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August 2016 Moms
1faceinacrowd
member
PGAL week of 3/7 - RE-DO
1faceinacrowd
member
Since the other one got closed due to being taken over by negative posts, thought I'd start a new one in case anyone still wanted to be able to talk about PGAL or if anyone still wanted to give an update.
Weeks:
What's next? (milestones, appointments, something you are looking forward to):
Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes:
Questions?
GTKY: What would you do for your own personal "Treat Yo'self Day"? (Please tell me we have some Parks and Rec fans here? If not, it is basically a day where you treat yourself to whatever you want!)
Weeks:
What's next? (milestones, appointments, something you are looking forward to):
Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes:
Questions?
GTKY: What would you do for your own personal "Treat Yo'self Day"? (Please tell me we have some Parks and Rec fans here? If not, it is basically a day where you treat yourself to whatever you want!)
Me: 25 DH: 28
Hubby's little boy - my wonderful step-son - born 5/23/10
BFP#1: 06/2010...my beautiful baby girl born 3/7/2011
BFP #2: 10/24/15...mc on 10/31/15
BFP #3: 11/27/15. EDD 8/6/16
"Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." -Winston Churchill
Re: PGAL week of 3/7 - RE-DO
I don't feel very well because of it but thankfully can still go to work since it's not contagious. Gotta save those vacation days for maternity leave!
I think that reminding yourself that it's out of your control is probably the best thing you can do; that's what I always have to tell myself when I start having anxiety about losing this one. I just tell myself, "No matter what the outcome, the only thing I can control at this moment is my outlook. Gotta stay positive." I hope your anxiety calms down soon.
@1faceinacrowd other than Tylenol and the occasional Zantac for reflux I've been going med free this pregnancy too. I've been refusing OTC allergy meds a long time but now that it's gotten this bad I finally caved. My OB approved Claritin, Zyrtec and robatussin. I took zyrtec today and it's helped a lot. And I've been having a lot of cramping too starting when I went to bed last night and it's still going for me. I feel a little better knowing I'm not alone in that, but it's so scary! I can't tell if it's uterine or intestinal because I've been constipated lately. Ugh...
Just like you ladies I really appreciate this group. I don't think I would have made it this far without you.
FFTC: I sometimes feel like I have a hard time connecting with the rest of this board because everyone is just so P&R and I'm over here feeling like a negative Nancy, still. I'm sure it'll get better as we all get father along and get to know each other better, but being PGAL really does put you in a whole 'nother mind frame than people lucky enough to not have experienced loss.
BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13
BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15
BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d
Just keep swimming.
BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13
BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15
BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d
Just keep swimming.
Had a minor freak out last night when I found some blood down below, but it turned out to be a small cut.
@Ramoseecology I am also a FTM and anxious to feel definitive movement. I mean I think some things I feel could be, but you know maybe gas?
thanks to this group for allowing me to get that out, I can't tell DH now.
Edit... I can't spell
I'm constantly worried that things aren't ok, and since it is still too early to feel consistent movement, it can be really hard. I've been avoiding buying new maternity clothes, because I'm afraid I'll jinx things.
**loss mentioned**
DH's parents arrived for a (long-planned) visit one day after my previous loss, and they're going to be arriving the evening of my anatomy scan. The coincidental timing is freaking me out a bit, even though I know that isn't logical.
And my apologies for my role in the previous drama. It was not my intention to cause anyone to feel targeted or hurt. I can absolutely empathize with the feeling of watching others conceive and not being able to do so myself. I don't remember if I've shared this here, but when I experienced my loss, my BFF was also pregnant and only a few weeks ahead of me. My boss and three other close friends were also pregnant. My loss had a profound, awful effect on my relationship with my BFF that I have only been able to slowly overcome in the last couple of months. So, when I used the word bitter, it was partially from personal experience. I was angry, bitter, shattered. I felt useless and hopeless and embarrassed and a whole host of other emotions. Obviously one word cannot encapsulate the whole experience of long-term TTC or pregnancy/infant loss, and I never intended it do so. I apologize if my comments were insensitive-- that was certainly not my intention. I will be more cautious in future when posting here.
BFP #1: 08/17/2012 DD1 born 05/01/2013
BFP #2: 07/31/2015 M/C 09/23/2015 (11.5 weeks)
Have you you heard of the term "shadow babies" before? It's an expression used to describe babies who are born around the same time as yours should have been. It can be haunting to watch those pregnancies progress after yours has ended - and to see those babies go on to reach milestones yours never will. I had one shadow baby with our first loss (boss's daughter was born a week before our EDD), and two with our second loss (babies were born within days of our EDD).
BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13
BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15
BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d
Just keep swimming.
I think for a lot of people (at least for me) the fear never goes away because we know firsthand just how awful it is. Kind of like how people who have been through really horrible car accidents are often nervous on the road -- they're not at any greater risk of another car accident, but because they've been through it, they know what it's like and are more nervous.
BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13
BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15
BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d
Just keep swimming.
@jacmkelley I think about the cord issue all the time! On my last BMB there was someone in the month prior who had a very late term loss due to a cord issue and her story pops into my head on the regular. I'm trying to just settle into this pregnancy but I feel like once you've experienced a loss it's so hard to stay in the super-optimistic mind set.
I totally get what you're saying, @bananers. It's like having PTSD or something similar. I remember, during my loss, there was a point when I just collapsed on the floor of the bathroom off of my bedroom and lost it; I was crying so hard that I could barely breathe and my husband ended up finding me a few minutes later, and we cried together for what felt like forever. I still have flashbacks of that awful moment sometimes when I go in there to get ready in the morning. It's really an indescribable pain, and the fear of experiencing that again is almost paralyzing.
BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13
BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15
BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d
Just keep swimming.
I had same reaction! I wanted to feel great and excited like the first time I was pregnant but I could not get there. I told no one for a long time. It was a very lonely time, especially around the holidays. If there were any blessings, it was that it brought my DH closer together b/c we were the only ones who knew. Once we broke the news, I felt like tempering everyone's excitement by telling everyone, "oh no, don't get excited yet..."
Also, we when we lost the baby I felt so stupid for telling anyone we were expecting. It feels strange now to think I felt that way, but it was very real at the time. I felt so dumb for thinking that I was going to one of the lucky ones not to MC. That was emotion was very unexpected.
@bananers I hadn't heard of that before. I knew a woman who was due two weeks after I would have been due. It was really hard to see her progressing and so excited.
Ok I'll go back to lurking now
@bananers thanks for sharing the term. Its nice to have a term to use.
All of you, thanks for being such a great support group. I know I don't share as much but I want you to know I send positive thoughts everyones way as much as possible.
I'm a lurker- I've never experienced a loss but someone very close to me experienced losses, and it's just awful. She talks to me about it often and I can see how it has affected her. So, I lurk and send you all love and am so happy to see everything going well!