Alone during birth

clynn121 · March 2016

Hello, I'm a FTM and will be having a c section in just a few days. I will be alone during the procedure as well as most of the time during the hospital stay. Has anyone else ever experienced this?

blueeyedrose86 · March 2016

I haven't, but I'm sorry you have to be alone. I just had a c-section and I don't know what I would have some without my husband there. Hopefully you have awesome nurses that will help with everything.

meg_2006 · March 2016

Just a thought, would you be able to find a doula willing to assist you with recovery and offer some support?

clynn121 · March 2016

I honestly don't think I could find one in time, or make a connection that fast. I'm hoping that the recovery process won't be too bad because I'll be alone once I'm home as well.

blueeyedrose86 · March 2016

You need someone to support you at home. I would be in help right now without it and I'm a week post op. It would have been impossible right out of the hospital. Seriously consider a postpartum doula!

smushi · March 2016

It'll be tough but ok. The nurses at the hospital will help you tons with everything. Getting up for bathroom trips, helping with baby, etc (that call button is awesome!). Plus they'll be a great support during the procedure. Just let them know and I'm sure one of them will be right there with you. One of our nurses even snapped a few photos for us in the delivery room.

At home, get everything set up for as easy access as possible for yourself now before you go into labor. Wash all the baby clothes. Set up your bathroom with a place to put baby down so you can take care of yourself (bouncers work great! but we also used the changing pad several times since it's squishy and has sides). Get your box of self care stuff all set up now so you don't have to worry about it after the baby arrives - big pads, Tucks, Peri bottle, soothing spray, right next to the toilet so you're good to go. Get lots of quick to heat freezer meals (big or small, microwavable or stove top) and steam bags of veggies or premade salad. Do you have Walmart Pick Up in your area? I'd sign up for that too. Get a diaper station set up in the comfiest part of your house, wherever you'll spend a lot of your time during the day when you first get home - diapers, wipes, a waterproof mat to lay baby on, rash cream, and swaddling blankets/burp towels and a few outfit changes. If you are nursing, it'll be a good idea to stock that area with bottled water and an assortment of snacks, so you're not constantly having to get up.

Do you have anyone you know who could drive you home from the hospital? I'm not sure what the recommendations are for driving after that surgery.

That way, you've got everything at hand and don't have to move more than necessary that first week. It might be really helpful to go ahead and get a belly support band for post labor too. Mine has helped me feel less 'loosy goosy' and made maneuvering much easier and more comfortable.

Parker16772 · March 2016

No experience but just want to say good luck and also that you might check with your doctor or hospital (maybe you already have). The policy at my hospital is you have to have someone there at night to be with you if you have the baby rooming in and had a c-section. I know I couldn't get out of bed to get DS1 out of the bassinet for the first 24 hours due to having to be on magnesium (my BP spiked after the section). I hope you get some really good nurses and maybe they can just take the baby to the nursery at night?

clynn121 · March 2016

thank you all for the kind words and recommendations. I do have some family who live about 40 minutes away so they are going to take me and the baby home from the hospital. My childs father and I split up a week ago and he wants nothing to do with either of us so I've had very little time to even grasp everything. I have everything set up and will not have to use stairs or anything of that nature. I have a fairly high pain tolerance so I'm hoping that helps get me through. As for the baby staying in the hospital room with me, he will be able to. I have a portable sleeper that is meant to stay in the bed with you so we may use that if its too painful to get him out of the hospital bassinet. Also, the nurses that I've met seem very helpful and eager to jump in and do anything that's needed so hopefully they are that way the day I deliver

eivaska · March 2016

Just an FYI my doctor won't allow me to drive for two weeks after my csection. You might try and line up some friends/family for your first trip to the pediatrician etc.

clynn121 · March 2016

Mine won't allow it either so I have rides set up and luckily I have a few close friends who are willing to pitch in where needed. Truing to get everything figured out because times ticking. I hate that this all happened especially this late in. Can't wait to have my little one in my arms

ceds07 · March 2016

@clynn121 I am so, so sorry you're going through this. I don't have any wise words but just wanted to say it sounds like you're bring incredibly composed and practical about the situation and I know you're going to be better than ok! Everyone else's advise is spot on - do ANYTHING necessary to make your life easier. Amazon Prime, grocery delivery, meal delivery, etc. are all key.

clynn121 · March 2016

I really appreciate that. No sense in dwelling over a poor excuse of a man. Time to show him that my son is better off without him. I have been stocking up and plan to go get last minute meals and such tomorrow. Luckily I made a lot of meals to freeze recently so I'm overstocked.. Better than unded stocked haha. Thanks again for your kind words

katy0990 · March 2016

I am sorry you are in that situation. The best advice I can give is do not push too hard. I had a section Sunday and did way to much yesterday before the Iv meds wore off and I am paying for it now.

clairemwalker · March 2016

Hi there, i cant relate to the c-section bit, but i did end up going through most of my labour alone. I was previously admitted due to some issues, and when i went into labour i wasnt checked and got told to go to sleep. Becuase i was just on the ward (not in L&D) and it was during the night, DH wasn't allowed to stay. I wasnt checked until half past midnight and i had been at hospital since 9. DD was born shortly after. My advice to you, just concentrate on whats happening at the time, i know its scary to be alone but it helped me just to concentrate on 'the moment' rather then thinking about being alone. Good luck! Feel free to pm me if you wanna chat

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