Keeping baby intact

kitteh81 · February 2016

Ok, so this is my 3rd baby but my 1st boy and I was just wondering if any stms have any advice about intact care. I've heard that well - meaning pediatrician's can hurt baby of they try to retract, and that there's a lot of misinformation out there about how to care for intact babies and toddlers. Anyone with advice or experiences to relate would be appreciated!

smushi · February 2016

I've never heard of this. What do you mean?

2-Step · February 2016

I assume you mean uncircumcised? I think any pediatrician today should know exactly how to not injure a non circumcised child and help you with any info you need on care. If they can't figure that out you need a new pedi!

kitteh81 · February 2016

I have heard that many pediatricians are NOT actually very educated on how to care for the intact penis, which makes sense because up until recently circumcision was the norm in the US with close to 80% of newborn boys undergoing the procedure. That trend is changing, but education is often behind the trends. Take breastfeeding, plenty of pediatricians have no idea what they're talking about when it comes to breastfeeding, and often still use the growth charts made for formula fed infants when assessing exclusively breastfed babies.

I've read somewhere (actually it was an email from What to Expect) that intact toddlers should be able to retract by 2 years old, but I've also heard that it can happen much later than that naturally, and that forcing retraction in a toddler can cause injury. I guess I'm just looking for experiences from any mamas who chose not to circumcise.

smushi · February 2016

With my nephews, the first was circumcised and the second was not. They both go to the same pediatrician, and my sister has never mentioned anything about a difference in care.

kyraaD · February 2016

kitteh81 said:

I have heard that many pediatricians are NOT actually very educated on how to care for the intact penis, which makes sense because up until recently circumcision was the norm in the US with close to 80% of newborn boys undergoing the procedure. That trend is changing, but education is often behind the trends. Take breastfeeding, plenty of pediatricians have no idea what they're talking about when it comes to breastfeeding, and often still use the growth charts made for formula fed infants when assessing exclusively breastfed babies.

I've read somewhere (actually it was an email from What to Expect) that intact toddlers should be able to retract by 2 years old, but I've also heard that it can happen much later than that naturally, and that forcing retraction in a toddler can cause injury. I guess I'm just looking for experiences from any mamas who chose not to circumcise.

where have you heard this? 20% of a population as large as America is still A LOT of uncircumcised little boys. have you chosen a pediatrician for your LO already? perhapse this would be a good conversation to have with him/her & decide if they are right for you & baby or not.

kitteh81 · February 2016

I'm going to be sending the baby to the same pediatrician that my daughters go to.

So there's no one here with boys that chose not to circumcise? I'm kind of surprised by that.

smushi · February 2016

I'm sure there are. You just have to wait more than an hour

kitteh81 · February 2016

Pregnancy makes me impatient

Cowboycorgi · February 2016

I'm a FTM and having a girl, but I used to babysit for an intact infant.

As for care, it was super easy. Clean it like a finger wiping from base down, and never retract or try to clean inside just like a girl. Besides that it is no different then diaper care with any other baby. The foreskin is attached like the bed of a fingernail at this point so be gentle.

Easy peasy!

smushi · February 2016

kitteh81 said:

Pregnancy makes me impatient

You and me both! I yell at DH whenever he misses or fails to get through a traffic light. This could be caused by hunger 9 times out of 10.

blueeyedrose86 · February 2016

I have heard so many stories of peds causing harm because they don't know not to retract. My best advice would be to discuss it with your pediatrician and watch him/her like a hawk when they inspect his penis.

kitteh81 · February 2016

To be honest, after 2 girls I'm not really looking forward to diaper changes involving a penis. I hear it's almost impossible to avoid getting sprayed at least once during their diaper days.

cataleya82 · February 2016

kitteh81 said:

To be honest, after 2 girls I'm not really looking forward to diaper changes involving a penis. I hear it's almost impossible to avoid getting sprayed at least once during their diaper days.

I have 2 boys, I've never been peed on

GraysonsMama · February 2016

We chose not to circumcise our son. He's almost two and his skin has not retracted yet. Our pediatrician has never tried to retract it manually. She said that sometime between birth and puberty (usually) he will retract it himself or it will spontaneously retract (usually with an erection). I would talk to your pediatrician before hand and if you're not comfortable find a new one.

lightrox · February 2016

My boys are circumcised since my husband chose it. I left it up to him since I don't have a penis but my brothers and my dad aren't it's not the norm in South America where my family is from. There shouldn't be an issue the only thing my mom said was you have to pull the foreskin gently and slowly back every time you change their diaper to start detaching it and cleaning. If you don't detach it, it will eventually be extremely painful for him when he gets and erection and it detaches itself it will bleed and be painful then. Your pediatrician should know what to do I would call and ask them before taking him in.

kitteh81 · February 2016

See, I think that is false information lightrox. It seems to be the most common advice I've heard, but then I've read elsewhere that attempting to retract the foreskin before it does so on its own will actually CAUSE all of those problems with adhesions and bleeding.

GraysonsMama · February 2016

lightrox said:

My boys are circumcised since my husband chose it. I left it up to him since I don't have a penis but my brothers and my dad aren't it's not the norm in South America where my family is from. There shouldn't be an issue the only thing my mom said was you have to pull the foreskin gently and slowly back every time you change their diaper to start detaching it and cleaning. If you don't detach it, it will eventually be extremely painful for him when he gets and erection and it detaches itself it will bleed and be painful then. Your pediatrician should know what to do I would call and ask them before taking him in.

No, no, no! DO NOT pull it back to clean it until it has retracted on it's own. You can cause serious injury and infection. Just leave the inside alone, clean the outside with a sore at diaper changes and soap and water at bath time.

https://www.cirp.org/library/hygiene/camille1/

Edited to add link

soxfan9968 · February 2016

Oh I'm such a ditz!! I legitimately (not being snarky) thought this thread about keeping baby in one piece! Meaning alive. Lmao!! A baby survival 101, tips on how to care for baby in general. I can't stop laughing at myself!!

Carry on, just thought I'd let you guys laugh a little at my own expense.

yodapup · February 2016

I have no actual experience but when researching before I knew I was having a girl, I read similar information as @kitteh81 . I think you're just supposed to leave it alone until it retracts on its own. It's a myth that uncircumcised penises are dirty and that you have to retract it and clean it. But like I said, I have no real life experience lol.

jenniferamcooper · February 2016

I retracted it for the first few weeks of my LOs life, each time during diaper cleaning and then at his GP appointment mentioned to the doc that it looked a little red. She said just to leave if, it'll retract on its own. And as another PP mentioned, wipe it like its a any other body part.

As a super weird FYI baby boners are a thing and it'll retract really young. LO is now 2 and he hauls on it in the bath with no issues. Most boys here in Canada are now intact but I think our parents generation it was more equal, so that's probably why there's a lot of misinformation.

cmerribury · February 2016

I would talk to your doctor about it. I had a friend who made this choice for her son and did as you are suggesting (essentially left the inside alone and cleaned outside). He ended up with a terrible infection which swelled his penis cutting off circulation and had to have a circumcision done anyway. He was close to three.

Im not saying this will happen. Just that speaking to the doctor would be a better choice since most of us either circumcised or didn't and followed the advice of parents/grandparents.

Also so adding myself to the group of ladies with boys who have never been peeped on. Just lay a towel or the diaper across it while changing. They pee when cold. Honestly a penis is WAY easier to keep clean than a vagina.

arcanejinx · February 2016

I've cared for both in childcare. I think a lot of people overthink-don't retract. Whipe during changes, simple soap and water when you bathe them. Just remember to point their penis down during changes-helps keep leaks from the diaper waistband from happening.

Honestly being peed on isn't the worst thing. I've had poop explosions, projectile vomit, toilet chucks overflowing into my shoes, surprise poops. And the one thing I hate is spit (from children 3+, no reason for spit), gross happens. Have everything ready to go before you start the change (open up the diaper, get the wipes), change quickly and wait to clean up till after baby is all dressed.

And I've been peed on by girls too. Which is why I prefer changing tables set up where you work from the side not directly in the line of fire, so to speak.

Sconesy..Cider · February 2016

DS is circumcised, but I always kept a Gerber cloth diaper or some burp rag around to place atop him while I changed diapers. I imagine it would work with any baby.

mshukh · February 2016

I'm adding myself to the never been peed on group of moms. Just be prepped and have a rag and have everything ready to go before you undiaper. We circumcised the first and will again with this one. We are Jewish, but I assumed it was the norm for most, so it's interesting to hear that a lot of people are no longer choosing to do that.

skruhmin · February 2016

Never been peed on during a diaper change but my husband has. But the wall has. Our pedi's scale was christened during our first office visit.

irenewslee · February 2016

I am having a boy and we don't plan to circumcise him. Like someone said in pp, I left that decision up to my husband. We will also be talking to our pedi when we see him next time (during DD's regular check up) to ask for his opinion as well. My brother was circumcised later when he was about 8 or so because he didn't take care of it well and got infected. I want to make sure we teach our boy the right way so he doesn't have to deal with that pain later in life.

By the way, I still get peed on every once and awhile with DD and she is 20 months. I don't know how she managed to projectile it while I was getting her ready for her bath. She pukes very often as well, especially when she's sick and sometimes you just have to use your hands and whatever is within reach. And when she was younger, she would poop and get it all the way up her back and on me while BFing. Anyway, these things happen and it's just part of parenthood. We joke about it and say that at least nothing gets in the mouth, which can happen too!

kitteh81 · February 2016

Oh I've definitely had my share of bodily fluids with the girls. My toddler's favorite pastime lately is pooping in the bathtub, FUN! But the pee thing mostly concerns me when it comes to night time changes. I'm able to change the girls in the middle of the night without worrying about being peed on, or having to turn on a light or anything. I feel like I'm going to have to be more vigilant when dealing with night time changes with a boy.

kitteh81 · February 2016

skruhmin said:

Never been peed on during a diaper change but my husband has. But the wall has. Our pedi's scale was christened during our first office visit.

LOL the wall. Now that is impressive.

skruhmin · February 2016

Just cover the front with a diaper until he starts controlling it better. It will also help with the "keep it down" mentality - ALWAYS point the penis down with diaper changes. The easiest way is to put diaper on front to back when starting out.

parenthood4 · February 2016

I'll take being peed on any day - my DD was a projectile pooper. In the middle of the night during a change, she shot poop across her dresser, a row of clean diapers, the carpet, and into her crib on her sheets. It was impressive and so gross. I realize this doesn't actually have anything to do with this thread, but...oh well. You know you're a parent when you think, "eh...its just pee"

irenewslee · February 2016

kh1824 said:

I'll take being peed on any day - my DD was a projectile pooper. In the middle of the night during a change, she shot poop across her dresser, a row of clean diapers, the carpet, and into her crib on her sheets. It was impressive and so gross. I realize this doesn't actually have anything to do with this thread, but...oh well. You know you're a parent when you think, "eh...its just pee"

That is too funny! I can just visualize it and imagine it happen in the middle of the night when you can barely keep your eyes open! At that point, I think my next thought would be... "should I clean it now? or wait until tomorrow morning? eh... tomorrow morning"

skruhmin · February 2016

irenewslee said:

kh1824 said:

I'll take being peed on any day - my DD was a projectile pooper. In the middle of the night during a change, she shot poop across her dresser, a row of clean diapers, the carpet, and into her crib on her sheets. It was impressive and so gross. I realize this doesn't actually have anything to do with this thread, but...oh well. You know you're a parent when you think, "eh...its just pee"

That is too funny! I can just visualize it and imagine it happen in the middle of the night when you can barely keep your eyes open! At that point, I think my next thought would be... "should I clean it now? or wait until tomorrow morning? eh... tomorrow morning"

This is why you double up sheets/protector on a crib mattress - just remove the top layer and you're golden! This is also why you invest in a good spot carpet cleaner

oceanchild · February 2016

blueeyedrose86 said:

I have heard so many stories of peds causing harm because they don't know not to retract. My best advice would be to discuss it with your pediatrician and watch him/her like a hawk when they inspect his penis.

THIS. i even have a friend in a lawsuit with a doctor bc he retracted her intact son and seriously hurt him. definitely the best advice is to watch like a hawk, and remind each time not to retract.

cmerribury · February 2016

skruhmin said:

irenewslee said:

kh1824 said:

I'll take being peed on any day - my DD was a projectile pooper. In the middle of the night during a change, she shot poop across her dresser, a row of clean diapers, the carpet, and into her crib on her sheets. It was impressive and so gross. I realize this doesn't actually have anything to do with this thread, but...oh well. You know you're a parent when you think, "eh...its just pee"

That is too funny! I can just visualize it and imagine it happen in the middle of the night when you can barely keep your eyes open! At that point, I think my next thought would be... "should I clean it now? or wait until tomorrow morning? eh... tomorrow morning"

This is why you double up sheets/protector on a crib mattress - just remove the top layer and you're golden! This is also why you invest in a good spot carpet cleaner

We already have three layers on the crib!

parenthood4 · February 2016

skruhmin said:

irenewslee said:

kh1824 said:

I'll take being peed on any day - my DD was a projectile pooper. In the middle of the night during a change, she shot poop across her dresser, a row of clean diapers, the carpet, and into her crib on her sheets. It was impressive and so gross. I realize this doesn't actually have anything to do with this thread, but...oh well. You know you're a parent when you think, "eh...its just pee"

That is too funny! I can just visualize it and imagine it happen in the middle of the night when you can barely keep your eyes open! At that point, I think my next thought would be... "should I clean it now? or wait until tomorrow morning? eh... tomorrow morning"

This is why you double up sheets/protector on a crib mattress - just remove the top layer and you're golden! This is also why you invest in a good spot carpet cleaner

Haha the thing I was most upset about was the diapers! We had to throw a bunch away! But I just had to laugh it was so ridiculous. But definitely yes to the carpet cleaner!

2-Step · February 2016

kitteh81 said:

I have heard that many pediatricians are NOT actually very educated on how to care for the intact penis, which makes sense because up until recently circumcision was the norm in the US with close to 80% of newborn boys undergoing the procedure. That trend is changing, but education is often behind the trends. Take breastfeeding, plenty of pediatricians have no idea what they're talking about when it comes to breastfeeding, and often still use the growth charts made for formula fed infants when assessing exclusively breastfed babies.

I've read somewhere (actually it was an email from What to Expect) that intact toddlers should be able to retract by 2 years old, but I've also heard that it can happen much later than that naturally, and that forcing retraction in a toddler can cause injury. I guess I'm just looking for experiences from any mamas who chose not to circumcise.

If you are worried about this then it should be part of your screening process when you look for a pediatrician. I live in an area of the country where it is pretty common to be uncircumcised these days so it surprises me that a pedi wouldn't have dealt with it many times before. I can see how location might influence this though. If your current pedi doesn't have experience with this then I would find another.

AlissaLee17 · February 2016

arcanejinx said:

I've cared for both in childcare. I think a lot of people overthink-don't retract. Whipe during changes, simple soap and water when you bathe them. Just remember to point their penis down during changes-helps keep leaks from the diaper waistband from happening.

Honestly being peed on isn't the worst thing. I've had poop explosions, projectile vomit, toilet chucks overflowing into my shoes, surprise poops. And the one thing I hate is spit (from children 3+, no reason for spit), gross happens. Have everything ready to go before you start the change (open up the diaper, get the wipes), change quickly and wait to clean up till after baby is all dressed.

And I've been peed on by girls too. Which is why I prefer changing tables set up where you work from the side not directly in the line of fire, so to speak.

Omg saliva is pretty much the only bodily fluid that completely grosses me out. I work with blood and urine, previously worked with waste water, etc. I cannot handle saliva.

kitteh81 · February 2016

kh1824 said:

I'll take being peed on any day - my DD was a projectile pooper. In the middle of the night during a change, she shot poop across her dresser, a row of clean diapers, the carpet, and into her crib on her sheets. It was impressive and so gross. I realize this doesn't actually have anything to do with this thread, but...oh well. You know you're a parent when you think, "eh...its just pee"

Holy Crap!

kitteh81 · February 2016

^^see what I did there?

Synnovus · February 2016

I'm Norwegian and live in Norway. Circumcision isn't common and DS is intact. Cleaning and care is super easy! Just wipe it down and do not retract. At any sign of pinkness/redness just use a baby cream with zinc in it. To avoid redness/diaper rash I would always make sure DS was completely dry before a new diaper went on. Air drying is the best, but when time is short clapping dry with a cloth/towel and some gentle blowing would do. Do not let any pedi/doc retract the foreskin either. As other pp already have said the foreskin is still attached and forced retraction can do a lot of damage. DS is now 3 1/5 y and has not retracted yet. Our pedi told us early on that the age of retraction normally varies a lot and not to worry before much later on.
Good luck

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