Women in my family rolling their eyes at my birth plan.

SharonB222 · July 2015

I wanted to birth under and tree, or do a water birth. If I had done so my family would have been supportive. My mother, MIL and sister did home births. But given my age and history of pg complications I chose med-free in the birthing center of a hospital - the 2nd time I labored in water but per policy delivered in bed (with m/w so it was a happy enough balance for my circumstances). So my family was disappointed. LOL - We just can't win.

perrysaurus · August 2015

I'm sorry you are experiencing this! This is my second pregnancy and DH and I have a planned home birth water birth with two midwives / or midwife and nurse depending who's on call. I avoid talking about it with anyone but my mom and sister. Everyone has so many opinions, but no true educational background in any of the topics to hold an actual conversation.
Surprisingly, acquaintances and other friends have been much much more supportive than my own family (in laws mainly).
I'm not even telling anyone, other than my mom and sister, that we are in labor when it hits. I will be turning off my phone volume and ignoring all incoming calls/messages until I'm ready to invite over family.

You can do it! I wish you the best experience and strength♡

nz113 · August 2015

I have been receiving the exact same type of comments. They always condescend me that "you don't get an award you know.." or, "my baby was perfectly fine, what are you trying to prove?" My advice? Do what I do. I tell everyone who says anything negative to me that it's my decision and I'm not asking you to understand it, but I am asking you to respect it. I absolutely agree with you about the breast feeding and complications from the epidural, which is why my husband and I are leaning towards a natural birth. Do what feels right for you, and forget everyone else's comments. It's your baby, your birth plan, and your moment, not anyone else's.

EmilyXLC · August 2015

I'm actually really worried about the same thing... I used to live in a state where home births weren't particularly legal-- now that I live in a state that allows it, I want to do it. I had an incredibly traumatic hospital birth with my first... But I'm really worried about dealing with the same thing that you are. All I can say is stick to your guns-- you know what's best for you & your little one(s).

AtchleyK · August 2015

You will absolutely be able to handle a natural birth since that is what you want & it's important to you! Our bodies are made to give birth without all the intervention people this is necessary. I'm so sorry you haven't received support. Don't get down! Maybe tell them that your mind is made up and you would really appreciate support? I understand, I’m pregnant with our fist and have decided natural birth at a birthing center. People love to give me their opinions & think I’m crazy. Some even say I will change my mind. We can do this!!!

LIly436 · November 2015

I agree, that it is best to keep your plans private. You will only be able to say after the birth if you made a right decision, because every woman's experience and pain tolerance is different. I had such a traumatic natural birth, that next time I would not repeat it. Ever

HepCat · December 2015

I found that with a lot of things about being pregnant, it's better to not give others info (and respond vaguely if they ask). Anything from name to if you are planning to breastfeed, co-sleep, circumcise, etc. Everyone else is going to have their opinion. If you want any of your family members pregnant at your birth, it may be worth a quick chat that you've made your decisions, and they can either respect them or absent themselves.

jmknox · January 2016

Do not let them discourage you! Having a natural med free water birth at a birth center was the most empowering thing I have done in my life! My family all disagreed (husbands family too) and thought I was crazy. My MD sister even begged me to switch last minute back to a hospital. I had a great set of midwives, great doula, my husband was 110% on board with it and we took the Bradley classes together (with other like minded couples) and it was exactly the way I wanted it, THAT WAS ALL I NEEDED. I went in as prepared as I could possibly be. The family was notified once I was at the birth center and in transition/pushing. The families got there as I was pushing (they heard some hollering -and were freaked out) but they were all brought back right after I had the baby. Once they saw how calm and serene everything was and how alert and happy I was -- THE ENDORPHINS ARE AMAZING-- they finally respected it. There is no questioning this second time around. Good luck to you OP!

jmknox · January 2016

i second watching The Business of being Born!!!

schweitz · February 2016

I know how you feel and it sucks when people try and talk you out of your decisions and act like they know what's best for your baby. You know what you are doing though and at this point you should just prove them wrong. Show them you made a decision, you are sticking with it and YOU know what is best for you and your baby. You CAN do it and you will be the one telling them "I told you so!"

Women in my family rolling their eyes at my birth plan.

Re: Women in my family rolling their eyes at my birth plan.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards