where would we put it all? Plus I want to be able to recycle these things for the next one (which may or may not be the same sex), which will save money and the gd earth.
My point is I want to get maximum use out of every item, whether I use it or give it to a friend. And pink shit annoys me anyway. Maybe I'll just tell people it's a boy if they need an answer. At least the kid will get educational toys.
edit: there's a feminist rant in here somewhere, but I'm too tired to formulate it.
I want it to be a surprise, but H doesn't, and I will probably cave because I'm excited and I think it will help me more with names if I know which gender to focus on (I have several boy names I love, but can't find any I like for girls). I think we might compromise and just keep it a secret between just the two of us and keep everyone else guessing. My main reasoning there is I'd like to have 2 kids, and if we do gender neutral baby supplies/nursery, then we can reuse it all for future baby #2, regardless of gender! That, plus I'm a woman in a male-dominated career, and I've always kind of felt like gender is only what you make it.
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
@muybueno I get where you're coming from, but IMO, there's a difference between complaining that you don't like the gifts you receive and having a preference in what you want. We'd be totally fine if no one bought us a thing for this baby, but if people are going to spend their $$ on us, we would rather have items we actually need than a bunch of "handsome like my daddy" or "future princess" t-shirts. If someone asks what we want, I won't hesitate to state my preference for gender-neutral toys/clothes... But that doesn't mean I'd be ungrateful if someone were to gift a glitter-covered onesie, etc.
It's still not the main reason I want to be team green... It's just a bit of a bonus for us since not knowing would make receiving our preferred items more likely.
@muybueno I get where you're coming from, but IMO, there's a difference between complaining that you don't like the gifts you receive and having a preference in what you want. We'd be totally fine if no one bought us a thing for this baby, but if people are going to spend their $$ on us, we would rather have items we actually need than a bunch of "handsome like my daddy" or "future princess" t-shirts. If someone asks what we want, I won't hesitate to state my preference for gender-neutral toys/clothes... But that doesn't mean I'd be ungrateful if someone were to gift a glitter-covered onesie, etc.
It's still not the main reason I want to be team green... It's just a bit of a bonus for us since not knowing would make receiving our preferred items more likely.
Eh, gift registries are about the only thing I can stomach when it comes to "directing" people to get you the gifts you want. Not telling them the sex because you want to keep it to yourself? Great. Not telling them so that they get you the "right" gifts? Eh.
I get that you're saying it's just a bonus of being team green, but I generally side-eye complaints (or in this case, pre-plaints) about the wrong gifts.
Side note: If Caters stopped making "Handsome Like Daddy" onesies, my donations of baby clothes to charity would be reduced by about 50 percent...
DX PCOS Jan 2012 IUI #1 Feb 2012= DS1 born 11/2012 Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle)=DS2 born 9/2014 Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle again)= EDD 11/2016
@muybueno eh.. Both of our moms like to buy useless crap that we then have to deal with. (My MIL buys treats for my cats every Christmas even though they don't eat them and I've told her this). If rather just not clog up my one bedroom apartment (I live in a single fam converted to a duplex, will not convert back for another year and a half). My mom recently called to ask if I'll be needing a crib AND a bassinet and I had to remind her of the 1 bedroom situation. Where would we put it all? Plus I want to be able to recycle these things for the next one (which may or may not be the same sex), which will save money and the gd earth.
Yep, mine does this too. I take it as she thought of me and went out of her way to go to the store and buy me something (and let's be honest, sometimes she just gives me shit from her house!). I think most people have a person like that in their life.
But I'm not entitled to get what I want every time I have a birthday or a baby. DH and I are solely responsible for buying this baby the things s/he needs in the colors we prefer. Gifts from well-meaning but misguided people get repurposed and the thank you card says "you were so generous to think of us." No one owes us anything more.
DX PCOS Jan 2012 IUI #1 Feb 2012= DS1 born 11/2012 Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle)=DS2 born 9/2014 Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle again)= EDD 11/2016
Way back when I used to think I'd be Team Green then my BFF got KU and was Team Green and the day of her ultrasound she had me go with her and when the tech asked if she wanted to know the sex I almost lost my ish when she said No. Lol it wasn't even my child and in that moment I realized I'd never succeed at being Team Green when I got KU someday lol.
Anyway, needless to say we are finding out as we did with our 1st. No legitimate reason, I just want to know lol. For me the surprise isn't so much the sex of the baby but everything else about the baby. The eyes, the itty bitty nose, the little lips, the tiny hands and feet...that's what I look forward to being surprised with...how will this baby look different or the same as our DD. Will the baby have lots of hair or a little bit of hair? These are the things I daydream about.
Lmao @muybueno those onesies (and all related items) are horrible! I guess I just don't want anyone giving money to companies that want to push gender stereotypes on/sexualize kids. For example, this: this kind of shit is problematic and gross and I'd rather offend someone with that opinion now than have them try to teach this kind of thing to my kid. (I'm on the app so sorry if that's huge)
We actually already know that we're having a boy. I was fully in the surprise camp before we started trying but after we found out we had to do IVF I changed my mind. We did PGD on our embryos, mostly because I wanted to increase the chance of success (I had a really difficult time coming to terms that IVF would be the only way we would be able to conceive). We didn't pick the sex but I couldn't help but find out when the doctor asked us on transfer day if we wanted to know what it was. It made me feel more hopeful and positive about the whole thing and more connected to it. Plus, we have 3 boy embryos and 1 girl and if it hadn't been successful I would've wanted to know what it was anyways.
Re: Team green anyone?
DS Born 12/20/13
#2 EDD 11/20/2016
I'm a planner. I have to have all the information about baby that I can get as soon as possible. We also probably won't even seriously discuss names until we reach the point of finding out the sex.
DD: 8/20/14; DS: 11/13/16; DD: 5/3/19; DD: 8/31/21; Baby #5 (team green) due 3/24/24
Married 9/27/14
TTC #1 since 8/15/15
BFP: 1/2/16, EDD 9/13/16 - MMC 2/10/16
BFP: 3/17, EDD 11/23/16
November 2016 April Siggy Challenge - April Showers
But as long as I am undecided I stay on team green. As I can't go back ones I know.
**********************************************************************************************************************************
We will see though. It's hard for me not I know when I see all the cute clothes I want to buy. But I figure ultimately anything specific to boy or girl can be bought to add after the fact. Let's face it, they will be in onesies for the most part!
Married 5/14/13
TTC #1 since 5/14
TTC #1 w/ treatments since 5/15
BFN 7/15
BFP 8/15-MMC 9/15
BFP 10/15- Diagnosed BO 12/15
BFP 2/16-EDD 11/18/2016
TTC since January 2016
BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
BFP - 6/11/16
I guess I just don't quite get the appeal.
Married 9/27/14
TTC #1 since 8/15/15
BFP: 1/2/16, EDD 9/13/16 - MMC 2/10/16
BFP: 3/17, EDD 11/23/16
November 2016 April Siggy Challenge - April Showers
Me: 26 DH:27
Due: 11/6/2016
As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure was going to happen - Winnie the Pooh
Married 8/22/09
Pregnancy 1- EDD 11/21/10 NMC @ 6 weeks
Pregnancy 2 - Rainbow DS born 1/15/11
Pregnancy 3 - EDD 5/2/14 NMC @ 6 weeks 9/4/13
Pregnancy 4 - EDD 6/11/14 BO @ 9 weeks D&C 11/8/13
AF arrived 12/18/13
BENCH IS BURNED 2/2014
TTA until May/June
WOW!!! I'm pregnant!!! BFP 6/8/14 Rainbow on the way EDD 2/14/15
Winnie the Pooh
Back to the question: we are going to find out the sex because 1) we want to know, 2) it will make the pregnancy more tangible/understandable to our two toddlers- "your baby sister is in mama's belly."
IUI #1 Feb 2012= DS1 born 11/2012
Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle)=DS2 born 9/2014
Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle again)= EDD 11/2016
Finding out early, I'm chill, relaxed, husband and I can keep that news to ourselves as long as we want without running out to everyone and announcing. I can plan names, nursery stuff, direct possible gifts, etc. I get not wanting to be stuck with intense girl or intense boy things, but that will happen anyway. You're going to get some crazy shit from people. I can't wait to see some of these things from y'all, for real
*siggy warning*
mmc . mar 2016
dx PCOS (non-IR) / subclinical hypothyroidism . summer 2016
tx metformin, levothyroxine, LP progesterone, femara + trigger + ti . fall/winter 2016
BFP . jan 2017
DD . oct 2017
ntnp #2 . summer 2018
mmc x2 . sep 2018 & may 2019
RE workup, dx MTHFR mutation, ultimately unexplained . summer 2019
surprise BFP . aug 2019
DS . may 2020
dx Hashimoto's 2023
ttc #3 . feb 2023
mmc . apr 2023
mmc x3 . mar/jul/aug 2024
dx elevated nk cells
tx ovasitol, levothyroxine, baby aspirin, LP progesterone, lovenox, prednisone, femara + ti . jan 2025
BFP . mar 2025
Adoption made our wish come true 12.21.11~JEC 11.10.10
Surprise BFP on 03.26.16! EDD 11.28.16
But totally can see both sides!
edit: there's a feminist rant in here somewhere, but I'm too tired to formulate it.
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
It's still not the main reason I want to be team green... It's just a bit of a bonus for us since not knowing would make receiving our preferred items more likely.
Me: 26 DH:27
Due: 11/6/2016
I get that you're saying it's just a bonus of being team green, but I generally side-eye complaints (or in this case, pre-plaints) about the wrong gifts.
Side note: If Caters stopped making "Handsome Like Daddy" onesies, my donations of baby clothes to charity would be reduced by about 50 percent...
IUI #1 Feb 2012= DS1 born 11/2012
Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle)=DS2 born 9/2014
Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle again)= EDD 11/2016
But I'm not entitled to get what I want every time I have a birthday or a baby. DH and I are solely responsible for buying this baby the things s/he needs in the colors we prefer. Gifts from well-meaning but misguided people get repurposed and the thank you card says "you were so generous to think of us." No one owes us anything more.
IUI #1 Feb 2012= DS1 born 11/2012
Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle)=DS2 born 9/2014
Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle again)= EDD 11/2016
Anyway, needless to say we are finding out as we did with our 1st. No legitimate reason, I just want to know lol.
For me the surprise isn't so much the sex of the baby but everything else about the baby. The eyes, the itty bitty nose, the little lips, the tiny hands and feet...that's what I look forward to being surprised with...how will this baby look different or the same as our DD. Will the baby have lots of hair or a little bit of hair? These are the things I daydream about.
(I'm on the app so sorry if that's huge)