Yes @MynaBird, I don't get it. I'd be so uncomfortable if people made cracks about my breasts. I already had to shut one guy down b/c he kept making cracks about my size! (Not that I'm overweight, but I'm still self conscious about getting bigger.) I think the next person to say something inappropriate will find themselves on the receiving end of rude comments (I mean, if we are talking about appearances, I can find suggestions for those that speak before they think.)
Well, apparently I am the rude one for voicing my discomfort with random touching, wouldn't you think it would be the other way around???
So last night I went to dinner with my parents & aunt/uncle. At the table next to us was a woman who used to cut my hair (when I was in high school, and I haven't seen her since). Well she comes over to say hello (my mom & aunt still get their hair done by her) and I'm sitting at the table eating my dinner. I say hello & nice to see her and she proceeds to pull my cardigan back & say she wants to see my belly (let me repeat I'm seated trying to enjoy my family dinner & I haven't seen this woman in well over a decade & even then it was as a hairdresser/client- not a friendship!) so I kind of back away & pull my sweater closed and she says oh come on I want to "feel your belly" and I said "oh I don't really like to be touched" so she looked put off & then she leaves...my mom & aunt proceed to tell me that I was offensive to her & she was just being nice... Ummm I'm sorry it's offensive to me to be randomly groped by near strangers?! My dad & sister defended me thankfully saying I had every right to feel weird about that... I asked my mom what she did when people did that to her & she said she hated it but just let them grab her belly... Sorry no, I speak up.
Well, apparently I am the rude one for voicing my discomfort with random touching, wouldn't you think it would be the other way around???
So last night I went to dinner with my parents & aunt/uncle. At the table next to us was a woman who used to cut my hair (when I was in high school, and I haven't seen her since). Well she comes over to say hello (my mom & aunt still get their hair done by her) and I'm sitting at the table eating my dinner. I say hello & nice to see her and she proceeds to pull my cardigan back & say she wants to see my belly (let me repeat I'm seated trying to enjoy my family dinner & I haven't seen this woman in well over a decade & even then it was as a hairdresser/client- not a friendship!) so I kind of back away & pull my sweater closed and she says oh come on I want to "feel your belly" and I said "oh I don't really like to be touched" so she looked put off & then she leaves...my mom & aunt proceed to tell me that I was offensive to her & she was just being nice... Ummm I'm sorry it's offensive to me to be randomly groped by near strangers?! My dad & sister defended me thankfully saying I had every right to feel weird about that... I asked my mom what she did when people did that to her & she said she hated it but just let them grab her belly... Sorry no, I speak up.
Good for you! I HATE it when people touch my belly so it always makes me so happy to hear about someone speaking up about it.
This thread is awesome. I completely agree and can commiserate with so many posts. The ones that really stand out... The "just you wait"s the comments about how big I'm getting and especially the comments about how much my boobs have grown. Ugh.
Also when I told my aunt, who I have a bad relationship with, that I was pregnant, she asked if it was planned. I got offended and told her so. She didn't get why it bothered me. When I started to explain and said, "you asked me if it was an accident..." She interrupted saying "I didn't asked if it was an accident, I asked if it was planned..." What the fuck lady?! You might think those are different things but if it wasn't planned that would make it an accident. She wouldn't accept that and kept insisting they were two different things.
@MsBeachNJ Good for you! Stand up for yourself! Why she thought it was ok to move your cardigan to try and touch you is beyond me. Your mom and aunt were wrong. You shouldn't just let people grope you in order to not hurt their feelings! That's so backwards.
I started a whole slew of family drama by not announcing that I went to L&D the other night.
I told H, obviously. I told my cousin because I go to her house to watch TGIT and couldn't and I told my mom so she didn't hear through the grapevine from my cousin. I asked everyone to please keep quiet until I had more information.
My mom slipped the next day and mentioned it to my aunt after my cousin had told her I was just busy and couldn't come over. So now, everyone (aunt, Mom, other aunt/grandparents that now know) is mad at me because I'm being "secretive" and "inconsiderate" of other people's feelings.
I just didn't want anyone to worry. I wouldn't announce if I went to the doctor to check on a cough... why is getting something potentially routine checked out any different just because I'm pregnant!?!
I started a whole slew of family drama by not announcing that I went to L&D the other night.
I told H, obviously. I told my cousin because I go to her house to watch TGIT and couldn't and I told my mom so she didn't hear through the grapevine from my cousin. I asked everyone to please keep quiet until I had more information.
My mom slipped the next day and mentioned it to my aunt after my cousin had told her I was just busy and couldn't come over. So now, everyone (aunt, Mom, other aunt/grandparents that now know) is mad at me because I'm being "secretive" and "inconsiderate" of other people's feelings.
I just didn't want anyone to worry. I wouldn't announce if I went to the doctor to check on a cough... why is getting something potentially routine checked out any different just because I'm pregnant!?!
Because it's their baby too, duh!
I totally agree- I went once like 3 weeks ago and only told my parents. Baby is good, I'm good. Why the need to talk about it?
I started a whole slew of family drama by not announcing that I went to L&D the other night.
I told H, obviously. I told my cousin because I go to her house to watch TGIT and couldn't and I told my mom so she didn't hear through the grapevine from my cousin. I asked everyone to please keep quiet until I had more information.
My mom slipped the next day and mentioned it to my aunt after my cousin had told her I was just busy and couldn't come over. So now, everyone (aunt, Mom, other aunt/grandparents that now know) is mad at me because I'm being "secretive" and "inconsiderate" of other people's feelings.
I just didn't want anyone to worry. I wouldn't announce if I went to the doctor to check on a cough... why is getting something potentially routine checked out any different just because I'm pregnant!?!
Because it's their baby too, duh!
I totally agree- I went once like 3 weeks ago and only told my parents. Baby is good, I'm good. Why the need to talk about it?
I hear that!!! My hubby's family is like that. We get middle of the night text chains about minor stuff for people in his family all the time. I definitely don't tell anyone in his family anything I don't want anyone else to know instantly lol. Where as in my family apparently my out of state aunt and uncle just found out I was pregnant this week lol.
I just didn't want anyone to worry. I wouldn't announce if I went to the doctor to check on a cough... why is getting something potentially routine checked out any different just because I'm pregnant!?!
Because it's their baby too, duh!
I totally agree- I went once like 3 weeks ago and only told my parents. Baby is good, I'm good. Why the need to talk about it?
I swear people actually believe this. That like the babies actually belong to them. First of all, humans belong to themselves. Second of all, these babies are in OUR bellies!
Resurrecting this thread because I have to share what happened to me last night.
I am the Head of Human Resources for my company and I hold a mandatory orientation for all new employees weekly to go over paperwork, learn policies & procedures, etc. The session begins with a woman who works for me going over the necessary tax forms etc, and then I come in to present for the next 2 hours. Well last night as I walked in, (while the other woman was still presenting to a room of 14 people) one of the attendees in the session looks at me across the room and says loudly "You look great, you're having a boy right?" I look at her shocked because a) I've never seen this person before so how can she know what I usually look like, or that I'm definitely pregnant, b) this is a professional setting and another person is presenting yet she feels the need to interrupt the whole class so that now everyone is looking at me c) this is not the good first impression you'd like to give the head of HR, by making comments on someones body in a work setting. So I just say, oh I don't know what I'm having, and I motion to the other woman to continue her presentation. As she wraps up, and I begin presenting, this woman continues to make comments across the entire room/diverting everyone's attention "the baby has already dropped, looks like its getting into position" - let me remind you I am standing in front of the room of 14 people, now who I know are uncomfortably staring at my body... I just wanted to crawl out the window. I tried to ignore her comments best I could and keep presenting but this went on for the full 2 hours. At the end of the session, she says to me "Oh and if I don't see you have a wonderful Labor! I'm a Doula, that's how I know so much about pregnancy". Umm great lady. You're not a Doula here, you're not MY Doula, and one would think that if you have so much experience with pregnant women you'd know that not everyone is comfortable with that level of analysis/critique of their figure, particularly in a room full of men & women in a professional setting. I was so mad.
@candicek15 it was one of those, am I being punked or is this really happening situations, like I had 0 idea how to react because I was soooo uncomfortable she was making me crazy!
@MsBeachNJ: Wow, can you fire her for being an idiot? How stupid, clueless, and tactless do you have to be to behave that way to the head of HR, at work, at a new employee orientation?!?!
@MsBeachNJ - Honestly, the gall of that women astounds me. Kudos to you for being professional about it but I probably would have said something along the lines of "You know, starting your career here commenting on a woman's body who happens to be a stranger to you and WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE THE HEAD OF HR is probably not the best career move". But I'm a bitch sometimes.
@MsBeachNJ - Honestly, the gall of that women astounds me. Kudos to you for being professional about it but I probably would have said something along the lines of "You know, starting your career here commenting on a woman's body who happens to be a stranger to you and WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE THE HEAD OF HR is probably not the best career move". But I'm a bitch sometimes.
----TRAPPED!---
Would have been well-deserved. I wouldn't consider that bitchy at all, just helpful career-advice
@MsBeachNJ - Honestly, the gall of that women astounds me. Kudos to you for being professional about it but I probably would have said something along the lines of "You know, starting your career here commenting on a woman's body who happens to be a stranger to you and WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE THE HEAD OF HR is probably not the best career move". But I'm a bitch sometimes.
----TRAPPED!---
Would have been well-deserved. I wouldn't consider that bitchy at all, just helpful career-advice
100% agree with these ladies. You exhibited excellent restraint. She was super inappropriate. Makes me wonder how often she finds herself in new hire training....
@MsBeachNJ - Honestly, the gall of that women astounds me. Kudos to you for being professional about it but I probably would have said something along the lines of "You know, starting your career here commenting on a woman's body who happens to be a stranger to you and WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE THE HEAD OF HR is probably not the best career move". But I'm a bitch sometimes.
----TRAPPED!---
Would have been well-deserved. I wouldn't consider that bitchy at all, just helpful career-advice
100% agree with these ladies. You exhibited excellent restraint. She was super inappropriate. Makes me wonder how often she finds herself in new hire training....
Thanks for the support ladies! I think I was just too much in shock to actually react to her... because believe me I came up with all sorts of responses in my head later in the night as I recounted the story to DH! People really are crazy.
Could have inserted a point or two about commenting on a person's looks and basic etiquette while someone is speaking because she obviously missed that in kindergarten
Resurrecting this thread because I have to share what happened to me last night.
I am the Head of Human Resources for my company and I hold a mandatory orientation for all new employees weekly to go over paperwork, learn policies & procedures, etc. The session begins with a woman who works for me going over the necessary tax forms etc, and then I come in to present for the next 2 hours. Well last night as I walked in, (while the other woman was still presenting to a room of 14 people) one of the attendees in the session looks at me across the room and says loudly "You look great, you're having a boy right?" I look at her shocked because a) I've never seen this person before so how can she know what I usually look like, or that I'm definitely pregnant, b) this is a professional setting and another person is presenting yet she feels the need to interrupt the whole class so that now everyone is looking at me c) this is not the good first impression you'd like to give the head of HR, by making comments on someones body in a work setting. So I just say, oh I don't know what I'm having, and I motion to the other woman to continue her presentation. As she wraps up, and I begin presenting, this woman continues to make comments across the entire room/diverting everyone's attention "the baby has already dropped, looks like its getting into position" - let me remind you I am standing in front of the room of 14 people, now who I know are uncomfortably staring at my body... I just wanted to crawl out the window. I tried to ignore her comments best I could and keep presenting but this went on for the full 2 hours. At the end of the session, she says to me "Oh and if I don't see you have a wonderful Labor! I'm a Doula, that's how I know so much about pregnancy". Umm great lady. You're not a Doula here, you're not MY Doula, and one would think that if you have so much experience with pregnant women you'd know that not everyone is comfortable with that level of analysis/critique of their figure, particularly in a room full of men & women in a professional setting. I was so mad.
Great first impression: Creating a Hostile Work Environment in offense of the Pregnancy Discrimination Act.
"Although pregnancy-based harassment may come from the employee’s supervisor, it may also be committed by a co-worker or even a customer. Pregnancy-based sexual harassment can be committed by men, women, or both. Unwelcome conduct may still be harassment if it comes from a woman, even if she is also a mother who has experienced pregnancy herself. Also, a discrimination lawsuit may be filed by anyone affected by the harassment, not just its target.
Harassment may include inappropriate comments about the employee’s body or physical condition, questions or comments about the employee’s sexual activity or use of birth control, comments about the employee’s work performance after becoming pregnant, or insinuations that the employee should take leave or will not return to work. It is important to remember that discrimination is prohibited not just when based on pregnancy itself, but also on childbirth and related medical conditions. Thus, harassment based on miscarriage, abortion, or breastfeeding is also prohibited under the law."
We should just refer all shitheads to @palisson. "Excuse me, Tool, but I'd like you to speak with our resident BMB lawyer extraordinaire."
Also- an older female co-worker just asked to touch my bump (while mid reach of course). I nodded Bc she's just said I was carrying it incredibly well and flattery will get you everywhere. But then she TICKLED MY UNDERBOOB. I was horrified and stepped back quickly mumbling he was sleeping/not moving and she said, "oh no, I felt him move." Um no, weirdo, that was my underwire as I recoiled in abject horror.
So...Shes a doula.. and she just got hired at your place of business. Shes obviously not a working doula because shes no longer able to be on call if shes now working for your company. She cant be leaving because a women went into labor so I would be very skeptical on whether or not shes actually a doula. Therefore making the whole thing IMO even weirder because its more likely shes just really into childbirth education without the life experience because she should have known better. If you were really into studying skin rashes or diseases on the side you wouldn't interrupt the class to talk about the skin of the person presenting, and if you were a weight loss coach you probably wouldnt interrupt the class to confront the presenter about their weight. So i am really confused on why this lady thought it was appropriate. It seems like she just got excited to see a real life pregnant woman and lost her mind.
We should just refer all shitheads to @palisson. "Excuse me, Tool, but I'd like you to speak with our resident BMB lawyer extraordinaire."
Also- an older female co-worker just asked to touch my bump (while mid reach of course). I nodded Bc she's just said I was carrying it incredibly well and flattery will get you everywhere. But then she TICKLED MY UNDERBOOB. I was horrified and stepped back quickly mumbling he was sleeping/not moving and she said, "oh no, I felt him move." Um no, weirdo, that was my underwire as I recoiled in abject horror.
I had three annoying occurrences in the last 2 days and I need to share.
1) An employee who works downstairs and who I already dislike because she has made it plain to many people that she doesn't think I'm qualified for my job, came up to me and was asking a bunch of questions. First she commented on how big I am, second, asked why I hadn't told anyone what I'm having yet (I actually had, I just didn't send out a newsletter to the company on something that is really no one's concern) and lastly she goes, "it seems like you've been pregnant FOREVER, did you find out early or something??" I'm sorry if I'm upsetting your regularly scheduled programming by being pregnant, but believe it or not, I will only be pregnant for the same gestation period as every single other woman in the history of humankind.
2) The constant "well you've got three months yet, June is a long way away" comments in regards to my beign uncomfortable, same as all of you PPs
3) Another girl that works downstairs and whom I've never spoken with, came up and asked if I had a tampon. I just said "I'm sorry, I don't, I haven't kept them on me since I've been pregnant" and she was so put out about it. How about since your uterus is still currently bleeding, you carry your own tampons and don't get mad at me for not supplying you with one, especially since this is one of the few perks of being pregnant?!
Also- an older female co-worker just asked to touch my bump (while mid reach of course). I nodded Bc she's just said I was carrying it incredibly well and flattery will get you everywhere. But then she TICKLED MY UNDERBOOB. I was horrified and stepped back quickly mumbling he was sleeping/not moving and she said, "oh no, I felt him move." Um no, weirdo, that was my underwire as I recoiled in abject horror.
We should just refer all shitheads to @palisson. "Excuse me, Tool, but I'd like you to speak with our resident BMB lawyer extraordinaire."
Also- an older female co-worker just asked to touch my bump (while mid reach of course). I nodded Bc she's just said I was carrying it incredibly well and flattery will get you everywhere. But then she TICKLED MY UNDERBOOB. I was horrified and stepped back quickly mumbling he was sleeping/not moving and she said, "oh no, I felt him move." Um no, weirdo, that was my underwire as I recoiled in abject horror.
Ok, it seems the Bitches In Need Of A Slap count is up to 2 today. It's still relatively early in the day. Shall we go higher?
I have another one! My male cousin, a few years younger than me, with whom I get along with pretty well, was here last weekend. He made to touch me (with both hands as if to "cup" my belly). I recoiled and asked him not to, and stepped back. "I just want to touch my nephew" he said. I said no again and then H jumped in and said "you aren't touching him, you are touching her." I looked at H with *sparkly eyes* Then he wanted to hug my belly, which I was like, I guess, b/c he wouldn't have his hands on me. Still a bit off, but not as much as before. I'm seriously considering buying a "do not touch" shirt. I mean, after I said no, please stop. Don't keep advancing on me! @_@ I am not a dog! And if I was, I'd be the one that hates to be touched and would try to bite you! But seriously, what is it with ppl commenting on size, wanting to touch me?!? Creeps me out and makes me want to hide at home...
And I wanted to say I am sorry for how rude that new hire was @MsBeachNJ . And what was that lady thinking @HBamama2B, no boob touchage, of any kind! I would have gone into panic mode!
I have another one! My male cousin, a few years younger than me, with whom I get along with pretty well, was here last weekend. He made to touch me (with both hands as if to "cup" my belly). I recoiled and asked him not to, and stepped back. "I just want to touch my nephew" he said. I said no again and then H jumped in and said "you aren't touching him, you are touching her." I looked at H with *sparkly eyes* Then he wanted to hug my belly, which I was like, I guess, b/c he wouldn't have his hands on me. Still a bit off, but not as much as before. I'm seriously considering buying a "do not touch" shirt. I mean, after I said no, please stop. Don't keep advancing on me! @_@ I am not a dog! And if I was, I'd be the one that hates to be touched and would try to bite you! But seriously, what is it with ppl commenting on size, wanting to touch me?!? Creeps me out and makes me want to hide at home...
@HBMama2B WHAT she TOUCHED YOUR BOOB? I can't even anymore. I think for the third trimester we should all be allowed to be sequestered because seriously people can't handle being around pregnant women without losing their damn minds.
I have one!! I was at Bath and Body Works yesterday, minding my own business of course, and this older man--maybe 70? Said "how much longer ya got?" So I replied with "about 2 months" (due the 8th) and he responds with "Oh my goodness, hes going to be huge! You may have yourself a future linebacker!"
I don't get to comment on your weight sir, so why do you ge to comment on mine? If he would have tried to touch me I think I would have dropped my shopping bag and ran. Next time someone does that to me I'm going to comment on their physical appearance.
Honestly, @MsBeachNJ, she's probably lucky you were the head of HR and not a coworker, just because you're not going to complain to the head of HR and require a response. Last month I fired a brand-new hire after less than a week on the job because by his third or fourth day, he had made so many inappropriate remarks to the woman at the next desk that she had complained to her manager twice. He apparently thought he was being funny and friendly. Some people are just spectacular idiots.
I keep getting people asking where I plan on giving birth and when I say a birth center with no drugs or IVs, I get one of three responses. A: (the good one) "oh wow good for you, I could never do that" B: them looking at me like I have two heads because of my apparently super hippie ways or whatever. And C: "Oh boy! Hahaha I can't wait to hear how aweful it was!! Well good luck cause your gonna feel like you're being turned inside out!" .......
@HBMama2B WHAT she TOUCHED YOUR BOOB? I can't even anymore. I think for the third trimester we should all be allowed to be sequestered because seriously people can't handle being around pregnant women without losing their damn minds.
She TICKLED my boob! It was the most awkward thing ever. Who does that? Even on my belly had her aim been (I hope) more accurate, why the fuck would you tickle my belly?!?! Why why why? Ewww! If you had asked may I tickle you, of course I would say no. She took three fingers and waggled them against the crease between my bra and skin. What the? The baby is no where near there! And no crazy bat shit psycho over-toucher, you did not feel him kick. Neither he nor I liked you (makes sign of cross with fingers)
I can't even with these people. Like can you human?
@MsBeachNJ are you going to have a conversation with that woman about how inappropriate that was? Not only were her comments unacceptable no matter the circumstances, the fact that she was interrupting the presentation as well ON HER FIRST DAY!
I would say my company is extremely lax on swearing (not at people, just in general there are definitely "know your audience" conversations. But even that would be over the line for my company.
It was like you were on a sitcom or something. Can't make that shit up.
@huskypuppy14 yes, I didn't want to have it then & there in front of other new staff but I will be meeting with her 1:1 to advise that it isn't appropriate to comment on anyone's bodies at any time in the workplace, pregnant or not... Dreading it though because I really don't want to see her again!!!
@huskypuppy14 yes, I didn't want to have it then & there in front of other new staff but I will be meeting with her 1:1 to advise that it isn't appropriate to comment on anyone's bodies at any time in the workplace, pregnant or not... Dreading it though because I really don't want to see her again!!!
@huskypuppy14 yes, I didn't want to have it then & there in front of other new staff but I will be meeting with her 1:1 to advise that it isn't appropriate to comment on anyone's bodies at any time in the workplace, pregnant or not... Dreading it though because I really don't want to see her again!!!
@huskypuppy14 yes, I didn't want to have it then & there in front of other new staff but I will be meeting with her 1:1 to advise that it isn't appropriate to comment on anyone's bodies at any time in the workplace, pregnant or not... Dreading it though because I really don't want to see her again!!!
Wow. Wish I could be a fly on the wall in a miniature cheerleader outfit for this. I'd buzz and waive pompoms for you.
Re: People are strange. When you're.... pregnant.
So last night I went to dinner with my parents & aunt/uncle. At the table next to us was a woman who used to cut my hair (when I was in high school, and I haven't seen her since). Well she comes over to say hello (my mom & aunt still get their hair done by her) and I'm sitting at the table eating my dinner. I say hello & nice to see her and she proceeds to pull my cardigan back & say she wants to see my belly (let me repeat I'm seated trying to enjoy my family dinner & I haven't seen this woman in well over a decade & even then it was as a hairdresser/client- not a friendship!) so I kind of back away & pull my sweater closed and she says oh come on I want to "feel your belly" and I said "oh I don't really like to be touched" so she looked put off & then she leaves...my mom & aunt proceed to tell me that I was offensive to her & she was just being nice... Ummm I'm sorry it's offensive to me to be randomly groped by near strangers?! My dad & sister defended me thankfully saying I had every right to feel weird about that... I asked my mom what she did when people did that to her & she said she hated it but just let them grab her belly... Sorry no, I speak up.
Also when I told my aunt, who I have a bad relationship with, that I was pregnant, she asked if it was planned. I got offended and told her so. She didn't get why it bothered me. When I started to explain and said, "you asked me if it was an accident..." She interrupted saying "I didn't asked if it was an accident, I asked if it was planned..." What the fuck lady?! You might think those are different things but if it wasn't planned that would make it an accident. She wouldn't accept that and kept insisting they were two different things.
I told H, obviously. I told my cousin because I go to her house to watch TGIT and couldn't and I told my mom so she didn't hear through the grapevine from my cousin. I asked everyone to please keep quiet until I had more information.
My mom slipped the next day and mentioned it to my aunt after my cousin had told her I was just busy and couldn't come over. So now, everyone (aunt, Mom, other aunt/grandparents that now know) is mad at me because I'm being "secretive" and "inconsiderate" of other people's feelings.
I just didn't want anyone to worry. I wouldn't announce if I went to the doctor to check on a cough... why is getting something potentially routine checked out any different just because I'm pregnant!?!
I totally agree- I went once like 3 weeks ago and only told my parents. Baby is good, I'm good. Why the need to talk about it?
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
I am the Head of Human Resources for my company and I hold a mandatory orientation for all new employees weekly to go over paperwork, learn policies & procedures, etc. The session begins with a woman who works for me going over the necessary tax forms etc, and then I come in to present for the next 2 hours. Well last night as I walked in, (while the other woman was still presenting to a room of 14 people) one of the attendees in the session looks at me across the room and says loudly "You look great, you're having a boy right?" I look at her shocked because a) I've never seen this person before so how can she know what I usually look like, or that I'm definitely pregnant, b) this is a professional setting and another person is presenting yet she feels the need to interrupt the whole class so that now everyone is looking at me c) this is not the good first impression you'd like to give the head of HR, by making comments on someones body in a work setting. So I just say, oh I don't know what I'm having, and I motion to the other woman to continue her presentation. As she wraps up, and I begin presenting, this woman continues to make comments across the entire room/diverting everyone's attention "the baby has already dropped, looks like its getting into position" - let me remind you I am standing in front of the room of 14 people, now who I know are uncomfortably staring at my body... I just wanted to crawl out the window. I tried to ignore her comments best I could and keep presenting but this went on for the full 2 hours. At the end of the session, she says to me "Oh and if I don't see you have a wonderful Labor! I'm a Doula, that's how I know so much about pregnancy". Umm great lady. You're not a Doula here, you're not MY Doula, and one would think that if you have so much experience with pregnant women you'd know that not everyone is comfortable with that level of analysis/critique of their figure, particularly in a room full of men & women in a professional setting. I was so mad.
I'm sorry that happened to you!
"Although pregnancy-based harassment may come from the employee’s supervisor, it may also be committed by a co-worker or even a customer. Pregnancy-based sexual harassment can be committed by men, women, or both. Unwelcome conduct may still be harassment if it comes from a woman, even if she is also a mother who has experienced pregnancy herself. Also, a discrimination lawsuit may be filed by anyone affected by the harassment, not just its target.
Harassment may include inappropriate comments about the employee’s body or physical condition, questions or comments about the employee’s sexual activity or use of birth control, comments about the employee’s work performance after becoming pregnant, or insinuations that the employee should take leave or will not return to work. It is important to remember that discrimination is prohibited not just when based on pregnancy itself, but also on childbirth and related medical conditions. Thus, harassment based on miscarriage, abortion, or breastfeeding is also prohibited under the law."
Also- an older female co-worker just asked to touch my bump (while mid reach of course). I nodded Bc she's just said I was carrying it incredibly well and flattery will get you everywhere. But then she TICKLED MY UNDERBOOB. I was horrified and stepped back quickly mumbling he was sleeping/not moving and she said, "oh no, I felt him move." Um no, weirdo, that was my underwire as I recoiled in abject horror.
I had three annoying occurrences in the last 2 days and I need to share.
1) An employee who works downstairs and who I already dislike because she has made it plain to many people that she doesn't think I'm qualified for my job, came up to me and was asking a bunch of questions. First she commented on how big I am, second, asked why I hadn't told anyone what I'm having yet (I actually had, I just didn't send out a newsletter to the company on something that is really no one's concern) and lastly she goes, "it seems like you've been pregnant FOREVER, did you find out early or something??" I'm sorry if I'm upsetting your regularly scheduled programming by being pregnant, but believe it or not, I will only be pregnant for the same gestation period as every single other woman in the history of humankind.
2) The constant "well you've got three months yet, June is a long way away" comments in regards to my beign uncomfortable, same as all of you PPs
3) Another girl that works downstairs and whom I've never spoken with, came up and asked if I had a tampon. I just said "I'm sorry, I don't, I haven't kept them on me since I've been pregnant" and she was so put out about it. How about since your uterus is still currently bleeding, you carry your own tampons and don't get mad at me for not supplying you with one, especially since this is one of the few perks of being pregnant?!
Ok, it seems the Bitches In Need Of A Slap count is up to 2 today. It's still relatively early in the day. Shall we go higher?
And I wanted to say I am sorry for how rude that new hire was @MsBeachNJ . And what was that lady thinking @HBamama2B, no boob touchage, of any kind! I would have gone into panic mode!
https://www.amazon.com/Jokertshirt-Pregnant-Petting-Funny-Preggers/dp/B01A5YOVKA
I don't get to comment on your weight sir, so why do you ge to comment on mine? If he would have tried to touch me I think I would have dropped my shopping bag and ran. Next time someone does that to me I'm going to comment on their physical appearance.
@MsBeachNJ are you going to have a conversation with that woman about how inappropriate that was? Not only were her comments unacceptable no matter the circumstances, the fact that she was interrupting the presentation as well ON HER FIRST DAY!
I would say my company is extremely lax on swearing (not at people, just in general there are definitely "know your audience" conversations. But even that would be over the line for my company.
It was like you were on a sitcom or something. Can't make that shit up.