Monday Bitchfest

ahernandez16 · March 2016

A lot of seeing family/in laws over the weekend and plus also it's Monday.

Don't tell me you all don't need to have a bitchfest today. Let 'em rip.

karicontreras82 · March 2016

Oh gosh... where do I begin?????

Saturday: ALL DAY birth class with the most hokey, hippie instructor ever! I was annoyed at the fact she told us to think of contractions as giving my baby "hugs". And while in labor to envision a "golden light" that we're pushing out through our rectum, and to take deep, cleansing breaths. I almost lost it. Oh, and the fact that she made it seem as if formula was created by the devil himself and that circumcision was a crime.

Sunday: Spent ALL morning / afternoon cooking in order to have my family, as well as my in-laws to our house for dinner (20+ people). Then whenever my family would leave the room, I had to hear some of his family talk trash about my family. And vice versa when his family would leave the room. Needless to say, THAT will be the last "combined" family holiday... ever.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest! * deep cleansing breaths* lol

ahernandez16 · March 2016

H's stepmom yesterday. Holy Hell.

H stepped away to talk to his dad and left me alone and she swooped in and started grilling me about my shower. She was upset she wasn't included in deciding the date because that's her birthday week. A whole week? Okay. I told her I had nothing to do with anything and my mom and aunts were doing everything. Then she tells me that she isn't coming because she's already taken that weekend off to go to Vegas for her birthday and that her girls are going with her. Okay. THEN she tells me that they'll just do something after the baby is born with their family so my H can come and be celebrated because, "He's the dad you know." Yeah. I'm pretty aware of that and also he didn't want to be included in the shower. I asked. He said he'd prefer not to be. She then proceeded to tell me she "better" be called as soon as we leave for the hospital.

One of H's sisters saw this all going down and asked me to take her to the store for more beer in an attempt to save me. Then when I got back and we finally left H told me that as soon as I walked out she started grilling him about his plans for after the baby. He had decided to apply for the Correctional Officer Academy and she spent the next 15 minutes or so telling him how dumb that was and she couldn't believe I had talked him into that. I didn't talk him into shit! Then when we were leaving she hugged him for an uncomfortable amount of time and asked him all secretively why we didn't include them in our day trip to the beach for his birthday almost a fucking month ago.

I told H that he needs to have a talk with her and basically tell her that we're married and this whole cornering me the second he steps out of the room isn't going to fly anymore. And that anything she needs to say to him she can say in front of his wife. She's shown zero interest in this baby and I don't feel like I owe her shit. I'm about one more off the wall comment away from cutting her out of mine and this baby's life completely.

catherinekate · March 2016

My students are so fucking lazy and irresponsible. I know that I sound like a grandpa with my "get off the lawn", but I am appalled at how dumb they are and how unmotivated they are to improve fundamental problems with basic grammar and logic. I've taught for years in the English department (I'm a PhD Candidate/adjunct instructor) but I'm teaching in the Film department this year and the dynamic is so different. Some of the problems are structural--English classes are capped at 55, my film class is almost 200. It's not an essay course, although the department requires a lot of written work (just under the threshold I guess to designate it an essay course). But I've won teaching awards in the past and I've worked hard on the course! The syllabus is pretty interesting, I think the questions I'm trying to raise are both interesting and important, but I can't get them to care about anything. You always have a crop of lazy students, but 90% of my students are idiots this year. And I'm getting too pregnant to care anymore.

DeePaddy24 · March 2016

Can I double post?! It was my rant for today but I'm going to add it here, too. I'm that pissy about it, lol.

H & I went to visit his Grandma yesterday before dinner with the inlaws because we hadn't seen her in awhile (I hadn't since Christmas). H was so excited to tell her our LO's name...but, it turns out my MIL beat us to it. Not only did she tell her, but also all of H's siblings. We were going to tell them all, but she completely stole that moment from us. Now I'm wondering who else she has shared this information with.

What makes it worse is that initially we didn't want to share his name with anyone, but it was becoming difficult to keep secret. We decided that we would tell our family, & maybe some close friends...it's our information to share, so we can do what we want. When we told her & my FIL we asked her not to say anything, so she just blatantly ignored our request. It just wasn't her place to share.

She also mentioned yesterday (yeah, I'm on a roll here) that she plans to wait in the waiting room while I'm in labour. I said that the hospital doesn't even allow that now (I kind of exaggerated), & that we would call after he arrives because we want the hour, at least, alone with him before we invite visitors in. She said she didn't care, she would be out there waiting. UGH.

Sorry for the essay. Apparently I really needed to bitch this morning.

VikingGirl12 · March 2016

I was walking DS out the door of church yesterday morning and a woman I don't even know that well stops me and says "you must be about to pop!! You must be due any day now!" I looked at her and said "9 more weeks actually". She looked so horribly surprised and said "wow!!! he was a big baby too though right?" And I said "yes, he was almost 9 pounds. But this one is actually a lot smaller than he was" she said "well, she doesn't look like it! You're huge!"
I think I wanna bitch more about my husband though. He says "oh whatever. She was being friendly. You knew what she meant. You're just trying to find the bad in everyone lately".
Aaaaaand, divorce.

catherinekate · March 2016

karicontreras82 said:

Saturday: ALL DAY birth class with the most hokey, hippie instructor ever! I was annoyed at the fact she told us to think of contractions as giving my baby "hugs". And while in labor to envision a "golden light" that we're pushing out through our rectum, and to take deep, cleansing breaths. I almost lost it. Oh, and the fact that she made it seem as if formula was created by the devil himself and that circumcision was a crime.

ahernandez16 said:

H's stepmom yesterday. Holy Hell.

H stepped away to talk to his dad and left me alone and she swooped in and started grilling me about my shower. She was upset she wasn't included in deciding the date because that's her birthday week. A whole week? Okay. I told her I had nothing to do with anything and my mom and aunts were doing everything. Then she tells me that she isn't coming because she's already taken that weekend off to go to Vegas for her birthday and that her girls are going with her. Okay. THEN she tells me that they'll just do something after the baby is born with their family so my H can come and be celebrated because, "He's the dad you know." Yeah. I'm pretty aware of that and also he didn't want to be included in the shower. I asked. He said he'd prefer not to be. She then proceeded to tell me she "better" be called as soon as we leave for the hospital.

@karicontreras82 I'm not really prone to violence, but that kind of crap makes me rage. I would have walked out.

@ahernandez16 Holy demanding in-laws. I think the hardest thing about being pregnant/a parent is the fact that already-nosy people assume they get a free pass to openly judge your decisions and tell you what to do. Props for your restraint.

catherinekate · March 2016

@VikingGirl12 SO unbelievably rude. Sorry your husband didn't support you better or defend you -- I hope you put him in the doghouse!

mrsschmity · March 2016

Dear step father in law,

If you could refrain from making comments about how you think I'm carrying multiples, joking about you being in the delivery room, and telling H to "make sure you have the doc throw an extra couple of stitches in down there"....that'd be great. It's getting real old.

Kthanks.

ahernandez16 · March 2016

@VikingGirl12 that is EXACTLY what my H said yesterday when I complained about everyone telling me how big I've gotten. He was like, "they're just being friendly. What else are they supposed to say?"

I was like, uh. They could say that I look good? How would you feel if you had gained 30 lbs and everyone came up to you and said "wow! You've gotten so big!" and his response was, "well THAT'S rude and not the same thing."

I almost tossed him out of the car.

@DeePaddy24 uh Yeah. Totally twice bitch worthy. In fact if you started another thread just to bitch about that I wouldn't side eye you. I'd be livid.

Emztron500 · March 2016

mrsschmity said:

Dear step father in law,

If you could refrain from making comments about how you think I'm carrying multiples, joking about you being in the delivery room, and telling H to "make sure you have the doc throw an extra couple of stitches in down there"....that'd be great. It's getting real old.

Kthanks.

omfg. what a douche.

kbequette08 · March 2016

Ugh Mondays in general. Why cant people get it into their thick heads that if I feel like crap I don't want to have small talk. Do not ask me how my weekend was, do not question every little thing that is going on in my life. If I wanted you to know you'd know already. Just leave me the heck alone!!!!!!!! Ugh

crdo · March 2016

WTF is wrong with people?!

1. If you haven't been given a blessing to share news/info that isn't about you, then shut up.

2. If you're about to open your mouth to say anything except "My goodness, you look beautiful!" about a pregnant woman's size or appearance, then shut up.
--Note: If you're about to make a comment related in any way to extra stitches following birth, first shut up, then slap yourself to save someone else the effort.

3. Unless you're about to push a baby out of your vagina/give birth or you assisted in said baby's conception, nothing about said baby's birth or celebrations thereof is about you. Shut up.

4. Give a crap in college to maybe have a decent chance at a job after. Duh.

5. If you think contractions are hugs, you're an idiot, and there's no hope for you.

I'm sure I'll have my own bitch fest topic later today, but damn yours are making me ragey.

ahernandez16 · March 2016

mrsschmity said:

Dear step father in law,

If you could refrain from making comments about how you think I'm carrying multiples, joking about you being in the delivery room, and telling H to "make sure you have the doc throw an extra couple of stitches in down there"....that'd be great. It's getting real old.

Kthanks.

Jesus Christ. What a dick bag.

Huskerfanz · March 2016

I'm sick, H is sick, DS is sick. I'm so uncomfortable and tired and feel crappy. Parenting is hard.

mrsschmity · March 2016

karicontreras82 said:

Oh gosh... where do I begin?????

Saturday: ALL DAY birth class with the most hokey, hippie instructor ever! I was annoyed at the fact she told us to think of contractions as giving my baby "hugs". And while in labor to envision a "golden light" that we're pushing out through our rectum, and to take deep, cleansing breaths. I almost lost it. Oh, and the fact that she made it seem as if formula was created by the devil himself and that circumcision was a crime.

To all of the bolded - H and I have our first birth class this Thursday. If this happens to us, I don't think I'll be able to hold back any snarky comments or snorting laughs. Guaranteed H and I would be looking at each other with "what in the actual fuck" looks on our faces.

colesmom33 · March 2016

Man, you guys are making me so happy I didn't have to see my in-laws yesterday! Unfortunately, I have to have them over for dinner on Thursday.

MamaNicoleof3 · March 2016

Contractions =/ hugs. Never. Just. No.

@mrsschmity- ummm....EW.

People need to shut up and mind their own business. On many accounts.

kwife15 · March 2016

Aaah this thread is a breath of a fresh air. I was thinking--do I have to wait till Tuesday? Although I'm seeing mine is not as bad all things considered.

In laws visited over the weekend. My MIL was just unhappy and sour about everything. She doesn't like her husband anymore and it's a pain to be around them. Her dog that I don't like to be around puked on our new white carpet. She got all butt hurt last time we banned the dog from coming because "she's so clean" and there was tons of drama around that.
On the bright side, she tried to help and there were no controversial or annoying baby comments. Told my husband she cried three days over us saying we don't want anyone in the delivery room but fortunately he smoothed it out. Slightly scared what he said to appease her but will cross that bridge when we get there. It was also a weekend before my family comes to visit and stay with us for...16 days. Hopefully they will just take care of themselves.

Also, second that most students are dumb and can't write to save their lives. Strunk and White are probably rolling in their graves.

meggyme · March 2016

As if things weren't up in the air enough, H called me over the weekend from Japan to say there was a chance his deployment could be extended. He was supposed to be back mid May so I have all my classes crammed into a week to try to accommodate, and now who knows if he'll even be back for kiddo's birth. I'm glad he keeps me informed, but this is worry I could have done without. At least I already have a doula.

DeePaddy24 · March 2016

Oooh, I'm back for another!
H just used up the last of the good cheese we had, leaving me none for the sandwich I'd been craving all morning (that he was aware of). Now I'm just left with shitty kraft singles cheese slices...aka, plastic cheese...for a sandwich, & that is so not okay. If he continues with his trend of eating the last of everything in this house he may not live to see his son's birth.

Palisson · March 2016

https://forums.thebump.com/profile/ahernandez16
@ahernandez16
said:

H's stepmom yesterday. Holy Hell.

H stepped away to talk to his dad and left me alone and she swooped in and started grilling me about my shower. She was upset she wasn't included in deciding the date because that's her birthday week. A whole week? Okay. I told her I had nothing to do with anything and my mom and aunts were doing everything. Then she tells me that she isn't coming because she's already taken that weekend off to go to Vegas for her birthday and that her girls are going with her. Okay. THEN she tells me that they'll just do something after the baby is born with their family so my H can come and be celebrated because, "He's the dad you know." Yeah. I'm pretty aware of that and also he didn't want to be included in the shower. I asked. He said he'd prefer not to be. She then proceeded to tell me she "better" be called as soon as we leave for the hospital.

One of H's sisters saw this all going down and asked me to take her to the store for more beer in an attempt to save me. Then when I got back and we finally left H told me that as soon as I walked out she started grilling him about his plans for after the baby. He had decided to apply for the Correctional Officer Academy and she spent the next 15 minutes or so telling him how dumb that was and she couldn't believe I had talked him into that. I didn't talk him into shit! Then when we were leaving she hugged him for an uncomfortable amount of time and asked him all secretively why we didn't include them in our day trip to the beach for his birthday almost a fucking month ago.

I told H that he needs to have a talk with her and basically tell her that we're married and this whole cornering me the second he steps out of the room isn't going to fly anymore. And that anything she needs to say to him she can say in front of his wife. She's shown zero interest in this baby and I don't feel like I owe her shit. I'm about one more off the wall comment away from cutting her out of mine and this baby's life completely.

Being a CO is a great job. I worked for my State's Corrections Department for years and I admire those who do it for their family. After a few years he can really begin to make his way- all that overtime and the pension! I was stuck in the office of general counsel, but dang- our people in the facilities and on the streets make a huge difference. I am happy for you guys to enter the world of Corrections, if you guys see all the opportunity it offers and want those opportunities for yourselves!

Your MIL needs to be cut off from her meddling.

jmohio · March 2016

Omg I need this today. So as many of you know I have been having issues with my brother and SIL they had an empty sack pregnancy that ended in December. Well ever since they have tried to make me feel quilty that I was still pregnant and how unfair it was. Well it got to the point that we haven't had a decent conversation since December. In February my brother proceeded to tell me that I was selfish because I was shopping for my baby and talking to my mum about the baby (he has never been around the shopping nor around when I talk to my mum on the phone)? Then told me that they couldn't try for 6 months because the doctor said the miscarriage did too much damage to my SIL. They made the miscarriage out to be worse than it was, which I do not understand it is a horrible time why make it worse. They told my mum and sister that they heard the baby's heart beat then heard it stop, (empty sack meaning there wasn't a baby?) Then said my SIL could tell when the baby passed cause she could see the baby. She was 5-6 weeks along. So then again in February he tried to make me feel so guilty and admitted he tried to to stress me out so I could "feel their pain" let me add this is my 3rd pregnancy first one to last past 1st trimester!! Then my mum told me yesterday that my SIL announced her pregnancy she is due in OCT. Meaning they were pregnant in January!!! I do not understand how people can be so wicked and mean!!! Then today is my nephews b-day and I asked if I could call him just to wish him a happy birthday as I have for every b-day for 8 years!! I was told hell no and said if I couldn't like my brother and talk to him I couldn't talk to my nephew! I hate childish drama filled people!!!! I was upset yesterday because I was hurt that he was making me feel guilty and yet they were pregnant. Long bitch fest but damn I needed to vent that.

ahernandez16 · March 2016

@jmohio damn. Miscarriage is awful and I know that people grieve differently but taking it out on you and wishing ill for you and your pregnancy is unacceptable.

jmohio · March 2016

That was my thing it is already a tough time and everyone was being good to them. I even took their kids a few nights to try and help, I also took them dinner twice, ice cream and magazines and anything I could to help. Why make someone feel guilty, why try to make them miserable. They ruined the first half of this pregnancy for me, when we announced they called me to tell me I made their boys very upset and ruined christmas (I put it on FB which neither of my nephews have so how did I upset them)?

goldie987 · March 2016

I think H is reluctant to say everything to his mother that I ask him to regarding the baby. I've asked him a few times to explain to her that we're planning to keep things gender neutral as far as newborn and 0-3 sized clothes (at minimum), bedding, baby furniture etc so that we can reuse everything with a second baby but she keeps making (unsolicited) suggestions about the things that she did after her kids were born to get items in the "proper" colors.

If he IS telling her these things, then why is it so difficult to grasp the concept of "we want things in neutrals so we can reuse them" ???

Also, whoever decided cherry blossom trees should be planted near where people park their cars should be shot. They're pretty for about a week and then your car turns into a pale pink mess of discarded petals that dry on and won't come off. Ugh

heathersaysso · March 2016

@jmohio so you can feel their pain? What the ever loving fuck??? They need to be banned from your life if that's the kind of behavior they exhibit. Oh and if they had an empty sack how are they seeing body parts and hearing heart beats? Those are some goddamn sociopath level lies and actions there.

goldie987 · March 2016

@jmohio wow, that's a few people who seem to insist on everything being about them! Do they know that you have lost 2 pregnancies and fully understand their pain? If so, it's so beyond out of line. I bet they expect you to be all sorts of excited for them now too, despite them not showing the same respect for you when you got pregnant after a loss.

colesmom33 · March 2016

Sgoldberg247 said:

I think H is reluctant to say everything to his mother that I ask him to regarding the baby. I've asked him a few times to explain to her that we're planning to keep things gender neutral as far as newborn and 0-3 sized clothes (at minimum), bedding, baby furniture etc so that we can reuse everything with a second baby but she keeps making (unsolicited) suggestions about the things that she did after her kids were born to get items in the "proper" colors.

If he IS telling her these things, then why is it so difficult to grasp the concept of "we want things in neutrals so we can reuse them" so difficult to grasp???

Also, whoever decided cherry blossom trees should be planted near where people park their cars should be shot. They're pretty for about a week and then your car turns into a pale pink mess of discarded petals that dry on and won't come off. Ugh

This is my life!! I keep asking my DH to talk to his family about visiting the hospital (visit can be no longer than an hour - I can't believe I even have to say that! My family will stay 20 min. tops, his family = three hours!) and how we (mostly me) don't want visitors the first week we're at home. I know he's scared to tell his family this! I keep telling him it'll be a lot better coming from him than from me!

jmohio · March 2016

Yes they know about my previous issues. My husband and I tried for almost 2 years for this miracle and had a miscarriage last January. They were around for it and knew it broke us. I told my mum I think they need to seek help, what they have done isn't what sane people do. They haven't even told me they are pregnant... I told them with these behaviors I didn't want them around my daughter when she is here I truly don't trust them!!

meggyme · March 2016

@jmohio wow, that's shitty of them! And to use their children as ammo in such a ridiculous argument...

kwife15 · March 2016

jmohio said:

Yes they know about my previous issues. My husband and I tried for almost 2 years for this miracle and had a miscarriage last January. They were around for it and knew it broke us. I told my mum I think they need to seek help, what they have done isn't what sane people do. They haven't even told me they are pregnant... I told them with these behaviors I didn't want them around my daughter when she is here I truly don't trust them!!

Good for you for cutting them off. Such hurtful ridiculous behavior!!

edeibel89 · March 2016

@jmohio, you win, hands down!!! that is the most awful thing I've ever heard!

TNvols27 · March 2016

@jmohio that whole situation is just really messed up! I'm sorry you're going through that. It really sucks that they can't be happy for you.

MsBeachNJ · March 2016

@jmohio wow... I have no words. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that nonsense!!

CourtJack · March 2016

Wow. My rant will fit right in. My parents were up for the weekend. My mom and I were talking about the issues this baby has been having in terms of growth. She, in her ever considerate manner, says "well, I don't see how this baby is so small, YOU are just as huge as when you had your other two kids and they were both normal". So sweet. Then she proceeds to watch me all weekend and give me looks anytime I ate anything. I was eating a mini egg at my inlaws and I looked over and both my parents were pointing at me and my dad was imitating me eating. My mom rolled her eyes.

Oh right. Now I remember why I have body image issues. Thanks for reminding me, assholes.

dairygirl93 · March 2016

We just finished moving yesterday from one house on the farm I live at, to another. I made cheesecake before we moved and left it in the fridge so I could grab it today. I just went to go get it and ITS GONE. I am pissed. There is a 17 year old who lives in another house on the yard and he thinks he's entitled to everything so he just took it. Uhm no. First off, I paid rent until the end of the month. That house is still mine you are not allowed to just go in whenever you please. Second, ITS MY DAMN CHEESECAKE. I made it for ME. Grr.

MamaNicoleof3 · March 2016

CourtJack said:

Wow. My rant will fit right in. My parents were up for the weekend. My mom and I were talking about the issues this baby has been having in terms of growth. She, in her ever considerate manner, says "well, I don't see how this baby is so small, YOU are just as huge as when you had your other two kids and they were both normal". So sweet. Then she proceeds to watch me all weekend and give me looks anytime I ate anything. I was eating a mini egg at my inlaws and I looked over and both my parents were pointing at me and my dad was imitating me eating. My mom rolled her eyes.

Oh right. Now I remember why I have body image issues. Thanks for reminding me, assholes.

Ohhhhh noooooo they DI'INT!

Mr0616 · March 2016

dairygirl93 said:

We just finished moving yesterday from one house on the farm I live at, to another. I made cheesecake before we moved and left it in the fridge so I could grab it today. I just went to go get it and ITS GONE. I am pissed. There is a 17 year old who lives in another house on the yard and he thinks he's entitled to everything so he just took it. Uhm no. First off, I paid rent until the end of the month. That house is still mine you are not allowed to just go in whenever you please. Second, ITS MY DAMN CHEESECAKE. I made it for ME. Grr.

Don't eff with a pregnant woman's food, asshat. I would egg his house.

AmberLiz99 · March 2016

Last night dh made a comment about my bottom and I thought he was joking because he jokes like that and I mostly grow outward with pregnancy, so I just said a lighthearted "hay" and brushed his hand away. But he responded with "what, you want me to lie? Don't worry, some squats and it'll be tight again."
Gerrrrrrr. Just don't comment on the weight or size of your wife who is 7 months pregnant with your third kid. How does that not go without saying?

DeePaddy24 · March 2016

CourtJack said:

Wow. My rant will fit right in. My parents were up for the weekend. My mom and I were talking about the issues this baby has been having in terms of growth. She, in her ever considerate manner, says "well, I don't see how this baby is so small, YOU are just as huge as when you had your other two kids and they were both normal". So sweet. Then she proceeds to watch me all weekend and give me looks anytime I ate anything. I was eating a mini egg at my inlaws and I looked over and both my parents were pointing at me and my dad was imitating me eating. My mom rolled her eyes.

Oh right. Now I remember why I have body image issues. Thanks for reminding me, assholes.

Oh, wow...brutal!

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