TTCAL Check-In Week of 3/28

mylittleversailles · March 2016

1. Introduce yourself (if you're new)

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.)

3. Rants/raves:

4. GTKY: What was the best concert you've ever seen?

AL_TwinCities · March 2016

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.)
Cycle 2 trying after second loss. Month 22 total TTC. Currently in the TWW.

3. Rants/raves: DH and I went to my cousin's house this weekend and tried out their new sauna - so nice and relaxing! And DH got frisky so we improved our timing

Rant: FF gave me CHs for CD13, but I think CD14 is more likely. Anyone care to chart stalk? https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/5a4b46

4. GTKY: What was the best concert you've ever seen?
The Flaming Lips! So wonderfully fun.

mylittleversailles · March 2016

@AL_TwinCities Ahhh!! Of course, what a perfect first answer. That's supposed to be just the MOST fun live show. They played Toronto for free this summer, but something came up and we just couldn't make it.

TWW, 9 DPO. Feeling relatively calm. Very crampy but this is my first TWW after loss, so I don't know what's what and I'm liking it that way.

No rants, just v v tired after a weekend away.

Had a very nice, busy weekend in Montreal. Flights were easy and I didn't panic. Stayed at a friend's cute house and looked after their cats, as they went to her father's cabane à sucre (maple syrup house??) for Easter. We saw everyone we wanted to see and ate everything we wanted to eat. It felt good; like I was finally breaking up with this city that treated me like dirt but I still loved. I'm feeling lighter (except for allll the food I ate) and ready to really, fully embrace Toronto. We're not going back to visit for a long, long time.

I don't even know the answer to my own damn question - umm, I saw Wolf Parade in 2008 and they were excellent, but I feel like I'm only recalling that with such ease because they just reunited and we're going in May.

Oh, of course, I know. *mention of death tw*

We saw Sufjan Stevens on his current tour for Carrie and Lowell, which is about reeling from the death of his estranged, drug addicted mother. His art means more than I can explain here to me; we're using his name as a middle name should we ever be lucky enough to have a son. The album is stripped down and acoustic, but the tour is rich with a full band and a heavy electronic slant. He tries to simulate her death and hopefully, possibly her accession to heaven to contrast his downward spiral into depression and a sort of personal hell with the most intense lights and sounds that keep building when you thought there was nothing left to add - I thought I was dying myself it's such an immersive experience. All the while, childhood films of his play in the background. Anyway, yeah, I can't ever explain it properly, but that was it.

AL_TwinCities · March 2016

@reneeannemm that Sufjan show sounds amazingly powerful. I love him.

MooFish2364 · March 2016

2. Ovulating today I think. Hopefully DH and I can get some BD'ing done tonight! It's my first cycle post loss so I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for a future BFN. It took us 6 months to get KU the first time so it might take a while this time.

3. No real rants or raves. Just trying to stay awake this morning. Super tired and didn't sleep well last night. Oh...one rave...we might be putting an offer on our first home tonight. Excited but scared!

4. I went to a show with Muse, The Cold War Kids, and Social Distortion. It was awesome!

Spartanrd4 · March 2016

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.) Benched- waiting for first AF. Temps are low, now in the pre-O range like usual...waiting to see if I ovulate this cycle even though we are not TTC.

3. Rants/raves: I think I am finally done spotting! Going to take a HPT this week to see if HCG is totally out of my system. Just looking forward to the physical part of MC being over and moving on.

4. GTKY: What was the best concert you've ever seen? I am the biggest Dave Matthews Band fan ever. I have seen him 5 times and I will be seeing him for the 6th time this summer which will be his 25th anniversary tour. He isn't touring next year and I didn't see him last year so I had to see him. Kinda bummed because this was supposed to be my baby's "first concert" (I was going to be 29 weeks then) but that is life right? Doesn't always go according to plan unfortunately.

catiecatp · March 2016

1. I've realized that with several new people on the board it may be helpful to re-introduce myself - DH and I conceived after 2 cycles in Nov 2015 which was amazing because I'd been on BC for well over a decade. I miscarried Christmas eve, with the worst of it on the 27th. We started TTC in January and are in cycle #4 post MC.

2. status - CD9 - and AF was a b!tch this month - lots of spotting on either end and 5 days of flow (but with a day of just spotting in the middle because she wanted to mess with me. Also lots of cramping - which might actually be a good sign because it might be my actual normal state of affairs, my sister gets horrible cramps and I used to have to come home from school as a teenager because mine were so bad.

3. rant/rave - I'm so tired I don't know where to start.

4. best shows - Bryan Adams, hands down - all 3 times we've gone. Each show has been unique and we'll go again in a heartbeat. Also, Trans Siberian Orchestra was great, but so loud. If we go again I'm bringing ear plugs because that may improve the sound experience for me.

mylittleversailles · March 2016

@catiecatp Always wear earplugs! The sound technicians use them and they are the ones who fine tune the sound, so you will always get better acoustics using them than not! DH is a major audiophile, so sound is something he loves to talk about.

catiecatp · March 2016

@AL_TwinCities - looking at your other charts it looks like you normally see a big shift, though you've had a chart or two in the past with a smaller shift. It is a bit of a toss up for CD13 or CD14 this month - it may depend on why your circles are open rather than filled (mine seem to be mainly open because I temp at different times of day based on when I wake up). Regardless your timing looks good

AL_TwinCities · March 2016

Thanks for the CS @catiecatp! My circles are mostly open because I stopped caring as much about the time I temp, so I temp when I wake up, which might be 4am one day and 6:30 another day. I still see a shift, so I'm not as concerned about consistent timing.

Spartanrd4 · March 2016

@catiecatp we just saw TSO last December for the first time, it was a great show! I can see what you are talking about it being loud and the lights too...all the pyrotechnics, it can be stimulation overload but still awesome!

roper2617 · March 2016

2. WTO currently CD5, so still a while away. (Hello wine time!)

3. Yesterday my MIL had an Easter egg hunt for DH and I. It was so much fun. DH was feeling under the weather and definitely not on his A game so I found the most chocolates! This is especially exciting because it's DHs childhood home so he knows all the hiding spots. Oh and we are 25 and (almost) 28 years old lol.
Yesterday I had my grandparents and my brother and his gf over for dinner. Surprisingly, it was my first time cooking a ham and I nailed it. It's really surprising that I've never cooked a ham because I really enjoy cooking. All in all, has been a good weekend. Today is a stat holiday for my agency so this week is a short week again. (Another win!)

4. It's a tie for best concert. I saw Journey and Steve Miller Band play a few years ago at the Molson Amphitheater in Toronto, definitely a great concert! I saw KISS play as well in Winnipeg and they put on a crazy show! Very visually impressive.

Edited because I forgot some words

fivetimesnoluck · March 2016

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): Waiting for AF (currently CD 27). We may be getting the green light to TTC again and will know in less than two weeks. I am terrified and excited at the same time.

3. Rants/raves: Yesterday was difficult. I am sure my own hormones and anxiety contributed to this, but my mom was a little unpleasant while we were down for lunch yesterday and then I stayed in a funk for the whole rest of the day. I even took some of it out on my husband and I am not sure why. I am still in that funk this morning, unfortunately. Meh.

4. GTKY: What was the best concert you've ever seen? This is a hard one. I have seen some really great shows. Mumford & Sons at the Fox Theater in Atlanta, Wilco at a small, historic theater where I live now, and my first real concert experience will always stick out in my head: Lollapalooza in 1992 (Pearl Jam, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Soundgarden headlined). Side note: I will be going to see Pearl Jam again on April 16 for the first time since 1992.

@AL_TwinCities I have always wanted to see The Flaming Lips, know I'd love it!
@reneeannemm That Sufjan show sound like a moving experience to say the least! Wow.

roper2617 · March 2016

@AL_TwinCities FX for you. I'm glad you got to relax in the sauna and also had some awesome timing, double win.

@reneeannemm FX for you too! Im so glad to hear that your trip went well.

@MooFish2364 I've noticed for me that POAS and getting that very clear BFN is so much harder to handle than getting AF. I've sworn off early testing (only recently) because my negative self talk rages with BFNs. I hope that you and DH are able to get some great timing in! Also yay for first home offer! It's so exciting and very terrifying all at once! If you do put an offer in I hope the sellers accept!

@Spartanrd4 yay for no more spotting!! Hope the remainder of your benched time doesn't feel like an eternity for you. I find the supposed-to-be's really hard to handle, I hope that the concert still goes well for you this summer.

@catiecatp urg! I had a cycle similar I think maybe in Feb, it's so frustrating! I'm glad there's a silver lining to the cramping for you though.

roper2617 · March 2016

@fivetimesnoluck I'm sorry that your mom was not pleasant. I hope you're able to find something to help get out of that funk and take back the power to be happy.

BornReady · March 2016

1. Hi everyone! I'm not new either, but thought I'd do a recap. I have a DS who took over a year to conceive and had a loss in November 2015 @ 9 weeks (baby measuring a little over 6). Trying since with no luck, total 1 year trying including loss to date.

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.) Currently WTO. I had my first visit with the RE on Friday which luckily was CD2. I started testing immediately, as in they sent me for blood work and would have done an ultrasound if the power hadn't gone out. I had my ultrasound counting follicles this morning and have an HSG at 11...eek! I'm terrified after spending the night reading about them online. We shall see. Kind of crazy how fast things move, but I'm excited to maybe get some answers and develop a plan.

3. Rants/raves: Not much. I was surprisingly OK with the BFN last cycle. I still have my moments, but I'm trying to be more at peace with everything.

4. GTKY: What was the best concert you've ever seen?
Great question! I saw Ben Harper on a pig farm once with like 100 other people in the rain. It was one of the best days ever. Another great one was Bela Fleck, who soothes my soul. I listen to his song "Big Country" to calm myself, I actually wanted to walk down the aisle to it at my wedding.

BornReady · March 2016

@AL_TwinCities I tend to agree with FF just based on your OPKs and chart, but you are the person who knows your body. Looks like you had great coverage regardless, good luck!

SnobunnieMel · March 2016

*******TW other persons BFP*******

2. WTO. Currently CD27 counting my d&c as day 1. My chart looks like a drunken toddler coloring. My HPT is finally down to a faint squinted so hoping my ovaries get moving along in the next week or so.

3. Rant: people are assholes. After my meltdown last week about a fellow PA who is recently pregnant and talking about it at work with everyone going on and on about how excited they are, I tried to be nice two days later and bring her some unopened boxes of preggo pop drops. She decided I was the appropriate person to mention she had some cramps the night before and mention she was nervous because "the stats are really high. It's almost like 1 in 4." I had to just stare at her and say " I know." She knows the situation. She is also the person who just got married in December, started trying right away and hasn't taken a prenatal once yet, still drinks rock stars and wasn't aware she should avoid certain foods. Sorry. Huge rant. But she needs to be more sensitive about what the hell she says directly to my face.

3. My brothers and I all went to lollapalooza in 2013 to celebrate my brother graduating law school. It was the best concert I've been to since we got Eric Church front row, the killers, Mumford & sons, and muse all within 48 hours.

cjs260 · March 2016

1. Not new, but since I've been MIA for forever.... MMC in November 2015, trying since, with no luck. Cycles are finally starting to look "normal" (read acceptable) now.

2. CD28/ 11DPO, temp drop this morning and a little spotting, so impending CD1. I'm surprisingly okay with this turn of events - I'm really more concerned about my cycles being correct at this point.

3. I'm almost finished with the grant proposal that has completely overtaken my life! I'll turn it in on Friday, and DH and I will celebrate like there is nooooo tomorrow!

4. The best show I've ever been to, was either Punch Brothers in Telluride on the day that DH and I were married (we joke that they played our "reception") or The Milk Carton Kids with Sarah Jarosz.

@AL_TwinCities What a fun time! And cheers for good timing!

@reneeannemm That sounds like an amazing experience.

@moofish2364 A new house is so, so exciting! Good luck!

@spartanrd4 I know how exciting it can be to finally start getting back to normal. FX for the end of spotting for you!

@catiecatp I've always wanted to see TSO. Next time they come to town I might just have to get a ticket!

@roper2617 What a great time it sounds like! And yay for chocolate!

@fivetimesnoluck Ugh, I'm sorry for the difficulties. Hormones and anxiety definitely do not help.

@bornready I LOVE Bela Fleck. He and Abigail Washburn were both at the Telluride Bluegrass Festival last year. DH and I "planned eloped", got married at a lake about an hour away from the festival, and enjoyed 4 days of AMAZING music! Also, DH goes to these "old time" music festivals where everyone brings their instruments and it's just a weekend long jam session. He will tell anyone who will listen that he got to jam with Bela Fleck once, haha.

AshleySparkle720 · March 2016

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.)
TWW 10Dpo at doctor for Quant level blood work today

3. Rants/raves: I'm excited to have the blood test done so I have a real answer and don't have to constantly poas

dpjennifer · March 2016

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): WTO CD 17. Looks like O may come earlier again this month. (was falling day 23/24, and last month was CD 16!). But OPK gave me the first positive this morning, so guess it's BD time.

3. Rants/raves:
Rant: Yesterday was not as rough as I thought it would be in seeing everyone's pictures and the like. However, if my mother tells me one more time that I just need to "relax and let it happen" I will probably lose it on her.
Rave: My sprouts are starting to germinate like crazy and I am super excited about it. Also, I ordered my chickens over the weekend and am SUPER excited about having baby chicks next month!!!!

4. GTKY: What was the best concert you've ever seen? So, this isn't really a 'concert' in the traditional sense since it was a symphonic concert... but a few years ago I got to see John Williams conducting the music of John Williams and despite the man being in his 80s I am absolutely in love with him. He was a great conductor, funny, and makes the most amazing music. He is unbelievably talented (in case you don't know, he's the one who wrote the music to Star Wars, Jurassic Park, Jaws, Harry Potter, etc.).

@catiecatp sorry AF was so awful for you this cycle, it sucks when that happens!

@roper2617 YAY for finding all the chocolates (or at least most of the chocolate compared to your DH!)

@fivetimesnoluck Sorry yesterday was so rough for you. Hopefully today is much better!

@SnobunnieMel Sorry about your coworker. What a totally sucky situation. It seems like unless someone has been through a MC they just have no idea how much it hurts and can say the most hateful things without even thinking.

MWoodside · March 2016

**TW- children mentioned**

1. Introduce yourself (if you're new): I'm newish so I will recap. Mama to 2 girls ages 5.5 & 2.5. I had a 14 wk loss between them in 2012 and then a 9 wk loss in July 2015. I have PCOS and hypothyroidism as complicating factors, and we struggled with IF for 2+ years before having children. We began TTC again in January after taking the rest of 2015 off post-loss.

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): in TWW, 5DPO. Our timing could have been better this cycle though so I don't have my hopes up at all.

3. Rants/raves: Rant- I'm just over working extra on the weekends so much, but I can't turn down the extra funds right now.

4. GTKY: What was the best concert you've ever seen? This is super hard for me to answer. Seeing live music is our main squeeze, our hobby together and makes up the majority of our date nights. If I had to choose, I can narrow it down to 2. 1. Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals at the Fillmore in downtown Detroit in (I think?) 2008. They played the album in full, in order. It was a mind-boggling show. I kept looking at DH every one in a while with a "is this really happening?" look. SO amazing. I felt like I was in an alternate universe that night. 2. We went to San Francisco in 2009 to see Citizen Cope shows on back-to-back nights at the Fillmore there. We love him and both shows were so awesome. Also, Alice Smith (his SO and opening act) came onstage and they performed 107 degrees together. That song would be in my top 3 songs I've seen performed live for sure.

Very fun GTKY question

mtvkv5 · March 2016

1. Introduce yourself (if you're new) - Had my first MC on Saturday at 4w5d. It was my first pregnancy and we were TTC for 3 months, but I had been aching for a baby for over a year waiting for DH to be ready. I only knew I was pregnant for 8 days, but it is amazing how attached you become in that short time when it is something you have wanted for so long.

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.) - Benched until my first AF, possibly longer.

3. Rants/raves: Devastated today and keep having moments of tears. Started temping again this morning. Just trying to hang in there until tomorrow when I see my therapist.

4. GTKY: What was the best concert you've ever seen? Tough one! The first Maroon 5 concert I saw was great! Second time not so great. I also have very fond memories of three *NSYNC concerts in middle/HS school, back then it was the greatest experience ever!

cjs260 · March 2016

@mtvkv5 I am so sorry for your loss.

cooaladoll · March 2016

@AL_TwinCities I've always wanted to see Flaming Lips! So jealous!

@reneeannemm this check-in is dear to my heart and it's interestingly coincidental that you should be the one to start it. My dear friend that recently passed was my concert pal. Since I found out about both losses as book ends of February, my overly protective but nieve brain said "February was my sad month, now let's start anew and happy for March". Instead March has been a long slow series of flashbacks of my life with him, and these concerts play a ginormous part in it. Just another strange note on that, his birthday is coming up this week. He wasn't much of a cake person so I can't do like you did; instead I'm going to have a drink and possibly reminisce with a couple friends on that day, but I just was feeling a little close to you with the similarities and timings in our separate losses. I'm so sorry too because I speculate they were both due to similarly tragic causes. I think I had been pretty clammed up the last couple weeks reply-wise but Thank you for all the support! On another more positive note, I'm so glad your trip to Montreal was as full, heart warming and cathartic as it was. Doubly glad it means that you can feel more like Toronto is truly home, and I hope in your home the seedlings have recovered from their last setbacks! I've always thought Sufjan is as beautiful sounding a name as his music is melodic and soothing. That immersion experience you describe is exactly why I became such a concert addict. Always (was) looking for that next best fix of total artistic emotional immersion and the sensations that that can send all throughout your mind and body. It can truly be transcendent sometimes. (One of my favorites of that experience was seeing Explosions in the Sky in a small venue. Every cord absolutely strung and sung throughout my entire body. I love them live... on the grass looking up at the sky at Lollapalooza 08 was almost as good.)

@MooFish2364 good luck with the house offer and FX for O day BDing (but good attitude to have just in case).

@Spartanrd4 hope everything starts going back to normal for you soon. I'll be seeing Dave Matthews for the first time this summer myself. I hope you will be able to enjoy it despite the reminder of loss.

@catiecatp I'm sorry you had such a rough AF. I was sorely surprised when I came off BC for over a decade how many AF symptoms being medicated had been preventing. Sadly had to learn all anew about vicious cramps and some serious back aches in my case.

@roper2617 that sounds like such a fun holiday weekend, especially the egg hunt! And bonus for that extra short work week!

@fivetimesnoluck I'm sorry your MIL got you down. Hope your mood starts to pick back up before long. Funny, I'm pretty sure Wilco is the band I was watching right before EITS at Lolla 08, and the reason I was still sitting in the grass when they came on. I didn't know their music before then so thank you Wilco to have brought me to that stage, at that time, on that day, lol. Mumford & Sons are definitely on my need to see list.

@BornReady how weird, and annoying, that the power went out before you could get your US that day. But so glad you're on the way to getting some answers and a plan for moving forward. That Ben Harper show sounds amazing!

@SnobunnieMel I'm so sorry about your thick brained co-worker. Though of course none of us ever wish the ills we are going through on anyone else, even those who seem so die hard to became a member of our club, you can sure wish that the stupid weren't so damn easy to knock up. (I do!) Always seeing examples of that movie Idiocracy in my daily life.

@cjs260 Yay for a return to normal cycles!

@AshleySparkle720 FX for you!

@dpjennifer squeee! sprouts and chickees, exciting! I think that totally counts as a concert and an awesome one at that!

@MWoodside those both sound like absolutely fantastic nights!

2. Status: TWW, 11 DPO. We had great timing this cycle, and yet I'm feeling almost no symptoms (and the like two I am sort of feeling I'm pretty sure are hypochondriacal) so I'm trying to wait for AF. I think it helps I have only one HPT in the house so I don't want to waste it. If she doesn't come by Wednesday, on time, I'll give in.

3. Rants/Raves: Lmao! I think this is my very first check-in with no rants! Rave: the holiday dinner went well and though I was dreading questions, none came. Plus to cover our bases on DF mother's family side, he planted the seed of our loss with only one cousin, but we know it will be shared on that side of the family now without us actually having to do the face to faces.

4. GTKY: This one is hard for me because there are so so many I've loved. Here's my three-way tie:

All Tomorrow's Parties put on a small festival at a retreat in upstate NY near me. My concert pal and I got to see so many of our faves that day but both of us had a life long love for Sonic Youth and Kim Gordon. We got to watch front and center pushed right up against stage, and then got to meet Kim after the show and he got a pic with her. I've been to three festivals but this one was hands down the best because it was a hotel/retreat grounds and besides the amazing music, both artists and concert goers got to intermingle somewhat regularly in passing because everyone had to use common area.

I live about half an hour from Woodstock, NY where Richie Havens lived. Definitely one of my all time fave shows was a night I actually caught him by accident playing in a small Motel Bar in the town I actually live in now. Maybe thirty people tops were there. Beautiful acoustic show and just so amazing to see that legend so up close and personal.

Gogol Bordello with my concert pal the day before NYE at Hammerstein Ballroom (2011 maybe?). Their music is loosely described as Gypsy punk and they put on one of the most high energy shows I've ever been to. I had been to that venue many times before but never felt the room shake and bounce beneath our feet as it did that night from the jumping dancing concert goers. Apparently HB always throws this huge NYE party and my friend and I snuck under their ropes to get into, play with, and take pictures in, the room where they were storing the balloons for the party. Wall to wall, floor to ceiling, overstuffed with balloons! I'm still mad he lost the pictures of that night!

cooaladoll · March 2016

@mtvkv5 I'm sorry for your loss. Let the tears flow when you can. Hang in there, and welcome to the board.

shae86 · March 2016

@fivetimesnoluck Pearl Jam is incredible live! I've seen them 3 times because DH is a diehard fan. And their fans are the absolute best.

@bornready @MWoodside I have so much love for Ben Harper. Saw him perform once, and sat next to him and Laura Dern at a concert another time. He's so talented and kind.

Status: Benched. I think. I miscarried 4+ weeks ago. Still waiting for AF. I'm not temping, so I have no idea when or if I've ovulated.

I wanted to wait a few cycles to try again. But yesterday there was a lapse in communication between me and DH, and let's just say there's now a slight chance something could happen. (He thought it was impossible to conceive before I've gotten my period. *facepalm*)

I need AF to get here ASAP so I don't drive myself crazy wondering if we conceived. I got a negative FRER test today, so I know the HCG is out of my system. This is going to sound terrible, but I was already planning to avoid TTC this month. My sister's birthday is 12/20, brother's birthday is 12/22, and mom's birthday is 12/29. It's a nightmare with the holidays, and I've always sworn I would never have a baby during that time. So, yeah...

Rant/Rave: I didn't get the job I interviewed for several weeks ago. It's a bit of a bummer because it was a great position with a great company, and it's always a knock to my ego to know that another candidate was "better" than me. But it also provided so much relief. Now I don't need to wait several months before trying again. I already work full-time from home and have great health insurance. My job now is much more baby-friendly. I feel like perhaps things happened the way they were supposed to.

GTKY: Good question, @reneeannemm! I've loved reading everyone's responses.

My favorite show to-date has been the Foo Fighters last year at the LA Forum. Holy sh*t. They were out of this world incredible. Dave Grohl is a god.

I'm seeing the Lumineers in a couple of weeks in Paris, and I think that will be a really special show. Saw them at the Greek a couple of years back, and they were awesome. Also have tickets to the Flight of the Concords and the Dixie Chicks this year. So looking forward to all of it!

brooklyngirl18 · March 2016

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.)- benched, waiting for my beta to drop to 0 and my first period. longest 5 weeks and counting ever.

3. Rants/raves: my rant is that im so over everything these days, work, family, friends, i just feel so blah. i also hate that we don't have a game plan for ttc yet and we are just waiting and waiting. i think i'll feel much better mentally once we have a plan.

4. GTKY: What was the best concert you've ever seen? what a great and tough question! i've seen pink several times and she is an amazing performer and singer. i most recently saw Billy Joel at madison square garden and loved every second.

mandi135 · March 2016

2. Status: benched until my hcg levels are down. I have my next blood test on Wednesday, so fingers crossed! As soon as that number is where the doctor wants it I am ready!

*TW/TMI - m/c details-ish mentioned*
3. Rants/Raves: I have no idea what my body is doing! Yesterday I had some bleeding like the first day of a period, complete with cramps, a headache, and a breakout on my chin. Then today, nothing. I think it might have been some of the lingering tissue but have no idea. I just want to know what my body is doing again so I can prepare properly.

4. GTKY: A lot of it is sentimental, but the best was Sugar Ray. It was my first concert I went to without my parents and I went with a friend who has since passed, so I think in my head it is this amazing moment in time, even if the music is a bit...dated. Simple Plan opened for them, and my little teenage emo heart just exploded at the amazingness of that concert.

I loved reading about everyone's favorite concerts - such a great question! (sorry I don't have time to respond to everyone, I'm just sneaking a moment at work)

silentP · March 2016

Doh. I always jump in here too late. I wish I was as good as some of you in responding to everyone! I am enjoying the music responses!

2. TWW - 3DPO. I don't feel good about my chances at all. My dad was staying with us all week. Groan. And I also just didn't feel like forcing it, so we will see. The last time I got pregnant I didn't think there was a chance either!

3. Mostly just rants. Been very moody lately and also just feeling stalled right now in life. I feel stupid for putting so many things on hold because of the possibility of a baby and now I don't need know what to do next.

4. Ahh best question. I honestly couldn't pick just one. I have been going to shows since a young gal and I love music. But Beck was super awesome a couple summers ago and finally getting to see him after being a fan for basically 15+ years was great!

chloe97 · March 2016

1.) Hi guys it's Chloe. I was an active member of this group until 3 weeks ago. Sadly I miscarried again and so I'm back.
2.) Benched waiting to miscarry. The doctor has me coming in for yet another u/s tomorrow before he will give me the cytotec. In the meantime I'm doing acupuncture and herbs to try to get things started.
3. Rants/Raves Ummm I'm miscarrying again. So there's that. Actually, I'm going to go with the pregnancy hormones leaving my system and making me a total bitch. It's taking everything in me to not yell at my H to get off the couch and go work. Even though I know he's grieving as much as me right now.
4.) GTKY TBH I'm checking in here today just for this GTKY. Thinking about all the kickass concerts I've been to the last 18 years of my life is giving me something to actually smile about today, so thank you!!

My absolute favorite was Foo Fighters at Lollapalooza in 2011. It poured for most of the show and they ended with Everlong - my favorite song of all time. I burst into tears and bawled my eyes out for the entire song. It was such an emotional experience for me. H and I are seeing Pearl Jam at Wrigley Field on out anniversary this year. We are looking forward to that.

@shae86 I'm also going to Dixie Chicks this year. They are my favorite band of all time and their last CD is the one I listen to over and over again when I'm sad about how difficult this trying to have a baby thing is.

@fivetimesnoluck I can't believe you were at one of the original Lollapaloozas! That must have been so amazing as a teenager.

@spartanrd I cannot believe that this is Dave Matthews 25th anniversary! That makes me feel old. Though I guess I didn't get into them until the late 90s. I've been to like 5 or 6 of their shows also, but none lately. It got to the point where I felt like the oldest person there, so I stopped going about 10 years ago. Maybe the crowd has aged a bit.

@brooklygirl18 H and I are going to Billy Joel at Wrigley this year. He's coming here basically yearly. It's great!

BornReady · March 2016

@chloe97 I am incredibly jealous of your Pearl Jam show coming up. I love the song "Just Breath" I just went back and listened to it when I saw your post, makes me happy and sad all at once. Sorry again to see you here... I hope the acupuncture and herbs get things moving along for you soon.

fivetimesnoluck · March 2016

@MooFish2364 good luck on O day and with the house! Big day! Keep us posted.
@Spartanrd4 DMB was a huge part of my life. Saw him over 10 times when I was younger and am also going to see him this summer since they'll be taking time off.
@catiecatp I would love to see Bryan Adams, I only started listening to him in the past year or two.
@roper2617 that Easter egg hunt sounds amazing!! I love playing/recreating big kid versions of childhood games and activities.
@BornReady Love Ben Harper! How cool to see him in such a unique setting! A pig farm?!
And @SnobunnieMel that girl is extra special. Ugh. So dense.
@cjs260 I've never been to Telluride, but know that festival is supposed to be amazing! How cool that you can claim Punch Bros as your "wedding band!"
@ashleysparkle720 fingers crossed! Keep us posted!
@dpjennifer It sounds like Spring is really springing at your house! So cool that you got to see Williams conducting his own productions! And, I feel ya on the Mom thing.
@MWoodside I'm going to have to look up that 107 degrees song, have never heard that one. Was a casual CItizen Cope fan but haven't kept up with him in some time.
@mtvkv5 I'm sorry for your loss. You're not alone. It is wild how much love can grow in a short period of time. Take care of yourself. We are here for you.
@cooaladoll fingers crossed for a speedy couple of days and a BFP!
@shae86 that's awesome! I'd also love to see Foo Fighters. Dave Grohl is so many wonderful things.

Fingers crossed you get some answers soon, and if it's a BFN you want this time, then that's what I'll hope for!
@brooklyngirl18 I envy you seeing Billy Joel at MSG. I bet that was amazing. Hoping you get that below 5 Hcg soon! I also hear ya on being over it.... I'm right there too today.
@mandi135 hoping your test next Wednesday produces the numbers you want! That wait can take so long, especially when you're ready to go ahead...!
@silentP I saw Beck once in 1996, was a lot of fun but part of a larger festival, so not a long enough set. I bet seeing him alone is awesome!

As an update, AF said hello this afternoon, so CD 1 it is. Stayed in a crap mood throughout the day. Came home and have just been resting. And then DH brought me flowers because he's amazing even though I'm the one who's been kinda a jerk. At least I have him in all this mess....

CoonMom · March 2016

@chloe97I'm so sorry you are back here. *HUGS*

Sorry I've been MIA. Partly because I've been busy with work/basement remodeling; partly because I needed a break. I've been lurking and wishing you all the best, just have been posting.

1. Introduce yourself (if you're new) Not new but I'll recap: Starting TTC Jan 2015; BFP Nov 2015, miscarriage 12/16ish (6 weeks)

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.) WTO CD 14

*Questions*
1) When you count your cycles after a loss does the cycle you miscarry count as cycle one or does that cycle not count? I miscarried in Dec. I've been saying I'm on cycle 4 after a loss; is it really 5?

2) No one may have the answer but I'll ask anyway. Does anyone know when doctors will test for infertility after a loss? I was so close to getting started with testing before my loss. I'm wondering if I have to wait a year or if it's common to get in sooner. I talked to the receptionist at my doctors a while ago and she said typically 6 months. I told her I had endo removed (accidently discovered while removing my gallbladder) in Oct and her answer changed to 3 months. (I had an appt with GYN after the surgery and she wasn't concerned at all), I plan to call and talk to the nurse/doctor but wanted to hear your experiences.

3. Rants/raves: Rant: DH had a cold early last week; I caught it Thursday. I didn't sleep well at all Saturday; my temp skyrocketed. I took Nyquil last night and woke up with a "Nyquil hangover" It was awful. (Temp plummeted) I typically ovulate CD 13-15 but have had nothing but negative OPKs. We'll see what my temp does. *Possible TMI* I rarely notice CM but noticed my panties were wet today; couldn't interrupt but there was some there.

2nd Rant: I gave up facebook for lent. I got back on and stalked KU friends walls to see there announcments. Two of them weren't there (both over twenty weeks). I woke up this morning and got on. I didn't go to their pages but on my newsfeed there the annoucments were. I was expecting/ready to see them yesterday; today I wasn't. It was hard to see.

Rave (sort of): I texted a former coworker friend to wish her a happy Easter and a belated birthday wish for her son. She asked how I was doing. Instead of the typical "I'm good" I was honest and told her I haven't been well and I had a miscarriage in Dec. She was really supportive.

4. GTKY: What was the best concert you've ever seen? Matthew West

shae86 · March 2016

@chloe97 I'm so very sorry that you're back here

. Hugs and good thoughts are coming your way. And YES on everything you said about the Dixie Chicks. Taking the Long Way is one of my favorite albums of all time, and it often brings me to tears. The song So Hard now has more meaning than ever.

@fivetimesnoluck thank you! And hopefully AF isn't too bad for you. I've heard the first one can be worse than usual. Hurray for getting back on track though!

BornReady · March 2016

@dogmomwantinghuman Regarding your infertility testing, I think it probably depends on a few factors including your insurance situation. I am at just about a year trying at this point and had a loss in November. My OBGYN told me I had to wait until November 2016 to go ahead with testing, and said that the clock starts over with the miscarriage. That seemed unacceptable to me, considering we never saw a strong heartbeat and I am not getting any younger. I had a phone consultation with a RE clinic who said I was "definitely" eligible to come in even with the loss. That said I have an insurance policy that covers infertility 100% after a small deductible and I do not need referrals to see specialists. The way I see it is it's a business, they will take your "business" if they can find a way to do so. Maybe call some clinics and see what their guidelines are on miscarriages and the "year of trying clock". At my phone consultation I informed them of when my loss was, that we had not heard a heartbeat, and the length of time it took be to achieve a pregnancy at all.

chloe97 · March 2016

@dogmomwantinghuman The answer to your question depends. Are you looking to have your insurance cover the testing? Do you live in a city with a lot of REs? Are you over 35?

I live in Chicago- there are a ton of REs here and my Dr was willing to refer me 2 months after my loss because of my age (36) even though we conceived our first try (and then our 3rd try). The RE was ready to work with me despite the fact that I have no other diagnoses. However, I'm not sure my insurance would have covered it because I would not have a diagnosis of IF. Now that I have an RPL diagnosis, I won't have a problem getting insurance coverage. My RE is a new practice in a large metro area with a lot of competition, so they are hard up for patients. This gets me a lot of access, which is nice!

Honestly, I would just ask and keep asking for an RE referral or the testing you want. Have they done another HSG since your loss to see if there is more endo? Based on what you're describing, it seems like you should be getting the testing sooner than later. But maybe the receptionist is saying 3 months because that is when your insurance covers it? Don't be afraid to ask a lot of questions to find out the answe.

Also, I always skipped my cycle that I was benched and only counted the ones in which we were actively trying. Hope this helps!

DinosaurJumper · March 2016

reneeannemm said:
We saw Sufjan Stevens on his current tour for Carrie and Lowell, which is about reeling from the death of his estranged, drug addicted mother. His art means more than I can explain here to me; we're using his name as a middle name should we ever be lucky enough to have a son. The album is stripped down and acoustic, but the tour is rich with a full band and a heavy electronic slant. He tries to simulate her death and hopefully, possibly her accession to heaven to contrast his downward spiral into depression and a sort of personal hell with the most intense lights and sounds that keep building when you thought there was nothing left to add - I thought I was dying myself it's such an immersive experience. All the while, childhood films of his play in the background. Anyway, yeah, I can't ever explain it properly, but that was it

Oh my gosh! That sounds like an amazing experience! Also, agreeing with pp, great gtky question!!! It's awesome to see all of the different music all of us ladies are into!

roper2617 said:

@MooFish2364 I've noticed for me that POAS and getting that very clear BFN is so much harder to handle than getting AF. I've sworn off early testing (only recently) because my negative self talk rages with BFNs.

I absolutely agree! At least with AF you feel her coming! Poas, it's like flipping a coin and you build up an idea in your head and then get crushed. For me, I had to stop poas because I would be in denial (embarrassing, i know) and think I had taken the test wrong or I miscalculated my cycle. Never was the case.

@BornReady How did your HSG go? I have tried not read too much into them after I heard of the discomfort and length of operation.

@dpjennifer Baby Chickens! Oh, so cute! How many did you get? I've been wanting to get some baby ducks for some reason lately, they'd be so cute to watch.

@mtvkv5 It really is crazy how it only takes an instant, isn't it? I know what you mean on waiting for DH, mine didn't even want to talk about it for the longest time. But now he is right there with me.

@mandi135 "my little teenage emo heart" I LOVE that!!!! I think I will always go back that place whenever I here Welcome to My life

Shoot, I'm always late to the Check-in party! I guess better late than never!

2. WTO, CD 4 and actually doing well

3. Rave - I've got a couple this check in. So I have had short LPs since getting off the bench Oct 2013, caused by stressing to get pregnant, causing more stress. Well, I have been working very hard these past few cycles to manage my stress and keep from dropping into those dangerous lows for very long. Slowly but surely my LP got a bit longer, and this last cycle was my first 14 day LP in 19 cycles!!!!!!!! I feel so much better now! I feel like I actually have a chance again! Like maybe this spring may be my chance! Another rave; I was always the little fat kid in gym that could never run. Welp, this saturday I ran an entire mile for the first time in my life! And I didn't die!!! One more rave! I got to use those special Thinx period panties. Totally awesome! I feel so clean!
Rant - I bought a hpt friday and raced to the bathroom to pee on it. AF had showed up just moments before. Like, really?! Just an hour earlier and I could have saved a few bucks!

4. I got to see Avenged Sevenfold at Desert Uprising in 2013. I've loved them since I was a kid. Amazing show, whole crowd sang along. Fire like crazy! Although it was in Phoenix AZ in September

that heat'll kill ya

BornReady · March 2016

@DinosaurJumper HSG was no big deal at all, thanks for asking! The procedure itself (injecting the dye and looking on the screen) took less than a minute. The prep took maybe 5 minutes and a little waiting for the radiologist to join us. Cramping was super mild. I too read horror stories online, but did not have that experience. I did not have any blockages and everything looked good in there, which might have been why it was so pain free for me. I also took a bunch of ibprophen before the the procedure at the suggestion of the nurse who scheduled me, which probably helped.

roper2617 · March 2016

@chloe97 I'm so sorry to see you back here.

@DinosaurJumper You go girl! Running a mile is pretty damn impressive! Horray for a 14 day LP too! I've been wanting to try those think panties but I'm so afraid of a big huge epic fail or something.

@dogmomwantinghuman I just read an article about an ingredient in cough syrup that thins CM making conception sometimes more likely in some people. I wonder if the NyQuil had the same effect? Although it's entirely possible that O is around the corner too.

fivetimesnoluck · March 2016

@chloe97 Being at the second lollapalooza was awesome. It was the summer before my freshman year in HS! Excited for you to see Pearl Jam at Wrigley - know that will be a killer show! When they announced this tour, I told H we couldn't miss it.
I'm so sorry you're back here, but happy that you'll have no trouble getting in to see the RE.

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