Ok I know I sound totally lame but what did your husbands do while they were off work with you? I totally understand if you have older children but if it is your first did they help with chores all day, handle the baby while the mom rested or something else entirely? I imagine myself just holding, nursing and sleeping with the baby all day for the first few weeks - it's ok if you all tell me I'm crazy, I seriously don't know! Lol
Ah I don't know how to get out of typing in the gray quote box lol. My husband hardly has any time at home, so he hast plenty he wants to do; check stocks, catch up on odds and ends that need to be done, outdoor projects, laundry, relieve me of some of the cooking. Then, with new baby here; bond, let me rest, have family/friends come by, workout, take over some of the cleaning I do (hopefully)
Another idea - how about if your husband takes off one week when the baby is born and then a second week when it is your first week back to work? That way you can keep the baby home for an extra week and it'll be nice to have someone at home your first week back. Your family popping in those first few weeks will be nice. When my daughter was born, the best thing anyone could have done for me was to take a baby for a walk. I could nap at home and if she was crying or upset (for a reason other than needing a feeding), I had no idea !
BFP 02/03/12, EDD 10/13/12, Missed m/c 03/15/12 @9w5d (measured 7w1d) They weren't kidding when they said "Beware the Ides of March"
Ok I know I sound totally lame but what did your husbands do while they were off work with you? I totally understand if you have older children but if it is your first did they help with chores all day, handle the baby while the mom rested or something else entirely? I imagine myself just holding, nursing and sleeping with the baby all day for the first few weeks - it's ok if you all tell me I'm crazy, I seriously don't know! Lol
It honestly some of the best weeks of our lives as we were just getting used to being a family of three. So much bonding time as a family, movies, napping, and cuddling. I was also nursing all the time and there were more than a few occasions where my husband was literally feeding me while I was nursing.
I wish DH could take more time off but as of now,he is planning to take a week off. If I end up with a c section or anything unexpected he will take more of necessary.
While we were both home with DD we spent a lot of time just hanging out together. DH did most of the household chores while I mainly took care of DD (I flet like alls I did the first couple of weeks was nurse and change diapers). However there would be times when I would be ready to pull my hair out when she got cranky or wouldn't sleep and he would come and rescue me and take her (or vice versa). It was also nice to be able to take a nice long shower or get a second away from her. We watched a lot of TV and finished a few projects around the house, though not as many as DH had been hoping for.
DH definitely used the time to bond with her too, though I do think they bonded more later (after she really started showing her personality she became a huge daddy's girl). It also took a lot of time for him to get comfortable with her. What seemed to come to me naturally took him a week or two to get the hang of (he still really hates dressing her and she usually stays in her pj's when he's watching her for the day).
DH took about a week off, which was all he had saved up at his (then) new job. It was just enough, but I would have been overwhelmed if my mom and dad hadn't come to help. DS was a premie, and we had to rent bili lights and keep him on the unit 24/7 for several days (lucky he didn't have to go back to the hospital). I really needed another person to help me adjust to a sick newborn and being off bed rest after two months of not being able to even walk around. I say the more leave, the better!
I had a c-section and DH only took a week, that's all the paternity he got and I wanted him to save his other vacation week for our actual vacation a few weeks later. I was actually totally fine by myself physically, but one more week would have been nice just to help get acclimated, so before I even read your post I was going to suggest 2 weeks.
my son was born on a Saturday morning and we were discharged from the hospital on Monday. My husband went back to work on Wednesday. he was sad to leave us, but he owns his business so it's imperative that he be there.
Just because your husband goes back to work right away doesn't mean that he won't be able to bond with baby. and he can still be an involved dad if he has to work. pp implied otherwise and I think that's just craziness.
When I was pregnant with DS my due date was on a Monday, so DH took two weeks off starting that Monday that I was due. Well, turns out the little guy decided to stay in there an extra week and decided to come out the following Monday at 41 weeks, yey. So DH spent the whole first week fretting all over me waiting for me to go into labor, the poor guy. Then once I gave birth, I got home that Wednesday and he only had Thurs-Sunday at home with us. Plus to make it even sadder, my in-laws were staying with us since they were living in North Carolina at the time. So not only did I have my in-laws staring at me for a week waiting for labor, but they left the day before DH went back to work, so I had ONE DAY with just us three alone.
It was not the best situation at all in terms of having quality time with my husband. They would have stayed longer but I remember on the way to the doc with DS I started crying in the car and begged him to tell them to go home, I couldn't take them being in my house a moment longer.
THIS TIME AROUND: I told DH to work until I go into labor, especially since my doc said I could go over my due date again. He'll be taking two weeks again, which I am looking forward to. As an extra bonus, no one will be staying with us and I will be telling everyone (meaning our parents) to limit their visits since DH will be there. I want to squeeze as much time with us as a family as I can before he has to go back to work.
Last time I went in to be induced on a Tuesday night and we had her Wednesday night. We went home Saturday morning and DH went back to work that following Monday. This time I'll have a scheduled c section so one good thing about that is we can plan this birth down to some of the last details, as long as nothing unexpected pops up. I'm more worried about this time because I'll be breastfeeding, we bottle fed DD which made things easier. We switched every other night with the wakings but unless I get a good supply pumping then I'm in for all the nights.
My first daughter was born and I was not in a relationship, so I did it alone. With my second daughter, I had her on a Friday and he went back to work that Monday. I don't want to say it is easy, but I found that with all of the sleeping newborns do, it wasn't unmanageable to get what I needed done. I do have a friend who had a c section and she needed her husband or family members at the house for the whole 6 week recovery since she couldn't lift and was sore.
Re: Advice from STMs? How much time should DH take off?
It honestly some of the best weeks of our lives as we were just getting used to being a family of three. So much bonding time as a family, movies, napping, and cuddling. I was also nursing all the time and there were more than a few occasions where my husband was literally feeding me while I was nursing.
DH definitely used the time to bond with her too, though I do think they bonded more later (after she really started showing her personality she became a huge daddy's girl). It also took a lot of time for him to get comfortable with her. What seemed to come to me naturally took him a week or two to get the hang of (he still really hates dressing her and she usually stays in her pj's when he's watching her for the day).
Baby #2 due 8/11/2016
Just because your husband goes back to work right away doesn't mean that he won't be able to bond with baby. and he can still be an involved dad if he has to work. pp implied otherwise and I think that's just craziness.
The Rowdy Roberts
It was not the best situation at all in terms of having quality time with my husband. They would have stayed longer but I remember on the way to the doc with DS I started crying in the car and begged him to tell them to go home, I couldn't take them being in my house a moment longer.
THIS TIME AROUND: I told DH to work until I go into labor, especially since my doc said I could go over my due date again. He'll be taking two weeks again, which I am looking forward to. As an extra bonus, no one will be staying with us and I will be telling everyone (meaning our parents) to limit their visits since DH will be there. I want to squeeze as much time with us as a family as I can before he has to go back to work.