Surrogate Here! Can I still join the fun?

EJChapman123 · February 2016

Hello all!

I am the mother of two girls (4.5 and almost 2) and am currently 4 weeks pregnant with a surrogate baby. With my family complete, I decided to contact an agency and do pregnancy one more time to help someone else (and yes, I get compensated, Im not a saint by a long shot!).

I got matched with a delightful single man from Paris, France who I have gotten to know over the last few months and I just adore. He is a gay man, so having a family the old fashioned way wasn't in the cards for him, and as he is nearing 40 he wants a family with or without a life partner. He had an egg donor (not my babies !) and on 2/4 they transferred two frozen embryos into my uterus. I had to go through what was essentially an IVF cycle to get prepared for transfer. We transferred one boy and one girl embryo (they were PGS tested embryos and they know gender, how crazy right?!) and 5 days after my transfer, I got a really strong positive on a FRER and the lines are getting darker every day. My first beta blood draw is on Monday which will have stat results later that afternoon. I strongly feel both babies stuck around, but we won't know until ultrasound.

IVF math puts me at 4 weeks today, and its TBD what my due date will be based on headcount, but both dates would fall in October (8th or 22nd).

I know my circumstance is a bit different, but Im still pregnant and would love to be a part of the board. Hope to be chatting with y'all soon!

br0co1ii · February 2016

This is such an interesting story! And of course you can join us. You'll be going thru pretty much everything we will.

Glad to have you here!

jbal918 · February 2016

Welcome! I think it's a great thing you are doing to help this guy have a family he's always wanted!!

katiegeminimoon · February 2016

Wow! I think it's amazing what you are doing, so please stick around!

ashleyp625 · February 2016

Wow, this is so cool! Welcome!

krzyriver · February 2016

Wow! That's an incredible thing you are doing for someone. Very cool!

LGW2015 · February 2016

Awesome! Welcome!

MRSCORKER · February 2016

So great and so lucky that man can have the family he always wanted. I hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy!

2015dee · February 2016

Your post made me so happy! What a wonderful thing you are doing. Welcome!

EJChapman123 · February 2016

Awwwwww thanks guys! Im in a couple surrogate groups online, but everyone is at different places in the journey or pregnancy, and it will be great to be along for the ride with people who are experiencing what I am experiencing.

For me, the beautiful thing about surrogacy is that I am getting back even more than I give. I feel like Im fulfilling a life's calling, and I get to carry the joy of the journey with me for my whole life. When I am down, I can always say "but there is that time I helped complete a family, so I can't be all bad". Plus I actually enjoy being pregnant for the most part! And even more importantly, I have gained what I believe to be a lifelong bond with an incredible person, and the place to crash in Paris doesn't hurt either. Point is, I view this as enriching to my soul in such a profound way, its a gift for myself as much as it is for someone else.

blaf322 · February 2016

Excited to have you as part of the group! Love the story!!!

MRSCORKER · February 2016

@EJChapman123 Are you in the states? Will you deliver in France or will he come to you? I'm so excited to follow your journey!

EJChapman123 · February 2016

Im in Florida! And I will give birth with my regular OB, at the same hospital I delivered my first 2 children

He will be here for a solid month or so, as he has to wait for baby/babies to be healthy enough to get passports and fly overseas to France. His parents will probably be here too. Hopefully, they will be staying with me! He is also planning to visit in May so we aren't like "Hi, nice to meet you, here is my vagina"

He got to choose the IVF clinic (which is located in Miami, 4 hours away from my home in Tampa), and after my second ultrasound with the IVF doctor (the RE) at 8ish weeks, I get released to my own doctor. So I have to do 2 more flights in and out of Miami for ultrasounds and then I get to stay local. Fortunately my beta draws are at a local clinic, but the RE is a control freak about the ultrasounds.

Im happy to answer ANY questions, I get all kinds of them all the time and I love educating people on the topic. Especially if it ever inspires someone to do it themselves!

_darth · February 2016

Hi and welcome! What you are doing is fantastic.

OrangeEv · February 2016

Glad to have you here! I think what you are doing is so great! Hope they both stuck.

Koalamomma3 · February 2016

What an amazing thing to do! And being compensated does not at all take away from what an incredible thing you are doing or make you any less of a saint! It will be so exciting to see if both little ones stick! One of my friends has been a surrogate twice and has kept in contact with the families, and likely always will. She has built a really great bond with the little ones and the families and even made a couple of long distance trips over the years to visit with them, I hope it is an amazing experience for you as well!

EJChapman123 · February 2016

I believe my bond with my IF will be life long as well - especially since as a single man I am the closest thing thing to a mother the babies will have. We speak every day, multiple times per day. He seems to really be interested in building the relationship to its fullest, though of course I will let him guide the parameters.

DH and I are planning to go to Paris next summer to visit! (and London, you know, since we will be just a 2 hour train ride away)

What an awesome thing your friend did, always happy to hear positive experiences, though really the vast majority of them seem to be

nsquaredlife13 · February 2016

Wow, you are amazing. I can't wait to hear more about your journey. Such a great experience and wonderful thing for you to do to help another family.

sparklegrump · February 2016

Hey, I know you!

kmtz89 · February 2016

This is so interesting!(and awesome!) I look forward to following your pregnancy here with us!

SLou24 · February 2016

Wow, this is amazing!! I am really interested to learn more about the process as you move forward, what a beautiful thing to be able to do for someone else who wants a family so badly

EJChapman123 · February 2016

sparklegrump said:

Hey, I know you!

Yes you do!!!

Hello fellow May Momma!

Kaytee1087 · February 2016

I just want to echo the rest of the ladies and say welcome! You have an awesome story and I can't wait to take this pregnancy journey with you!

Michi1382 · February 2016

Wow, this is amazing and so are you! I hope both babies stay and that you have a great experience. How exciting!

thepicklemonster · February 2016

How cool! I love this. And the guy sounds like he is going to be an amazing dad

missmaehurt · February 2016

That's awesome! I have strongly considered surrogacy after we complete our family, I'm excited to read your journey.

artcheese · February 2016

Compensated or not, willing to go through the trials and tribulations of pregnancy so you can give some one a gift of a child (or two!) makes you a saint in my book.

Welcome!!!!

kelliott09 · February 2016

That's awesome!! I've considered surrogacy myself because I've had relatively easy pregnancies and births and it hurts me when others struggle with (or impossible in his case) what seems to come so easy for most people. But, given that I'm now 35, I'm not sure I'd be a good candidate or that I could even do it emotionally.

I'm very interested in following your journey and I'm so glad you're here. Welcome.

Hillzy30 · February 2016

Wow, how interesting! I've considered surrogacy once I'm all done having my own but I'm afraid I may be too old by the time that rolls around. I can't wait to hear more of your story!

waitingforkiwi · February 2016

I think that is a super interesting journey you have embarked upon. Wishing you a very happy, healthy, and sane remainder of your pregnancy! Definitely hope you feel welcome here.

Piperella · February 2016

You had the FET(Frozen Embryo Transfer) part of an IVF. You are lucky you didn't have to do the retrieval part (the ED did), as that is the far more painful part. I think it is a wonderful thing that you are doing, compensated or not. I'm so glad you are joining this board!

EJChapman123 · February 2016

For those of you who think you might be "too old" just know, the under 35 rule doesn't apply as long as you aren't using your eggs. It's egg quality that breaks down and makes you "high risk". My agency takes surrogates until 40 I believe!

janeJ7 · July 2016

You have a very big heart! I think you'll make some couple very happy. Unfortunately I can't carry a baby. I was diagnosed with glomerulonephritis after the birth of my first child. Because of this desease I had two pregnancy terminations. My dh and I decided to turn to surrogacy. It was our last chance to become parents. Prices here are too high for our abilities. That's why we were looking for clinic abroad. We found good clinic in Ukraine and went there. The clinic provided us with everything needed, so we felt absolutely comfortable in foreign country. The whole process was under their control. They found surrogate mother for us in 2,5 months. Our son was born on October 2015. I'm so grateful to our doctor and surrogate mother! Thanks to them I have family I was dreaming about.

CopperBoom86 · July 2016

ibabyloveb87 · July 2016

I started reading the beginning of this without paying attention to the dates and was wondering how someone was 4 weeks pregnant and due in October....