@Knottie2891384 & @mrstrax I agree that it was weird... She added an E to it, which for some reason a lot of people do.... Ivey... She never did that when we worked together either.
My BFM goes out to the five people who told me over the weekend that I owe it to them to reveal the sex and name of our baby because they have no intention of buying anything off the registry (because apparently they don't "do" registries) and want to get something that they would rather get. I'm not looking for handouts and I certainly appreciate anyone who's willing to shower my child with a gift but I registered for things that I actually needed and would rather folks get something off the registry that took me an hour and half to put together.
I think I'm really starting to get over this pregnancy thanks to all the people around me and their ignorant comments. I really just want to scream right now.
Girl have you been reading my posts for like this entire pregnancy??? Also, read my BFM for the week, lol. I will say that most of what I received at my shower was not on my registry, but everyone (with the exception of one person) got really sweet and well thought out gifts for us. In the end it can be very frustrating to have a wish list that is completely ignored, and it hurt my feelings deeply that it was ignored, but some of the items I did receive I never would have thought to purchase on my own.
I'm still in the "buy off the registry, if you aren't making something" camp, but that really boils down to who you are/how you were raised. The last wedding shower I went to I actually did both. I made a set of pillow covers that matched their wedding colors (Tardis blue) and got them some picture frames off their registry. It wasn't much, and I'm pretty sure I was unemployed at the time, but the pillows are actually sitting on her couch at her house, so I guess I did well there
Yeah, I definitely don't want to come off as ungrateful as people are spending their hard-earned money on my child, but it's still frustrating nonetheless. Thank goodness I have you ladies to vent to and understand my plight
Dh cousin is due a a week before and having a c sec @39wks. Cool no big deal. But family is making it seem like it's a race to see who will actually have baby first. she is dialating i guess. I have some complications, just want to get as close to edd as possible and don't care if my baby comes first or not.
I hate this. This is one of the major reasons we didn't announce on FB. With DD we were due around the same time as a lot of our friends and it was so frustrating to have everyone go into labor but have nothing happening on my end.
My cousin and I were six weeks apart in our due dates and everyone made a huge deal about how cool it was they would be so close. It was her second my first. She went into labor the same day as my induction and family was actually taking bets as to who would have the baby first. She ended up with a 32+hr labor and so they are born almost two days apart. Of course she stole the spotlight. Definitely a ffc but I was thankful Dd was such a good baby and she struggled with everything even though she was one of those stms who are always amazing no matter what she did.
Not announcing on social media was one of the best decisions I feel like I have made so far.
A close friend of mine that lives out of state has had three surprise babies and it still weirds me out when you know absolutely nothing about it, and one day you wake up to a baby announcement... Three times... And it never comes up in conversation... Even when you tell her you're pregnant... Idk. I find it odd to keep something like that a secret, but to each their own.
@briterfly84 that boy will thank you when he's older and understands what you did for getting his teeth fixed. My in laws never took any of their kids, nor themselves, to regular dental checkups or to fix cavities while growing up. I've had my husband in multiple times to get things fixed and it's almost complete. Everytime he goes in he starts to resent his parents for neglecting his teeth all those years. So your stepson will definitely appreciate what you're doing for him when he gets older and understands
My BFM is that my baby shower had to be cancelled due to a blizzard a few weeks ago. My mother had planned it and it was going to include all of the women on my side of the family. Because my mother flies south for the winter, we didn't have the ability to reschedule.
When the other one was cancelled, my MIL offered to throw a us a shower in March and include all of my relatives as well. However, we're getting closer and closer to March and, while DH did help her send out electronic save-the-dates, she still hasn't even ordered invitations, let alone plan anything else. I'm getting the sense that I'll be putting together this shower myself plus trying to avoid stepping on her toes, which is just extra stress I don't need right now.
I know that a baby shower is a privilege not a right and I should be grateful that not one but two people offered to throw us one, but I'm at work on President's Day and feeling whiny.
Dh cousin is due a a week before and having a c sec @39wks. Cool no big deal. But family is making it seem like it's a race to see who will actually have baby first. she is dialating i guess. I have some complications, just want to get as close to edd as possible and don't care if my baby comes first or not.
I hate this. This is one of the major reasons we didn't announce on FB. With DD we were due around the same time as a lot of our friends and it was so frustrating to have everyone go into labor but have nothing happening on my end.
My cousin and I were six weeks apart in our due dates and everyone made a huge deal about how cool it was they would be so close. It was her second my first. She went into labor the same day as my induction and family was actually taking bets as to who would have the baby first. She ended up with a 32+hr labor and so they are born almost two days apart. Of course she stole the spotlight. Definitely a ffc but I was thankful Dd was such a good baby and she struggled with everything even though she was one of those stms who are always amazing no matter what she did.
Not announcing on social media was one of the best decisions I feel like I have made so far.
A close friend of mine that lives out of state has had three surprise babies and it still weirds me out when you know absolutely nothing about it, and one day you wake up to a baby announcement... Three times... And it never comes up in conversation... Even when you tell her you're pregnant... Idk. I find it odd to keep something like that a secret, but to each their own.
My pregnancy is not a secret and if you are that close to someone, it IS odd they didn't tell you they were pregnant. I just don't need all the random high school classmates on FB to know about it. Just because it is not on FB doesn't mean it is "secret".
Dh cousin is due a a week before and having a c sec @39wks. Cool no big deal. But family is making it seem like it's a race
A close friend of mine that lives out of state has had three surprise babies and it still weirds me out when you know absolutely nothing about it, and one day you wake up to a baby announcement... Three times... And it never comes up in conversation... Even when you tell her you're pregnant... Idk. I find it odd to keep something like that a secret, but to each their own.
We announced with #1 on FB and it was fine. But we decided this time around to wait. DD2 wasn't planned and at the time we found out, one of our close friends were pregnant and lost the baby at 16 weeks. She was pretty bitter to anyone making pregnancy announcements so that was one of our biggest reasons.
I can see announcing if your fb page was all family and close friends. Mine is work friends and people from volunteer groups.
With DD1 I went late and every day from the week before to the day I was induced people were asking about when DD would show up. It was torture, especially since it was from people I didn't know well. I don't really want to do that again.
Dh cousin is due a a week before and having a c sec @39wks. Cool no big deal. But family is making it seem like it's a race
A close friend of mine that lives out of state has had three surprise babies and it still weirds me out when you know absolutely nothing about it, and one day you wake up to a baby announcement... Three times... And it never comes up in conversation... Even when you tell her you're pregnant... Idk. I find it odd to keep something like that a secret, but to each their own.
We announced with #1 on FB and it was fine. But we decided this time around to wait. DD2 wasn't planned and at the time we found out, one of our close friends were pregnant and lost the baby at 16 weeks. She was pretty bitter to anyone making pregnancy announcements so that was one of our biggest reasons.
I can see announcing if your fb page was all family and close friends. Mine is work friends and people from volunteer groups.
With DD1 I went late and every day from the week before to the day I was induced people were asking about when DD would show up. It was torture, especially since it was from people I didn't know well. I don't really want to do that again.
We announced both DS and this LO, but we waited until about Thanksgiving to say anything. LO wasn't planned, and we were hoping to not have competition issues again by announcing early. With DS, my SIL tried to say she was a little ahead of me, but didn't have her first doctors appointment until February. She then changed her EDD from June/July to end of September. We also wanted to avoid stealing any attention at a wedding that DH was the best man for in October. I did everything I could to hide the fact that I was 3 months pregnant. We announced on Facebook since most of our friends on Facebook are family and close friends.
This time around we only announced due month versus the entire due date, so people would stop asking if there was any progress. DS was born before his EDD, but the weeks before it were annoying...
I get so tired of reading the "everyday is Valentine's Day" posts on FB. Ok. We get it. We know. Your SO should make you feel special throughout the year and not just on one day. If you don't celebrate it, that's fine; but don't look down on others because they decided to go out to have a nice dinner, or got some roses and breakfast in bed, etc. It's funny that the same people don't go around saying this, don't say anything about Christmas or their birthdays...ijs.
I think February 29 needs to be a bigger deal. How is that not a huge holiday? It only comes every 4 years. Christmas, Valentine's Day, etc. come every stinkin' year!
I totally get what you're saying! It really should be celebrated LOL. I just get tired of posts like this:
"Happy ordinary day to my husband, XXX! I'm looking forward to us doing absolutely nothing today! I love you more everyday, and thanks for loving me back, even when it's not February 14th. ❤ To all of you who got suckered into spending a fortune today, enjoy making the restaurants and chocolate factories rich today!"
I get so tired of reading the "everyday is Valentine's Day" posts on FB. Ok. We get it. We know. Your SO should make you feel special throughout the year and not just on one day. If you don't celebrate it, that's fine; but don't look down on others because they decided to go out to have a nice dinner, or got some roses and breakfast in bed, etc. It's funny that the same people don't go around saying this, don't say anything about Christmas or their birthdays...ijs.
I think February 29 needs to be a bigger deal. How is that not a huge holiday? It only comes every 4 years. Christmas, Valentine's Day, etc. come every stinkin' year!
I totally get what you're saying! It really should be celebrated LOL. I just get tired of posts like this:
"Happy ordinary day to my husband, XXX! I'm looking forward to us doing absolutely nothing today! I love you more everyday, and thanks for loving me back, even when it's not February 14th. ❤ To all of you who got suckered into spending a fortune today, enjoy making the restaurants and chocolate factories rich today!"
To me, a post like this deserves an #eyeroll
I'm looking forward to DS being old enough to do homemade Valentine's Day cards, but that's about it. I despise what adult Valentine's Day has become. There are too many people telling their SO what they better do for them, and that's just not cool with me. The gift bragging is also obnoxious. I also don't think you should spend a fortune on Christmas gifts (I hate Christmas because of similar reasons to Valentine's) or birthday gifts. The only day I think that really deserves special attention for couples? Their anniversary. I think you should celebrate when you made a commitment to be with and love each other for the rest of your lives.
I get so tired of reading the "everyday is Valentine's Day" posts on FB. Ok. We get it. We know. Your SO should make you feel special throughout the year and not just on one day. If you don't celebrate it, that's fine; but don't look down on others because they decided to go out to have a nice dinner, or got some roses and breakfast in bed, etc. It's funny that the same people don't go around saying this, don't say anything about Christmas or their birthdays...ijs.
I think February 29 needs to be a bigger deal. How is that not a huge holiday? It only comes every 4 years. Christmas, Valentine's Day, etc. come every stinkin' year!
I totally get what you're saying! It really should be celebrated LOL. I just get tired of posts like this:
"Happy ordinary day to my husband, XXX! I'm looking forward to us doing absolutely nothing today! I love you more everyday, and thanks for loving me back, even when it's not February 14th. ❤ To all of you who got suckered into spending a fortune today, enjoy making the restaurants and chocolate factories rich today!"
To me, a post like this deserves an #eyeroll
I'm looking forward to DS being old enough to do homemade Valentine's Day cards, but that's about it. I despise what adult Valentine's Day has become. There are too many people telling their SO what they better do for them, and that's just not cool with me. The gift bragging is also obnoxious. I also don't think you should spend a fortune on Christmas gifts (I hate Christmas because of similar reasons to Valentine's) or birthday gifts. The only day I think that really deserves special attention for couples? Their anniversary. I think you should celebrate when you made a commitment to be with and love each other for the rest of your lives.
^^this! I avoided social media yesterday because I could not handle the bragging of gifts. While we did celebrate it was late last night because DH was gone and it was just with cards. I don't get why so many people get behind the holiday when flowers, chocolates and cards are triple what they usually are.
Dangit, announcing just the due month is a much better idea than the day. We've told people the day and I can only imagine how irritating some of my extended family members are going to be when it comes time.
For VDay this year, DH and I decided to take the kids to pick out something small for each other. DD did ask yesterday afternoon if I had something I wanted to give her for valentines day. I responded that I give her all my love and that's what the day is about! It's a tough concept for a kid when they hear their friends getting all kinds of gifts, and I'm not against the gift giving by any means, but trying to teach the "its better to give than receive" lesson is more important at this age! Besides, her dad and SS's mom both went way over the top with gifts. And the kids love their VDay Sundaes every year.
For VDay this year, DH and I decided to take the kids to pick out something small for each other. DD did ask yesterday afternoon if I had something I wanted to give her for valentines day. I responded that I give her all my love and that's what the day is about! It's a tough concept for a kid when they hear their friends getting all kinds of gifts, and I'm not against the gift giving by any means, but trying to teach the "its better to give than receive" lesson is more important at this age! Besides, her dad and SS's mom both went way over the top with gifts. And the kids love their VDay Sundaes every year.
What's a V-Day sundae? Is it a normal sundae but you eat it on V-Day or is there more to it? I love sundaes
I almost didn't post today because I didn't want anyone to think I was being gift grabby and bitchy
I don't think this is gift grabby and bitchy at all. Terrible, horrible, no good very bad gift!!!
edited to add @ImpatientPatty that makes me so mad too. My mom is the biggest culprit of this which creates a very awkward situation for me. She's so generous with gifts which is very much appreciated but NONE of them are things we registered for. She hasn't even looked at the registry she just buys random stuff she finds on sale at target and TJ Maxx. Again I appreciate it but I spent so much time researching and registering for things we NEED and I wish she would save her money for those things if she wants to get us gifts so badly. Sigh.
My BFM is only for this app..... I haven't been able to participate in HDBD for like 3 weeks because every time I open a thread with pictures in it, it automatically closes!!!! So I'm only able to lurk and try to keep up. Sigh:( but I hope everyone else feels better soon because some of these posts I read make me cringe. I'm very sorry!!!
My BFM goes to people who judge scheduled c-sections. I don't owe anyone an explanation, but sometimes I just get so annoyed with the continued pressing and suggesting alternatives that I pop off with "well, my intestines were taken out, cut apart, and put back together, so all of my doctors agree a c-section is the best plan." There's more detail I could go into that adds to the reason, but that's usually enough to do the trick. Come to think of it, I get a kick out of their expression at that point!
My BFM goes to people who judge scheduled c-sections. I don't owe anyone an explanation, but sometimes I just get so annoyed with the continued pressing and suggesting alternatives that I pop off with "well, my intestines were taken out, cut apart, and put back together, so all of my doctors agree a c-section is the best plan." There's more detail I could go into that adds to the reason, but that's usually enough to do the trick. Come to think of it, I get a kick out of their expression at that point!
My mom had two scheduled c-sections because her tail bone blocked the exit. Before reading her chart with my brother, the doctor tried to suggest a VBAC. She laughed at him and told him to schedule a c-section. He did. Having a c-section is a choice between you and your doctor. Everyone else can shove it.
One last BFM for the day, as if I didn't feel enough like a beached whale, today the top button of my coat literally popped off during a shopping trip today. I guess it's time to reconsider my maternity outerwear
So back in 1st trimester I was having a nervous breakdown about money and one of my friends said I could have her crib, since I was struggling financially. She bought it new for her 18 month old son and he is no longer using it. I have been planning on this for months. I checked yesterday just to confirm that this was still the plan and she said no, but she was buying me a Pack'n'Play. I seriously appreciate that, but I had budgeted $100 for the P'n'P and that is too little to buy a crib. Grrr, probably just being hormonal but that threw me for a loop. I didn't even register for a crib until today, because I thought I already had one!
Jana Lynn
Happily married since 5/24/2015 Momma of a baby Viking since 4/16, expecting #2 in 5/18
BFM goes out to the old friend I had brunch with. She was in from out of town, having moved away several years ago. 35 years old, can't seem to commit to a job in the 5 years I've known her because she "doesn't know what she wants to do with her life," but complains about the folks she's met who are "like little kids running around in adult suits." Whines about the people she meets being flaky, but changes plans 15 minutes before they're set to begin. Completely devoid of direction in her life, but she has 1000 ways to be disappointed in how everyone else is living. I forgot how exhausting it is to be around her. It's like she completely forgot to grow up, but somehow believes she has.
So back in 1st trimester I was having a nervous breakdown about money and one of my friends said I could have her crib, since I was struggling financially. She bought it new for her 18 month old son and he is no longer using it. I have been planning on this for months. I checked yesterday just to confirm that this was still the plan and she said no, but she was buying me a Pack'n'Play. I seriously appreciate that, but I had budgeted $100 for the P'n'P and that is too little to buy a crib. Grrr, probably just being hormonal but that threw me for a loop. I didn't even register for a crib until today, because I thought I already had one!
@JanaBonfieldthat totally sucks that your friend changed her mind BUT, you can get a pretty solid crib for about $100, if you don't end up getting one off of your registry! We got ours at Kohl's for about $120 on sale, and it's pretty and sturdy. I know IKEA and Walmart also both have options at that price point (IKEA was my initial plan, until I found a gray one I loved at Kohl's).
So back in 1st trimester I was having a nervous breakdown about money and one of my friends said I could have her crib, since I was struggling financially. She bought it new for her 18 month old son and he is no longer using it. I have been planning on this for months. I checked yesterday just to confirm that this was still the plan and she said no, but she was buying me a Pack'n'Play. I seriously appreciate that, but I had budgeted $100 for the P'n'P and that is too little to buy a crib. Grrr, probably just being hormonal but that threw me for a loop. I didn't even register for a crib until today, because I thought I already had one!
AEG84 I found a nice one at Wal-Mart for $130 that I really like. I was going to buy the P'n'P using a Target gift card, but I have shifted plans so I can still get good stuff with my hefty Target gift card. Also, the difference between Target and Wal-Mart prices was more than I expected, especially for the same name brands!
Jana Lynn
Happily married since 5/24/2015 Momma of a baby Viking since 4/16, expecting #2 in 5/18
@JanaBonfield I was going to say, this time around I got my crib online through WalMart for only 100$ and the mattress was around 50-60$, so not terrible, and I like the look of it just as much as the one that DS had that cost more than 2x as much. I gave that one away unfortunately, otherwise I would've re-used it. The one we got was a Graco brand. MIL actually ended up getting it for us as part of our Christmas gift so that worked out.
My BFM goes to people who judge scheduled c-sections. I don't owe anyone an explanation, but sometimes I just get so annoyed with the continued pressing and suggesting alternatives that I pop off with "well, my intestines were taken out, cut apart, and put back together, so all of my doctors agree a c-section is the best plan." There's more detail I could go into that adds to the reason, but that's usually enough to do the trick. Come to think of it, I get a kick out of their expression at that point!
Yes thank you! I am a FTM and have decided with to do a c section. All risks have been discussed with doc and she does not oppose it and has actually said might be best for me for specific reasons. I don't need ppl questioning my decision or making me feel like less of a woman or selfish for it.
My BFM goes to people who judge scheduled c-sections. I don't owe anyone an explanation, but sometimes I just get so annoyed with the continued pressing and suggesting alternatives that I pop off with "well, my intestines were taken out, cut apart, and put back together, so all of my doctors agree a c-section is the best plan." There's more detail I could go into that adds to the reason, but that's usually enough to do the trick. Come to think of it, I get a kick out of their expression at that point!
Yes thank you! I am a FTM and have decided with to do a c section. All risks have been discussed with doc and she does not oppose it and has actually said might be best for me for specific reasons. I don't need ppl questioning my decision or making me feel like less of a woman or selfish for it.
How is it selfish? You may not have to push, but you end up with a longer recovery period and having to have your child CUT OUT OF YOU. I would personally pick pushing a watermelon out of my vagina over surgery any day. You do what you have to do and what's the best for your comfort and situation. I would never think a c-section is selfish...
My BFM goes to people who judge scheduled c-sections. I don't owe anyone an explanation, but sometimes I just get so annoyed with the continued pressing and suggesting alternatives that I pop off with "well, my intestines were taken out, cut apart, and put back together, so all of my doctors agree a c-section is the best plan." There's more detail I could go into that adds to the reason, but that's usually enough to do the trick. Come to think of it, I get a kick out of their expression at that point!
Yes thank you! I am a FTM and have decided with to do a c section. All risks have been discussed with doc and she does not oppose it and has actually said might be best for me for specific reasons. I don't need ppl questioning my decision or making me feel like less of a woman or selfish for it.
How is it selfish? You may not have to push, but you end up with a longer recovery period and having to have your child CUT OUT OF YOU. I would personally pick pushing a watermelon out of my vagina over surgery any day. You do what you have to do and what's the best for your comfort and situation. I would never think a c-section is selfish...
Yup i originally wanted to try med free but that all has changed to ensure a safer deliver for me and baby.
My BFM goes out to my husband's vape pen. I'm happy he doesn't smoke cigarettes anymore, but at LEAST when he smoked cigs he had to go OUTSIDE to do so.
The long-term effects of vape are not known, but at a minimum we know he's exhaling scented nicotine vape. Even when he is not necessarily near me, the vape smell fills the room. If I can smell the sickeningly sweet, French toast-y smell of the vapor, then I'm inhaling it to some extent IMO. He vapes all day long, because it's different from a cigarette where a person takes one longer break. Instead he will take one big drag, then another in a few minutes, all day. Inevitably I'm around for a lot of these. He tries to blow it away from me, but there seems to ALWAYS be a fan or something that manages to get it right in my face.
He is not intentionally being inconsiderate. He even built himself a little device to try to mute the vapor when it comes out. It's just I feel like I have made the choice NOT to smoke, but have somehow managed to inhale nicotine vapor all pregnancy long regardless, and it's really upsetting me. He sees my perspective, but not enough for any real change.
My BFM goes out to my husband's vape pen. I'm happy he doesn't smoke cigarettes anymore, but at LEAST when he smoked cigs he had to go OUTSIDE to do so.
The long-term effects of vape are not known, but at a minimum we know he's exhaling scented nicotine vape. Even when he is not necessarily near me, the vape smell fills the room. If I can smell the sickeningly sweet, French toast-y smell of the vapor, then I'm inhaling it to some extent IMO. He vapes all day long, because it's different from a cigarette where a person takes one longer break. Instead he will take one big drag, then another in a few minutes, all day. Inevitably I'm around for a lot of these. He tries to blow it away from me, but there seems to ALWAYS be a fan or something that manages to get it right in my face.
He is not intentionally being inconsiderate. He even built himself a little device to try to mute the vapor when it comes out. It's just I feel like I have made the choice NOT to smoke, but have somehow managed to inhale nicotine vapor all pregnancy long regardless, and it's really upsetting me. He sees my perspective, but not enough for any real change.
Eww that sounds horrible. I hate being around anyone using those things. The sweet flavors have diacetyl in them and that is a bad chemical to be inhaling.
My BFM goes to people who judge scheduled c-sections. I don't owe anyone an explanation, but sometimes I just get so annoyed with the continued pressing and suggesting alternatives that I pop off with "well, my intestines were taken out, cut apart, and put back together, so all of my doctors agree a c-section is the best plan." There's more detail I could go into that adds to the reason, but that's usually enough to do the trick. Come to think of it, I get a kick out of their expression at that point!
Yes thank you! I am a FTM and have decided with to do a c section. All risks have been discussed with doc and she does not oppose it and has actually said might be best for me for specific reasons. I don't need ppl questioning my decision or making me feel like less of a woman or selfish for it.
How is it selfish? You may not have to push, but you end up with a longer recovery period and having to have your child CUT OUT OF YOU. I would personally pick pushing a watermelon out of my vagina over surgery any day. You do what you have to do and what's the best for your comfort and situation. I would never think a c-section is selfish...
I think there are a lot of people who assume that a scheduled CS = elective CS, BUT in reality: nope, they don't.
A scheduled CS is chosen for medical reasons and determined to be the safest option with the least risks to mom and baby. It is not acceptable to judge.
Elective CSs chosen solely for convenience and vanity reasons are (IMO) are worthy of judgment.
My BFM goes to people who judge scheduled c-sections. I don't owe anyone an explanation, but sometimes I just get so annoyed with the continued pressing and suggesting alternatives that I pop off with "well, my intestines were taken out, cut apart, and put back together, so all of my doctors agree a c-section is the best plan." There's more detail I could go into that adds to the reason, but that's usually enough to do the trick. Come to think of it, I get a kick out of their expression at that point!
Yes thank you! I am a FTM and have decided with to do a c section. All risks have been discussed with doc and she does not oppose it and has actually said might be best for me for specific reasons. I don't need ppl questioning my decision or making me feel like less of a woman or selfish for it.
How is it selfish? You may not have to push, but you end up with a longer recovery period and having to have your child CUT OUT OF YOU. I would personally pick pushing a watermelon out of my vagina over surgery any day. You do what you have to do and what's the best for your comfort and situation. I would never think a c-section is selfish...
I think there are a lot of people who assume that a scheduled CS = elective CS, BUT in reality: nope, they don't.
A scheduled CS is chosen for medical reasons and determined to be the safest option with the least risks to mom and baby. It is not acceptable to judge.
Elective CSs chosen solely for convenience and vanity reasons are (IMO) are worthy of judgment.
Do people actually get elective c-sections or is that actually just an urban myth perpetuated by science fiction novels like Farenheit 451?
My BFM goes to people who judge scheduled c-sections. I don't owe anyone an explanation, but sometimes I just get so annoyed with the continued pressing and suggesting alternatives that I pop off with "well, my intestines were taken out, cut apart, and put back together, so all of my doctors agree a c-section is the best plan." There's more detail I could go into that adds to the reason, but that's usually enough to do the trick. Come to think of it, I get a kick out of their expression at that point!
Yes thank you! I am a FTM and have decided with to do a c section. All risks have been discussed with doc and she does not oppose it and has actually said might be best for me for specific reasons. I don't need ppl questioning my decision or making me feel like less of a woman or selfish for it.
How is it selfish? You may not have to push, but you end up with a longer recovery period and having to have your child CUT OUT OF YOU. I would personally pick pushing a watermelon out of my vagina over surgery any day. You do what you have to do and what's the best for your comfort and situation. I would never think a c-section is selfish...
I think there are a lot of people who assume that a scheduled CS = elective CS, BUT in reality: nope, they don't.
A scheduled CS is chosen for medical reasons and determined to be the safest option with the least risks to mom and baby. It is not acceptable to judge.
Elective CSs chosen solely for convenience and vanity reasons are (IMO) are worthy of judgment.
Do people actually get elective c-sections or is that actually just an urban myth perpetuated by science fiction novels like Farenheit 451?
They do in other countries, but no OB worth their salt in the US will do it.
My BFM goes to people who judge scheduled c-sections. I don't owe anyone an explanation, but sometimes I just get so annoyed with the continued pressing and suggesting alternatives that I pop off with "well, my intestines were taken out, cut apart, and put back together, so all of my doctors agree a c-section is the best plan." There's more detail I could go into that adds to the reason, but that's usually enough to do the trick. Come to think of it, I get a kick out of their expression at that point!
Yes thank you! I am a FTM and have decided with to do a c section. All risks have been discussed with doc and she does not oppose it and has actually said might be best for me for specific reasons. I don't need ppl questioning my decision or making me feel like less of a woman or selfish for it.
How is it selfish? You may not have to push, but you end up with a longer recovery period and having to have your child CUT OUT OF YOU. I would personally pick pushing a watermelon out of my vagina over surgery any day. You do what you have to do and what's the best for your comfort and situation. I would never think a c-section is selfish...
I think there are a lot of people who assume that a scheduled CS = elective CS, BUT in reality: nope, they don't.
A scheduled CS is chosen for medical reasons and determined to be the safest option with the least risks to mom and baby. It is not acceptable to judge.
Elective CSs chosen solely for convenience and vanity reasons are (IMO) are worthy of judgment.
Do people actually get elective c-sections or is that actually just an urban myth perpetuated by science fiction novels like Farenheit 451?
They do in other countries, but no OB worth their salt in the US will do it.
If it's truly elective, I was told insurance wouldn't cover it...
@yodiggity - I too was looking at February and March delivery boards and seeing all the cute babies being born. Makes me sad to see the ones that are little and in the NICU but at least they are doing ok.
@Knottie9983816 - Wow to your post about the baby shower. So just to be kind, I always say with gifts its the thought that counts. However I do agree with everyone, what was she thinking with the hot glue. I think maybe a basket would have been better and just arrange everything and then you have a basket for baby things. But what bothers me more is her attitude towards you and the party. It does sound like she has some jealousy issues going on, with getting engaged after you and then also talking about the kids thing. Just a thought and totally up to you, maybe have a heart to heart with her about where you are coming from on some of those issues with her wedding if you value her friendship. If not, you may want to cut ties like others suggested. Chances are after you have the baby that may happen anyways and things will work themselves out. I certainly can relate that after having kids you tend to find out who your really good friends are and who are not. Just sorry that she kind of put a damper on your shower.
My BFM goes out to my husband's vape pen. I'm happy he doesn't smoke cigarettes anymore, but at LEAST when he smoked cigs he had to go OUTSIDE to do so.
The long-term effects of vape are not known, but at a minimum we know he's exhaling scented nicotine vape. Even when he is not necessarily near me, the vape smell fills the room. If I can smell the sickeningly sweet, French toast-y smell of the vapor, then I'm inhaling it to some extent IMO. He vapes all day long, because it's different from a cigarette where a person takes one longer break. Instead he will take one big drag, then another in a few minutes, all day. Inevitably I'm around for a lot of these. He tries to blow it away from me, but there seems to ALWAYS be a fan or something that manages to get it right in my face.
He is not intentionally being inconsiderate. He even built himself a little device to try to mute the vapor when it comes out. It's just I feel like I have made the choice NOT to smoke, but have somehow managed to inhale nicotine vapor all pregnancy long regardless, and it's really upsetting me. He sees my perspective, but not enough for any real change.
Make him take it outside and be firm with him about it. It's your health and your baby, he should consider that.
Do people actually get elective c-sections or is that actually just an urban myth perpetuated by science fiction novels like Farenheit 451?
They do in other countries, but no OB worth their salt in the US will do it.
When I lived in China, all the Chinese women I knew who were pregnant at the time had an elective c-section. The expat women I worked were strongly encouraged to have an elective c-section; doctors love to milk the private insurance. Terrible all around.
Do people actually get elective c-sections or is that actually just an urban myth perpetuated by science fiction novels like Farenheit 451?
They do in other countries, but no OB worth their salt in the US will do it.
When I lived in China, all the Chinese women I knew who were pregnant at the time had an elective c-section. The expat women I worked were strongly encouraged to have an elective c-section; doctors love to milk the private insurance. Terrible all around.
My husband said most women in Brazil also get them because they think vaginal birth is "low class."
Re: BFM 2/15
When the other one was cancelled, my MIL offered to throw a us a shower in March and include all of my relatives as well. However, we're getting closer and closer to March and, while DH did help her send out electronic save-the-dates, she still hasn't even ordered invitations, let alone plan anything else. I'm getting the sense that I'll be putting together this shower myself plus trying to avoid stepping on her toes, which is just extra stress I don't need right now.
I know that a baby shower is a privilege not a right and I should be grateful that not one but two people offered to throw us one, but I'm at work on President's Day and feeling whiny.
I can see announcing if your fb page was all family and close friends. Mine is work friends and people from volunteer groups.
With DD1 I went late and every day from the week before to the day I was induced people were asking about when DD would show up. It was torture, especially since it was from people I didn't know well. I don't really want to do that again.
This time around we only announced due month versus the entire due date, so people would stop asking if there was any progress. DS was born before his EDD, but the weeks before it were annoying...
"Happy ordinary day to my husband, XXX! I'm looking forward to us doing absolutely nothing today! I love you more everyday, and thanks for loving me back, even when it's not February 14th. ❤ To all of you who got suckered into spending a fortune today, enjoy making the restaurants and chocolate factories rich today!"
To me, a post like this deserves an #eyeroll
edited to add @ImpatientPatty that makes me so mad too. My mom is the biggest culprit of this which creates a very awkward situation for me. She's so generous with gifts which is very much appreciated but NONE of them are things we registered for. She hasn't even looked at the registry she just buys random stuff she finds on sale at target and TJ Maxx. Again I appreciate it but I spent so much time researching and registering for things we NEED and I wish she would save her money for those things if she wants to get us gifts so badly. Sigh.
The long-term effects of vape are not known, but at a minimum we know he's exhaling scented nicotine vape. Even when he is not necessarily near me, the vape smell fills the room. If I can smell the sickeningly sweet, French toast-y smell of the vapor, then I'm inhaling it to some extent IMO. He vapes all day long, because it's different from a cigarette where a person takes one longer break. Instead he will take one big drag, then another in a few minutes, all day. Inevitably I'm around for a lot of these. He tries to blow it away from me, but there seems to ALWAYS be a fan or something that manages to get it right in my face.
He is not intentionally being inconsiderate. He even built himself a little device to try to mute the vapor when it comes out. It's just I feel like I have made the choice NOT to smoke, but have somehow managed to inhale nicotine vapor all pregnancy long regardless, and it's really upsetting me. He sees my perspective, but not enough for any real change.
I think there are a lot of people who assume that a scheduled CS = elective CS, BUT in reality: nope, they don't.
A scheduled CS is chosen for medical reasons and determined to be the safest option with the least risks to mom and baby. It is not acceptable to judge.
Elective CSs chosen solely for convenience and vanity reasons are (IMO) are worthy of judgment.
@Knottie9983816 - Wow to your post about the baby shower. So just to be kind, I always say with gifts its the thought that counts. However I do agree with everyone, what was she thinking with the hot glue. I think maybe a basket would have been better and just arrange everything and then you have a basket for baby things. But what bothers me more is her attitude towards you and the party. It does sound like she has some jealousy issues going on, with getting engaged after you and then also talking about the kids thing. Just a thought and totally up to you, maybe have a heart to heart with her about where you are coming from on some of those issues with her wedding if you value her friendship. If not, you may want to cut ties like others suggested. Chances are after you have the baby that may happen anyways and things will work themselves out. I certainly can relate that after having kids you tend to find out who your really good friends are and who are not. Just sorry that she kind of put a damper on your shower.
It's a boy! Grow baby, grow! EDD: 4/22/2016