Family Loss

Shiloh1121 · March 2016

I just loss my Dad last week and things seem to always go wrong now! It's so hard being 33 weeks pregnant an losing my Dad the one man who I always looked to for help and for prayers! It hurts that my Dad will never meet his grandson and hurts even more that when I told him he was excited! Everyone in my family tells me don't be to depress it's gonna affect the baby but it's impossible given the fact that I'm a huge dad's girl! Eating has been a struggle and drink will my baby be okay?

JoMunson · March 2016

I'm so sorry for your loss. My gramma passed away almost a year ago (baby's due almost a year to the day of her death) and you're right, it is hard to realize your baby and the person you love won't meet here on Earth. Baby's have a sixth sense though so remember your dad is caring for you and your baby from Heaven.
as to your health, of course it's important to try and eat and drink when you can. When I had HG I was worried about my baby getting enough nutrients since I couldn't even hold down water. The midwives told me that your body gives everything to the baby first and you get what's left. Your baby will get nutrients by taking what you can eat and pairing it with stores in your body, you might just not have enough left over.
just do your best to care for yourself, baby's doing their best to care for themselves. Nows a good time to lean on those you love so they can make sure you're eating enough, getting enough rest, and drinking enough water.
sending you lots of prayers!

saladflambe · March 2016

Losing a parent is a huge loss, and it is absolutely OK to grieve right now. Your baby will be ok. Do you have someone that can offer you support right now? A priest/pastor, therapist, counselor... this is a really difficult loss that I can't imagine going through without someone in your corner...especially given the additional stress of having a baby coming soon.

Thinking of you -- I'm so sorry for your loss.

kbrands7 · March 2016

I'm so sorry for your loss! Please be sure to take the time you need to grieve, but also take care of yourself as best you can by eating right, drinking lots of water, and trying to get enough sleep and light exercise. Whatever you can do for yourself will help your baby to stay healthy too. Thoughts and prayers for you.

Pascal86 · March 2016

Grieving is important, I think it's just as bad for you and baby to keep that inside. Just stay hydrated and let other people take care of you.

Best wishes in your mourning process, I hope you can find moments of peace soon.

LadySamLady · March 2016

I'm so sorry for your loss. Pregnancy is hard enough, I can't imagine grieving for a parent at the same time. I echo what PP have said and urge you to seek support from those closest to you, both emotionally and practically to help you stay mentally and physically strong in these final weeks before the baby is born. Grieving is a process that takes time and looks different for everyone, try not to be so hard on yourself and give yourself room to grieve this incredible loss. Hydration is very important, do your best to drink water if you can't get anything else down. Again, I'm so so sorry for your loss. I'm sending thoughts and prayers for you and your family during this difficult time.

thismakes4 · March 2016

I'm so sorry for your loss, sending good vibes your way. Grieving is a natural thing and know that your dad is watching over you and baby.

sparkledonuts · March 2016

My dad passed away two months ago so I know how hard it it and especially being pregnant .. I ended up having to go to labor and delivery twice from contractions but the biggest thing it to make sure you are drinking a lot and not just water but try some Powerade as well and also if you don't really have an appetite try some ensure for the calories .. sorry for your loss it's extremely difficult and the closer I get to delivering the harder grieving is as I know he is no longer here but I just try to block it out and deal with out after the baby

ashleyla526 · March 2016

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I also lost my dad during this pregnancy, about 5 months ago at 9 weeks pregnant. Grieving is normal and should not affect your baby, but do make sure you are drinking plenty of water and eating when you can. As I am learning, grieving and coming to terms with my dad not meeting LO here on Earth is a process. Let yourself feel whatever you feel and cry when you need to cry. I won't say it gets easier, but you learn to cope. I am now to the point of incorporating memories and special touches of my dad into the nursery and plans for our baby. I have also researched and talked to my DH about our plans to talk to LO about my dad and make sure this baby knows how much my dad loved knowing about them being on the way and that he is now watching over us. My thoughts are with you and your family.

lalala2004 · March 2016

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please don't let anyone make you feel bad for grieving and being upset. Just try to take care of yourself as best you can. Your baby will be fine.

LadyStardust179 · March 2016

So sorry for your loss. T&P to you.

mrstmoose · March 2016

Everyone else gave great advice. I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss.

Bluejay3030 · March 2016

I'm so sorry for your loss. I agree with PPs that it's ok to grieve, and truthfully it's unfair for anyone to expect you not to. Continue to take care of yourself physically as best you can; your baby will be okay.

slfezz · March 2016

I lost my dad when I was 6 months pregnant with my first so I understand exactly where you are coming from. Let yourself grieve, it's not going to hurt the baby and it's what you need to do to get yourself back to a better place mentally when the baby comes. The best thing you can do it just make sure you eat and drink enough throughout the day. Find someone you are comfortable with to pester you about that routinely because some days you just don't want to (DH did this for me).

Also consider therapy to help you through the grieving process, it really helped me. I was so worried that I could barely take care of myself that there was no way I could take care of a baby (especially as a FTM!) and I actually end up on medication for the last tri and a few months post partum to get through the worst of it and I don't regret it one bit.

Once DD#1 got here, it did help me and my family heal a lot. Even though it was sad that dad wasn't here, she was a new joy that everyone could focus on. She is 5 now and I tell her that her middle name is extra special since she has my Daddy's name hidden in hers (Gary inside of Grayce) and she loves it. Somedays it still hurts that my kids won't ever know their grandpa and that won't ever change but it does get easier as the years go by.

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