I think The first few weeks are easier than the second or third month. In the beginning no one expects anything of you. Then all of a sudden you're supposed to go back to real life. And that's when it gets hard
Yes to all of this ^^^ the first two weeks my hubby was home, my in laws were there helping, and people brought us over dinner. I thought hey this isn't bad at all! Then all of a sudden everyone leaves and you have to figure out how to take a shower, how to go get groceries, how to take a nap when there is no one to keep an eye on the baby. That's when the real fun begins haha so if you have people offer help in the beginning, TAKE IT!! If people want to bring you meals stretch it out.. In a couple of weeks you will be on your own.
Agree that the first six weeks or so were pretty easy for us. She slept and ate and that was it. Even though she was up every few hours she would go back to sleep. The 2-4 month period was the hardest. That's when all the growth spurts and sleep regressions start. we also had a little trouble around 6-7 months, but everything was grand once she was old enough to sleep train. Obviously that is just our experience, but the 4 month sleep regression is no joke.
@runningisrad- it's funny just how different everybody is and her experience. I found the first few weeks to be pure bliss. I was just walking on a cloud, ready to have another baby immediately, life could not be better.
Fast forward to about 2 months and I started getting really overwhelmed with it all, and started battling a lot of post-partum anxiety (without realizing it). I got help around 4 months and was calm and confident again by 5-6 months.. but those few months in between I would never sugar coat. I feared that I would never be myself again and felt like I was just not a person who ever should have had a child.
I feel you on the postpartum anxiety. I had it and PPD but didn't realize it until much later. Basically the first year of my daughter's life, I was just a hot mess.
Same here. I worry about that this time around. I don't want to "lose" any time with this baby (and DD now, too) like I did when I was in my fog with DD. I don't know what, if anything, I can do to 'prevent' PPD this time around but I hope just being aware puts me a step ahead.
I remember after my oldest was born I was very moody and depressed. It didn't last long enough to be a serious problem but I was usually very very angry at my husband for absolutely no reason. One day he made me so angry that I was seeing. What'd he do? He brought me a glass of water while I was nursing the baby. Exactly how I liked it, in my favorite glass with ice cubes. It was then that I realized I would have a problem if I didn't pull myself out of the funk. That time, switching the baby to formula was the key. I was able to get out of the house more often. After my next babies were born I was more aware of it. Which helped. I also talked to DH about it and we agreed that I needed space sometimes. So he'd hold the baby while I napped or messed around on facebook or whatever in the other room. I also ate a lot of chocolate.
Agree that the first six weeks or so were pretty easy for us. She slept and ate and that was it. Even though she was up every few hours she would go back to sleep. The 2-4 month period was the hardest. That's when all the growth spurts and sleep regressions start. we also had a little trouble around 6-7 months, but everything was grand once she was old enough to sleep train. Obviously that is just our experience, but the 4 month sleep regression is no joke.
Mmmhhhhmnmmm!!
Married 6-1-13 Sebastian 3-11-14 Simon 5-2-15 Baby #3 Due 9-29-16
I think part of what made my experience so hard was that immediately after our daughter was born (I'm talking the next day), my husband had to start the job he had just gotten... Which was working as a correctional officer at a jail. That meant 12-hour overnight shifts (7 PM to 7 AM), so I was alone all the time. During the day he had to sleep, and he was gone at night. I was very sad, very lonely, and felt like no one understood. This time will be much different for us. He has a different job and is actually planning on taking 1-2 weeks off in the beginning.
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
@runningisrad my husband had to go back to work right away with our first 2. For our second he had to leave right after she was born. He left while they were weighing and measuring her. For our 3rd he was able to take 2 weeks off and it was great. He took care of meals, housework, and did everything with the bigger kids. All I had to do was feed baby and sleep.
I'm not doing a home birth but I am going drug free (I had a severe back injury years ago that screwed up the nerves and such in my lower spine. I should be ok for a regular birth but the Epi could be pretty dangerous for me). I am a FTM as well and pretty nervous about no meds...
I'm absolutely terrified of the lack of sleep. I know so many out there who say "sleep when the baby sleeps," but I have an added conundrum - I'm a cochlear implant user. Which means that I can't hear the baby fuss or cry if I'm sleeping and I just don't know if I'll feel safe sleeping if I'm the only one home with the baby. Does anyone know any mother's with severe hearing loss? I'd love to connect with someone and ask a billion questions!
@PoodleDoodleOoo sorry to hear your in this situation! My monitor has a "silent" setting where it vibrates every time LO makes noise. It's a vtech and was fairly inexpensive for a non-wifi video monitor ($99). Here is a pic
My DH will most likely take 2 weeks off again. I am terrified for what will happen after. Hopefully my stepmom (who just retired) will be able to come and help me as needed. We also just got a huge extra freezer so I need to start making meals stat!
Has anyone eaten a lot of sugar and sweets during your pregnancy and passed the GD test? I am trying to get my sweets consumption under control but doing horribly right now with all of the Easter candy and Girl Scout cookies everywhere. Has anyone been surprised to pass the GD test after all of their sugar consumption?
Married: 3/21/15 First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
Has anyone eaten a lot of sugar and sweets during your pregnancy and passed the GD test? I am trying to get my sweets consumption under control but doing horribly right now with all of the Easter candy and Girl Scout cookies everywhere. Has anyone been surprised to pass the GD test after all of their sugar consumption?
I ate terribly. Pretty much whatever I wanted and I loved sweets. I gained 50lbs and didn't get GD. I think you are just genetically disposed one way or the other.. Same as stretch marks. You can do everything under the sun right, but some people will be more prone than others. Hopefully you won't have to worry about it! Not saying it's right to eat junk, but most likely you didn't give yourself GD.. You just have it!
@blondie080300 I agree with Beachmama. You're going to have it or you won't. You don't develop it from eating too much sugar/carbs or lack of exercise. It has more to do with how your body is producing and absorbing insulin during pregnancy.
@blondie080300 I agree with Beachmama. You're going to have it or you won't. You don't develop it from eating too much sugar/carbs or lack of exercise. It has more to do with how your body is producing and absorbing insulin during pregnancy.
Agreed. That being said, I probably would watch your sugar intake the day before and morning of. I've heard of people walking in to take the test with an iced coffee in hand and wondering why they didn't pass an hour later. It just set them up for the 3 hour test, which no one wants to take.
@JennM205- being in a fog for my 2 year old is what I really fear. I know my son was fine and unaware of my lack of connection during my struggles, but it wouldn't be easy to hide from a 2 year old. That scares me, I'll be seeking medication earlier if I feel the need for it.
@Blondie080300 - I ate all carbs my last pregnancy and failed the first test. I passed the 3 hour test but still monitored by sugar/carbs after that. The test is how well your body responds to large amounts of glucose, so eating more sweets now is unlikely to make a huge difference... the issue would be if you are having a hard time managing that glucose already without knowing it. Try to cut back a bit, but you certainly aren't dooming yourself for failing the test!
@LeahKnits paging @lovelylauren86 regarding the freezer meals question. How long do they usually last for you? I know you mentioned this in a previous thread. Last time I made lasagna in March and we ate it through November and are still here to tell the story. I was thinking of starting small with soups (since it will be fall) and working my way up to portioned meals to freeze. Like pp's have said, I don't want to be cooking up a storm once the hot summer weather hits.
@AnnaS930 If you don't mind my asking, did you take medication for your PPA? I started medication around three months PP but was extremely limited in my options because I was BFing. My doctor had me on Sertraline which helped with the PPD / PPA but made me insanely tired! I literally could barely get out of bed and out the door in the morning and then would drive to work half asleep, park my car in the parking garage and take a 20 minute nap before going to my desk. It was insane. DH was up with DD every weekend because I just couldn't do it - and he resented me for it. After I stopped BFing, my doctor switched me to Escitalopram which helped minimally. I finally had had enough so I weaned myself off of it and had terrible side effects while "coming down" for over a month! I'm terrified of PPD and PPA but also terrified of medication now. I know counseling is always an option but can take ages to see results, which is part of the reason why I elected not to pursue that last time.
Side note: I may have the two meds mixed up as to which I took while BFing and which after, I can't remember for sure.
@JennM205- those sound right in terms of breastfeeding.
Yes, I took sertraline (Zoloft for those unfamiliar) as well. I titrated myself up pretty slowly and also saw a counselor once a week for just a few weeks (I was noticeably better within 2 weeks of starting the meds and didn't really need her coping methods as much). My biggest issue was the anxiety was making me nauseous, so I wasn't eating.. and the hunger was also making me nauseous, so it was a vicious cycle that had me dropping weight (a pound or two a day). Once I was able to start forcing myself to eat (A Boost and poptarts for breakfast, lots of juice/protein shakes - any way I could get calories in) I started to feel a little better.
Coming down off of the Zoloft was hard.. I titrated down and felt like I had been hit by a bus (constantly dizzy and just yucky, but I felt like myself mentally so I knew it was worth the efforts). It's pretty typical to have a hard time coming off of SSRIs. And while on the med, the exhaustion wasn't too bad (don't get me wrong.. I was TIRED), but because I was doing something to get better, I felt better... if that makes sense. It was hope, it was a light at the end of the tunnel. So I would go right back on it if needed.
@JennM205 personally I would start seeing a counselor ASAP just to voice your concern regarding this and to form a relationship with them. As pp's have mentioned, there are ones that specialize in postpartum and would know the right path to your recovery. My insurance 100% covers mine and she allows me to bring DS if I don't have any care for him. I strongly advise it as she has gotten me through so much ! Good luck to you!!
@RedMar I don't have a deep freeze, just the regular fridge/freezer combo. Which might make a difference.
We should have a freezer meals thread. I am hoping to get a small chest freezer and completely fill it with easy to reheat foods. My husband was home for 2 weeks after our last baby was born and he took care of all the food. We ate a lot of microwaved chicken nuggets. Which was fine. But y'know. Kinda boring after 2 weeks.
@AnnaS930 Thanks for sharing your story. I'm really, really glad the medication helped you so quickly and that you're able to look back now and feel it was worth it because it helped you get back to yourself. That's what it's there for, right!?
@RedMar Thanks for your input as well. When we were first starting to think about getting pregnant and when I first became pregnant, I thought about PPD and how it affected me last time. My opinion at the time was to just see how things went, take it one day at a time, share my previous experience with those close to me (I hid it from my family and friends) so they could be my support system. That seemed like a fine plan. But with as much as this has been weighing on my mind lately, I think seeing a counselor and being more proactive now would help a lot. I'm currently under DH's insurance and he's going to be switching jobs in under a month so we'll be switching insurance too. For that reason, I was going to wait to see what and which providers are covered by the new insurance before starting anything. But I'm ready so I hope I can get that ball rolling soon! Also - how awesome that your insurance covered your counselor 100% and they allowed you to bring DS! That sounds like an amazing support system - I only hope I can be as fortunate!
@JennM205 I know how hard it is and plan to see mine much more frequent this time around. She even offers me to call her whenever I'm feeling down (another perk of having a relationship with them.) In addition, ask your OB because they may be able to refer you to someone within their practice that accepts a wide range of insurance.
@JennM205exactly. It was way too early for the medication to start physically working in my system, but the effort to feel better and know I was getting help was instant relief. Like - I'm going to be ok. Other people know how low I'm feeling now, I don't have to pretend everything is ok, because soon it will be. And it was.
@JennM205- Also, after reading your last response. My insurance did not cover a counselor, so I paid something like $75/per hour session, and went maybe 3 times, two weeks in a row then a couple weeks later. It helped just to have someone so understanding and to remind me that there wasn't a perfect answer to be found every time a baby cried.. and sometimes you just have to hold them and let it happen. I specifically went home from an appointment to a baby in his witching hour and told my husband "i'll take him.. it's ok" and I swaddled him up and just walked around and around the house. I didn't panic, I didn't try to find out why (there was nothing obviously wrong with him) and I think Emmett could feel my calmness and helped bring him back down. It was a really good boost of confidence to not spiral into a panic.
My first son came 10 days early so I took the 2 weeks leading up to my due date off, of course baby 2 was 2 days late. I used the time and made freezer meals which was so helpful. We also invested in a Foodsaver, makes things last so much longer. I recommend buying one to anyone, especially if u shop at Costco.
I had PP anxiety with my second, it didn't start until he was 7 months old and lasted 5 months. I didn't realize it was PP initially bc it didn't hit right away. Most miserable 5 months of my life. I'm stubborn and I didn't take anything, partly bc I was still nursing and didn't want it to be in my milk. I eventually got over it. I'm hoping it doesn't happen this time and since I'm aware of it now I think that will help. I had never had anxiety or depression before...it's no joke, and much more than "just a bad day".
So I have one for probably the 2 times or more moms. I'm like 13 weeks with my second LO. I had a relatively uncomplicated, pretty healthy first pregnancy. Gained a lot of weight in the third trimester and kind of continued to. There were several factors that helped it along but long story short, I have more around the middle with this one if you know what I mean hah. However I went for my first 'OB' appointment with my midwife and they couldn't find the heartbeat. She tried for awhile and checked out my cervix (all good) checked out as much as she could and everything seemed fine. I previously had a dating US and an NT which both were all good and HB was good. I'm not SUPER worried because I know I feel pregnant all the time. (Having done it before hah) So I have two questions, I've heard of this happening sometimes just curious if anyone has any stories/reassurance (I won't have another appointment for a month and I'll be honest sometimes I let things get to me even though right now I feel good) And the second part of my question, any moms who maybe had more in the middle like myself still feel like you can feel baby moving around? Even at like 13 weeks? The last week or so I really feel like I've been feeling LO (also why I'm not too worried) it feels just like my DS did. Around 15 weeks I started to really feel him. So just looking for some experiences from you ladies if you don't mind :-)
@raduprey I'm also 13 weeks. I just had an appointment yesterday and it took her a few very long minutes to find babies HB. When she did the little tike was moving all around. Maybe your LO kept moving too? When it had been taking a little while the midwife mentioned we would have the option to have an ultra sound of we couldn't find the HB. I wonder if you could to that? I'm pretty little and I haven't felt any movement. Even when she said the baby was moving. I've seen plenty of moms on here with there second or third baby who don't feel movement anywhere from 15-20 weeks. Thats so nerve wracking! Even when they couldn't find the HB for just a couple minutes I was thinking like you. "Well I know I feel super pregnant" it's hard not to fear the worst. I hope you get peace of mind soon
Married 6-1-13 Sebastian 3-11-14 Simon 5-2-15 Baby #3 Due 9-29-16
mhilpisch10 Yeah I mean I suppose its possible hah Lord knows my son was a mover. I mean she asked if I was ok and I said yeah cause well I just felt good and I still do kind of. I wish I had tried to ask for an US but for some reason when something unexpected happens I often default to 'Sure no problem here' which there isn't really, more just weird I suppose. I have no reason to suspect that her not being able to find the heartbeat was a bad sign for this baby. No weird cramps, no weird spotting, no premonitions, no nothing so I'm just trying to be patient. It's technically still 'early' so I'm trying to keep perspective. Thanks for the encouragement tho :-)
@raduprey I actually ordered a Doppler on Groupon for $40. With my first pregnancy I rented one from a site online for $20 for 3-4 months. It helped me keep my peace of mind. I'm 13 weeks and it can take a few minutes to find the heartbeat. It is nerve wracking but remember that baby is moving around in there, so he can be hard to catch. Also depending on where your placenta is located, it could be blocking him until he's a little bigger.
I'm also 13 weeks and just had an appointment this week. I'm not obese, but I'm also not tiny. Dr said at 13 weeks they're still really little and move around a lot so it can be difficult to "catch" them on the doppler. She finally did find the HB after a few minutes of searching, and when she did it was much higher than I expected it to be. Dr was searching low, down by/below my pelvic bone, but it was actually almost as high as my belly button.
I 100% understand your concern, but try to stay positive. I'm sure everything is ok. I know I'll feel much better once I feel baby moving; I think we all will. FWIW - This is baby #3 for me and I can't feel anything yet.
@raduprey- I tend to be the same way, just go with the flow act like everything's ok, then it starts to weigh on my mind. No harm in calling back and telling them exactly that "Hey, I had an appointment and doppler didn't work out - I thought I'd be good to wait for next time but I can't seem to get it off my mind. Any chance I could get in sooner for another try and/or a quick ultrasound?" But of course - up to you!
OK thank you all! I really appreciate all the support, seriously! A week after the appointment and honestly I still feel great. I feel like baby/my abdomen had a growth spurt Monday night and can really actually feel my balance being off a little when I sit/stand. I currently can't really afford an 'extra' app so I'm just paying attention to my body and that seems like all is well. I'm also just trying to trust God with it as its out of my hands no matter what. Regardless at 14 weeks now I definitely feel like I can feel this baby moving! However it seems higher than I expected which would explain why HB was harder to find. I have one kind of larger roll lol right where baby seems to be chilling more often than not. Anyway haha thanks again all. I'm feeling really confident and really excited. I feel like this is a girl but I have to wait until the first week of May to find out. I hope everybody is doing good!!!
So DH and I went and looked at cribs last night. We fell in love with the wooden ones but I worry that as LO grows, he/she may chew on the crib and leave teeth marks. If we go with a convertible, that means they will have to deal with teeth marks on their bed for the rest of their use of it. Lol. Does this happen or am I just being paranoid? I was surprised at just how many cribs are made of such gorgeous, soft wood.
Married: 3/21/15 First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
@RedMar I just saw your post about freezer meals. 6 months is about as long as I like to let things sit in the deep freeze. I'm going to start in July most likely. I will do probably 1 freezer meal a week so it's not overwhelming.
So DH and I went and looked at cribs last night. We fell in love with the wooden ones but I worry that as LO grows, he/she may chew on the crib and leave teeth marks. If we go with a convertible, that means they will have to deal with teeth marks on their bed for the rest of their use of it. Lol. Does this happen or am I just being paranoid? I was surprised at just how many cribs are made of such gorgeous, soft wood.
Yes LO will eat the crib. You can point out how silly they were later in life
So DH and I went and looked at cribs last night. We fell in love with the wooden ones but I worry that as LO grows, he/she may chew on the crib and leave teeth marks. If we go with a convertible, that means they will have to deal with teeth marks on their bed for the rest of their use of it. Lol. Does this happen or am I just being paranoid? I was surprised at just how many cribs are made of such gorgeous, soft wood.
This is why we went with an Ikea crib (its solid wood as well). It is convertible,sturdy, highly rated and I really think it looks nice. The great thing is it was only $120. We also got an Ikea dress for only $150. This way if and when LO bites/breaks/spills on it, it's not a big deal.
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #2 since January 2018
Baby #1 DD Born 8/25/2016 BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
@blondie080300 we went with a convertible target crib. But my daughter was only in it for about three years. Switched from crib to toddler bed. She's currently in a new twin bed (built by my husband!) as we need the crib for new baby.
So DH and I went and looked at cribs last night. We fell in love with the wooden ones but I worry that as LO grows, he/she may chew on the crib and leave teeth marks. If we go with a convertible, that means they will have to deal with teeth marks on their bed for the rest of their use of it. Lol. Does this happen or am I just being paranoid? I was surprised at just how many cribs are made of such gorgeous, soft wood.
I don't post on here much (don't have time to be consistent with my two other little ones!) but just wanted to chime in here. We have a wooden crib we've used for both of our first two and will use for this one. Our first one (girl) never chewed on anything. But our second (boy) chewed like a beaver! There are definitely tiny little teeth marks in sets of 2, where those first two teeth came in, all over the crib rail. Maybe it's weird, but we personally love it. It's such a tangible 'keepsake' and I think it adds character. Again, I might be alone in that - and I tend to be super sentimental - but I think it's cute . And I think you'd have a really hard time finding a crib not made out of wood .
Re: Ask a BTDT mom
After my next babies were born I was more aware of it. Which helped. I also talked to DH about it and we agreed that I needed space sometimes. So he'd hold the baby while I napped or messed around on facebook or whatever in the other room. I also ate a lot of chocolate.
Sebastian 3-11-14
Simon 5-2-15
Baby #3 Due 9-29-16
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
@Blondie080300 - I ate all carbs my last pregnancy and failed the first test. I passed the 3 hour test but still monitored by sugar/carbs after that. The test is how well your body responds to large amounts of glucose, so eating more sweets now is unlikely to make a huge difference... the issue would be if you are having a hard time managing that glucose already without knowing it. Try to cut back a bit, but you certainly aren't dooming yourself for failing the test!
Side note: I may have the two meds mixed up as to which I took while BFing and which after, I can't remember for sure.
Yes, I took sertraline (Zoloft for those unfamiliar) as well. I titrated myself up pretty slowly and also saw a counselor once a week for just a few weeks (I was noticeably better within 2 weeks of starting the meds and didn't really need her coping methods as much). My biggest issue was the anxiety was making me nauseous, so I wasn't eating.. and the hunger was also making me nauseous, so it was a vicious cycle that had me dropping weight (a pound or two a day). Once I was able to start forcing myself to eat (A Boost and poptarts for breakfast, lots of juice/protein shakes - any way I could get calories in) I started to feel a little better.
Coming down off of the Zoloft was hard.. I titrated down and felt like I had been hit by a bus (constantly dizzy and just yucky, but I felt like myself mentally so I knew it was worth the efforts). It's pretty typical to have a hard time coming off of SSRIs. And while on the med, the exhaustion wasn't too bad (don't get me wrong.. I was TIRED), but because I was doing something to get better, I felt better... if that makes sense. It was hope, it was a light at the end of the tunnel. So I would go right back on it if needed.
We should have a freezer meals thread. I am hoping to get a small chest freezer and completely fill it with easy to reheat foods. My husband was home for 2 weeks after our last baby was born and he took care of all the food. We ate a lot of microwaved chicken nuggets. Which was fine. But y'know. Kinda boring after 2 weeks.
@RedMar Thanks for your input as well. When we were first starting to think about getting pregnant and when I first became pregnant, I thought about PPD and how it affected me last time. My opinion at the time was to just see how things went, take it one day at a time, share my previous experience with those close to me (I hid it from my family and friends) so they could be my support system. That seemed like a fine plan. But with as much as this has been weighing on my mind lately, I think seeing a counselor and being more proactive now would help a lot. I'm currently under DH's insurance and he's going to be switching jobs in under a month so we'll be switching insurance too. For that reason, I was going to wait to see what and which providers are covered by the new insurance before starting anything. But I'm ready so I hope I can get that ball rolling soon! Also - how awesome that your insurance covered your counselor 100% and they allowed you to bring DS! That sounds like an amazing support system - I only hope I can be as fortunate!
I had PP anxiety with my second, it didn't start until he was 7 months old and lasted 5 months. I didn't realize it was PP initially bc it didn't hit right away. Most miserable 5 months of my life. I'm stubborn and I didn't take anything, partly bc I was still nursing and didn't want it to be in my milk. I eventually got over it. I'm hoping it doesn't happen this time and since I'm aware of it now I think that will help. I had never had anxiety or depression before...it's no joke, and much more than "just a bad day".
I'm pretty little and I haven't felt any movement. Even when she said the baby was moving. I've seen plenty of moms on here with there second or third baby who don't feel movement anywhere from 15-20 weeks.
Thats so nerve wracking! Even when they couldn't find the HB for just a couple minutes I was thinking like you. "Well I know I feel super pregnant" it's hard not to fear the worst. I hope you get peace of mind soon
Sebastian 3-11-14
Simon 5-2-15
Baby #3 Due 9-29-16
Sebastian 3-11-14
Simon 5-2-15
Baby #3 Due 9-29-16
I 100% understand your concern, but try to stay positive. I'm sure everything is ok. I know I'll feel much better once I feel baby moving; I think we all will. FWIW - This is baby #3 for me and I can't feel anything yet.
First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
I just saw your post about freezer meals. 6 months is about as long as I like to let things sit in the deep freeze. I'm going to start in July most likely. I will do probably 1 freezer meal a week so it's not overwhelming.
BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18