Baby staying in hospital room vs nursery

blaf322 · March 2016

Have any mamas had one LO stay in the room with them after birth and another go to the hospital nursery? Is the nursery worth using?
I stayed with a friend at the hoapital years ago after she had her LO and thought that her sending the baby to the nursery meant she'd get decent sleep, with the exception of feedings. Nope... The nurses were constantly in and out... Which made me wonder if using the nursery is really worth it.

FYI- I know this is super premature but it came up with DH and I during a convo about upping our insurance during open enrollment so we pay less OOP for copays and the hospital stay. I remember hearing that the nursery is expensive to use and just wondering about others' experiences.

ammetko04 · March 2016

We had our son stay in our room with us. Not for a particular reason, i just really wanted him with us. The nurses were in and out quite a bit. It was like they were always asking about him eating and checking me. I still felt like I got adequate sleep.

BoyMom44 · March 2016

I've never heard of anyone paying extra to send their baby to the nursery.

ejmo68 · March 2016

We sent our DD to the nursery and it was great. My husband didn't get to stay with me in the hospital because of our very needy dog so it was nice having my last quiet time...but they would just come in when she needed to be feed and then around 5 or 6 in the morning I would keep her in the room with me.

socks2819 · March 2016

We had our LO in the nursery every night we were in the hospital. She was formula fed so they did not bring her in for feedings. The nurses were in and out, but I was so exhausted after 38 hours of labor I would be woken up and immediately fall back asleep. It is different for everyone but I would recommend taking full advantage of the nursery. You will need and want your sleep. We did not pay extra for using the nursery so I would check with your hospital on that.

jrmint427 · March 2016

We had my daughter in the room with us the whole time. It was a personal choice, I just felt better knowing she was right there. I don't think we would have been charged anything additional for using the nursery though. Our hospital encourages the baby to stay in the room with mom (research shows many benefits to mom and baby), but they did offer the nursery and wouldn't have made me feel bad if I wanted to use it.

That said, I got very little sleep in the hospital, and I'm not sure if using the nursery would have made a difference or not. I don't think I slept more than 30-60 minutes at a time, but I took naps during the day too. Some of it was nursing, some were all the checks of people coming in and out of the room, and some was the pain I was in after they took the IV meds away (I had a c-section) and switched me to pills the second day.

I plan to keep this baby in the room with me too, but would consider the nursery depending on circumstances this time.

agogo1 · March 2016

The hospital that I delivered DD at (and will deliver at again this time) encourages keeping baby in the room with you at all times. My hospital is very focused on evidence-based practices and current research (it's a research hospital), and they've basically shut down their nursery. They will take baby if observation is needed for some reason or if you really want them to, but as @jrmint427 mentioned, recent research tells us that it's better for mom and baby to be together during those first hours and days (learning cues, developing a healthy breast feeding relationship, etc.). If you really need a break, the nurses at my hospital are more likely to scoop up baby and take them for a nice long walk with some cuddle time, etc. Even though I delivered at a big hospital and there were a lot of mamas/babies in the recovery wing, there was only one baby in the nursery when I had to go in briefly for some extra testing for DD. I personally would not have wanted to be away from her anyway, but I don't think there would have been any additional charge for using the nursery. Frankly, I was woken up way more by nurses coming in to check vitals (mine and DD's), sign forms, etc. etc. than I was by my daughter. I realize that some of this sounds super judgey, and I apologize for that, I'm just sharing the platform that my hospital supports and the feelings that I have about that platform. Different strokes for different folks.

jt0707 · March 2016

They call my hospital "baby friendly" which means they want the baby with the mom as much as possible, I don't even think they have a big nursery....I'm pretty happy about it tho!

SuperNerd42 · March 2016

I had DD in the nursery the first night. I nearly passed out after giving birth and was put on iv fluids, and was really in no shape to take care of her. They were really great about it, and DH opted to keep her after a feeding and rock. We kept her with us after that first night though.

blaf322 · March 2016

Thanks for the insight ladies. They definitely charge for the nursery service but I'm sure many didn't notice because of their insurance coverage

I'll definitely check out the research. Thanks again all!

alysie89 · March 2016

My hospital no longer has a nursery. It falls under the baby friendly bnner, or is trying very hard to so all babies room in with mom. The nurses are very helpful and because we're rural there are usually only 1 or 2 babies ever in there the maternity ward at a time so it's very quiet.

LGW2015 · March 2016

FTM here so I don't have any personal experience, but my hospital has a private birthing suite where they encourage a "family" atmosphere, including keeping the baby in the room. I guess they have a separate nursery as well but I'm not sure. We plan on keeping baby with us, so we were thrilled when we found out the kind of atmosphere the hospital has.

PeggyOlsonFTW · March 2016

My hospital has a nursery and I'm eternally grateful for that. I had an induction that ended in a csection and meant I spent almost a full week in the hospital. DH could only spend the first night after DS was born because we had no one to stay overnight with our needy dog. He'd leave every night around 6pm and bring DS to the nursery on his way out. I could barely get in and out of bed on my own, let alone with a newborn. It would have been dangerous to keep DS in the room with me. The nurses brought him in to me every time he needed to nurse. I plan on utilizing the nursery this time around too. There's no shame in using the nursery at all!

LizaKate1213 · March 2016

Our hospital is also baby friendly and has private suites, which means baby rooms in with mom and dad except in cases of serious complications. If the mom needs help the nurse will come in and help her but for the most part, early bonding is encouraged.

FemShep · March 2016

When I delivered DD2, the hospital only took the baby to the nursery if it was medically necessary. I had a c-section, and DH spent the night with us; if he hadn't, DD2 would have gone to the nursery because I wasn't supposed to lift her out of her bassinet.

We really liked having her in the room with us, but it's a matter of preference. I wouldn't stress too much about it right now; I suspect this is one of those things that you can't predict until it happens to you.

BoyMom44 · March 2016

I was just reading an article about hospital doing away with nurseries and the rise of baby falls. While there is proof baby needs mom, mom also needs a break and rest. With my first he was with us 97% of the time. Second was probably 90%. This time I plan on utilizing the nursery more. I will have three kids to take care of when I get home and had two difficult deliveries. You can plan your hospital visit/stay and theres a chance you or baby may not be 100%. Also plan for something for when you shower. You will likely need extra time and a baby won't be able to be left unattended.

UponAStar16 · March 2016

I think it really can depend on how the mother is doing after delivery regardless of what form it is done....and personally even if there's research showing its good for the baby to be in the room in its first days which it'll never remember, I'd rather have my baby being safe cared for by nurses in case I'm on morphine after major surgery rather than being out of it trying to juggle a newborn. Either way I'm sure there are benefits but I think it makes sense to improvise rather than be set with a plan that might need to change depending on how everyone is doing

edit: posted mid sentence

BoyMom44 · March 2016

You really need to look into how the nursery supposedly bills. I never saw anything specific for the nursery. Babies are typically sent to the nursery after birth for a bath, vaccines, hearing test, weight checks, etc. There may be scenarios where the baby is taken to the nursery to have these things done so I'm not sure you really can avoid it 100%.

JamieK1882 · March 2016

The first night I kept DD in the room with me. The second night I was so exhausted we sent her to the nursery and it was the best decision I ever made. They brought her out to me every 3 hours to nurse but at least I got a little sleep. Not sure what I'll do this time around.

motherof3dragons · March 2016

I had one baby that I had in the room with me almost the whole time and one that I had stay in the nursery between feedings overnight. I was charged the same for the nursery.

This time I will definitely send my little one to the nursery at least once over night. The way I see it, it's the last time I'll have overnight help.

cd92007 · March 2016

When I had my son, I labored/was awake from 3 pm in the afternoon until 6 am the next morning when I gave birth. Then we had visitors all day, so I was awake all day. So by the nighttime, I was sooooooooooo exhausted and hadn't slept in almost 48 hours. But our hospital does not give the option to send to the nursery; they are very pro-bonding which I can appreciate.

I guess looking back, it would have been nice to have him in the nursery, ha! But at the time I was so in love with him I didn't want him out of my sight. In fact he slept on my chest and my husbands chest all night and didn't once sleep in the little bassinet (which the nurses weren't too happy about haha).

runningmama14 · March 2016

With my son, he never left my side in the hospital. Our hospital's "nursery" was a tiny room with one empty bassinet and no babies. There might have been room for a second bassinet, but clearly, they don't use the nursery very often. But, I did give birth at a birth care center and all c-sections are transferred to the hospital across the street, unless they are so emergent, there isn't time.

I wouldn't have wanted it any other way, even though I had a very long and difficult labor and lost a lot of blood.

Honestly, I don't remember being interrupted too much and actually got decent sleep. I delivered around 4pm and left the next day around 5pm, so we were only there one night. As for showering, I took one a few hours after delivery. This was dh's first chance to hold him and then the nurse did his measurements and hand and foot prints in the room. Later a different nurse came in and did his first bath in the room. The next day, a peds doctor came in and examined him and they did his blood tests and hearing screen. So it's certainly possible to have everything done without a trip to the nursery depending on how the hospital works. The only thing that he probably would have been separated for was if we had him circumcised at the hospital.

We plan on the same for this one.

kmalls · March 2016

Just chiming in with my experience: DS was in the nursery 24/7 the first four days due to an oxygen issue, but even had we had the choice, I would have sent him to the nursery at night. It'll probably piss some people off, but I think the term "baby-friendly hospital" is complete BS. After the absolute exhaustion that comes from labor (and for some, a c-section) mom is going to need a break at some point. To force a mother to have the baby in the room at all times puts a lot of stress on that mother ESPECIALLY if she needs/wants time without baby -- it could make her feel like something is wrong with her if she wants a few hours of uninterrupted sleep while everyone is telling her that's "wrong."

Also, not everyone breastfeeds. A huge part of the "baby-friendly hospital" movement is to encourage breastfeeding. I personally did not and will not BF (due to a host of reasons) but exclusively pump. I don't think it's up to the hospital to tell a mother what's best and then try to force them to go that route by requiring the baby to stay in the room.

At some point a hospital needs to put the mom first. A happy, rested mother is a good mother. A mother stressed out from the get-go because she hasn't been allowed to get the rest and recovery she needs is, to me, cruel. I realize my opinion is probably an unpopular one, but it's just as valid as those who wholeheartedly believe that the baby should be in-room at all times.

klv · March 2016

Sent my DD to the nursery. They brought her in every 3 hrs to nurse and then took her back when she was done. I got to sleep which was awesome because there was no sleeping once we got home

mrszoess · March 2016

@kmalls I am a ftm but I totally have the same sentiment as you. I know myself and I know how much I will love my rainbow but I also know how anxious I will get without a little time to myself to rest and recuperate. that's why you're in the hospital, to get healed a bit before you go home.

youre not less of a mother if you want a break. I'm pretty sure everyone NEEDS one.

JamieK1882 · March 2016

@kmalls I agree with you. I think either option is fine and there isn't a one-size fits all that is perfect for everyone. My first night with DD, I felt so much pressure/guilt to keep her in the room with me. After my second day of visitors, and second night of no sleeping and unsuccessful breastfeeding, I was literally a basket case. The nurse actually encouraged me to send her to the nursery the second night and it was the best thing I could've done for my mental sanity.

I feel like it's a lot like the breastfeeding thing, yes maybe BF and closeness to mom is best, but it might not be best for every person and that's ok too.

ignoscemihi · March 2016

This is why it's important to tour your hospital well before your due date. With our first child, we toured the hospital when I was 7 months pregnant. The staff made it clear that our baby would be in the room the entirety of our stay at the hospital unless the baby experienced complications. We didn't know that before the tour but we were fine with it. We were happy with our experience. We got to bond with our baby while being supported by hospital staff. But I had a quick, intense labor (less than 7 hours from water breaking until birth, most of that having contractions with no break), so I probably wasn't as tired as most new moms are right after giving birth. If having baby in the room with no break after a long labor sounds daunting to you, then you definitely don't want to give birth at a baby friendly hospital and that's something you want to know before you go into labor.

BoyMom44 · March 2016

The term "baby friendly hospital" makes me cringe. So hospitals that provide nurseries are now considered not baby friendly? The organizations that came up with this initiative should have picked much better wording IMO.

sadeathe · March 2016

My husband and I kept my son with us in the hospital room the entire time we were there. I labored overnight from 9:30pm until he was born at 5:30 am. Then we were up all day. My son nursed every hour that night. He did the same thing the second night. Even if we had sent him to the nursery, every three hours nursing would not have been enough for him.

Paturkey · March 2016

Well, I'm on the NHS here and there's no privacy or nurseries. With my DS I was in a room with three other moms and newborns with curtains around our beds for privacy. Baby is in a bassinet next to you. Visitors, husbands included, have very specific visiting times and certainly not overnight. So, I'm just hoping to go home as soon as possible. I was stuck for two nights last time, hope to go home after one this time (fingers crossed for smooth delivery).

A nursery would have been nice, but I'd also settle for a room where all the newborns didn't constantly wake eachother up! I don't think you need to worry about it yet, but if you want options look into them. I think there's no right answer, it's whatever feels best for you and your family.

jillianpardo · March 2016

Our hospital doesn't have a nursery. Definitely do a hospital tour and see what your options are. The nurses come in a lot. I had the same nurse both times. She was so incredible. I'm very thankful for her help. If I was sleeping she didn't wake me either. I wouldn't have sent either of my girls to the nursery as a personal choice and hold no judgement on those that take advantage of nursuries. I had a terrible time bf my first so I think it was good she was in room with me to be able to have some positive moments with her, haha. I hardly put my first in the bassinet. I was exhausted from a long labor and had very little sleep for months. Terrible sleep at end of pregnancy, no sleep for 36 hours for labor/delivery/ recovery....in hindsight I should have put her in the bassinet and rested. Second baby went much better with delivery. She and I were pros at bf. She slept 4-6 hrs right after birth and was a lb or 2 above her birth weight when it was time to check out on the third day. I was a seasoned cosleeper and had baby two in the hospital bed with me to sleep so we both slept well. To this day child 1 is my difficult kid and kid 2 is cake. Could be the learning curve or temperament difference (or both). Take care of yourself as best you can. Take advance of the help in the hospital and rest as much as you can. No matter what you will make it through this experience. I'm getting all weepy thinking about those precious first days with my girls. #whymypregnantselfiscrying

greenlia · March 2016

Some hospitals don't have or are removing nurseries because rooming in is supposed to provide so many benefits, particularly if you choose to breastfeed. And of course there's a backlash against this because it could also be construed as taking away patient choice to save money. I'd go on a hospital tour and check insurance specifics if you're really concerned about this, since my advice would be to decide once you have the baby. My hospital is too small to have a staffed nursery, but it's so small that the nurses happily took my newborns for 4-hour stretches at night so I could recover from the birth. It was everything the natural birth books said not to do and it was totally what I needed. The babies were loved on and I got 3.5 solid hours of shuteye and have excellent breastfeeding relationships.

cbamama641 · March 2016

The hospital where I will be delivering is also where I work, on the same floor in fact. We have baby friendly designation and rooming in is encouraged. We will take babies as necessary if the mom is too exhausted or if they need a break, but it's not the norm. Our nursery is a level two special care nursery so a lot of times it's designated for the sick babies, but they will "babysit" as well. Personally when I see a mom at wits end I always offer to take baby for an hour or two so she can get solid sleep. A lot of times I get turned down by the parents. As for my babiew, all three of them have roomed in with me and this one will too. I wouldn't have it any other way, yea I'm exhausted, but that's the only time I'm going to have just me and that baby. Baby friendly initiatives are out there to promote bonding, recognition of feeding cues whether you're breast or bottle feeding, and the hope that baby will spend lots of time skin to skin because besides bonding, skin to skin helps regulate baby's temperature and blood sugar! It's hard working on "the other side" of a baby friendly hospital that doesn't promote use of a nursery. We don't all shove breast feeding down moms throats, we don't make moms who've been exhausted by labor and delivery and sometimes major surgery suffer and try to care for their babies alone, we try to offer the best evidenced based care we can provide by helping nurture their relationship with their new baby.
Sorry got a little windy there.

TurtleMomma · March 2016

My son was in the NICU for 2 days but I still trecked from my room to his every 2ish hours to feed him and just spent the days in his room. This time around, I'm going with a birth center so we'll only be there a few hours after birth.

FTR, I think the baby friendly designation is a wonderful thing.

runningmama14 · March 2016

TurtleMomma said:
FTR, I think the baby friendly designation is a wonderful thing.

Me too! Baby has spent their entire life inside of you, right under your beating heart. I can't imagine how stressful being alone in a nursery bassinet must be for them.

simcal18 · March 2016

runningmama14 said:

TurtleMomma said:
FTR, I think the baby friendly designation is a wonderful thing.

Me too! Baby has spent their entire life inside of you, right under your beating heart. I can't imagine how stressful being alone in a nursery bassinet must be for them.

Oh please. Every human being on the planet has had to transition from being inside the womb to outside it. As far as I know not one of them has been permanently psychologically traumatized by the experience. Yes, early bonding is important. But if mom is recovering from a long labor or major surgery (which a c-section is) and needs a couple of hours to rest, baby will be just fine in the nursery and mom should feel precisely zero guilt about sending her baby to a supposedly "stressful" experience. PS - Mom will likely be able to better bond with her baby when she's not extremely sleep deprived and in pain, too.

kmalls · March 2016

TurtleMomma said:

My son was in the NICU for 2 days but I still trecked from my room to his every 2ish hours to feed him and just spent the days in his room. This time around, I'm going with a birth center so we'll only be there a few hours after birth.

FTR, I think the baby friendly designation is a wonderful thing.

I made that same trek to feed DS every 2 hours while recovering from a c-section. I'm not sure what your point is here, are you looking for a medal?

It's great you're choosing to give birth at a center where you'll have the experience you want. I think the bigger point is that many women WON'T get a choice if they have to give birth at a hospital that has made the decision for them that babies stay in-room. Some mothers need a little time away from baby no matter how YOU personally feel. I'm sure you'd be up in arms if the standard was to bring the baby to the nursery every night, no matter what your wishes. Nobody wants to be told what is best for them, so try to have a little compassion.

Blonde1817 · March 2016

Last year when my cousin had her baby, she had fully planned on having the baby room in. The nursery is not exactly offered, but the nurses were happy to take the baby there when she decided she needed some rest. She said she felt like it was a great choice for her at the time. This is a very new birth center and I believe they have that baby friendly designation. I'm assuming that most hospitals will have a nursery option available, you just need to be proactive in asking about it, whereas before you may have had to request to have baby room with you.

Personally, although I think the term "baby friendly" is a little silly, I like it because I think it represents a backlash to overmedicalizing pregnancy and birth. I think it's the best of both worlds because many labors and births are normal and should be treated as such. However, if you do have a medical emergency, the best care is right there. And I absolutely love that homier birthing suites are more common now. I hate hospitals anyways and I can't imagine how much it would suck to be in an ER type room for hours on end, and then share a room with someone after baby is born. I think it's a good thing that hospitals are reflecting patient's needs in these ways. Of course, overall, the more options the better! Everyone's needs are different!

PeggyOlsonFTW · March 2016

runningmama14 said:

TurtleMomma said:
FTR, I think the baby friendly designation is a wonderful thing.

Me too! Baby has spent their entire life inside of you, right under your beating heart. I can't imagine how stressful being alone in a nursery bassinet must be for them.

Ugh.

BoyMom44 · March 2016

runningmama14 said:

TurtleMomma said:
FTR, I think the baby friendly designation is a wonderful thing.

Me too! Baby has spent their entire life inside of you, right under your beating heart. I can't imagine how stressful being alone in a nursery bassinet must be for them.

You know what's also stressful for a baby? Being pushed and squeezed through a very tiny hole.

mothernorth · March 2016

At my hospital you have to request nursery care, but they won't make you feel bad for it if you do and I like that. What you do ultimately depends on how you feel after labor regardless of what you had planned I think.

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