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May 2016 Moms
TheHauntedHauswife
member
A FTM's list of people I am already mad at.
TheHauntedHauswife
member
Am i the only FTM who is already preparing myself for all the people who are going to annoy me once i give birth?
I was watching that show 'rattled' today and the one girls mother was driving me nuts. If you've seen it you know who im talking about it.
It got me thinking about all the people i'm already mad at....
all the people who are going to try and put their germy mouths on my newborn,
and the ones who are going to grab my baby while shes babyworn and strapped right against my boob,
and the strangers who are going to try and tickle her feet to wake her up in public while im rushing just to run an errand,
and the family members who are going to tell me im spoiling her, or i need to do this or that or a general attitude of thinking they know better,
and the people who are going to judge my attachment parenting oriented belief system,
and the family members who think they have a place of entitlement in any number of ways....
FTMs? Is there anyone you are already mad at/annoyed with?
[Note: I realize this is a little ranty, but hey this is a great place for other hormonal ladies to empathize, right? lol]
I was watching that show 'rattled' today and the one girls mother was driving me nuts. If you've seen it you know who im talking about it.
It got me thinking about all the people i'm already mad at....
all the people who are going to try and put their germy mouths on my newborn,
and the ones who are going to grab my baby while shes babyworn and strapped right against my boob,
and the strangers who are going to try and tickle her feet to wake her up in public while im rushing just to run an errand,
and the family members who are going to tell me im spoiling her, or i need to do this or that or a general attitude of thinking they know better,
and the people who are going to judge my attachment parenting oriented belief system,
and the family members who think they have a place of entitlement in any number of ways....
FTMs? Is there anyone you are already mad at/annoyed with?
[Note: I realize this is a little ranty, but hey this is a great place for other hormonal ladies to empathize, right? lol]
Re: A FTM's list of people I am already mad at.
As for who will annoy me; I know will most definitely be one of my SIL's, who has never had a child before but is a know it all.
And people who say 'I'm going to be his aunt' and I'm just like, nooooo, you are not related and can't just make yourself his aunt - it does not work like that.
Annoys the crap out of me - I wish I could lock him up from the world until he's bigger! Protect him from all the idiots.
Jirre, I am a crazy person haha.
DH is who I think will be most protective though. He's watched Rattled with me a couple times and he gets angry every time someone touches the newborns. He notices every time when someone didn't use hand santitizer first. Papa bear might be more ferocious.
DD: 05/14/16
Also, one of my uncles likes to touch my belly without asking (no one's allowed to but DH), and yells obnoxiously at my tummy so the baby will hear him. I can't help giving him crazy looks when he does stuff like that, and I think he's starting to back off, but seriously!
If these people aren't respectful now, I can only imagine what it'll be like when they can actually interact directly with the kid.
Charissadeats DH pretty much calls all of our friends aunt and uncle, and im just like. no thats really confusing and unecessary! I am also totally of the opinion that i would really like to lock her up from absolutely everyone for a while. I've literally considering putting a sign on my door that says no visitors.There is nothing that is going to infuriate me more than people showing up at my house unannounced cause they want to see the baby. Um what if shes sleeping? What if im mid-breast feed? What if i just havent showered in 4 days and dont feel like entertaining?
Charla1224 I hope DH gets it. He goes to me for he advice cause he doesnt know at all so i need to do the research on my end and then spell it out for him. But i could totally see him being alone with his mother or someone with the baby (not for a looonngg time) and just taking their advice without really thinking it out. >.<
Yeah i definitely need to work on finding my comfort level with speaking up. I have been trying to do so for a while now cause no one is going to be acting that way in my delivery room. If its my own mother, shes getting yelled at. If its DHs mom i expect hes going to handle it. Once we are home and anyone is being annoying or rude i plan to just take DD and lock ourselves in her room upstairs. The way our house is set up its definitely like a bigger deal for someone to just go upstairs cause its very secluded from the rest of the house so if someone follows me up there i feel a lot more justified telling them to leave me alone. So i mean that will likely be my main at-home tactic, but i definitely need to keep working on finding comfort in speaking up.
People that tell me what I should and should not register for when I did not ask. i.e. the other night our neighbors were asking us some of the stuff we were thinking about registering for. We mentioned crib sheets/crib set. She then proceded to tell us that we should not register for that b/c we might end up with Thomas the Tank Engine and a little girl did not need to be sleeping on Thomas the Tank Engine sheets. She asked us not to turn our little girl into a boy. WTF?!?!?!?! My DH and I both LOVE trains and would not mind Thomas the Tank Engine. My kid will play with whatever toys she wants to. Plus I doubt an infant knows what is on her sheets. I'm a tomboy so I have no problem with boy themed stuff as well as some girl themed stuff. I plan to avoid the Frozen craze however.
First Pregnancy
Second Pregnancy
- BFP: 09/11/2015
- EDD: 05/25/2016
Baby Born04/15/2016
PGAL
We don't have to worry about DH's folks because his father avoids the hospital like the plague (and practically faints every time he has to go into one) and his mother is amazing about giving us our space even though they live ten minutes away.
But I'd never thought about what *my* parents would want. So on the way home from class I called my dad, and asked him if he thought he or my mom would want to be there for the birth. He practically choked and said (and I quote), "No! God no! Why would anyone... who would ever... I've never heard of such a... I can't imagine anything more inapp... Why on earth would anyone want to be in the delivery room with you?"
I love my folks so much sometimes.
Crazy SIL might try something, but she's so flaky I can't imagine she'll get her act together to arrive before we've left.
@Charissadeats - YES, I have a friend that keeps telling me how excited she is to be "Auntie L" to my baby. I have other friends who had a baby and every time they have a friend visit, they refer to the friends as their babies aunts/uncles, and that's cute, because they're the ones giving us those names... but this I can't handle. She doesn't even live in town, will probably see the baby like three times a year... and I have a sister who will be my baby's Aunt, and in my opinion that's a pretty special thing and not something that you just declare yourself to be. It's probably super well-intentioned too, but annoys me so much.
-People who are going to be around the baby all the time and don't want to get whooping cough vaccinations (I have to deal with this with my in-laws)
- @nerdymama15 and yes to everyone who tries to tell you that it's going to hurt at all! Is there anyone on this planet that's unaware that labor hurts and pregnancy is not super comfortable?
-My MIL is constantly telling me to eat things I don't want - telling her I don't like it doesn't work, because that family (including my husband) doesn't care about taste if they think something's good for you. Definitely bracing myself for all the things she tells me to eat while I'm BFing/recovering, and the things she wants my baby to eat or whatever even when she's an infant... she already told me I should send her over to Hawaii with her for a month this fall, because it's a great place for a baby to be (she did that with my husband... because it was her own baby... she does not see how me sending my baby away to Hawaii with a grandmother is different than someone taking their own baby there)....
Dang, it's easy to get rant-y here. Stopping before it gets out of control.
I'm a really chill person but I know I'm going to be really over protective especially at first.
Ive done a ton of research on things, so I think it will be really annoying when people try to impose their parenting views on me.
Oh and yes to the gross people that think it's ok to kiss my baby.. Not ok!! Lol
Im sure when i am in the situation 20-30 years from now and DD is having a baby im sure i will understand it more, but as of now i completely dont! - I have SPD, My baby is splitting my pelvis in half. PLEASE by all means, tell me what to do with her when she comes out. Cause i definitely don't deserve to choose what i feel is best for her after i go through all of this to keep her healthy and safe right? >.< People are just horrible.
Everytime I bring up something we registered for or purchased (Ex: Britax Marathon car seat), she says, "Well, I don't know how you survived since I never had any of these things." She's said this this about literally everything from baby carriers, to diaper rash cream, to nipple cream. I've done a ton of research, I read everything, I take opinions/experiences from any expert that will give me the time of day and it feels like she just minimizes everything.
Then, she feels the need to one up me! I dragged her, my husband, and my grandparents to a child and infant cpr class Saturday morning (this was the result of her telling me how I stopped breathing as an infant, so she shook me.) Then when I have to rush to the bathroom during the break, she pronounces how she didn't need to go to the bathroom, unlike me and my 80 year old grandparents. My husband points out that I'm 28+ weeks pregnant and she remarks how she didn't even need to go to the bathroom when she was pregnant with me.
SERIOUSLY, I mean, seriously?
I hope to God that times change even more between when we have our kids and when they have kids.
@Ibachran That is insane. You can one up her by telling her that you have friends (I talk about the bump ladies as "my friends" because it's easier than explaining internet people) that have moms that ask for their list of pregnancy complaints, sympathize and hug them, and then feed them desserts. Not trying to rub it in, but that's what my mom does, and you should explain to your mom that this is what cool moms do when their daughters are pregnant, not try to compete with them on who can hold their bladder longer.
@mrstmoose, I literally try and deal with her exclusively via text or with the buffer of DH in person. You're brave, I gave up on the phone calls a few weeks ago.
My sister started annoying me with baby advice even BEFORE I got pregnant (and before she had her own kid), so now that she has her own and I'm expecting, that's just going to be real fun. My mom is just gross and I get stressed out just thinking about her being around my baby, much less kissing her.
Just curious - do people expect to hold the baby right away at the hospital? I think I might have a meltdown if someone tried to take him off me within the first 24 hours. Is it the norm in mom code to say you can come look but don't expect to pass LO around like a party favor?
Lusitano8 Im honestly curious about that too! My SIL passed her newborn off to me pretty damn soon after she was born and she was being passed around the room. Which sounds like my worst nightmare. But i also have respect and did nothing but hold her in my arms and stare down at her for a bit. No kisses, no hand eating, etc. I cant remember with my cousin how soon it was until i ended up holding him, but not as quick as it was with my niece, but there were way to many friggin people that showed up there, idk how she didnt lose her shit cause shes a lot more sensitive than i am but she probably didnt know what to do.
I really just dont want people in the hosptial unless im there a few days. The maybe the last day they can come. 1 at a time...
I think the best moms/MILs are ones that have had bad experiences themselves, and want to be careful to impose them on other people. My mom always talks about the time a woman came to visit that she didn't like that much, and how she let her hold the baby (my sister), but wouldn't give her back for like a half hour, and how panicked and terrible that made her feel, so she never asks to hold a baby, just waits and hopes it's offered.
Also, when I got my first puppy 8 or 9 years ago, my parents came to visit me at school during parents weekend. A ton of people were there, which made my dog super nervous and excitable, which made him drink massive amounts of water. My mom kept giving him more and more water, saying that dogs only drink like that if they're extremely dehydrated, and acted super nervous about him, while I begged her to stop, explaining that he was just nervous, and it was making my life miserable because he wasn't fully potty-trained yet so it also made him pee everywhere inside all the time. This went on for two days until finally I said, "Mom, is this how you're going to be when I have kids?" She got this look of horror, fell over apologizing, and then went and got me an "I'm sorry" gift. I am worried about a lot of people, but my mom is not one of them!
Plus her and even my mom yell at me for doing too much and then don't actually offer any solutions for how I am to just not do things! Shut up or help me.
Also I got pooped on at work by a patient in the shower today.
Both of them have annoyed me during pregnancy and they will continue to do so afterwards.
On the plus side: They live on the other side of the planet. YAY. But still.... GGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRR
The first thing they'll do is comment on baby's weight (it's probably going to be too fat for their liking since they're both weight obsessed) and then they'll proceed to tell me off about my weight.
F. .. o......
At least as mom you hold some power.... Don't mess with me... if you wanna see baby....
I'm nervous about the idea that we might be meeting my hubby's dad's new girlfriend in May- while dealing with a newborn. What if I don't like her? What if she starts trying to tell me what to do and I flip out on her, etc.? (I'm much more opinionated and outspoken than his family is used to in wives/women). We are ok with his Dad coming- but I don't want that to be the first time we meet his girlfriend, my hubby is already going to be stressed enough, he doesn't need to deal with that on top of being a first time dad WHILE missing his mom horribly (she passed away in September). I'm trying to convince DH that if the girlfriend is going to come in May then they HAVE to come out before then to help my comfort/stress level.
The only person on my shit list right now is he store clerk that yesterday was shocked when I said I'm due in May, and had the nerve to ask me if I'm sure it's not twins. The best part- I was doing a store visit for the company I work for and hadn't announced yet I was visiting from corporate. After he insulted my weight I let that slide in there. He couldn't get away from me quicker at that point and is probably worried I'll report him for being unprofessional to what he thought was a customer. Come to think of it, maybe I should....
The other person I know will annoy the crap out of me after the baby comes is my sister in law and her freaking dog! She is a super know it all and super entitled, and acts like this dog is her child - don't get me wrong, I love my dog to pieces, but she lets it do whatever the hell it wants and jumps on people and is trying to crawl up into your lap as your eating dinner. And all she does is yell at it, especially in the middle of dinner which is super disruptive and rude, yet makes no attempt to discipline it to teach it to sit or go lay down. Then just says how much of a "brat" she is and asks my ILs if she wants to keep her. Hell no, no one wants to keep your shitty little dog. I have no clue how I'll bring an infant around without this a-hole dog trying to jump on her or play with her toys. I've already told my Husband that I'll probably lose my shit on his sister after the baby comes if she doesn't do something about her dog. I have seriously considered punting this dog across the house lately anytime it's around me because that's all it does is jump on me and scratch with it's long claws. Pregnancy/momma bear mode has turned me into a wanna be dog punting monster!
ETA: I don't actually condone punting dogs, or any animal abuse. I love dogs, this dog in particular just makes me ragey and this was an easy outlet for those frustrations - I know the SIL is responsible for the dog's behavior.