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New here - (child and loss mentioned)

East/West Bride 09East/West Bride 09 member
in Secondary IF
Hello All!

I have been lurking for quite some time but I thought I would finally post an introduction.  I am 33 years old, diagnosed with both Endometriosis and Hypothyroidism.  I have had surgery twice to remove the Endo, hopefully I won't have to have another.  My DH and I have been married 7 years this August and are trying to conceive a sibling for our amazing 4 year old son.  We got pregnant the first time after 6 months of trying and I really didn't think it would be this hard to get pregnant a second time.  We tried on our own for 9 months and I have a suspected miscarriage in Feb 2015.  After that our RE wanted to start by treating me with medication, first Femara and then Clomid.  I have already done 9 medicated cycles with timed intercourse and all of them ended with a BFN.  Our RE now wants to move onto doing an IUI after my check-in appointment yesterday and tbh I cried the whole way home.  I don't know why this is hitting me so hard and I am not sure if our church (very conservative) will even allow us to do an IUI.  I know that all of you ladies have been through so much, I guess I am just looking for a safe place.  I feel so guilty for not being happy with just my son, so many couples don't even get that.

Thanks!
-Alysia
Me: 34, Endo and Hypothyroidism  
DH: 35 
Married 08/2009
Endo Surgery #1 - June 2010
TTC #1 - December 2010  
DS Born 01/2012

Endo Surgery #2 - April 2013 
TTC#2 - September 2014
Suspected Miscarriage 02/2015
5 cycles of Femara 5mg: 05/2015 - 10/2015 all cycles BFN
5 cycles of Clomid 100 mg: 11/2015 - 03/2016 all cycles BFN
4 month break from trying: 04/2016 - 07/2016
2 cycles of Clomid 100mg: 08/2016-9/2016
Chemical pregnany - September 2016
2 cycles of Clomid 100mg: 10/2016-12/2016
6 month break from trying 01/2017-07/2017
BFP 09/25/2017!! - EDD 06/10/2018
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Re: New here - (child and loss mentioned)

  • rachlee2010rachlee2010 member
    Welcome and sorry you find yourself here.  I am also 33 and have a 3 year old son.  We also got pregnant easily with him and didn't expect problems the second time around and here we are almost 2 years later with one miscarriage and nothing else.  We found out I have DOR and time is not on our side but we are still hopeful.  we are here to support you!
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  • pdbirdpdbird member
    Welcome! I'm sorry you find yourself here as well. I'm glad you introduced yourself. I too feel guilty for not being happy with just one. I do feel blessed, but know that if I don't try for #2, I will have the "what if's". As you can see in my signature, we all come here from different ways. I'm currently dealing with a lot of resentment towards DH having cancer but it's out of our control and we have to just move forward. I wish you the best of luck on your journey and hope you get your BFP soon! Stay strong. :)
    Me: 37 DH:41
    10/2009 - TTC#1 Stopped BCP! Let's DO this!
    1/2010 - BFP (Natural) --> 10/2010 - DS born! Yay!
    12/2010 - DH diagnosed with stage 3B testicular cancer. #cancersucks
    10/2011 - Complications with DH and lymph nodes in groin area removed. No longer able to ejaculate.
    1/2014 - TTC#2 - IUI#1. No luck. Findings: DH sperm did not survive freeze. RE recommends IVF with ICSI.
    3/2014 - IVF Cycle #1 Started BCP
    4/2014 - Lupron, Gonal-F, and Menopur
    5/7/2014 - ER day (25 eggs retrieved, 15 mature)
    5/10/2014 - 6 fertilized, 3 embryos frozen - one grade A and two Grade B. Plan was to grow out to blastocyst stage but rest of eggs arrested by day 3. Decided to freeze on day 3.
    2/9/2016 - FET #1 with Grade A (8 cell - 3 day embryo); 2/20 - Beta was <5. BFN.  :/ Waiting for period and start next FET.
    7/8/2016 - FET #2 with Grade B (8 cell - 3 day embryo), fingers crossed this one sticks. :)
    7/19 - Beta was 74. BFP!!!!; 7/21 - Beta was 182; 1st U/S on 8/2; 2nd U/S on 8/16 :)

    BabyFetus Ticker
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  • FlamingemuFlamingemu member
    Hi, welcome. I am sorry you are feeling guilty. I understand being in a conservative church, but I also think they need to stay out of your bedroom. Don't think of your church, if they don't support it, you can always find another one. Have a long talk with your higher power, your DH, and do what is best for your little family. No one would ever know you had IUI or IVF to conceive if you didn't tell them. Good luck with everything.

    Kid #1 - 09/03/12
    Kid #2 - maybe???
    Diagnosed with Severe Ashermans 
    Hysteroscopy #10 - scar tissue grew back reblocking my right tube
    #11 or IVF with scarring still inside?
    1 lone embryo from September 2016 retreival, dx with Trisomy 16, starting fresh
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