Taking a Break from temping and OPKs?

chloe97 · February 2016

I had lunch with a friend who is also TTC, but she is on cycle 4 after coming off the pill. She suggested taking a break and concentrating on real life. She thinks temping, opks, etc is making me crazy and in the end doing worse things for my sanity and probably messing up my cycle. My acupuncturist thinks that I should just focus on "enjoying my husband" every 3-4 days. I am deathly scared of giving up the temping data. I'm also worried that I just end up being crazier when AF is expected, but doesn't come. Has anybody been dealing with this longer term (like more than 3 months) and have any insight? I just can't keep on with this kind of pressure.

Maybe I will convince H to get a dog.

NamelessAria · February 2016

I've been temping and using OPKs for 7 months, or 4 after loss. I definitely have no intentions of giving up the extra data. But I know myself and I know not having the extra information would make the crazier than having it does. My cycles aren't exactly super regular (ovulation sometime between CD15-20 with a LP somewhere between 13-16 days) so when AF is "late" I'd be losing it. Plus, there is the very real chance if I don't temp to confirm O that I'll be caving and testing at what I think is 11DPO but is actually 5DPO or something.

However, that's what I do and what works for me. You have to do what is right for you. If you think you need a month off from temping and OPKing and such then by all means take a month (or more!) off and destress a little.

There is no right or wrong answer to whether or not you should keep temping and using OPKs. You just have to do what you think will be the best thing for you. And you may not know right now what will be best but there is no harm in making your best guess and going with it for a month. If you think you may be better off taking a temping/OPK break then I'd say go for it. If at the end of the month you realize that you're even more crazy without the data then just start back next month. If you get to the end of the month and you're pleasantly surprised by how much less stressful everything was then I'd say maybe extend the break from temping and OPK.

BornReady · February 2016

I have been temping since 2012 and temped 13 cycles before getting pregnant. I've also started up again after this miscarriage in November on and off. I definitely think it has the potential to make anyone crazy and obsessive about something that we ultimately have very little control over. For me it has always been good data, I like that I know when to expect AF and I like knowing what my body is doing. It also helped me feel better capable/informed advocating for myself in the process of infertility testing.

That said, I try not to let it consume me, both then and now. As I've mentioned before the two times I got pregnant were the months I only had O & O and O+1 timing. I currently rely on OPKs to do my timing, because with busy lives it's helpful to give my DH a heads up that we are in the window and I like temping to see the temp rise so we know when we can take the focus off of it. I try not to get too emotionally invested in it.

What helped me get through my first bout of temping was inputting my temp and walking away for the day. No staring at my chart, no obsessively comparing them, nothing. Input the data, walk away and have a plan to test on 15 DPO if no AF. No early testing. I also recommend taking breaks during AF and even during your luteal phase once you feel confident you have confirmed ovulation. The real goal of temping is to confirm ovulation and if you feel better about seeing a temp drop and knowing AF was coming, good for you, but for me it made me feel like crap.

After that long-winded response, I think you have to do what works for you and feel free to tweak it to whatever meets your needs with the least impact on your mental health and life. There is no right way to do this.

chloe97 · February 2016

Thanks @BornReady and @NamelessAria You both hit the nail right on the head- I don't know if not having the data to know when I ovulated and therefore when to expect AF would actually be any better than what I am doing now, obsessively peeing on sticks that won't give me any new results and literally losing sleep over temping. I wish that they could just develop a thermometer that took my temperature while I was sleeping that I don't have to be awake for. What usually happens is that I wake up at some god awful hour and take my temperature and then obsess about what it means so I have no chance of falling back to sleep.

NamelessAria · February 2016

I wish that they could just develop a thermometer that took my temperature while I was sleeping that I don't have to be awake for.

Soon!

BrightenMySky · February 2016

I gave up temping, never used OPKs. I don't sleep well as it is, and worrying about temping (would I get enough consecutive hours of sleep for it to be reliable, would I remember when I woke up, etc.) didn't help things. FWIW, my RE did not say that temping was super important and said not to worry that I wasn't doing it. Before we started fertility treatments (about 1 year TTC, maybe a little more), I was more focused on cm and aiming for every other day in the right window once I gave up temping.

I think you should pick what's best for you. I have no doubt that some people do better having all the data points, but the trade off was not worth it for me. If you want to try it out, why not stop temping for one cycle, and if you find you prefer the info, pick it back up your next cycle (unless you get pregnant, of course

). Concentrating on real life, relaxing, enjoying, etc., are all nice, but not how you get pregnant, so do what works for you.

megsbrock · February 2016

I had one month when TTC first pregnancy where I said to hell with the OPKs....but we didn't get pregnant, and I didn't know exactly when to expect AF, so the break for me wasn't really relaxing.

However to me temping seems like more work and a big thing for me is how it impacts sleep...maybe your body would enjoy a month off from temping, even if your mind doesn't. Hmmm.

if you do take a month off, try not to beat yourself up too much at the end if the lack of data stresses you out. At least you tried it.

queenklau · February 2016

I had the same comments when I would share it with non-TTCAL friends. I have had 2 losses and only after the second I started temping. I am 2 cycles post MC and I have decided to stop. For me, it just made ttc the focus of the day. I couldn't do it anymore, so I stopped halfway through this cycle. I continue to chart, BD, CM and AF, which I can measure/note at any time, but I can't start the day obsessing over this. It's too draining.
I agree with others, it is up to you. Just don't let it take over your life. If it is the only topic of conversation between DH and you, then it's a problem in my book.

Neikoda · February 2016

chloe97 said:

I had lunch with a friend who is also TTC, but she is on cycle 4 after coming off the pill. She suggested taking a break and concentrating on real life. She thinks temping, opks, etc is making me crazy and in the end doing worse things for my sanity and probably messing up my cycle. My acupuncturist thinks that I should just focus on "enjoying my husband" every 3-4 days. I am deathly scared of giving up the temping data. I'm also worried that I just end up being crazier when AF is expected, but doesn't come. Has anybody been dealing with this longer term (like more than 3 months) and have any insight? I just can't keep on with this kind of pressure.

Maybe I will convince H to get a dog.

I took a break from everything for about two months after my loss and recently started back up. DH and I actually got a puppy after our second loss. We've been wanting to but after the loss, there was no reason to wait. It gave me something else to focus on and made a happy addition to our little family. Also, I've been only allotting myself a certain amount of time to go crazy with TTC stuff. It's hard, but if you allow certain parts of your day without it, it makes it easier to disconnect every once in a while.

jlo1019 · February 2016

I haven't temped consistently at all. After this month and my crazy CM, I might start. It might help me feel like I'm in more control. But I could easily "slip to the dark side" and get obsessed. I hope you make a decision that is best for you too. Maybe a month or so off will focus you on what you really want to do; continue to temp or go by faith. Good luck to you on what you decide!

chloe97 · February 2016

@nwegman7878 I've been begging H for a puppy and he keeps saying no. Yesterday I brought up the exact reason you mentioned- to distract me from my struggles. We live in a 2 BR condo and H is adament about a big dog though.

@jlo1019 I have definitely gone to the dark side. I'm sleeping so poorly and I partly blame temping!!

GhanimaAtreides · February 2016

@chloe97 Well, TTC can go from a 3min/day routine into a full-time hobby if you let it. The trick is to draw the line where it feels satisfactory and still healthy. You have to decide what's best for you.

As you've probably already heard, I switched to day-temping (1hr same time every afternoon, lay on the couch and get my screen fix, no eating or drinking, temp at the end) and I sleep like a baby now. No waking at 3am with anxiety being unable to wait to see what my temp is going to do that day. No million variables swinging my temps wildly, no temps I'd rather trash because I messed something up. It's a half-step in what used to be an all-or-nothing temping situation.

I still catch myself staring at my chart as if simply looking at it will speed things up or change something. It's about as effective as staring at the microwave cook-time to get it to ding faster. As previous posters stated, allot only a certain amount of time per day and be done with it. Set an alarm on your phone if you have to. I find it helps to follow my crazy TTC-obsessing session with a walk outside, in the real world, or call a friend where I forbid myself from talking about TTC. It's incredibly relaxing and I can just let it go.

Pinterest has wonderful suggestions for TWW bucket-lists that you can easily extend into WTO & FW too. The distractions really make the time go faster.

Neikoda · February 2016

@chloe97 We live in a 2B/2B townhome and got a Siberian Husky. We luckily have a bit of a yard outside but he does great here.

BornReady · February 2016

@GhanimaAtreides I'm so intrigued with this day-temping you speak of! I have never heard of anyone doing it. How'd you get into it? I'm off to do research...

GhanimaAtreides · February 2016

@BornReady TBH, I made it up, but it works for me... Ok, it's not TOTALLY fabricated. I've had Paraguard IUDs for the past 12 years or so. No hormones... the copper is a spermicide so I keep ovulating in the background the entire time. Over 12 years I've had plenty of medical appointments. During which I always have my temp taken and asked my LMP. I've noticed that my temps either were clearly follicular-phase or <98.3 or so or luteal-phase or >98.5.

So I made the leap that if I can tell by my temp which part of my cycle I'm in in the middle of the day, that BBT wasn't all there was in regards to charting temps. I mean, I had CRAZY temping anxiety before and post-loss it was even worse. I didn't even want to temp my first TTCAL attempt but I'm a bit of a control freak. So I experimented with day temps last cycle with few controls (the laying down for an hour, same time of day, no eating or drinking) and what do you know... I still had a biphasic chart, no problem!

I just don't recommend it if you're new to temping. I mean, I have plenty of charted cycles on & off over several years, so I know what to look for and such. I have the data to be able to tell what's normal or not. Plus when I overlay my day-temped charts over my BBT charts pinning on cover line and ovulation, you really don't see a difference at all. Here's an example, I can only overlay 7 at a time:

catiecatp · February 2016

@GhanimaAtreides - that's really interesting - if I get to a point where I have more cycles tracked I may switch to a daytime method for a month or two to see how it goes. Though I sleep like crap anyways so I don't know if it will really help me.

BornReady · February 2016

@GhanimaAtreides Wow, that's pretty impressive. Good for you for figuring out something that works better for you! I would have loved something like this back when I was consistently temping/ttc #1.

chloe97 · February 2016

@ghaniafatima I love this! I wish I could lay down for an hour during the day. Do you think it would work when I was laying on the couch watching TV at night?

I tried taking my temperature this morning when I woke up at 4:30 and not looking at it. Did not work- the simple act of reaching for it and putting it in my mouth was enough to awaken my brain. I laid in bed for an hour wondering what it could be before I finally looked- it was still too low. So that of course made me upset and I got up and POAS and of course still flashing smiles and now just a faint line on a WONDFO. I have to wait this cycle out just so I have the data. I meet with an RE the day after I should started AF. If I really I don't ovulate, it probably will be moot. I may stop completely next cycle depending on what she says.

GhanimaAtreides · February 2016

I think it could totally work at night once you're on the couch for a show or whatever! I was going to switch to evenings, but 12:30-1:30 I actually have the house to myself and can watch *my shows*. It's only a little weird on the weekends but I try to plan around it.

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