Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
hayleydeee
member
Re: Are you a homebody?
** Removed for TOU violation **
I'm a homebody, shy & introverted. We just moved to a new area that's very rural and I don't know anyone. I forced myself to meet a couple of moms recently & there might be some friend potential there. Now it's cold so I think everyone is generally staying in.
My existing friends (who all live far from me now) like to joke that they had to force me into a friendship when we met. Funny but they're right. I'm not outgoing at all. I'm sure it comes across as antisocial but I'm just really shy around people I don't know well & terrible at small talk.
A lot of effort goes into getting myself & the kids dressed and out the door with everything we need. My two year old will inevitably start throwing a fit and I'm left wondering why I bothered. lol. I enjoyed getting out before when I had a good friend who lived right around the corner and it was laid back & easy to hang out with each other. Meeting new people and going to new places is stressful for me. I definitely try to avoid running errands with the kids if I can but I'm lucky that my husband's schedule allows me the opportunity to get out without them. Some moms have no choice but to do it all with kids in tow.
I feel guilty staying home so much sometimes, I'm sure the kids miss getting to hang out with other kids as often as we used to. Since I've only been a SAHM 5 months I think I'm just enjoying that I don't have the insane/hectic schedule I've had since I started having kids 7 years ago. I want to stay home...in pajama pants. :-)
As the kids get older and involved in more things (and I eventually go back to work) I'm sure I'll miss the days when I could stay home so much!
Married: '06 - Mom of 3 boys: '08, '11 & '14
TTGP July Siggy Challenge: Summer Fails
I also find it is so hard to keep up with the rat race of play dates all the time. It's exhausting!
Mom to Three Sweet Things
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Autumn
BestMomIdeas.com
But I think the whole "perfect mom" sh*t is baloney. Where they go to mommy and me classes and set up play dates for their 4 month old. Hey if you really enjoy it, go ahead. I think some people just try too hard because they don't want to be judged. If you'd rather be home you shouldn't feel guilty for that. I've come pretty close to not caring what people think anymore because I got so sick of it.
I DO however, wish I could leave the house more than I do! I don't drive (I know, I know) and we only have one car anyway so wouldn't make a difference. There's nowhere to go. Does walking the dog count as leaving the house? Because I do that sometimes...
Alas, we are perpetually broke, and I have no friends who live nearby or aren't busy with their own lives anyway. I wish my cousin would move back in town, she had her LO a week before I had my youngest, so we'd be able to relate and do mom/baby/kid stuff stuff together, but she has flown the coop as well. Oh well. #momlyfe
I have a couple friends from high school (more like acquaintances back then) who had baby girls a month after I had mine, we've sort of formed a little group. So we have play dates either at someone's house, a park in summer, the zoo or a play place a couple times a month. We also usually do some activity when my husband is off because the two adult to one child ratio makes it so much easier.
I feel like I should do more but it never quite goes as expected. We've tried music class, mommy and me gymnastics etc. and it was just a mess, my toddler wants her own way and has very strong opinions...she just wants to run free. I've come to terms with that and try to not to worry so much.
Sometimes instagram gets in my head when I see all these mom friends doing something out of the house every day with their toddlers. But I try to tell the guilty voice in my head to shut up!
Now I'm pregnant with my second, sick and exhausted all day. I consider it a win if I don't use Mickey Mouse as a babysitter all day while I lay on the couch lol.
Totally feel you on this !! I’m the same way! I’m happiest at home with my little one, and honestly, the thought of packing up snacks, diapers, water bottles, and dealing with car seats just to “get out” feels exhausting some days 😅
It’s easy to compare ourselves to moms who are constantly at the zoo, museum, or playdates... but I’ve come to realize that our kids don’t need a packed calendar to thrive. Sometimes just playing in the yard, baking together, or reading books is more than enough
That said, I do try to get out a few times a week, not out of guilt, but just for a change of scenery (even if it’s just a walk or library visit). But if home is your happy place, that’s totally valid too.
So don’t stress !! you're giving your kids love, security, and attention. That matters most ❤️