Need to vent: future SIL texted @ 10am "my mom and I are on our way" I'd just gotten DS down for a nap, fiancé and I were cleaning, unshowered...and she wasn't kidding. Who the heck drops in on new parents at 10am on a Saturday? >:(
ETA the mother only burped DS once during his bottle and then told me "babies need to cry it out" when he started screaming
I sympathize! Mine do this a few times a week lately! It didn't bother me at first but it's starting to drive me crazy. They ask if its ok but are always already on their way and are five minutes down the road! It's to the point where I lock the doors (they don't have a key) just so I'm not half naked when they get here. However that means they knock, which makes the dog bark, which has started to wake LO up now. Arrgghh.
Also. I am really pissed at my family for being mad that I've not driven 5 hours (one way) to let my two grandmother's see LO. He is 7 weeks old!! Do people really not understand why that is a ridiculous request? If my aunt suggests one more possible date for us to drive down I'm going to go insane!
Need to vent: future SIL texted @ 10am "my mom and I are on our way" I'd just gotten DS down for a nap, fiancé and I were cleaning, unshowered...and she wasn't kidding. Who the heck drops in on new parents at 10am on a Saturday? >:(
ETA the mother only burped DS once during his bottle and then told me "babies need to cry it out" when he started screaming
Seriously why do SILs and MILs think this is okay??? My MIL was over for a planned visit when DD and I weren't feeling well. I told her she could stay for a "little bit, like 1 hour" and she stayed for 3! Not only that... Mid visit she tells me my SIL and her boyfriend were on their way. I was pissed and she knew it. I told her that she should have asked me first but she kept justifying it saying SIL was really excited and it's only for a little bit.... Then she tells me to call DH and tell him to park in the street (she parks in his garage space) or to not come home from work yet so they could stay longer. I'm still pissed about it. No more visits for her. From now on I'm bringing DD to her so we can leave when we want to. Maybe I'll invite my friends to her house when I'm there and see how she likes it.
My MIL passed away unexpectedly last week. I would give anything to have her around. 6 weeks just wasn't enough time with her and DD. Cherish every moment, you just never know!
I'd like to add, also, my sil STILL has yet to meet my dd. She's 2 months old. Sil is in a "new" relationship after her hubbys passing (passed 3 yrs ago, relationship for 2 yrs) & is apparently so wrapped up with him she's neglecting every other part of her life (mil's interpretation). She hasn't even "liked" a photo on Facebook. How would you handle that? She's dh's only sibling
@blended10 whenever you do have any communication with her or her mother say something like "SIL needs to come meet this baby before she's in college" with humor, if she doesn't take the hint there's nothing you can say or do, she's made her priorities clear. I'm sure your MIL has said something about it, but there's no point in getting upset because she's missing out on a relationship with her niece
@amye02 unfortunately dh has said exactly that to her & she just says "ha ha I know, right?" It's true it's her that missing out. I'm at a total loss. It's so not her nature. I asked her about Easter (she's hosted the last 15 years) & she's like "idk what I'm doing" okkkk?
I'd like to add, also, my sil STILL has yet to meet my dd. She's 2 months old. Sil is in a "new" relationship after her hubbys passing (passed 3 yrs ago, relationship for 2 yrs) & is apparently so wrapped up with him she's neglecting every other part of her life (mil's interpretation). She hasn't even "liked" a photo on Facebook. How would you handle that? She's dh's only sibling
I wouldn't "do" anything about it. Ball is in her court, and trying to force it will only frustrate you, not her.
@blended10 my own brother has not seen his niece either and she is 2 months. Doesn't care, doesn't ask me anything about her. And same with my SIL. But I don't let it get to me. It's their choice, if they don't care to ask or visit, it's okay with me, because it's not affecting the baby. I could be upset about it but I don't let it get me down, because the people who want to visit and spend time with her do just that.
It it may hurt a little but don't let it get you upset. It's on them, and the best thing you can do is forget it and live life for your family!!
@amye02 unfortunately dh has said exactly that to her & she just says "ha ha I know, right?" It's true it's her that missing out. I'm at a total loss. It's so not her nature. I asked her about Easter (she's hosted the last 15 years) & she's like "idk what I'm doing" okkkk?
My brother also has yet to meet his nephew, he'll be 2 months this week. I consider it their loss. Another part of me gets really mad and wants to avoid them should they ever decide to make an effort to come the twenty minutes to our house.
My in laws have been amazing. My mom has been the crazy one, I feel bad for my husband for having to deal with it.
Well sil must have sensed my dismay bc she sent me an email saying she was sorry she'd been MIA. I am glad she reached out but she didn't really offer an explanation or solution. i told her my door was always open & we were happy to come to her if given the invitation. We'll see. @amye02 she does have an 18-yr-old son
Need to vent: future SIL texted @ 10am "my mom and I are on our way" I'd just gotten DS down for a nap, fiancé and I were cleaning, unshowered...and she wasn't kidding. Who the heck drops in on new parents at 10am on a Saturday? >:(
ETA the mother only burped DS once during his bottle and then told me "babies need to cry it out" when he started screaming
I sympathize! Mine do this a few times a week lately! It didn't bother me at first but it's starting to drive me crazy. They ask if its ok but are always already on their way and are five minutes down the road! It's to the point where I lock the doors (they don't have a key) just so I'm not half naked when they get here. However that means they knock, which makes the dog bark, which has started to wake LO up now. Arrgghh.
Also. I am really pissed at my family for being mad that I've not driven 5 hours (one way) to let my two grandmother's see LO. He is 7 weeks old!! Do people really not understand why that is a ridiculous request? If my aunt suggests one more possible date for us to drive down I'm going to go insane!
Dhs family, except for his parents, all live a 6hr drive away. They are so pissed we won't drive down there. No. If you want to meet the baby, you come to us. Don't expect me to drive that far with a newborn.
I posted in different thread about how insensitive my in laws were. It got even worse after the baby was born!! I told them that I needed 24 hours after the baby was born to get settled. Then, I was induced and labored for three days. On the 4th day, I had a c-section. The FIL texted 1 hour after the baby was born to ask to see her. We had labored all night and had the baby at 6:30 in the morning. I reminded him of the 24 hour period I repeatedly asked for. He texted my husband and said "we don't care about HER. Roll the baby out into the hallway." We ended up compromising and seeing them in the evening....pee bag, puffy face, IV and all..not how I imagined myself seeing the first visitors. The second night after the baby was born, I was still relying heavily on my hubby...he was having to take care of ME and the baby. He went to dinner with his father while my mom stayed with me. His father told him that he needed to go home for the night (and leave me alone with a two day old who had her days and nights mixed up.)
We were then in the hospital another 3 days (totaling a week). At dinner the first night out of the hospital, I was talking about my recovery and he says "You know in some parts of Africa, women will tie themselves to a tree, give birth, and then untie themselves and go back to work. Just saying." He said this to me after spending a week in the hospital.
I have to see these people next week and my husband wants me to put everything in the past and be happy happy. The truth is, I am extremely hurt, frustrated, and on guard.
I posted in different thread about how insensitive my in laws were. It got even worse after the baby was born!! I told them that I needed 24 hours after the baby was born to get settled. Then, I was induced and labored for three days. On the 4th day, I had a c-section. The FIL texted 1 hour after the baby was born to ask to see her. We had labored all night and had the baby at 6:30 in the morning. I reminded him of the 24 hour period I repeatedly asked for. He texted my husband and said "we don't care about HER. Roll the baby out into the hallway." We ended up compromising and seeing them in the evening....pee bag, puffy face, IV and all..not how I imagined myself seeing the first visitors. The second night after the baby was born, I was still relying heavily on my hubby...he was having to take care of ME and the baby. He went to dinner with his father while my mom stayed with me. His father told him that he needed to go home for the night (and leave me alone with a two day old who had her days and nights mixed up.)
We were then in the hospital another 3 days (totaling a week). At dinner the first night out of the hospital, I was talking about my recovery and he says "You know in some parts of Africa, women will tie themselves to a tree, give birth, and then untie themselves and go back to work. Just saying." He said this to me after spending a week in the hospital.
I have to see these people next week and my husband wants me to put everything in the past and be happy happy. The truth is, I am extremely hurt, frustrated, and on guard.
There's more in-law drama, but this is enough!
Any advice on how to keep the peace?
Omg! I feel so sorry for you, that's such a horrible thing for them to say, "we don't care about HER" its your baby! Where your baby goes you go. I'd have your husband have a sit down with them, if they can't respect the mother of their grandchild than they have no business being around. They seriously need to relax. Maybe they need to educate themselves on the recovery of a c-section.
@NewMom42 Wow! First I wanna ask if your husband addressed the rude behavior from the hospital? If not he needs to, that's his father and he needs to stand up and say something. Second, after all that is say screw keeping the peace. Your FIL seems like a real ass to be honest and his rude comments seem totally intentional. If your husband doesn't say something I think you have full rights to stand up for yourself and do what you need to do to be respected by your FIL
@newmom42 I'd quote some infant mortality rates and maternal mortality rates for the undeveloped countries your FIL is referencing, if he brings it up again. That entire situation needs to be addressed by your DH that is not okay!
I posted in different thread about how insensitive my in laws were. It got even worse after the baby was born!! I told them that I needed 24 hours after the baby was born to get settled. Then, I was induced and labored for three days. On the 4th day, I had a c-section. The FIL texted 1 hour after the baby was born to ask to see her. We had labored all night and had the baby at 6:30 in the morning. I reminded him of the 24 hour period I repeatedly asked for. He texted my husband and said "we don't care about HER. Roll the baby out into the hallway." We ended up compromising and seeing them in the evening....pee bag, puffy face, IV and all..not how I imagined myself seeing the first visitors. The second night after the baby was born, I was still relying heavily on my hubby...he was having to take care of ME and the baby. He went to dinner with his father while my mom stayed with me. His father told him that he needed to go home for the night (and leave me alone with a two day old who had her days and nights mixed up.)
We were then in the hospital another 3 days (totaling a week). At dinner the first night out of the hospital, I was talking about my recovery and he says "You know in some parts of Africa, women will tie themselves to a tree, give birth, and then untie themselves and go back to work. Just saying." He said this to me after spending a week in the hospital.
I have to see these people next week and my husband wants me to put everything in the past and be happy happy. The truth is, I am extremely hurt, frustrated, and on guard.
There's more in-law drama, but this is enough!
Any advice on how to keep the peace?
I'm so sorry you had to go through that! PP is right he needs bitch slapped! Personally I think if they can't be nice and RESPECT you at least then they can't see the baby simple as. So yes they can come over but oh what a shame you've "already made plans that can't be cancelled" (go out have a coffee with the babe or go to a friends house) and tell your husband you'll be back when he starts defending you to his father because it's not fair on you at all!!
My baby has a pacifier in her mouth. I own not one pacifier for her. Why is it in her mouth? Because Grandmother in law put it there. Don't get me wrong... my first two used pacis. My two year old is still attached to hers. I didn't even want to start using one with my new precious bundle because it was so hard to stop the other two from using one. "Ohh, I think I've started something". No crap. You've started exactly what I didn't want. Now excuse me, folks, while I go grab my baby and walk back down to my home (only 70 or so yards away).
My husband and I are pretty young so we're living with his parents until we have enough money saved to move out (it's going to be like next year sometime). My husband works out of state 5 days a week and honestly I don't know what I would do without my in-laws! They're such great help with my son but they aren't overbearing and they do every thing exactly as I tell them to and they let us have our alone time. But it's awesome to know that if my son won't give me a chance to wash bottles or shower or whatever during the day, I have their help if I need it in the evenings once they're off work. Especially since I had a c-section, those first few weeks were difficult and I'm glad I didn't have to recover completely alone because I had them to help. I actually have more issues with my real parents than my in-laws!!!
We moved out of state last month and MIL is constantly bugging DH for new pictures/videos of DD. DH got a text last night and after he rolled his eyes said, "Ugh, Mom's getting all sappy! She keeps watching that bath video we sent and said," looks down at phone and says in a fake old lady voice... "Isn't it amazing what your love produced?" Bahaha!!! We had a good laugh and came up with some pretty good comebacks, but he never sent them. His whole family is like that... Very sappy and constantly saying things like "magical" and "amazing." And waiting for me to just ooze love and mush. I feel like Miranda from Sex and the City when she tells people she's having a boy and they all freak out and expect her to do the same.
I love my in-laws! They are all so different but most of all family oriented. They do everything for the kids. They have helped me in more ways than one! No problems here
My MIL just called my husband to complain that she hasn't been "invited back" to see us (we saw her 3 weeks ago, she lives hours away)... Uhh, when she was here last we picked the first weekend in April for them to visit, and she just forgot! My husband's parents are divorced so we have three sets of grands, all of whom want time with us, and now she's clearly been resenting me for "not inviting her to visit" when we set a date weeks ago! UGH
I have to revive this one. My MIL says the most hurtful yet backhanded things, all the time, in regards to my parenting, but this one makes me furious. My sister in law just told me of a conversation she had with MIL, where SIL was mentioning that baby was cranky when we visited SIL on Easter weekend. SIL said she didn't mind and understood that baby was cranky after having his routine disrupted and being around so many extended family and she knew baby boy just wanted his mom. MIL responds with, oh I don't think that's the problem, he doesn't know who's holding him, that doesn't matter. That the baby doesn't prefer me over relative strangers (aunts and uncles he's met a couple times). Excuse me??? He's nearly 4 months old you don't think he knows and prefers his own MOTHER??? She says a similar thing to me all the time, if he's crying when held by her or FIL and won't stop, I say "here I'll take him and calm him down". She'll respond with "he's not hungry, you just fed him, what can you do that I can't" like I'm only a good source and not his main source of comfort and affection. Ahhhhhhhhh. Needed to vent. She is a passive aggressive monster in law.
I have to revive this one. My MIL says the most hurtful yet backhanded things, all the time, in regards to my parenting, but this one makes me furious. My sister in law just told me of a conversation she had with MIL, where SIL was mentioning that baby was cranky when we visited SIL on Easter weekend. SIL said she didn't mind and understood that baby was cranky after having his routine disrupted and being around so many extended family and she knew baby boy just wanted his mom. MIL responds with, oh I don't think that's the problem, he doesn't know who's holding him, that doesn't matter. That the baby doesn't prefer me over relative strangers (aunts and uncles he's met a couple times). Excuse me??? He's nearly 4 months old you don't think he knows and prefers his own MOTHER??? She says a similar thing to me all the time, if he's crying when held by her or FIL and won't stop, I say "here I'll take him and calm him down". She'll respond with "he's not hungry, you just fed him, what can you do that I can't" like I'm only a good source and not his main source of comfort and affection. Ahhhhhhhhh. Needed to vent. She is a passive aggressive monster in law.
Is she serious? Sorry but what a twatwaffle of course he knows his mama, "what can you do I can't?" I would respond with "everything"
I have to revive this one. My MIL says the most hurtful yet backhanded things, all the time, in regards to my parenting, but this one makes me furious. My sister in law just told me of a conversation she had with MIL, where SIL was mentioning that baby was cranky when we visited SIL on Easter weekend. SIL said she didn't mind and understood that baby was cranky after having his routine disrupted and being around so many extended family and she knew baby boy just wanted his mom. MIL responds with, oh I don't think that's the problem, he doesn't know who's holding him, that doesn't matter. That the baby doesn't prefer me over relative strangers (aunts and uncles he's met a couple times). Excuse me??? He's nearly 4 months old you don't think he knows and prefers his own MOTHER??? She says a similar thing to me all the time, if he's crying when held by her or FIL and won't stop, I say "here I'll take him and calm him down". She'll respond with "he's not hungry, you just fed him, what can you do that I can't" like I'm only a good source and not his main source of comfort and affection. Ahhhhhhhhh. Needed to vent. She is a passive aggressive monster in law.
Is she serious? Sorry but what a twatwaffle of course he knows his mama, "what can you do I can't?" I would respond with "everything"
Total twatwaffle. And she of course never says these things in front of hubby so he thinks I'm exaggerating. He knows she can be mean but doesn't see the half of it. She raised children of her own, does she not remember them depending on her? And the worst is she totally thinks she is a nice person and has no idea how hurtful she is. I'm going to say something next time she says anything awful to me. I'm over trying to keep the peace. My SIL stood up for me and argued that, yes, babies know and love their mama's most in the whole world. Sometimes a girl just needs a little validation from strangers on the Internet to keep her from losing her shit!
Ugh now it's my mom who is making me insane! My parents live about an hour flight away, and my mom has been trying to come visit once a month or so. This last time she was here she kept making comments like "you need a better bra" (ummm it's a nursing bra and my boobs are huge, it's hard to find ones that fit properly, give me a break) and then I was leaning over the changing table kissing my daughter and she made a comment about "the view" (my butt).... I really don't think she knows how much these little digs about my body are killing me. I'm heavy to begin with, and my body still seems so foreign after having DD, and her comments just really hurt me so badly. I'm already so insecure about my body, and these comments coming from her make it even worse. If I say anything though she'll get so defensive and basically blame me for being too sensitive, so it's not even worth the fight to tell her how much it hurt my feelings.
I'm having a melt down just reading those comments @babyA4242 if I were you I would give them a piece of your mind with every Comment made. That is so inappropriate!
I'm having a melt down just reading those comments @babyA4242 if I were you I would give them a piece of your mind with every Comment made. That is so inappropriate!
I would tell her to stop immediately with the backhanded comments or she can only see her grandkid supervised. Grandparents have no rights. Especially when they're behaving like that.
My inlaw situation is MUCH better. My MIL lets herself in now but only to really drop off things she thinks we could use which, come on, I can't get upset at that. Even though it's too much stuff, that makes me laugh more than anything.
I'm angry right now about the broader situation of their son moving us here and the whole family insisting we live close even though HIS parents fly free because of his status and MY parents don't fly free and can't afford to fly all the time. We can fly to them but i have to work.
So i feel like his entire family are really adept at always getting their own way. I agreed to move here but we moved here to USA on the understanding that when our first was born, his mum would retire. Free childcare is nothing to sneeze at.
Instead now what i have is a MIL who won't stop working, a husband who doesn't work more than 8 overnights a month and now a house that i own. The only people who ARE retiring? MY PARENTS.... grr..
I really like my job here. I have made a few friends. I'm responsible for my own choices. But knowing that i was asked to move here under false pretenses so his family could stack up a little more privilege, sort of pisses me off.
But no, day to day, my inlaws are good. They understand what i'm going through with my husband. They're really good with Olive. She loves them. So that is invaluable.
I'm having a melt down just reading those comments @babyA4242 if I were you I would give them a piece of your mind with every Comment made. That is so inappropriate!
I would tell her to stop immediately with the backhanded comments or she can only see her grandkid supervised. Grandparents have no rights. Especially when they're behaving like that.
Where don't grandparents have rights? In South Dakota grandparents do I rights.... My friends ex boyfriends parents (confusing I know) just took my friend to court because she wasn't letting them see there grandson... I'm not being snarky or anything just general Curiosity.
I'm having a melt down just reading those comments @babyA4242 if I were you I would give them a piece of your mind with every Comment made. That is so inappropriate!
I would tell her to stop immediately with the backhanded comments or she can only see her grandkid supervised. Grandparents have no rights. Especially when they're behaving like that.
Where don't grandparents have rights? In South Dakota grandparents do I rights.... My friends ex boyfriends parents (confusing I know) just took my friend to court because she wasn't letting them see there grandson... I'm not being snarky or anything just general Curiosity.
Are you surevthey have rights, i have never heard of any state recognizing grandparent rights. They can certainly take the parents to court, but that is usually a scar tactic. The court will side with the prents unless their judgment is impaired or they are an otherwise unfit parent.
My SIL met DS over Easter after blasting on social media that we were hiding him from her. Let's see... She was three hours late because her two oldest children had lice She told me that her daughter was small like my son for the first six months (she smoked copiously during pregnancy and I am told she popped every kind of pill there is) She barely acknowledged my son that she had been so mad about not meeting yet Her and her daughters seemed displeased that we didn't spend a bunch of money on them
The son was also completely ignored by HmDHs dad and brother. The only one who got to enjoy him was DHs grandmother.
I'm having a melt down just reading those comments @babyA4242 if I were you I would give them a piece of your mind with every Comment made. That is so inappropriate!
I would tell her to stop immediately with the backhanded comments or she can only see her grandkid supervised. Grandparents have no rights. Especially when they're behaving like that.
Where don't grandparents have rights? In South Dakota grandparents do I rights.... My friends ex boyfriends parents (confusing I know) just took my friend to court because she wasn't letting them see there grandson... I'm not being snarky or anything just general Curiosity.
Are you surevthey have rights, i have never heard of any state recognizing grandparent rights. They can certainly take the parents to court, but that is usually a scar tactic. The court will side with the prents unless their judgment is impaired or they are an otherwise unfit parent.
Every state is different. Here in MI grandparents have no rights. But I know some states they do.
Well, I've definitely posted many times about my crazy inlaws... But I'll give a little vent about my step father in law.
They are only recently married (about 4 years?) after my DH's dad passed away like 8 years ago. And my SFIL makes me want to punch the wall. He is so boring and so know-it-all it drives me crazy. I feel so sorry for my DH who really tries to like him, but I know he kinda wishes he was not in our lives. Whenever, and it happens often, SFIL has an opinion on my baby, I don't even acknowledge it. And whenever DS starts to cry in his arms, I take him away immediately. If I have to hear one more time about how my child "has gas" I'm going to lose it. It's like a personal insult, as it feels like they don't think he is burped enough. Argh.
Anyways, I am a Christian and so is SFIL but he is constantly pushing religion on us. As if we're not "good enough" at it. He gives me "books I may enjoy" every time I see him and they are on "how to become a better Christian." Like seriously? ARGH. It's so passive aggressive it's ridiculous.
Well, I've definitely posted many times about my crazy inlaws... But I'll give a little vent about my step father in law.
They are only recently married (about 4 years?) after my DH's dad passed away like 8 years ago. And my SFIL makes me want to punch the wall. He is so boring and so know-it-all it drives me crazy. I feel so sorry for my DH who really tries to like him, but I know he kinda wishes he was not in our lives. Whenever, and it happens often, SFIL has an opinion on my baby, I don't even acknowledge it. And whenever DS starts to cry in his arms, I take him away immediately. If I have to hear one more time about how my child "has gas" I'm going to lose it. It's like a personal insult, as it feels like they don't think he is burped enough. Argh.
Anyways, I am a Christian and so is SFIL but he is constantly pushing religion on us. As if we're not "good enough" at it. He gives me "books I may enjoy" every time I see him and they are on "how to become a better Christian." Like seriously? ARGH. It's so passive aggressive it's ridiculous.
Your SFIL sounds exactly like my SO's dad. I could (barely) tolerate him and his passive comments about how we should raise him Catholic (despite me or SO not being Catholic) constantly thinking he thinks he knows what my baby wants more than me etc.
But he made this comment back about a month ago that I just couldn't even anymore. Baby was sleeping in his pram in the living room and I was on the couch, SO's dad went over to baby and said "oh he's not breathing!!" I obviously freaked a bit until he was like "hahaha kidding wanted to see how you'd react" Like (excuse my language) who the fuck does that? I'm still mad about it
I'm having a melt down just reading those comments @babyA4242 if I were you I would give them a piece of your mind with every Comment made. That is so inappropriate!
I would tell her to stop immediately with the backhanded comments or she can only see her grandkid supervised. Grandparents have no rights. Especially when they're behaving like that.
Where don't grandparents have rights? In South Dakota grandparents do I rights.... My friends ex boyfriends parents (confusing I know) just took my friend to court because she wasn't letting them see there grandson... I'm not being snarky or anything just general Curiosity.
Are you surevthey have rights, i have never heard of any state recognizing grandparent rights. They can certainly take the parents to court, but that is usually a scar tactic. The court will side with the prents unless their judgment is impaired or they are an otherwise unfit parent.
Depending on the case yes the grandparents do have rights. But At the same time a judge can perminatly terminate them as well in South Dakota.
Your SFIL sounds exactly like my SO's dad. I could (barely) tolerate him and his passive comments about how we should raise him Catholic (despite me or SO not being Catholic) constantly thinking he thinks he knows what my baby wants more than me etc.
But he made this comment back about a month ago that I just couldn't even anymore. Baby was sleeping in his pram in the living room and I was on the couch, SO's dad went over to baby and said "oh he's not breathing!!" I obviously freaked a bit until he was like "hahaha kidding wanted to see how you'd react" Like (excuse my language) who the fuck does that? I'm still mad about it
Okay, I would totally flip! How does he expect you to react???
Re: In Laws - How is Everyone Doing?
Also. I am really pissed at my family for being mad that I've not driven 5 hours (one way) to let my two grandmother's see LO. He is 7 weeks old!! Do people really not understand why that is a ridiculous request? If my aunt suggests one more possible date for us to drive down I'm going to go insane!
My MIL was over for a planned visit when DD and I weren't feeling well. I told her she could stay for a "little bit, like 1 hour" and she stayed for 3! Not only that... Mid visit she tells me my SIL and her boyfriend were on their way. I was pissed and she knew it. I told her that she should have asked me first but she kept justifying it saying SIL was really excited and it's only for a little bit.... Then she tells me to call DH and tell him to park in the street (she parks in his garage space) or to not come home from work yet so they could stay longer. I'm still pissed about it. No more visits for her. From now on I'm bringing DD to her so we can leave when we want to. Maybe I'll invite my friends to her house when I'm there and see how she likes it.
She hasn't even "liked" a photo on Facebook.
How would you handle that? She's dh's only sibling
It's true it's her that missing out. I'm at a total loss. It's so not her nature. I asked her about Easter (she's hosted the last 15 years) & she's like "idk what I'm doing" okkkk?
It it may hurt a little but don't let it get you upset. It's on them, and the best thing you can do is forget it and live life for your family!!
My in laws have been amazing. My mom has been the crazy one, I feel bad for my husband for having to deal with it.
i told her my door was always open & we were happy to come to her if given the invitation. We'll see.
@amye02 she does have an 18-yr-old son
We were then in the hospital another 3 days (totaling a week). At dinner the first night out of the hospital, I was talking about my recovery and he says "You know in some parts of Africa, women will tie themselves to a tree, give birth, and then untie themselves and go back to work. Just saying." He said this to me after spending a week in the hospital.
I have to see these people next week and my husband wants me to put everything in the past and be happy happy. The truth is, I am extremely hurt, frustrated, and on guard.
There's more in-law drama, but this is enough!
Any advice on how to keep the peace?
Personally I think if they can't be nice and RESPECT you at least then they can't see the baby simple as. So yes they can come over but oh what a shame you've "already made plans that can't be cancelled" (go out have a coffee with the babe or go to a friends house) and tell your husband you'll be back when he starts defending you to his father because it's not fair on you at all!!
"Ohh, I think I've started something".
No crap. You've started exactly what I didn't want. Now excuse me, folks, while I go grab my baby and walk back down to my home (only 70 or so yards away).
DS#1 born 02/19/2013
Ahhhhhhhhh.
Needed to vent. She is a passive aggressive monster in law.
She raised children of her own, does she not remember them depending on her? And the worst is she totally thinks she is a nice person and has no idea how hurtful she is. I'm going to say something next time she says anything awful to me. I'm over trying to keep the peace.
My SIL stood up for me and argued that, yes, babies know and love their mama's most in the whole world.
Sometimes a girl just needs a little validation from strangers on the Internet to keep her from losing her shit!
I'm angry right now about the broader situation of their son moving us here and the whole family insisting we live close even though HIS parents fly free because of his status and MY parents don't fly free and can't afford to fly all the time. We can fly to them but i have to work.
But no, day to day, my inlaws are good. They understand what i'm going through with my husband. They're really good with Olive. She loves them. So that is invaluable.
I'm not being snarky or anything just general Curiosity.
She was three hours late because her two oldest children had lice
She told me that her daughter was small like my son for the first six months (she smoked copiously during pregnancy and I am told she popped every kind of pill there is)
She barely acknowledged my son that she had been so mad about not meeting yet
Her and her daughters seemed displeased that we didn't spend a bunch of money on them
The son was also completely ignored by HmDHs dad and brother. The only one who got to enjoy him was DHs grandmother.
They are only recently married (about 4 years?) after my DH's dad passed away like 8 years ago. And my SFIL makes me want to punch the wall. He is so boring and so know-it-all it drives me crazy. I feel so sorry for my DH who really tries to like him, but I know he kinda wishes he was not in our lives. Whenever, and it happens often, SFIL has an opinion on my baby, I don't even acknowledge it. And whenever DS starts to cry in his arms, I take him away immediately. If I have to hear one more time about how my child "has gas" I'm going to lose it. It's like a personal insult, as it feels like they don't think he is burped enough. Argh.
Anyways, I am a Christian and so is SFIL but he is constantly pushing religion on us. As if we're not "good enough" at it. He gives me "books I may enjoy" every time I see him and they are on "how to become a better Christian." Like seriously? ARGH. It's so passive aggressive it's ridiculous.
I could (barely) tolerate him and his passive comments about how we should raise him Catholic (despite me or SO not being Catholic) constantly thinking he thinks he knows what my baby wants more than me etc.
But he made this comment back about a month ago that I just couldn't even anymore.
Baby was sleeping in his pram in the living room and I was on the couch, SO's dad went over to baby and said "oh he's not breathing!!" I obviously freaked a bit until he was like "hahaha kidding wanted to see how you'd react"
Like (excuse my language) who the fuck does that?
I'm still mad about it