One of my biggest coping strategies with the waiting game (especially while doing fertility treatment) is to plan...plan...plan! haha
The thing on my mind right now as we are TTC is whether to go with a midwife or OB GYN for prenatal care. As I look into it, a midwife is definitely becoming more and more intriguing, but I really don't have a lot of information about it. Any information, experience, or advice would be very helpful!
What are you deciding and why?
Me: 31 DH: 32
Married: 10/4/14, Together Since: 5/21/06
Children: 1 (girl, 3 years)
TTTC #1 since April 2015, Started Treatment Dec 2015
5 Cycles of IF treatment until BFP! (IUI, Gonal-F, Letrozole)
BFP: September 5th, 2016
Born: May 22, 2017
TTTC #2 since September 2020, Currently in Testing phase
Re: *NOT PREGNANT JUST THINKING AHEAD* Midwife vs. OB GYN...Thoughts?
Fair enough! I will try those boards. I have never been pregnant either, so I thought that maybe some people might be looking into the same thing, and might have the same questions as I do. Maybe I will re-post though!
I genuinely appreciate your input, thank you!
Children: 1 (girl, 3 years)
TTTC #1 since April 2015, Started Treatment Dec 2015
5 Cycles of IF treatment until BFP! (IUI, Gonal-F, Letrozole)
Born: May 22, 2017
TTTC #2 since September 2020, Currently in Testing phase
Children: 1 (girl, 3 years)
TTTC #1 since April 2015, Started Treatment Dec 2015
5 Cycles of IF treatment until BFP! (IUI, Gonal-F, Letrozole)
Born: May 22, 2017
TTTC #2 since September 2020, Currently in Testing phase
Me - 33 DH - 30
Married May 2015
TTC #1 since January 2016
BFP 03/14/16
EDD 11/22/16
If it's a safe option for me, I'm absolutely game for midwife and birth center for a lot of reasons but my H is not.
If you're looking for more information on midwifery, I'd recommend starting with Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth and Netflix has a series called "The Business of Being Born" that I thought was really informative in a really accessible way. // eta There is also a well-researched book titled Pushed that examines modern childbirth/maternity care practices if you want to peer into the birthing industry as a whole.
ntnp #2 . summer 2018
*siggy warning*
ttc#1 . jul 2015
mmc . mar 2016 | 6w2d
dx PCOS (non-IR) / subclinical hypothyroidism . summer 2016
tx metformin, levothyroxine, LP progesterone, femara + trigger + ti . fall/winter 2016
BFP! . jan 2017
DD . oct 2017
LFAF April Siggy Challenge - TV/Movie BFFS - Romy & Michele
DS: 5 years old
TTC #2 since August 2015
July 2016: Testing cycle with 100 mg Clomid = BFN
August 2016: 50 mg Clomid + IUI = BFN
October 2016: IVF#1 - 13 retrieved / 12 mature / 9 fertilized / 2 blasts
November 2016: FET#1 = chemical
January 2017: FET#2 = chemical
March 2017: IVF#2 - 18 retrieved / 18 mature / 16 fertilized / 5 blasts
May 24, 2017: FET#4 - BFP! - Beta #1 151 - Beta #2 503 - Due date 2/9/18
DH: 30 year old pneumatic electrical engineer
BFP: June 25, 2016 and MC: July 3, 2016
DD2: April 16, 2017
BFP: November 30, 2018 EDD: August 14, 2019
2010: Infertility
October 2015: missed miscarriage #2 at 11 weeks (trisomy 22)
HSG - All clear, ectopic kidney didn't affect uterus (yay!)
CT Adrenal Scan - no tumors!
SA - sperm count excellent, 2% Morphology
March/April IUI scheduled - surprise BFP w/ help of Progesterone - 3/18/2016
Beta #1 @ 11dpo - 45.7 #2 @ 14dpo - 163 #3 @ 18dpo - 997 #4 @ 21dpo - 3799
EDD 12/1 based on O, 11/28 per Ob/Gyn (but he's wrong lol).
*TEAM BLUE!*
BFP May 16th 2016
DD born January 30 2017
Surprise BFP/MC April 2017
Married May 2012
TTC#1 July 2013 - July 2015 (no success)
Again TTC#1: Dec 2015
First RE visit: Feb 2016
BFP: 9/16/16 EDD:5/26/17
TTC#1 - March 2013
BFP 8/9/13 - EDD 4/14/14 - DS born 4/23/14
TTC#2 November 2015
Dx: Secondary IF June 2016
Medicated IUI cycle#1- Clomid+IUI -1/15/17 -BFN
Break Mid 2017 - Resumed TTC December 2018
"She believed she could so she did..."
Medicated IUI cycle#2- Femara 5mg+IUI 12/22/18 - BFP 1/4/19 - MMC 2/1/19
Saline Sono 3/15/19 - All Clear!
Medicated IUI cycle#3- Femara 7.5mg+IUI 3/28/19-BFN
Medicated IUI cycle#4- Femara 5mg+Gonal F 50iu+IUI 4/27/19- BFP 5/11/19 - MMC 6/12/19 - D&C 6/14/19-
Incomplete M/C Repeat D&C - 7/3/19 -Testing concluded baby was genetically normal
Dx: Unexplained RPL July 2019 - Tested + as carrier for Usher Syndrome & Familial Mediterranean Fever
Saline Sono 8/7/19 - Mostly Clear! All systems go for IVF#1
But will need a repeat Saline Sono between ER and FET
IVF #1 - Antagonist Protocol - 8/17/19
ER#1 8/27/19 - 12R, 6F, 4 biopsied+frozen! (3d5blasts + 1d6blast)- 2 PGS normal embabies!
Saline Sono 9/13/19 - All Clear! Onto FET Prep#1
FET#1 - 4AA -10/4/19 - BFP 10/14/19 - EDD - 6/21/20 -Beta#1-10dp5dt- 379 Beta#2-12dp5dt- 1007 Beta#3-14dp5dt- 2844
DD born 6/15/20
Me: 33 H: 36
Married: 12/14/13 DS: 1/29/09
BFP2: 10/9/15 MMC: 11/12/15
BFP3: 4/6/16 DD: 12/12/16
then 3 failed IUIs, and finally a successful IVF FET.
Due with #2 5/2/19 after HIO once in my FW,
because apparently that's how life works now. Team Blue!
Me: 28 DH: 29
Married: August 2014
TTC #1 Since March 2015
Diagnosed with PCOS March 2016
SA results normal April 2016
3 rounds clomid + trigger + TI = BFN
3 rounds clomid + trigger + IUI = BFN
Uterine polyp removed July 2017
Round 1 IVF January 2018
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
I met with a midwife at a clinic and really liked her. She was associated with a hospital that had the ability to do a c section should the need arise. My cousin had her as a midwife and ended up needing a c section. I like a practice where you have those options (which are a lot of them.)
I used a family practice doctor who was certified and able to do c sections when I was pregnant with my first. I went this route so he could be my doctor and the baby's doctor. I ended up needing a c section and he was able to do everything I needed. I will need a repeat c section and have moved to a different area since my first pregnancy and will use the OB that I used for my second baby.
DD 1 10/2012
CP 9/2013
DD 2 6/2014
CP 3/2016
BFP 12/8/2016
**TW loss**
When I was pregnant I found a wonderful midwife who does birth center and home births, and they didn't make you decide which til 32 weeks or so. She was amazing. The birth center offered every test an OB's office would and had its own ultrasound machine, emergency equipment, nitrous oxide, etc. plus it was 7-10 minutes away from three hospitals. When I found out I was going to miscarry my midwife gave me her cell number so I could call and text her with questions and updates throughout the process. It was a huge help. She also told me that when I get another BFP to give her a call that same day so I can set up an appointment and we can do whatever I need to feel comfortable with PGAL. I'm so glad to have her and would not want anything else.
Married 9/27/14
TTC #1 since 8/15/15
BFP: 1/2/16, EDD 9/13/16 - MMC 2/10/16
BFP: 3/17, EDD 11/23/16
November 2016 April Siggy Challenge - April Showers
However, my insurance will cover most of the birth and related expenses (my OOP would be around $3000-4000 dollars based off the estimate) but won't cover anything at all for a home birth and covers little or nothing for a birthing center. So what I'll probably do is have a midwife at a hospital. Unless of course I end up being high risk for some reason and then I'll obviously go the OB route. My OB practice said they tend to consider women with Endo high risk (though no one explained why) so the office I'm using at the moment may term me "high risk" because of Endo. I guess I'll see what happens if I ever make it to that point.
I do know that for the birth plan I don't want to have the cord clamped and cut till it's been ~5 minutes and it's done pulsing and such. I saw an excellent TED talk on that and it seems like such a simple thing that could possibly help baby a lot.
I've tried not to think too much about all this because I feel like it's a bit cart before the horse. DH won't talk about it at all because he feels it's extremely cart before the horse.
ETA: My OB/GYN office has a policy where you have to pay a "labor and delivery deposit" no later than 3 months into your pregnancy if you want to use them so if/when I get another BFP this is all something I'll have to think about fairly immediately since I'm not going to pay a non-refundable deposit and then switch providers.
TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016
Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
Baby #2 due June 12, 2018
Previously nweg...7878
ETA I also think I'm biased because my brother and I were born at home, as well as my niece and nephew, and my SIL is a home birth midwife. I also never got to see a birth during my maternal child clinical so I don't have any personal experience with hospital birth and would like to hear a more informed opinion!
Married 9/27/14
TTC #1 since 8/15/15
BFP: 1/2/16, EDD 9/13/16 - MMC 2/10/16
BFP: 3/17, EDD 11/23/16
November 2016 April Siggy Challenge - April Showers
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
I go to a collaborative practice with obs and midwives. I see a midwife (or nurse practitioner for gyn), but there are also obs on the practice in case things become...complicated.
******TW: previous pregnancy
Even when I developed preeclampsia, I still delivered with my cnm. The obs working for the practice just kind of came on team and advised the midwives what they wanted them to do once I became higher risk. It was great because I got all the benefits of midwife care but with the assurance of ob care from a team I knew in case things went different from plan. (Outcome: I was induced at 38 weeks per the obs insistence, and everything from inserting the cervadil to the pushing phase was totally handled by the midwives in team. I ended up with a vaginal birth after 24 hits of labor.)
I went in about 36 hours before birth with extremely high (spiked) blood pressure. Everything was my choice. Nothing was pushed on me. Now, I was a crying scared mess. Because DH was away for work (to a remote fly in community), we weren't sure if he would be home in time. His work made sure he was. I was scared and alone (even though my mom was there) so for the most part, when my doctor gave me options, I just told him whatever he felt was best.
I also live in Canada, so I know our health care is different.
My hospital birthing experience with my DD was horrific. But not because of the hospital. The on call OB let my push for 4.5 because I really wanted a vaginal birth. She was just not moving in the birth canal. Her head was stuck. In the end, I had a placental abruption and my daughter was born with a critical heart defect that was undiagnosed until birth. THANK GOD I delivered in a hospital. We both could have died if we hadn't.
I will be using the same OB that I used with my DD. She visited me several times during the day when I was in labor, even though she was in clinic and not on call. After the clinic was closed, she came up to me and never left until after I woke up from the c-section, 2 hours after my DD was born. She wanted to tell me how every thing went personally. I will love her forever for that.
@zrain - I don't disagree with anything you've said. For me, I'm strong and an advocate for myself. Often hospitals practice the things you've mentioned (including where I work/delivered/will deliver), but if you ask to see the actual policy on things that are important to you, it's often a different story on IF these are necessary the majority of the time. I am very up front with my Dr and nurses about how I want to labor, and they are compliant with the as long as it's not "officially" against policy.
Unfortunately, I had to be induced with DS due to gestational hypertension (after fighting induction and monitoring X 2 weeks), so I had many more interventions than I would have liked. In the absence of that, I think the key is laboring at home as long as possible. Walking in at 7 or 8 cm doesn't leave time for interventions.
With all of that said, I just can't take the "what-if" factor. I have too many friends and myself who've had birth complications. I am fully aware that my complications may have been caused/exacerbated by induction. I get really, really sad when I think about it, but it became a necessary intervention I never wanted. In the end, I almost had a CS. No position in the world was bringing DS down the birth canal with, what we found out, was cord wrapped head and body. Fortunately, my Dr. was excellent and, with some suction, was able to deliver him.
Anyway, this was way longer than I expected. It's something I feel strongly about. Others have the opposite view, which is ok too! I just don't think hospitals have to be filled with inevitable interventions if mama/daddy/support person are advocates for themselves/mama/baby.
PS...My hospital doesn't have a birth pool which I would totally love! I'm not sure if they allow laboring in the shower or not...I didn't have the opportunity with DS and didn't ask since I didn't plan on arriving with enough time to do so.
This. I would have loved to just give birth in a birthing center with a midwife, but then I became a nurse. And worked in a NICU. I understand I see the 1% or whatever, but knowing what I know now, I would never give birth anywhere that didn't have at least a level 3 NICU, and multiple OB's on staff that can perform emergency C sections if needed. Things can change SO quickly in the birthing process, and I want those resources readily available.
That being said, I'm also a big fan of MOST of the information on Business of Being Born and an advocate of using the least amount of interventions necessary. It would be my perfect scenario to be in a place where midwives ruled the house and OB's were there for backup. Personally, I plan on having a clear birth plan (that DH is both familiar and on board with), and then changing it as necessary, not convenient.
"Expectation is the mother of all frustration" -Antonio Banderas
Like a pp suggested, I read Ida May Haskins book. I also read a book called How to have a natural birth in a Hospital. I also purchased some books about husband coached birthing. (sorry I can't remember the titles Exactly... I've since given these books away because well... When I got cancer I was in a dark place). I highly recommend all three. I feel the hospital natural birth one and husband coached books were more relatable and Most people I know feel the same. (side note... I love Ida may, but... She is a bit Hippy dippy and That can rub some people wrong. Would I like to give birth on a farm? You betcha! Is this going to happen? No. We don't live even remotely close to her farm. Nonetheless, I found the book empowering and informative.)
I used to have kaiser through my work and I hated their ob model. Basically you didn't get to pick who delivered you. It was whoever was at the hospital at the time. And every friend/Co worker that went this route seemed to be displeased. So DH and I decided when the time Came, we would pay the 5,000 or so OOP to go to the well known midwifery center. (at his work, at the time, I was not allowed on his insurance if my company offered insurance. I am no longer working so now I am on his insurance and I think they will help with a midwife, financially)
Now after having my thyroid removed and a host of issues with my medications for that, I'm not sure this is an option for me. I haven't done any research yet bc I honestly don't feel I will get pregnant (and now fertility drugs are largely not available to me bc of my cancer hx) so I don't even let my mind wander there.
Ideal? Home Birth.
Compromise with DH ideal? Midwifery center.
More likely after cancer? Ob. (my current ob also had thyroid cancer so we're very bonded... This makes me feel better about this option)
Most likely? Adoption.
And at this point... I'll take whatever
Married May 2014
TTC Nov 2014-Aug 2016
Aug 2015 Dx: Thyroid Cancer and Hashimotos
Total Thyroidectomy October 2015
Ovarian Cystectomy Nov 2015
CANCER FREE and resumed TTC Dec 2015.