- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
December 2015 Moms
heatherkennedy021
member
the mom I said I'd never be
heatherkennedy021
member
Im turning into the mom I said I'd never be and I find it quite funny....
I said I'd never be like my mom, however each day I become more like her.
I said I'd never cosleep... However I find myself co sleeping several nights a week.
I said I'd never own a mini van yet yesterday I bought a mini van..
Anyone else find themselves being the mom they never thought they'd be...?
I said I'd never be like my mom, however each day I become more like her.
I said I'd never cosleep... However I find myself co sleeping several nights a week.
I said I'd never own a mini van yet yesterday I bought a mini van..
Anyone else find themselves being the mom they never thought they'd be...?
Re: the mom I said I'd never be
I said that baby would never use a pacifier - the hospital staff introduced one without my permission and it's such a lifesaver that I said the heck with it and let her keep using it. Its in her mouth right now.
I said baby would sleep in the crib immediately - nope. Started out in pack & play, moved to rock & play and co-sleeps about 25% of the time. I was also very judgmental about this.
I said baby would not interfere with my normal activities, that I would go out just as much and would use a carrier. Um, those things are sitting in a corner untouched. I'm too tired to figure out how they work. Not to mention its so cold here right now that I feel I can't take baby out much. And feedings take sooooo long that I basically never want to leave the house. Sigh.
Something else I was against before was early exposure to technology. Then I thought about my own exposure (I had my own desktop with dos at 5 years old) and how my parents approached it and decided it wasn't too bad. Plus the only way we could get DS to burp early on was to play Clifford the Big Red Dog. He'd get distracted, forget to be angry and voila. Now I just never want it to be the babysitter.
I always judged the moms with screaming babies in the stores. I totally feel for them now.
I said I wouldn't get an epidural, it ended up being the best thing ever.
I said I wouldn't give DD a pacifier until she was 1 month old, she used it when she was 2 days old and loves it.
I said I would dress her up in girly frilly clothes everyday, I never dress her up unless we have to go somewhere. Lol
The one expectation i managed to meet was breastfeeding. I've been pleased with how that's gone except now i'm a month away from going back to work and not only will Olive not take a bottle, she doesn't even understand what's happening when i offer her one.
The supermodel thing? ugh.. well i'm not sure how that delusion got started considering i didn't look like one before this whole adventure. Mostly when i look in the mirror, all i see is somebody who looks like a cross between an eastern bloc freedom fighter and an escaped mental patient. Covered in vomit. But i don't know.. somehow i'm more proud of that than i would be if I put all my energy into my appearance. I look tough and hardcore. I'm proud of that. It hasn't been easy. I'm glad The Struggle (which is real, btw) is reflected in my face.
I was never really judgmental about it. I was more in awe of the mums who made it work. But for me, I assumed that I'd just never feel the need to. You know, because of how dangerous it can be etc.. And i felt it "wasn't for me" (whatever that means.. i used to know..) And then wouldn't you know, from day one, my very uterus ached the second she was laid in her bassinet. I didn't sleep for the first few days after her birth because i couldn't let her go.
Dont not get me wrong I still worry about the risks of cosleeping but I feel way better with her next to me than somewhere else.
Edited 3x: because pizza is more important right now
I said I'd never comfort nurse, that rocking and cuddles would work.. I let her comfort nurse to her hearts content.
I also had the super model, super mom image and well that didn't happen with DS and it's definitely not happening now. Although strangely I'm slightly more together with 2 kids.
With my first I said I'd never: formula feed, give him a pacifier, let him watch TV before the age of 3, buy Gerber snacks (planned on making my own), let his routine control me.. All I can say to that is hahaha! All that happened, I even bought Gerber puffs for myself once because I loved the banana ones! We do what we need to survive!
When she spent the first month of her life screaming it all became a survival game. It was all about making it through the day at any cost. All those things went out the window, and baby girl isn't any worse for wear. I also know now that all those "perfect" or "right" things to do for a baby are not necessarily right for my baby.
We did the same with DS. Once he was consistently sleeping through the night we moved him to his own room. We'd snuggle in the living room until he'd fall asleep and move him to his crib.
Crying it out isn't recommended until baby is at least six months old. We started with DS when he was about a year old. By then he was laying down and taking naps on his own during the day so we felt he was more prepared. He has a crib soother he uses so we have his routine and lay him down tired, turn the soother on, tell him good night and walk out. He cries a couple minutes sometimes and goes to sleep, most times he doesn't cry at all. We have an agreed on time, we started with five minutes and after that we'd check on him. We also listened to how he was crying. Certain cries we didn't wait. If he was just doing his tired fussing but was winding down we'd give him a little longer.
It's helped both my kids sleep in their cribs when I rolled up muslin swaddle blankets and tucked them under the fitted sheet around the baby. I'd lay them down and adjust the postion but they both started sleeping there fine with this. It seems like it makes things feel closer and more secure for them and the rolls might feel like arms around them.
I'm not saying that every baby is like mine, or that this will work for every baby. But I think sometimes people think that babies who sleep in their own bassinet or crib did so without any trouble, which simply isn't always true. It was way more difficult to get him in his crib than it would have been to pull him into our bed, but I feel like it is paying off now.
However I didn't think I would be the mom that posts pictures of DD on social media all the time, but I can't help myself. I know most people don't care, but damn DH and I made an adorable child.
Post pictures and updates about her nonstop.
I also said I would be an exclusive breastfeeder/pumping mom. That lasted for about 3 weeks.
I also post/talk about DS about 1-2x every couple of days on FB and I said I'd never be that mom, to do that. I was all for giving monthly updates and/or posting a new picture every couple of weeks. Yea, that flew out of the window real fast.
I will continue to fall victim to the "Awww, that's so cute!" line when shopping at any store that has a baby isle in it. What matters most is I have admitted my problem and I hope I can have some will power to say, "No!" to all of the baby clothes.
Side note- *I would totally be screwed if I had a girl.* And by screwed I mean broke and probably divorced if DH knew just how many clothes she'd have if we had a girl. lol
The best luck I've had is trying to catch it early and sit in a steamy bathroom with them or use a humidifier. There's a chest rub we use with DS that works wonders but says to ask a doctor for babies under 3 months. Maty's baby chest rub. DS is 15 months old and for his last cold started bringing us the jar to put it on. I ended up using it as well and it seemed like it cleared DD up some from laying against me when I was using it.