I'm SO nervous for my appointments today (genetic counseling, NT/12-week ultrasound, EKG, and OB office visit) that I woke up jittery and even though my MS is pretty much gone I could throw up right now. They'll all be done by mid-afternoon so I'm trying to remember to just breathe for now, not give myself heart issues for the EKG haha, and telling myself my blump wouldn't be turning into this bump if the baby had stopped growing (which I know from last time isn't necessarily true but, trying to trick myself?). If you have any spare positive thoughts please send them in my direction
Positive thoughts to you @uponastar16! I totally get the anxiety--my first ultrasound is on Saturday and I'm scared shitless. FX that everything goes well for you and that you come out of this afternoon absolutely thrilled about your healthy baby!
DH and I: Early/mid 30s Married 7/15
TTC #1 as of 8/15
BFP 11/21/15 -- MC confirmed 12/1/15 BFP #2 2/18/16
Thanks girls, everything went fine! I can't believe how relieved and exciting this is...measuring just right, good heartbeat, wiggling around like crazy, and NT looked good so just waiting for genetic results next week. I know there's still a lot that can happen but for now I'm letting myself sit with the idea that it's soo nice to see a baby-like creature!
Thanks girls, everything went fine! I can't believe how relieved and exciting this is...measuring just right, good heartbeat, wiggling around like crazy, and NT looked good so just waiting for genetic results next week. I know there's still a lot that can happen but for now I'm letting myself sit with the idea that it's soo nice to see a baby-like creature!
Wahoooo!
DH and I: Early/mid 30s Married 7/15
TTC #1 as of 8/15
BFP 11/21/15 -- MC confirmed 12/1/15 BFP #2 2/18/16
@krzyriver Every time I see a loss it is like a stab in the gut because I know exactly what they are feeling and going through and then I start doubting myself a little but I think the thing that is helping the most is you ladies. Every time I get slightly down I read a post that makes me smile or laugh or just feel better in general.
@krzyriver Every time I see a loss it is like a stab in the gut because I know exactly what they are feeling and going through and then I start doubting myself a little but I think the thing that is helping the most is you ladies. Every time I get slightly down I read a post that makes me smile or laugh or just feel better in general.
I feel same way. It sends me right back to the time I wrote my own loss announcement. I keep telling myself that I'm way past that point now and things are looking good, but it's so hard to move on from loss!
My anxiety is definitely high. My appointment is next Wednesday and it'll have been a month since my last where I was put on progesterone pills because it was so low. Seeing all these losses makes me so upset. I know how heartbroken these ladies must be. I bought a used fetal Doppler yesterday because I thought it would help my anxiety and nope. I'm 11 weeks and couldn't find the heartbeat after 2 hours worth of trying. Now I just feel worse. I wish October would hurry up and get here so we can all have these beautiful babies in our arms!
@UponAStar16 - wonderful news! Thanks for sharing!
im with y'all on the loss news. It breaks my heart to hear that other people may join a PGAL board in the future--the club no one wants to be part of.
i FINALLY picked up baby's beautiful heartbeat on the Doppler last night. It was amazing and definitely helped me relax.
*Loss & bfp mentioned*
me 28 (Lean PCOS, hypothyroid) dh 33 TTC #1 since early 2011 May 2011- natural pregnancy (metformin only); m/c @ 9 weeks + D&C July 2011- lap to remove dermoid cyst August 2012-current- 9 rounds of Clomid, 1 cycle of Femara, several cycles of soy isos, 1 IUI, O'd every cycle, BFN August 2014- lap to remove uterine septum. Everything else looking good. Moving onto IVF Feb/March 2016 Just kidding. Natural bfp 1/30/16. 1st beta 2/1 = 110. 2nd beta 2/3 = 332.
First ultrasound 2/19 - one baby with a heart rate of 127! EDD 10/11/2016
I'm right there with all of you. I've kind of been avoiding all threads except the daily ones because I couldn't handle the losses. I keep thinking I'll get to a point where I'll feel safer, but it hasn't happened yet. Maybe in my second trimester. But it does help to be able to let it out here. No one in my life understands. It's nice to have people who do.
Maybe it's just my hormones, but the past few loss posts have actually made me cry. I am so scared of feeling that pain again, and hate hearing about others going through it. I may start avoiding those posts for a bit.
My husband and I recently bought a sonoline b. We are going to try it out this weekend when we're 9 weeks. I'm hoping it will ease some of my worry, but I'm also fearful of not being able to find the heartbeat, which may cause more anxiety. My next u/s isn't for another 4 weeks...I hate having to wait that long just to hear the fate of if everything is okay.
As crazy as it sounds, I was thinking of going to one of those ultrasound places this weekend, just to make sure that everything is okay. I'm really hoping the doppler can calm me down. I've been worrying so much lately, and I think it's from the loss posts.
I'm praying that all of our babies are growing normally and are healthy with a strong heartbeat!!
I'm with everyone on the loss posts causing anxiety. I actually deleted TB app over the weekend and stayed away for a couple of days. After a good appt/sono on Tuesday, I'm feeling a little bit better but it will just build back up until my next appt. I really hope 2nd tri brings some relief.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
@PupatellaHubby and I have tried our sonoline b three times and haven't heard anything yet. I'm almost 12 weeks. So definitely try not to let your anxiety take over if you don't hear anything. It's still early. But I hope you do so you can feel reassured.
I have an appt on the 30th that I don't need. My doctor told me not to cancel it just in case I need it. I'm really tempted to go....but I don't think she'll use the Doppler without reason. I don't know if PGAL anxiety is a real reason. Lol
@MRSCORKER it is so nice to know that I'm not alone!!
My h is convinced that everything is fine and tells me he "just knows" that this pregnancy is going to work out and be okay. I love his confidence, but I am definitely not there yet.
@UponAStar16 Hooray for wonderful news!!
@simcal18 Praying for your appointment to go just as well--along with all of the other appointments everyone has coming up!!
I've also been so saddened to see other people go through what we went through...lots and lots of praying this week, and we've used our Doppler four times since we got it Saturday even though we promised ourselves we'd only use it once a week. My favorite sound, and so reassuring.
My h is convinced that everything is fine and tells me he "just knows" that this pregnancy is going to work out and be okay. I love his confidence, but I am definitely not there yet.
@Pupatella - Mine does the same thing! Most days I'm grateful for his optimism, but some days I'm all "BUT YOU DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE OK!" And then I need to take a breath...
But on the topic of anxiety, all the various threads about announcements are super hard for me, too. I can't even think about announcing because I'm afraid I'll jinx things. I know I'll relax eventually (right?!) but I'm not quite there yet.
@krzyriver thanks for the insight, and I really hope you get to hear your babies heartbeat at home soon!! I'm honestly not expecting to hear it, which is why I'm thinking of going to the ultrasound place. I hope your doc uses the doppler at your appointment on the 30th!! I wish PGAL anxiety could be a valid reason too.
First sorry in advance if this is repetitive but I think the app ate half of my last post when I tried to say this.
@krzyriver@Pupatella Have your docs actually said no to moving up appts because of anxiety? I only ask bc if it were me I'd have no shame asking for that reason (and did ask for a purely peace of mind Doppler appt at 9 weeks, which they gave me). If it's the practice that got you through your PGAL experience, they might be understanding--prob not every week or anything, but they might have more flexibility than you'd think. Maybe I'm just insensitive and should care more if they think I'm dramatic, but when I was feeling really overwhelmed they totally squeezed me in the next day.
I'm with @kateleap. I was losing my mind at 5.5 weeks. I got my BFP at 8 DPO/3+1 so it seemed like I'd known forever. I wasn't going to make it 9 weeks. I called my OB office in tears and explained I was PGAL and was having terrible anxiety. They wrote me a requisition for an early US at radiology office. I seriously don't know what I would have done if I hadn't seen that embryo and heartbeat. Sometimes, the anxiety is worse for you and baby and peace of mind is physically beneficial.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
Not doing so great with the anxiety lately. Seeing the loss posts -- especially this late in the first tri -- just breaks my heart and I feel so terrible for the moms going through that. And I am terrified that the ultrasound Saturday is not going to go well. I think deep down I have some real body issues that are messing with my head and I feel like I don't "deserve" to be pregnant, or I feel that my body is too big to carry a healthy baby to term. I also think almost even more than myself, I'm so scared that I'm going to let my husband down again. He wants this baby SO badly and it would just crush him to go through another loss. I can manage my own emotions, but I just don't want to see him hurt again.
Saturday will be here soon enough and I think I'll feel much better afterward (assuming it's good news, which of course is not guaranteed). It's just feeling like a really long wait. Putting the ultrasound off until DH was home was the right decision, but him traveling these past couple of weeks hasn't made the wait easier, and at this point I'm just so ready to know either way.
DH and I: Early/mid 30s Married 7/15
TTC #1 as of 8/15
BFP 11/21/15 -- MC confirmed 12/1/15 BFP #2 2/18/16
@simcal18 Keeping my FX for wonderful news on Saturday! I know what you mean about feeling like a loss would be letting your H down. I know logically, that nothing that could go wrong would be my fault but anxiety is anything but rational.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
@kateleap I actually haven't asked. My OB has been my gyno since I was 19 and I think she's pretty used to me wanting answers. But I've had 4 US already....she's comfortable enough with me to tell me to chill the F out. And I don't really wanna hear that. Lol.
@simcal18 Have you talked to hubby about feeling like you could let him down? I've felt that way so many times and worry constantly that I'll let him down again. It always makes me feel better when I talk to him. FX for Saturday.
I hope my question didn't cause any extra anxiety for anyone. I wasn't trying to stir these feelings up, I just wanted to create an opening for you ladies to vent. I know I've needed to lately. And the thread had been kind of quiet and I was wondering how everyone was doing. Seems we're all in the same boat. *Hugs all around*
@krzyriver the anxiety and fears are already there, for me at least just saying it out loud definitely doesn't make it worse! Seeing waves of losses is super scary at this point and can set off my "omg I'm next" panic, bc it's hard not to think of my own situation even though I really do feel awful for whoever is going through it. Beyond the real-life stuff, on here I have been dreading having to post bad news and trigger stuff in others, especially those of us PGAL. Everyone seems so appropriate language-wise here but I'll just throw this out there - every time there's a loss this is one of several reactions I have....
@simcal18 after our second loss my husband was incredibly frustrated. he knew it was bc of my thyroid and was angry that our Doctor didn't notice the issue with our first loss and thus by the time our RE caught it the second time it was too late.
there was one night where he was just aggravated after my d&c and he never gets upset which made ME upset and all I remember about the argument was me saying "I'm sorry I couldn't keep your baby alive". that is a nagging feeling I've had since November when it happened.
everything is is going well as of our last appointment a week ago and I keep trying to stay positive but it really is so hard.
Thanks so much @MRSCORKER@krzyriver@mrszoess and others. I know odds are everything will be okay and that there's nothing I can do to change the outcome anyway -- I just have to get through it. I haven't really talked to DH about being worried that I'll disappoint him. He is such a sweet man and I know he'd feel terrible if he knew I felt that way, so I don't want to put that on him. DH also has some very real anxiety issues (e.g. panic attacks and other GAD). It is mostly triggered by work issues but not entirely, and so I'm trying to remain as calm and rational as I can throughout this process because I worry that if I start to freak out it may trigger a panic attack or anxiety in him. He's worked so hard to make wonderful progress with his anxiety the past couple of years and I really don't want pregnancy/the baby to become an anxiety-triggering event for him, so I'm trying to keep as level a head as possible. He was WONDERFUL with the loss and a total rock, and I want to help him keep that emotional confidence.
@mrszoess, did you have any thyroid symptoms before your losses? That's one of the things I worry about. I've had some of the symptoms of hypothyroidism (the one that concerns me the most is I'm always cold). They checked my TSH level at my first appointment and it came back at 2.99, which was within the normal range listed on the test result, but online articles seem to say that a result greater than 2.5 during pregnancy should be investigated further. They never followed up with me about it so I assumed they didn't have a problem with it, but maybe I should call and ask or at least ask about it at my appointment on April 6.
DH and I: Early/mid 30s Married 7/15
TTC #1 as of 8/15
BFP 11/21/15 -- MC confirmed 12/1/15 BFP #2 2/18/16
@simcal18 I never had any issues. my first mmc was at 5 weeks. my thyroid was at 5.9. my last mmc was at 10 but I never doubled hcg and measured very behind until then. my tsh was 7.3. before I conceived this time it was 1.7. at my first hcg draw I was at 3.4.
definitely ask. the thyroid makes me cold as hell and exhausted. I'm becoming like a champion of synthroid through this whole process.
Maybe it's just my hormones, but the past few loss posts have actually made me cry. I am so scared of feeling that pain again, and hate hearing about others going through it. I may start avoiding those posts for a bit.
My husband and I recently bought a sonoline b. We are going to try it out this weekend when we're 9 weeks. I'm hoping it will ease some of my worry, but I'm also fearful of not being able to find the heartbeat, which may cause more anxiety. My next u/s isn't for another 4 weeks...I hate having to wait that long just to hear the fate of if everything is okay.
As crazy as it sounds, I was thinking of going to one of those ultrasound places this weekend, just to make sure that everything is okay. I'm really hoping the doppler can calm me down. I've been worrying so much lately, and I think it's from the loss posts.
I'm praying that all of our babies are growing normally and are healthy with a strong heartbeat!!
I have been crying too over their losses. DH saw me with tears pouring down my face and asked me what was wrong. I read him the particular post that sent me over and was sobbing while trying to read it. Miscarriage and loss is heartbreaking. I found myself getting more anxious when reading TW posts. I don't have the right words of sympathy to share with these women. My heart goes out to them and I wish I could do something to ease their pain.
First sorry in advance if this is repetitive but I think the app ate half of my last post when I tried to say this.
@krzyriver@Pupatella Have your docs actually said no to moving up appts because of anxiety? I only ask bc if it were me I'd have no shame asking for that reason (and did ask for a purely peace of mind Doppler appt at 9 weeks, which they gave me). If it's the practice that got you through your PGAL experience, they might be understanding--prob not every week or anything, but they might have more flexibility than you'd think. Maybe I'm just insensitive and should care more if they think I'm dramatic, but when I was feeling really overwhelmed they totally squeezed me in the next day.
Hi @kateleap ! My doctor actually told me to call if I wanted to come in for a viability check earlier. She is super understanding!! I am so lucky I found her practice, as she was so comforting during our loss. I've already been in for 2 u/s's very early in this pregnancy. The issue is my current schedule. I am a tax accountant, and this is my busy season. It's really difficult for me to fit in a weekday appointment until post 4/15. But, I may just need to bite the bullet and fit it in if my anxiety stays high. At least being very busy everyday helps the days pass faster!!
@simcal18 You deserve this pregnancy, and you deserve a healthy baby!! Period. I will be watching for an update from you on Saturday, and I can't wait to see good news!!
@jillianpardo I'm glad it's not just me. It is just so heartbreaking, and I also fear that I will be next. I'm going to avoid the loss posts for at least a month. I've never made it this far into a pregnancy before, and being so close to the "safety" of the second trimester has only made me more fearful.
Question for you ladies that have used the sonoline b.
I am working from home today, and decided to try the doppler. I was able to find the sound of the placenta pretty quickly (I have watched so many youtube videos and am glad I know the sound difference!!). Then I was holding the probe closer to the center of my stomach (but very close to the pubic bone) and I swear I heard the heartbeat for about 5 seconds as the baby swam by. I left the doppler there for another couple of minutes and heard the same sound a few more times but only for a few seconds each time. What confuses me is that the sonoline b didn't register what I am convinced was the heartbeat, as a heartbeat, so I have no clue how fast it was. Is this normal in really early pregnancy? It definitely sounded like the galloping noise the youtube videos show.
In the youtube videos I have watched, the sonoline b picks up the heartbeat sound and gives a reading of bpm. I tried the doppler on my own heartbeat and it definitely picks it up pretty quickly.
Now I'm stumped, but at least I feel a lot better right now.
@Pupatella - I've only used mine twice but I've never been able to hear the heartbeat for long enough to see the BPM. The first time was 10 weeks, the second was 11. I had an ultrasound today at 12 weeks 1 day and the heart rate was fine. I wouldn't worry too much about it.
@Pupatella - I've only used mine twice but I've never been able to hear the heartbeat for long enough to see the BPM. The first time was 10 weeks, the second was 11. I had an ultrasound today at 12 weeks 1 day and the heart rate was fine. I wouldn't worry too much about it.
I also found this youtube video, and the sonoline b didn't register the heartbeat in early pregnancy, even though you can hear it. Just in case anyone else is experiencing this same thing: https://youtu.be/4dALHaOEklo
@Pupatella - I've only used mine twice but I've never been able to hear the heartbeat for long enough to see the BPM. The first time was 10 weeks, the second was 11. I had an ultrasound today at 12 weeks 1 day and the heart rate was fine. I wouldn't worry too much about it.
I also found this youtube video, and the sonoline b didn't register the heartbeat in early pregnancy, even though you can hear it. Just in case anyone else is experiencing this same thing: https://youtu.be/4dALHaOEklo
I've had the opposite issue. The Doppler picks up a 150ish for a few seconds, but we don't hear anything.
My anxiety is at an all time high. I just had two friends have missed miscarriages.
It's been 2 weeks since my last ultrasound and I'm starting to go crazy. Finally caved and called my doctor's office, who said they could maybe try and squeeze me in for an ultrasound if I really need it, but it's hard to schedule things within 2 weeks. I declined because I don't want to take the spot from someone who really needs it.
Honestly I'm tempted to just go to one of those boutique places and pay out of pocket. A friend of mine knows a place that does it for $50. Ugh. I hate PGAL anxiety.
So today did not start out well. I had an incredibly realistic, incredibly vivid dream early this morning that I had the ultrasound and it showed the baby had stopped growing at 7 weeks and had no heartbeat. It was so real that it took me a few minutes after waking up to realize the ultrasound hadn't happened yet. Then I got a stomach cramp that I was convinced was bad news until I farted and it went away (which is funny now but wasn't funny then). I wound up crying in bed while DH tried to reassure me that whatever the outcome we were in it together.
But we went and did the ultrasound this afternoon, and it showed one beautiful fetus measuring EXACTLY where I thought it would be date wise (thanks FAM!), and one beautiful, flickering heartbeat. We didn't hear the heartbeat or get a heartbeat measurement, but it was there, and as far as the doc was concerned it was all good news. I know we're not out of the woods yet, but I feel incredibly happy and relieved, and like I can breathe for a little while. We may even tell parents tomorrow as an Easter surprise. Thanks so much for all of the support -- it's more helpful than you know.
DH and I: Early/mid 30s Married 7/15
TTC #1 as of 8/15
BFP 11/21/15 -- MC confirmed 12/1/15 BFP #2 2/18/16
Re: PGAL check-in **3/21**
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
Married 7/15
BFP #2 2/18/16
Married 7/15
BFP #2 2/18/16
Hows everyone feeling? Looks like we had another little wave of losses. I hope everyone's anxiety is under control. *Hugs*
TTC#2: BFP: 8-23-15 MMC: 10-29-15
DD 2: 9-15-16
DD 3: 9-16-17
My anxiety is definitely high. My appointment is next Wednesday and it'll have been a month since my last where I was put on progesterone pills because it was so low. Seeing all these losses makes me so upset. I know how heartbroken these ladies must be. I bought a used fetal Doppler yesterday because I thought it would help my anxiety and nope. I'm 11 weeks and couldn't find the heartbeat after 2 hours worth of trying. Now I just feel worse. I wish October would hurry up and get here so we can all have these beautiful babies in our arms!
im with y'all on the loss news. It breaks my heart to hear that other people may join a PGAL board in the future--the club no one wants to be part of.
i FINALLY picked up baby's beautiful heartbeat on the Doppler last night. It was amazing and definitely helped me relax.
me 28 (Lean PCOS, hypothyroid)
dh 33
TTC #1 since early 2011
May 2011- natural pregnancy (metformin only); m/c @ 9 weeks + D&C
July 2011- lap to remove dermoid cyst
August 2012-current- 9 rounds of Clomid, 1 cycle of Femara, several cycles of soy isos, 1 IUI, O'd every cycle, BFN
August 2014- lap to remove uterine septum. Everything else looking good.
Moving onto IVF Feb/March 2016 Just kidding. Natural bfp 1/30/16. 1st beta 2/1 = 110. 2nd beta 2/3 = 332.
First ultrasound 2/19 - one baby with a heart rate of 127! EDD 10/11/2016
My husband and I recently bought a sonoline b. We are going to try it out this weekend when we're 9 weeks. I'm hoping it will ease some of my worry, but I'm also fearful of not being able to find the heartbeat, which may cause more anxiety. My next u/s isn't for another 4 weeks...I hate having to wait that long just to hear the fate of if everything is okay.
As crazy as it sounds, I was thinking of going to one of those ultrasound places this weekend, just to make sure that everything is okay. I'm really hoping the doppler can calm me down. I've been worrying so much lately, and I think it's from the loss posts.
I'm praying that all of our babies are growing normally and are healthy with a strong heartbeat!!
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
I have an appt on the 30th that I don't need. My doctor told me not to cancel it just in case I need it. I'm really tempted to go....but I don't think she'll use the Doppler without reason. I don't know if PGAL anxiety is a real reason. Lol
My h is convinced that everything is fine and tells me he "just knows" that this pregnancy is going to work out and be okay. I love his confidence, but I am definitely not there yet.
I've also been so saddened to see other people go through what we went through...lots and lots of praying this week, and we've used our Doppler four times since we got it Saturday even though we promised ourselves we'd only use it once a week. My favorite sound, and so reassuring.
But on the topic of anxiety, all the various threads about announcements are super hard for me, too. I can't even think about announcing because I'm afraid I'll jinx things. I know I'll relax eventually (right?!) but I'm not quite there yet.
@krzyriver @Pupatella Have your docs actually said no to moving up appts because of anxiety? I only ask bc if it were me I'd have no shame asking for that reason (and did ask for a purely peace of mind Doppler appt at 9 weeks, which they gave me). If it's the practice that got you through your PGAL experience, they might be understanding--prob not every week or anything, but they might have more flexibility than you'd think. Maybe I'm just insensitive and should care more if they think I'm dramatic, but when I was feeling really overwhelmed they totally squeezed me in the next day.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
Not doing so great with the anxiety lately. Seeing the loss posts -- especially this late in the first tri -- just breaks my heart and I feel so terrible for the moms going through that. And I am terrified that the ultrasound Saturday is not going to go well. I think deep down I have some real body issues that are messing with my head and I feel like I don't "deserve" to be pregnant, or I feel that my body is too big to carry a healthy baby to term. I also think almost even more than myself, I'm so scared that I'm going to let my husband down again. He wants this baby SO badly and it would just crush him to go through another loss. I can manage my own emotions, but I just don't want to see him hurt again.
Saturday will be here soon enough and I think I'll feel much better afterward (assuming it's good news, which of course is not guaranteed). It's just feeling like a really long wait. Putting the ultrasound off until DH was home was the right decision, but him traveling these past couple of weeks hasn't made the wait easier, and at this point I'm just so ready to know either way.
Married 7/15
BFP #2 2/18/16
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
@simcal18 Have you talked to hubby about feeling like you could let him down? I've felt that way so many times and worry constantly that I'll let him down again. It always makes me feel better when I talk to him. FX for Saturday.
I hope my question didn't cause any extra anxiety for anyone. I wasn't trying to stir these feelings up, I just wanted to create an opening for you ladies to vent. I know I've needed to lately. And the thread had been kind of quiet and I was wondering how everyone was doing. Seems we're all in the same boat. *Hugs all around*
there was one night where he was just aggravated after my d&c and he never gets upset which made ME upset and all I remember about the argument was me saying "I'm sorry I couldn't keep your baby alive". that is a nagging feeling I've had since November when it happened.
everything is is going well as of our last appointment a week ago and I keep trying to stay positive but it really is so hard.
@mrszoess, did you have any thyroid symptoms before your losses? That's one of the things I worry about. I've had some of the symptoms of hypothyroidism (the one that concerns me the most is I'm always cold). They checked my TSH level at my first appointment and it came back at 2.99, which was within the normal range listed on the test result, but online articles seem to say that a result greater than 2.5 during pregnancy should be investigated further. They never followed up with me about it so I assumed they didn't have a problem with it, but maybe I should call and ask or at least ask about it at my appointment on April 6.
Married 7/15
BFP #2 2/18/16
definitely ask. the thyroid makes me cold as hell and exhausted. I'm becoming like a champion of synthroid through this whole process.
O16 April Siggy
I am working from home today, and decided to try the doppler. I was able to find the sound of the placenta pretty quickly (I have watched so many youtube videos and am glad I know the sound difference!!). Then I was holding the probe closer to the center of my stomach (but very close to the pubic bone) and I swear I heard the heartbeat for about 5 seconds as the baby swam by. I left the doppler there for another couple of minutes and heard the same sound a few more times but only for a few seconds each time. What confuses me is that the sonoline b didn't register what I am convinced was the heartbeat, as a heartbeat, so I have no clue how fast it was. Is this normal in really early pregnancy? It definitely sounded like the galloping noise the youtube videos show.
In the youtube videos I have watched, the sonoline b picks up the heartbeat sound and gives a reading of bpm. I tried the doppler on my own heartbeat and it definitely picks it up pretty quickly.
Now I'm stumped, but at least I feel a lot better right now.
I also found this youtube video, and the sonoline b didn't register the heartbeat in early pregnancy, even though you can hear it. Just in case anyone else is experiencing this same thing:
It's been 2 weeks since my last ultrasound and I'm starting to go crazy. Finally caved and called my doctor's office, who said they could maybe try and squeeze me in for an ultrasound if I really need it, but it's hard to schedule things within 2 weeks. I declined because I don't want to take the spot from someone who really needs it.
Honestly I'm tempted to just go to one of those boutique places and pay out of pocket. A friend of mine knows a place that does it for $50. Ugh. I hate PGAL anxiety.
But we went and did the ultrasound this afternoon, and it showed one beautiful fetus measuring EXACTLY where I thought it would be date wise (thanks FAM!), and one beautiful, flickering heartbeat. We didn't hear the heartbeat or get a heartbeat measurement, but it was there, and as far as the doc was concerned it was all good news. I know we're not out of the woods yet, but I feel incredibly happy and relieved, and like I can breathe for a little while. We may even tell parents tomorrow as an Easter surprise. Thanks so much for all of the support -- it's more helpful than you know.
Married 7/15
BFP #2 2/18/16
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16