Ok...unrelated to my complaints on teaching (and for the record, I normally really do like my job, I know a complain a lot on here, but I think a lot of us may "complain" more on here than IRL )...
So yesterday was National Puppy Day. DH made a prime rib over the weekend and we saved the two bones in it to let our dog have them (while we held them and supervised, since they splinter and are very dangerous if they break). She got the first one on the day he made the prime rib. The other we thought was perfectly suited for her special treat on National Puppy Day. I swear, this is what happened to her eyes when we brought out the bones...you want to talk about dilation? Show a meaty bone to a big food loving dog...!!!
Yeeeeeah...I guess my biggest fear when I contact parents (and this is a fear that is founded in past experiences) is the parent is so quick to blame me for their child not being successful rather than recognizing that their child hasn't exactly done their part to BE successful. I hate confrontation, and since I have had parent contacts flipped on me in the past, I do my best to provide all the information to avoid them...
Keep in mind that a lot of these parents probably want to blame you when the shortcomings are their own - too busy to help the kid, don't enforce time for homework, etc. and can't accept that they're just shitty parents. It's not your job to parent anyone's children but your own.
I'm nervous because my husband just booked a ticket to go to Cleveland to find us a place to live and I'm 37 weeks today. I hope I don't have the baby when my husband is 2,500 miles away!
@imrachellea at the end of the day, it's annoying AF, but I think you should call her back. FX it'll go to voicemail or something, but it's shittier to leave with the new sub to deal with when they don't know the student from Adam. Suck it up, get it done, and let it go. I do agree that talking on the phone blows, I hate calling MD offices for f/u on my therapy patients, it makes me cringe.
But hey, happy last day, you lucky duck!
This is none of my business, of course, but I share the same thoughts as @cmjenkiesabove.
Maybe a good compromise is to email her instead of calling. State clearly that you have left thorough notes online that the parent can access here (link again or sign in instructions or whatever) and that unfortunately, since the grading period was closed on XXX date (so she sees she was late to the party anyway) and your class will be taken over by a substitute (include name if you know who it is) that there is no additional follow-through you can provide for her at this time. Then you can add you encourage STUDENT NAME to work on x, y, and z (even if it's reiterating some of the online notes vaguely) and best of luck for the rest of the year. THE END.
I think you'll feel better and have peace of mind in your leave that you didn't just leave the mom hanging but that you also didn't cave and call her when she was being lame and last-minute about it. Good juju/karma or whatever.
@emgee27 I would LOVE to email her, but unfortunately we don't have all accessible email addresses. It drives me crazy when parents don't provide that, because it is so much easier for me to send a quick email (with well thought out words, since I tend to get taken by surprise by some things parents say and can't respond appropriately). I have no problem sending parent emails, because it is so much less confrontational (and somehow these parents ALWAYS become super chatty). I also got even more frustrated, because while I had another class in here I went through this student's grades in other classes and the same reason the grade is low for me is the same reason it is low in others. So this is nothing special. But I love how you worded that response, and I'm going to double check for an email for this kid, because I can seriously knock out a great email!
@imrachellea uggghh bummer! I work with students too (albeit, college students, even though they don't often act like it!) so I totally hear you about blame....it's not the parents usually in the case of college students (except when we release admissions decisions and their kid does not receive admission) but the students themselves always want to blame you for not meeting deadlines that they should have met. It's frustrating. At least in my case, I have mastered a little shpeal after all these years that I give them about how this is college now and there will be no more hand-holding and they need to get it together. It's much nicer than that but gets the point across.
I always find that dealing with a POed parent, its really that they want to vent. They know it's not really my fault, even though they might start with blaming me. If I just repeat, I understand, I understand, and let them get their whole vent out, then I can address the real issue at the end. Good luck, girl!!!
Well. THAT went well. The conversation was all well and good with this parent until she decided to tell me she doesn't agree with my method of giving an assessment at the end of a grading period. Um...what exactly do you think midterms and finals ARE?! Don't you DARE tell me how to teach/run my class when you are not educated on how to teach because I can guarantee MANY teachers give tests at the end of grading periods. They are the end of the unit, and therefore PERFECTLY placed at the end of a grading period. So sorry to go off on a rant here, but since I'm still at school for another 50 minuets I can't exact vent elsewhere...
ETA: I also have to add that giving assessments at the end of the grading period is, for the most part, not a problem for the majority of my students because most of them are not borderline on their grades. If they are borderline, it's probably a good idea to make sure you aren't waiting until a major assessment...or you, in this case, AFTER a major assessment...to start asking how to better prepare them.
...again, truly truly sorry to sound like a raging lunatic...I'm really quite sane
Well. THAT went well. The conversation was all well and good with this parent until she decided to tell me she doesn't agree with my method of giving an assessment at the end of a grading period. Um...what exactly do you think midterms and finals ARE?! Don't you DARE tell me how to teach/run my class when you are not educated on how to teach because I can guarantee MANY teachers give tests at the end of grading periods. They are the end of the unit, and therefore PERFECTLY placed at the end of a grading period. So sorry to go off on a rant here, but since I'm still at school for another 50 minuets I can't exact vent elsewhere...
So the end of a grading period is supposed to be a free for all?
Well. THAT went well. The conversation was all well and good with this parent until she decided to tell me she doesn't agree with my method of giving an assessment at the end of a grading period. Um...what exactly do you think midterms and finals ARE?! Don't you DARE tell me how to teach/run my class when you are not educated on how to teach because I can guarantee MANY teachers give tests at the end of grading periods. They are the end of the unit, and therefore PERFECTLY placed at the end of a grading period. So sorry to go off on a rant here, but since I'm still at school for another 50 minuets I can't exact vent elsewhere...
So the end of a grading period is supposed to be a free for all?
Yeah, I don't get the parent's point either. She's just mad her kid is failing. If it was in the middle of the grading period, then that would be the issue, that it's not at the end. Lame.
@yodiggity@emgee27 Thank you!!! I seriously have NEVER had a parent have an issue with this before, and just because her kid was borderline on grades and it went the opposite of how she wanted, doesn't mean she gets to tell me how I run my class is wrong.
...last day...last class...until August... Ima just take my crown and go...
@imrachellea umm, what's going to happen when this kid takes a midterm or final that matters - like in college, when you're paying over $500 to take the class? Is mommy going t call the dean bitching because her kid was too busy partying to study and turn in all of the other assignments like a responsible person?
School is supposed to prepare you for life, which for most people now includes college. College has midterms and finals. I seriously fail to see why having a similar structure is wrong.
@imrachellea umm, what's going to happen when this kid takes a midterm or final that matters - like in college, when you're paying over $500 to take the class? Is mommy going t call the dean bitching because her kid was too busy partying to study and turn in all of the other assignments like a responsible person?
School is supposed to prepare you for life, which for most people now includes college. College has midterms and finals. I seriously fail to see why having a similar structure is wrong.
As someone who works with college students, the answer is yes....some parents will STILL call and bitch or call to make alternate arrangements for their kid failing/not meeting a deadline/etc.
@emgee27 I can't even begin to explain how embarrassed I would be if, as a college student, my parents called to complain about my grades
Maybe I just had bad parents, because when I screw up they always assumed it was my fault. Not happy with my grades? I should've studied harder. Speeding ticket? That's expected when you're speeding. If you haven't read the article floating around Facebook about some new soldier's mom galling the garrison commander and sergeant major and earning him a "pizza party" because he feels left out about not having a combat patch, I encourage it for late-night reading. (Combat patches are earned, often through the blood of friends and a "pizza party" is not a good thing.)
@emgee27 I can't even begin to explain how embarrassed I would be if, as a college student, my parents called to complain about my grades
Maybe I just had bad parents, because when I screw up they always assumed it was my fault. Not happy with my grades? I should've studied harder. Speeding ticket? That's expected when you're speeding. If you haven't read the article floating around Facebook about some new soldier's mom galling the garrison commander and sergeant major and earning him a "pizza party" because he feels left out about not having a combat patch, I encourage it for late-night reading. (Combat patches are earned, often through the blood of friends and a "pizza party" is not a good thing.)
I would call that GOOD parenting! There are some serious cases of helicopter parents and at the college-level, they really need to just cut the cord. However, my experience has been that these parents have done this with their kids all of high school too, and so when the students get college, they seriously don't know how to handle anything. They aren't embarrassed at all, they are happy to be complacent and not have to handle anything. The great thing about my school is that there is a limit to what the parents can take care of and beyond some very small basics, our policy is we have to speak with the student and can only go into details with them directly. I really enjoy dropping that bomb on the super-helicopter parents who are calling, it makes them so angry and makes my day!
I've always been a walker during labor, so this "go home and rest" crap is driving me up a wall.
DH informed me that he's been doing some serious eye rolls at the pancake drama couple. Apparently after all of their drama, they're now copying my birthday trip that I planned for DH a over a year ago. DH hasn't shut up about that trip since we got back from it in February 2015 and keeps telling everyone how much he wants to go back. He's actually been trying to figure out when the best time would be to go PP.
@AmadorRose if your parents are bad parents, then I am, too. That's pretty much exactly how I parent my kids. Also, even my 7yo knows that they will not even be allowed to take drivers ed if their grades don't qualify them for a good student insurance discount. That shit is expensive, and driving is a privilege, not a right. My kids also have to earn screen time that isn't directly homework related. And my teen doesn't have a phone, even though it's a huge pain in the ass for me, because she broke two of them and then lost one. Sorry kid, but if I treated my phone the way you treated yours, I wouldn't have one either.
@fbanke42 Mushu is seriously Eddie Murphy's best role ever.
Have you ever bought something that you don't even know that you really need just because it was such a good deal? Well, that was me after I left Target with a brand new BOB Revolution SE stroller this afternoon. Originally priced: $374.99, on clearance for $100.04. (Whut?) Added to registry, used completion coupon then RedCard discount to end up being $80.78. Plus, I got a 25$ GC for spending so much on baby stuff. So essentially.. This stroller was brand new for $55. Can you blame a girl? I may need to start jogging now.
But really, has anybody used BOB strollers in the past? Are they actually worth that original price? I'm not much a stroller gal historically, but I just couldn't say no. The deals, they blind me.
I was sitting at a red light this morning. As my light turned green, a guy in a giant work truck came barelling through the intersection, running the his, very, red light....then *he* flipped *me* off. wtf just happened???
I was sitting at a red light this morning. As my light turned green, a guy in a giant work truck came barelling through the intersection, running the his, very, red light....then *he* flipped *me* off. wtf just happened???
Ahhh, good Friday Atlanta drivers. I almost got hit this morning by an SUV that decided it was their right to change lanes into me from an on ramp. Luckily I could move over as I was on my horn because all they did was flip me off and continue into my lane.
Going out to dinner with my friend tonight and I can't decide between Cheesecake Factory, Japanese, or really good American/pub grub. This is the biggest problem I'm allowing myself to deal with today.
Going out to dinner with my friend tonight and I can't decide between Cheesecake Factory, Japanese, or really good American/pub grub. This is the biggest problem I'm allowing myself to deal with today.
Going out to dinner with my friend tonight and I can't decide between Cheesecake Factory, Japanese, or really good American/pub grub. This is the biggest problem I'm allowing myself to deal with today.
mmmm japanese always gets my vote.
mmm now I want fried rice drowned in yum yum sauce.
I had another dream my baby could talk right after birth, but this time he could also stand and walk and he was potty trained. I was disappointed though because it meant I had no use for all the cloth diapers I bought.
DH thinks he may have strep throat, since one of his coworkers has it. Great. My body could go back into labor at any time and all of us may get strep. Lovely.
My alarm didn't go off this morning because I decided it would be a good idea to let my phone update in the middle of the night after DH woke me up. Not sure why he got all pissy, grabbed a blanket and pillow, and went to sleep on the couch. I'm guessing either a cat or DS kept bugging him? I dunno... All I know is, it woke me up, so I let my phone update... But didn't finish going through everything so my alarm for work didn't go off. DH's alarm woke me up around the time I needed to leave. So I got dressed and booked it out the door.
Totally just had to go to the bathroom and cry at work. My MIL works at the school with me, and her class is headed out on a half-day field trip. She just stopped by my classroom to tell me she has her phone with her in case I need her or anything happens with LO. I know she has been excited about a new grand-baby (this will be her 7th), but there's a difference in the way she interacts with me vs her other DIL and daughter. Not nasty or negative, but it's also that way with DH...he's the black sheep. It totally caught me off guard today and makes me feel like she is really invested/concerned with LO.
Have you ever bought something that you don't even know that you really need just because it was such a good deal? Well, that was me after I left Target with a brand new BOB Revolution SE stroller this afternoon. Originally priced: $374.99, on clearance for $100.04. (Whut?) Added to registry, used completion coupon then RedCard discount to end up being $80.78. Plus, I got a 25$ GC for spending so much on baby stuff. So essentially.. This stroller was brand new for $55. Can you blame a girl? I may need to start jogging now.
But really, has anybody used BOB strollers in the past? Are they actually worth that original price? I'm not much a stroller gal historically, but I just couldn't say no. The deals, they blind me.
@cmjenkiesthat is a killer deal and I'm jealous! I tried to hunt one down on clearance but they move pretty quickly here and most stores in my area didn't clearance them. Anything under $200 is a fantastic price for a new BOB. Resale on them tends to be pretty solid, too. They're great for running, but also for offroad, the beach, etc. Just don't run with baby until he/she is at least 6 months and has good head control
Re: **The Everything Random Thread for April Mamas**
So yesterday was National Puppy Day. DH made a prime rib over the weekend and we saved the two bones in it to let our dog have them (while we held them and supervised, since they splinter and are very dangerous if they break). She got the first one on the day he made the prime rib. The other we thought was perfectly suited for her special treat on National Puppy Day. I swear, this is what happened to her eyes when we brought out the bones...you want to talk about dilation? Show a meaty bone to a big food loving dog...!!!
I think you'll feel better and have peace of mind in your leave that you didn't just leave the mom hanging but that you also didn't cave and call her when she was being lame and last-minute about it. Good juju/karma or whatever.
I always find that dealing with a POed parent, its really that they want to vent. They know it's not really my fault, even though they might start with blaming me. If I just repeat, I understand, I understand, and let them get their whole vent out, then I can address the real issue at the end. Good luck, girl!!!
ETA: I also have to add that giving assessments at the end of the grading period is, for the most part, not a problem for the majority of my students because most of them are not borderline on their grades. If they are borderline, it's probably a good idea to make sure you aren't waiting until a major assessment...or you, in this case, AFTER a major assessment...to start asking how to better prepare them.
...again, truly truly sorry to sound like a raging lunatic...I'm really quite sane
...last day...last class...until August...
Ima just take my crown and go...
School is supposed to prepare you for life, which for most people now includes college. College has midterms and finals. I seriously fail to see why having a similar structure is wrong.
DH informed me that he's been doing some serious eye rolls at the pancake drama couple. Apparently after all of their drama, they're now copying my birthday trip that I planned for DH a over a year ago. DH hasn't shut up about that trip since we got back from it in February 2015 and keeps telling everyone how much he wants to go back. He's actually been trying to figure out when the best time would be to go PP.
I just laughed.
He's incredibly annoyed.
@fbanke42 Mushu is seriously Eddie Murphy's best role ever.
I am getting tacos for dinner and OMG I'm drooling waiting for it lol
But really, has anybody used BOB strollers in the past? Are they actually worth that original price? I'm not much a stroller gal historically, but I just couldn't say no. The deals, they blind me.
DH thinks he may have strep throat, since one of his coworkers has it. Great. My body could go back into labor at any time and all of us may get strep. Lovely.
My alarm didn't go off this morning because I decided it would be a good idea to let my phone update in the middle of the night after DH woke me up. Not sure why he got all pissy, grabbed a blanket and pillow, and went to sleep on the couch. I'm guessing either a cat or DS kept bugging him? I dunno... All I know is, it woke me up, so I let my phone update... But didn't finish going through everything so my alarm for work didn't go off. DH's alarm woke me up around the time I needed to leave. So I got dressed and booked it out the door.
@sprocketsngadgets I'd do the Japanese too...but it screws up my BP. all the yumyum sauce though....mmmmmmmmmm