August 2016 Moms

Randoms 3/21-3/27

edited March 2016 in August 2016 Moms
I was super upset last night. DH and I plan on moving to Charlotte, NC sometime next winter (aiming for January), and I just know it's going to devastate my mother. This baby boy is going to be her first grandchild, and she loves him so much already. She know that DH and I have discussed moving down there (MUCH lower COL and DH's parents and sister + her family all live down there and love it), but she doesn't know quite how soon we plan on moving. I broached the subject with her yesterday, and she just went silent, so I moved on. 

I feel like a shitty daughter, even though I know this will be the right move for my family :-(
Me: 28
DH: 31
Married: May 2015
1 Furbaby
BFP 11/27/15
EDD 8/4/16



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Re: Randoms 3/21-3/27

  • @Hummingbird125 hey girl hey, I live right outside of Charlotte. I can totally understand where you're coming from I couldn't imagine moving away from my parents and taking their grandkids away, then again my kids are the only grandkids they have right now. Sometimes you've got to do what's right for your family. 
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  • @Lynnlove28 - this will be my mom's first grandchild, and probably the only she'll have for a long time (I'm the oldest, and my two sisters are not married yet). Ughhh. It just sucks. Logically, I know this will be the right move for us, and I'm really excited to live somewhere new (I've lived in NY my whole life, other than college), and I'm even generally okay with leaving behind most of our friends - but it's my mom that's the tough part. 
    Me: 28
    DH: 31
    Married: May 2015
    1 Furbaby
    BFP 11/27/15
    EDD 8/4/16



  • @Hummingbird125 DH and I have discussed a move like that so many times. We love in southern CT (about 45m from NYC) and COL is insane. The thought of being able to move south and afford a beautiful home and a better life for our kids is so tempting. I've discussed this option with my mom and she has been less than thrilled but I'm sure if it came down to it she would understand. Maybe letting your mom know how challenging this decision has been and all the reasons you are doing it might help?  I'm sure it will still be upsetting, but right now she may not fully understand all of your reasons and may think your choosing DH's family over them because she doesn't see the other pro's. I'm sorry it's been so challenging but you are not a bad daughter for wanting to provide the best life for your kids! I'm actually really envious of your taking the plunge!



  • FremdschamenFremdschamen member
    edited March 2016
    @Hummingbird125 I know it is hard, but I admire you for doing what is best for your family.  FWIW, we made a very similar move after I finished law school.  My entire family lives in western Canada (BC), and we moved across the country to Ontario.  The COL is much better here, I have a stable, well-paying job, and DH is finishing his PhD at a great school, with a local job lined up when he finishes.  I miss my family a ton, and I know my parents wish they could spend more time with my DD, but they completely understand why we moved. 

    If we had tried to stay in the west, I would either be paid significantly less, or the same, but with a much higher COL.  We've made great friends here and don't plan to move in the foreseeable future.  My parents come out about twice a year and we go back to visit them about once every 12-18 months.  It can be hard without any relatives nearby (DH's parents live in eastern Canada), but we make it work.

    BFP #1: 08/17/2012  DD1 born 05/01/2013

    BFP #2: 07/31/2015  M/C 09/23/2015 (11.5 weeks)

    BFP #3: 12/16/2015 DD2 born 8/27/2016
  • @Hummingbird125 DH and I made this move 4 years ago. We moved over 7,000 miles away. While we didn't have kids at the time it was tough but something that we decided would be best for our future.
    Now, we are having our first child and always thought we would move back home but once again have decided staying out here is the best decision for us. My parents first grandchild will be born across the world basically. 

    At this point we aren't sure when we will be moving back to the states and I completely understand the tough conversation you are having with your family. While it's so hard to see them upset and knowing that we are causing them to feel upset, we always come back to, this is the life that we have planned for ourselves. We want the best for our future kids and staying where we are provides that. I used to really struggle with feeling like I was being selfish, but I've realized it's just not the case. My mom would react very similarly and kind of go silent so it will probably be a conversation you'll have to have a few times.
    But ultimately I firmly believe you should do what's best for you and DH. 
  • I was just talking to one of my former students (he's a senior in college), and he asked if I started feeling sick one morning and was like "oh shit I'm pregnant...".... I told him no, we planned it.  I'm married, 30, have one baby, and wanted another...  So funny to see the perception of pregnancy to college students who are in no way looking for a baby right now.
    hahahaha, I've been asked this too! 
    Me: 28
    DH: 31
    Married: May 2015
    1 Furbaby
    BFP 11/27/15
    EDD 8/4/16



  • @Allisun85 Thanks for the update! Glad to hear no surgery is required.
    Pregnancy Ticker

  • I have been having some serious rlp at night. It gets so bad that it wakes me up. I try to move in all different positions but the only thing that relieves the pain at all is sleeping on my back. I know this is a no-no so I am going to see if I can order a wedge for my belly and see if that helps.
  • @jamiesc58 I have the same trouble, I wedge a pillow under half of my back so I'm still comfortable but not completely laying flat. Although I still haven't figured out how to sleep yet without little toddler feet kicking me in the back by the time morning rolls around. 

    My random is DHs work schedule changed so I had to reschedule my doctors appointment, it was next Monday but now it's this Wednesday! It's my anatomy scan too so I'm pretty stoked. We already know we are having a girl but we didn't get very clear pictures so it'll be nice to have that reassurance and make sure that baby is growing and forming properly!
  • It is so hard to think about work.  All I can focus on is Friday when we have our anatomy scan.  I have projects I need to be working on but I get so distracted and think, "I will pick those up next week." 

    Come Monday, it will be something else!

  • @Hannah0726 HAHA! That gif is perfect!
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @Allisun85 yay for no surgery!!



  • I got a snoogle body pillow for my birthday (it's Friday) and I can not wait to try it! It came in the mail today and I swear I could fit in the box. :)
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @Allisun85 Glad to hear it's not appendicitis and no surgery! 

    I have my anatomy scan Thursday afternoon and I just scheduled a prenatal massage for Friday afternoon. Very excited for both but the next few days of work are going to drag!
  • Apparently the norovirus is going around really bad in my area and DD hasn't been able to keep anything down for about 2 hours now. Poor baby, I hate when she's sick. Also FX I don't catch what she has!
  • I'm in a similar situation. I was recently laid off, and I am interviewing for a position in Pinehurst, NC this week. It is about 13 hours from where my parents live and right now I am an hour and a half away. I am super close to them, and this is their first grandchild as well. I mean nothing is set in stone, obviously, I don't even have an offer for the position. But, I am feeling some anxiety about it. 
  • I thought work was going to let me work part time (teach two classes+ one planning period) next year, but they just can't make it work with the department scheduling needs. They did say they could do .6 TE (for the teachers out there), which would be teaching three classes with one planning period. The pay difference is virtually nothing. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if we can swing the timing with the child care we have lined up (MIL and SIL, both of whom work regular jobs in addition). 

    Time to get creative! I wish we had enough income that I could stay at home, but two teachers=careful budgeting and not much extra. 
  • @Hummingbird125 It's a very tough decision but it is important to do what's best for you, DH and your family. We moved when our first was a year old and it was very tough on my mom, she had done two days a week of care with him when I went back to work.  But, she completely understands why we needed to move and makes an effort to see him (it's a 3.5 hour drive) almost monthly, if we aren't going there. My in-laws are a totally different story but if they don't put the effort in, it's hard to reciprocate.  Do what's best for you guys, if you aren't happy it's hard to raise a happy child.
    BabyFruit Ticker


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I absolutely love strawberries! I could eat them every day! I cannot wait until they come into season here in Michigan again!
  • jamiesc58 said:
    I absolutely love strawberries! I could eat them every day! I cannot wait until they come into season here in Michigan again!
    Yes! I have eaten strawberries almost every single day of this pregnancy! Mostly on my cereal every morning! It's funny because that was what my MIL ate non stop when she was pregnant with H (and H and baby both have August Birthdays!)


    Me - 33; DH - 33
    Dating 1/18/06
    Married 9/21/13
    BFP #1 12/15/15 - C Born 8/27/16
    BFP #2 1/10/20 - EDD 9/8/20

      BabyFruit Ticker




  • I am now up to 3 dreams that we are having a baby boy and last night was my first dream that we are having a baby girl! Since I am due at the end of August I am still one of the few that doesn't know! 17 more days!


    Me - 33; DH - 33
    Dating 1/18/06
    Married 9/21/13
    BFP #1 12/15/15 - C Born 8/27/16
    BFP #2 1/10/20 - EDD 9/8/20

      BabyFruit Ticker




  • @Bubblegum5586 I had my very first baby dream last night and the nurse in it told me I am having a boy. My dh has had multiple baby dreams and in his, the baby is always a girl. We don't find out until April 5th. 2 weeks from today!!!
  • jamiesc58 said:
    I absolutely love strawberries! I could eat them every day! I cannot wait until they come into season here in Michigan again!
    Yes! I have eaten strawberries almost every single day of this pregnancy! Mostly on my cereal every morning! It's funny because that was what my MIL ate non stop when she was pregnant with H (and H and baby both have August Birthdays!)
    Me too! I've been so happy they have been on sale at the grocery store lately!
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I was just talking to one of my former students (he's a senior in college), and he asked if I started feeling sick one morning and was like "oh shit I'm pregnant...".... I told him no, we planned it.  I'm married, 30, have one baby, and wanted another...  So funny to see the perception of pregnancy to college students who are in no way looking for a baby right now.
    I remember being around that age and taking a pregnancy test in a sheer panic due to a late period, and thinking, "Isn't it crazy that some women buy these and and actually hope for it to turn positive? And that that could be me one day?" It was mind blowing at the time. 
  • I went next door for lunch this afternoon to grab something to take back to work.  I ordered a sandwich and picked up a small (like $2) side salad and a bag of pretzels.  The lady at the cash register looked down at my order and said "well, someone's hungry today."  I'm pretty sure that I shot her a death stare after that. 

    BabyFruit Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker






  • Baby won't let me sleep on my back anymore; I naturally turned to the side and slept but I guess it took a toll on my leg that was carrying majority of the weight. I woke up today and could not even walk on my right leg (slept on my right). My right hip bone also hurts so I'm really uncomfortable right now :( 
  • @Fremdschamen I've been looking for a good sale on a sit and stand for when this LO comes, I'm going to have to check out Costco! I always forget that they sell things like that. 



  • @Alikay20 Get a snoogle. It's worth the money... really. 



  • DH is sound asleep, snoring loudly, and of course I'm wide awake. I can smell coffee scent coming from his pores, I swear. I might have to try to sleep on the couch. :neutral: 

    ...Or I'll go get a 3 AM snack and just face the wall to sleep. 
  • What is with DH's and their snoring?! Mine was out of control last night but I've been waking him with my coughing so much the last few days that I only nudged him to move once. 



  • When there is nothing on tv I find myself watching QVC or HSN. I never buy anything but I find myself wishing I had their hosting jobs. All you have to say is "this is a look that you can take from day to evening". 
  • @Bookhousegirl Check online-- they didn't have the stroller in store, but they have a bunch of baby stuff online. :)

    BFP #1: 08/17/2012  DD1 born 05/01/2013

    BFP #2: 07/31/2015  M/C 09/23/2015 (11.5 weeks)

    BFP #3: 12/16/2015 DD2 born 8/27/2016
  • @Lynnlove28 That's crazy!  Did you get a good look this time?  Also, does your elective place have a refund policy if they are wrong? 

    BFP #1: 08/17/2012  DD1 born 05/01/2013

    BFP #2: 07/31/2015  M/C 09/23/2015 (11.5 weeks)

    BFP #3: 12/16/2015 DD2 born 8/27/2016
  • @Fremdschamen I'm going to call them later and ask. We got a very good look this time, there is no doubt that this baby is a boy, I'm honestly not sure how the elective place missed it. 
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