@cmlawrence89 So sorry for your loss--praying that you have lots of support and find the strength to heal on your own time-frame, and that when you're ready to start this journey again that it goes as smoothly and joyfully as possible.
I didn't want to make a new post of this, but we found out yesterday our baby had no heartbeat and stopped growing around 10 weeks, right after our perfect looking u/s. This is my 3rd loss and it doesn't get any easier, but we are so thankful for the kids we have. I think we will still give it another try as terrifying as it seems.
@lilyaster I'm so so sorry. No one should have to deal with this once let alone 3 times. My heart goes out to you and I hope you get your rainbow as soon as you're ready. *hugs*
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
@cmlawrence89 and @lilyaster I am so, so sorry for your losses. You are both in my thoughts. We have had way too many of these on this board over the past couple days.
DH and I: Early/mid 30s Married 7/15
TTC #1 as of 8/15
BFP 11/21/15 -- MC confirmed 12/1/15 BFP #2 2/18/16
@lilyaster I am so very sorry for your loss. I think you are super woman for not giving up after three losses. Your strength is incredible, and I truly wish you all the best on your journey.
2. Next milestone you're looking forward to? My appointment on April 6th. I am getting the harmony test done so we should know if the baby is okay genetically a week after and the sex of the baby!
3. Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: I'm so over M/S. I can't wait to feel semi normal again.
4. GTKY: What's your favorite candy? This is hard because I have a huge sweet tooth and candy and cookies are my favorite. But I love sour punch straws right now so that's my favorite of the week.
Anyone else starting to feel really anxious after so many losses back-to-back? My heart breaks for these mamas, especially since I've been there. So of course my brain is overthinking.
How are y'all coping with anxiety? Hopefully better than I am. I did cave and order a Doppler. It will be here today. I'm gunna give myself a week to figure it out and if I don't hear anything, I'll call my doctor and ask for assistance. My next appointment isn't until after we're planning to announce and I just need a teeeeeeny bit of reassurance. Especially since this is right around the time I lost my last one.
Ok, end rant. Lol. Hope you ladies are having a better day!
@krzyriver I know what you mean, the anxiety definitely goes up when I see a goodbye post. My heart breaks for each of them. I've been trying to focus on the probability of this pregnancy being perfectly healthy and having a perfect little squishy in October. I just remind myself that even though loss is a possibility, the odds are in my favor that I will have a happy & healthy 9 months. Some days I believe it and others I end up going down the Dr. Google rabbit hole. For example, all day yesterday I was feeling great. Today, I'm having stomach aches so obviously I have listeria because I ate soft ice cream the other night. *face palm*.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
@krzyriver I definitely ordered a doppler yesterday after seeing the posts about losses. It's hard knowing first hand what they're going through and there's really not much we can say to make it any better. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed for everyone.
@krzyriver I definitely ordered a doppler yesterday after seeing the posts about losses. It's hard knowing first hand what they're going through and there's really not much we can say to make it any better. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed for everyone.
I keep going back and forth about a doplar. I'm so tempted but I'm just too scared that I won't be able to find a heartbeat and I'll just tailspin into a panic attack.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
@MRSCORKER Google is the worst. I wish there was a way to block it on my phone! I went back and forth on the Doppler and finally decided that I'll probably tailspin without it anyway. At least this way I can try and get some reassurance before I call the doctor in a panic. *FX*
@depineta It felt like the losses really picked up the last few days too. I'm at the beginning of the month so I'm almost 10 weeks now. And I forget that many people are still not very far along. So right when I start feeling safe all these losses hit and I'm like "Was it early for them or am I still in the danger zone?!" Stupid anxiety. Lol. Hopefully we'll both get some reassurance from our dopplers!
@krzyriver yes definitely. I just feel awful for everyone with first losses and PGAL losses. I wish no one ever had to go through that pain. I'm trying to distract myself as much as possible from my obsessively tracking how far along I am, since my next appointment is in almost two weeks and I won't know if this is still viable until then anyway regardless of how many days I should be! Other than trying to redirect my focus to preparing for a pretty big work-related exam that's a couple days before my first trimester screening, maybe I'll break out those adult coloring books that have been collecting dust. Fx for everyone!
@depineta It felt like the losses really picked up the last few days too. I'm at the beginning of the month so I'm almost 10 weeks now. And I forget that many people are still not very far along. So right when I start feeling safe all these losses hit and I'm like "Was it early for them or am I still in the danger zone?!" Stupid anxiety. Lol. Hopefully we'll both get some reassurance from our dopplers!
THIS. I'll be 10w monday (and my loss was at 9wks) so once I hit 9 weeks I felt like I let out a big sigh of relief and now I'm totally back in that "Was it early for them or am I still in the danger zone" anxiety!
All of the losses have definitely upped my anxiety as well. My heart just hurts for each and every one of them. And I'm at the tail end of the month so I definitely don't feel like I'm out of the danger zone yet. Not even close.
DH and I: Early/mid 30s Married 7/15
TTC #1 as of 8/15
BFP 11/21/15 -- MC confirmed 12/1/15 BFP #2 2/18/16
@depineta It felt like the losses really picked up the last few days too. I'm at the beginning of the month so I'm almost 10 weeks now. And I forget that many people are still not very far along. So right when I start feeling safe all these losses hit and I'm like "Was it early for them or am I still in the danger zone?!" Stupid anxiety. Lol. Hopefully we'll both get some reassurance from our dopplers!
THIS. I'll be 10w monday (and my loss was at 9wks) so once I hit 9 weeks I felt like I let out a big sigh of relief and now I'm totally back in that "Was it early for them or am I still in the danger zone" anxiety!
See, I'm the opposite. My loss was super early so now I feel like I'm headed out of the danger zone at 8 weeks until I read about late 1st tri losses as 9, 10, 11, weeks and then I just have to stop myself because it's out of my control. First tri is a mind f**k.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
I am right there too. I have had a hard time wanting to get on TB because every time I read a loss story my heart breaks and it makes me more anxious. I wish doctors did ultrasounds weekly so I could see our baby growing and know my next appointment isn't that far away
@simcal18 I'm at the end of the month too and can totally relate!!
Every time I see another loss I get so devastated for them. It seems like there have been a lot of losses lately. It is so scary. The first trimester is so mentally taxing, and I am definitely grateful for every day that I am still pregnant. But my worrying can definitely take over on the days I see a couple of goodbye posts.
Well I am both happy that I'm not alone and sad that everyone else feels this way. I wish I was able to enjoy being pregnant more. I think my hair is going grey from the stress. Lol.
@joyful08 The bad part of weekly ultrasounds for me was that I would start to get terrified the day or two beforehand. It would make time just drag on. So I do enjoy having the appointments spaced out. There's good and bad sides to each I suppose.
@Pupatella I got a sonoline b cause I've heard such great things about it. Just remember that some women can't hear anything this early. And it takes patience to find it even if you can. Or at least that's what I heard. I haven't tried it yet. It was delivered tho, so I'll report back after I get home! Lol
I hadn't checked back here in a few days and I am so devastated to see so many losses! My loss was between 9 and 10 weeks and I'm 9 weeks on Sunday so my anxiety is already really, really high. I keep checking for bleeding and try to keep myself busy.
I'm absolutely going to get a doppler! I didn't have one with my other pregnancies but I think the peace of mind it will give me will be great (especially until the baby starts moving) and it will also be a really cool thing to share with my sons.
@krzyriver yep! And my big appointment is on Wednesday and I am starting to get really nervous. I hate all of these losses for everyone it is just so heartbreaking.
I totally agree with you ladies that the losses on this board have been devastating. I NEVER want anyone to have a loss, because it is so heartbreaking, but I especially don't want someone to have ANOTHER loss (and that includes myself too). I feel so sad when I hear that someone has experienced a loss, both for them and for me. I spend so much time trying to manage my anxiety, but it makes it really difficult when there are losses all around. I think it just makes me mindful of the painful reality.
I've also purchased a Doppler and tried it a few times. I haven't picked anything up yet, but I'm wondering if having a retroverted uterus can impact that. @mrszoess - I do bet that weight has an impact on it early on.
*Loss & bfp mentioned*
me 28 (Lean PCOS, hypothyroid) dh 33 TTC #1 since early 2011 May 2011- natural pregnancy (metformin only); m/c @ 9 weeks + D&C July 2011- lap to remove dermoid cyst August 2012-current- 9 rounds of Clomid, 1 cycle of Femara, several cycles of soy isos, 1 IUI, O'd every cycle, BFN August 2014- lap to remove uterine septum. Everything else looking good. Moving onto IVF Feb/March 2016 Just kidding. Natural bfp 1/30/16. 1st beta 2/1 = 110. 2nd beta 2/3 = 332.
First ultrasound 2/19 - one baby with a heart rate of 127! EDD 10/11/2016
Yes, extra weight can interfere early on. I'm about 220 right now so I was a little worried. Tried my Doppler out today. Picked up a heart rate of 172 for about a second! Then I lost it and couldn't find it again. Lol. It's tricky, especially cause I'm not super patient. I'll try again in a few days....
Of course after all that talk about anxiety yesterday, I started spotting bright red. Called the doctor, who said to rest and if it came back with cramping, go to emergency. Then my 3 old goddaughter spent the afternoon jumping on me. So of course it came back with cramping.
I figured it was nothing, but didn't want to go against the doctor so I went to the ER. It was a relatively quick trip. Had to wait forever for a room, but after I got one I went straight to ultrasound. Baby is doing great! I got to watch him wiggle and dance on the screen!
I admit, it was nice to have one last ultrasound before I start announcing my pregnancy. Family is tomorrow, Monday I call my boss to confirm that my pregnancy is OK and I'll be leaving my job, and Easter we'll announce to everyone.
@MRSCORKER No, but I'm pretty sure I know what caused it. Thursday night I had to leap to get into my husband's pickup truck and I had some cramping afterward. The spotting started the next morning. Probably pulled something. And then my goddaughter jumping on me didn't help. Plus I was on the floor with her for a half hour giving her a bath and the cramping started shortly after. So I knew everything was ok, but I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep if I didn't do what the doctor said and go to emergency. I have to follow up with my OB and I'm pretty sure she's going to officially put me on bed rest now. She wanted to before because of my history.
Re: PGAL check in 3/7
BFP #1: 10/2011, Pre-eclampsia in last 6 weeks, emergency C-section, DD born 6/25/11
BFP #2: 8/16/14, Ectopic Pregnancy & Methotrexate Inj. 9/5/14, Adverse MTX reaction, HCG levels down after 2 weeks
BFP #3: 2/23/2016, EDD 10/28/2016
2. Next milestone you're looking forward to? I have an appt on 3/22 at 12 weeks- possibly having the cell free DNA testing!
3. Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: Raves: found the baby on my doppler. Rants: still nauseous all the time.
4. GTKY: What's your favorite candy? Reeses.. nom. I'm a fan of Starbursts and skittles too..
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
TTC#2: BFP: 8-23-15 MMC: 10-29-15
DD 2: 9-15-16
DD 3: 9-16-17
Married 7/15
BFP #2 2/18/16
LFAF April Siggy: TV/Movie BFFs
BFP #4 1/2016, DD born 10/2016
2. Next milestone you're looking forward to? My appointment on April 6th. I am getting the harmony test done so we should know if the baby is okay genetically a week after and the sex of the baby!
3. Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: I'm so over M/S. I can't wait to feel semi normal again.
4. GTKY: What's your favorite candy? This is hard because I have a huge sweet tooth and candy and cookies are my favorite. But I love sour punch straws right now so that's my favorite of the week.
How are y'all coping with anxiety? Hopefully better than I am. I did cave and order a Doppler. It will be here today. I'm gunna give myself a week to figure it out and if I don't hear anything, I'll call my doctor and ask for assistance. My next appointment isn't until after we're planning to announce and I just need a teeeeeeny bit of reassurance. Especially since this is right around the time I lost my last one.
Ok, end rant. Lol. Hope you ladies are having a better day!
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
@depineta It felt like the losses really picked up the last few days too. I'm at the beginning of the month so I'm almost 10 weeks now. And I forget that many people are still not very far along. So right when I start feeling safe all these losses hit and I'm like "Was it early for them or am I still in the danger zone?!" Stupid anxiety. Lol. Hopefully we'll both get some reassurance from our dopplers!
Married 7/15
BFP #2 2/18/16
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
Every time I see another loss I get so devastated for them. It seems like there have been a lot of losses lately. It is so scary. The first trimester is so mentally taxing, and I am definitely grateful for every day that I am still pregnant. But my worrying can definitely take over on the days I see a couple of goodbye posts.
I think I might jump on the doppler train....
@joyful08 The bad part of weekly ultrasounds for me was that I would start to get terrified the day or two beforehand. It would make time just drag on. So I do enjoy having the appointments spaced out. There's good and bad sides to each I suppose.
@Pupatella I got a sonoline b cause I've heard such great things about it. Just remember that some women can't hear anything this early. And it takes patience to find it even if you can. Or at least that's what I heard. I haven't tried it yet. It was delivered tho, so I'll report back after I get home! Lol
I'm absolutely going to get a doppler! I didn't have one with my other pregnancies but I think the peace of mind it will give me will be great (especially until the baby starts moving) and it will also be a really cool thing to share with my sons.
TTC#2: BFP: 8-23-15 MMC: 10-29-15
DD 2: 9-15-16
DD 3: 9-16-17
I totally agree with you ladies that the losses on this board have been devastating. I NEVER want anyone to have a loss, because it is so heartbreaking, but I especially don't want someone to have ANOTHER loss (and that includes myself too). I feel so sad when I hear that someone has experienced a loss, both for them and for me. I spend so much time trying to manage my anxiety, but it makes it really difficult when there are losses all around. I think it just makes me mindful of the painful reality.
I've also purchased a Doppler and tried it a few times. I haven't picked anything up yet, but I'm wondering if having a retroverted uterus can impact that. @mrszoess - I do bet that weight has an impact on it early on.
me 28 (Lean PCOS, hypothyroid)
dh 33
TTC #1 since early 2011
May 2011- natural pregnancy (metformin only); m/c @ 9 weeks + D&C
July 2011- lap to remove dermoid cyst
August 2012-current- 9 rounds of Clomid, 1 cycle of Femara, several cycles of soy isos, 1 IUI, O'd every cycle, BFN
August 2014- lap to remove uterine septum. Everything else looking good.
Moving onto IVF Feb/March 2016 Just kidding. Natural bfp 1/30/16. 1st beta 2/1 = 110. 2nd beta 2/3 = 332.
First ultrasound 2/19 - one baby with a heart rate of 127! EDD 10/11/2016
I figured it was nothing, but didn't want to go against the doctor so I went to the ER. It was a relatively quick trip. Had to wait forever for a room, but after I got one I went straight to ultrasound. Baby is doing great! I got to watch him wiggle and dance on the screen!
I admit, it was nice to have one last ultrasound before I start announcing my pregnancy. Family is tomorrow, Monday I call my boss to confirm that my pregnancy is OK and I'll be leaving my job, and Easter we'll announce to everyone.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16