During nursing school, I got to watch a circumcision. It is an awful experience for the baby. There is no numbing or local anesthesia given while they literally cut off the foreskin after placing a metal clamp on it! All they do is get the baby to suck on sugar water, or sweet ease, for relief. It was a torture to watch and there's a lot of bleeding initially. Apparently, the baby doesn't remember it and gets over it easily, but we can't ask a baby to know lol. My husband and I are going to elect not to after discussing the experience. It is not medically indicated whatsoever. Also, men with foreskin tend to have more pleasure and sensitivity than men without. It is becoming more and more culturally acceptable to not circumcise.
DH and I already know we're having a girl, but we had decided before hand that we wouldn't circumcise if it was a boy. I'm generally in favor of not medically intervening unless it is required, so this has always stuck me as odd that this has hung on so long for no reason (assuming you live in a place with access to good hygiene and condoms (if you're worried about the very slight bump in aids transmission)). Plus I did a bunch of research and many places in the US the circumcision rate at birth has dropped below 50% (a huge drop off in this generation), so in the next few generations I think we'll actually see a reversal in who looks weird in the locker room (not that this affects my medical decisions)
The death talk is probably a bit of hyperbole, but why does that indicate a trust issue with her husband? Circumcision is a lifelong decision for sexual health and I will never leave that 100% in someone else's hands. I'd be grossed out if my husband completely left something so significant up to me, I want him to care and research enough to have an opinion.
By stating we "blindly" leave decisions up to our husbands indicates we naively just threw a critical decision out there for them to make without our input. Even if that is the case, it's none of her business and we don't need anyone passing judgement if we do trust our husbands to make the final decision. I personally don't feel that I need to hand hold my husband on issues surrounding my kids penis. Just because I might "research" does not mean I know personally what it's like to care for or have a circumcised or intact penis. My husband is the wiener expert in our family and I trust him to make a good decision if we are at a draw about what to do.
Guys, c'mon with the awful experience surrounding circumcision. My oldest son, was circumcised with zero blood loss. My youngest son was circumcised in my in laws livingroom during a religious ceremony and might have bled one or two drops. They were both numbed up before it and both might have cried for two seconds. I think they both seem pretty pleased with the outcome today. If they feel like I took something away from them when I removed their foreskin as an infant we probably have bigger problems.
@lgem4 H just has a lot of issues with it around the scarred tissue in that area (TMI I know), so I think he just doesn't want our little one to deal with dry cracking skin too. He still wants to discuss it with his father just to see if his dad also has the issue but is kind of embarrassed to bring it up. I think right now he is very dead set on no because of his issues and his research. We will still talk to the OB and he will talk to his dad too. But that's good to know its not every family with psoriasis! Thanks for the info!
Which is absolutely fair for you and your family, but I don't think non-deferral indicates trust issues with her husband.
Maybe not, but in this discussion it sure sounded like it to me. Using dialogue like "blindly" sure does suggest that we might need to be on the lookout that our husbands are going to make this evil and awful decision surround the baby penis. For those of us that trust our husbands we don't feel that we are blind to anything.
We don't have what we are having yet, but if it's a boy, we will not be circumsizing. DH is native American and they do not practice it. (Yes, some tribes do, his does not.) He isn't and while he's obviously never lived the life of being circumsized, he has never had an issue with it. As for sexual things, I honestly can't tell a difference.
I concur with many PP and think that this is a decision that each family needs to consider for themselves. Research and asking medical professionals can be helpful, but it will 100% come down to the two of you.
Personal two cents for my family -- hubby and I have been discussing any potential future children since long before we were TTC and made our decision long ago. He is circumcised, but the state of his penis doesn't really play a role in whether we want to have any possible future sons "snipped." We decided long ago that it wasn't right for our family. Factors considered: It is not a medical necessity with our current access to medical care and hygiene products/clean water. There is also no religious reason to circumcise any sons within our family. Decision: we will leave any of our sons we may be blessed with intact. (Note, we don't know the sex of our child and won't until our Little Spirit is born.)
I am sure you and your DH will make the right decision for your family, and it will be your decision - no one else's.
We have a son who is intact and if our next is a boy he will also remain intact. I don't need a penis to make this decision. My husband and I both agreed, its not medically necessary. Many insurance agencies consider circumcision a cosmetic procedure now & half of parents are now choosing to keep their sons intact so locker room comparisons do not matter either. My mom jumped all over me for religious reasons but I do not believe my children will go to hell if they aren't circumcised.
I don't judge any decision regarding circumcision. But we chose to circ for several reasons. As a nurse I have seen all the sides of circumcision. I have watched hundreds of circumcisions. For me the reasons were: 1) Health benefits - studies have shown increased risk of STDs/infection and 5x higher risk of penile cancer in uncircumcised men. Although the AAP takes an overall neutral stance they do say "the health benefits outweigh the risks" and I have found this to be true for me in all the research I have done and my personal experiences in healthcare. 2) I have seen/dealt with numerous circumcisions in newborns and also in elderly men. The first group recovers quickly and easily. The second group does not! 3) DH is circumcised. I asked how he felt. He's glad he is and wanted his son to be.
It is a very personal decision, but I did put a lot of thought and research into it.
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Also, while I agree that there are risks associated with circumcision I also feel the numbers are somewhat inflated. Plus, there is no information about where those numbers came from. Are these in hospital, in clinic, at home? Who is doing these circumcisions? I have never seen a serious complication in many years of working with circs on a daily basis. If indeed the PP has "several friends" whose babies died from circumcision, I am deeply concerned about healthcare in her area. Circumcision risks should definitely be considered, but they should be weighed against the risks of not doing it.
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We don't know if we are having a boy a girl yet, but it's a boy, we would like to leave him intact. DH was circ'd as a baby, and he told me he wish his parents hadn't chosen to do it. We think it's a unnecessary procedure. I also feel genital mutilation to anyone - boy or girl - is cruel, especially when they are small and can't voice their own opinion. These are our personal feelings and opinions. We respect others' decision if it's right for your family, but it's not right for us.
By the way, I started reading up on this topic and found several sources say one of the biggest advocates for circumcision was John Harvey Kellogg (yes, the corn flakes cereal guy) that promoted this procedure in the US, and what he wanted was to make sex feel less pleasurable and to prevent males from masturbating (this was during the sex phobic era of early 19th century). That sounds pretty crazy to me! And someone actually made a video out of it...
Our first son is not circumcised. I told my husband that, as the sole penis owner of the household, he had the final say, but I wasn't for it. At that point (a couple years ago) I'm pretty sure the AAP was either neutral or leaning against circumcision slightly. Last I knew they were leaning towards it slightly but I still won't if this baby is a boy.
I hold no judgments against people that decide to circumcise, but I'm not into permanent unnecessary modifications without it being the individual's decision (no baby circumcision, ear piercing, or tattoos for us).
I don't judge any decision regarding circumcision. But we chose to circ for several reasons. As a nurse I have seen all the sides of circumcision. I have watched hundreds of circumcisions. For me the reasons were: 1) Health benefits - studies have shown increased risk of STDs/infection and 5x higher risk of penile cancer in uncircumcised men. Although the AAP takes an overall neutral stance they do say "the health benefits outweigh the risks" and I have found this to be true for me in all the research I have done and my personal experiences in healthcare. 2) I have seen/dealt with numerous circumcisions in newborns and also in elderly men. The first group recovers quickly and easily. The second group does not! 3) DH is circumcised. I asked how he felt. He's glad he is and wanted his son to be.
It is a very personal decision, but I did put a lot of thought and research into it.
@NICU RN Thank you for the thoughtful response. A couple questions for you as a nurse, why are older men sometimes circumcised? Is it a choice or due to infection? Also, how are baby's numbed during the surgery? Thanks!
OH and I recently had this conversation and we are both for circumcising if we have a boy. I have done plenty of research on the subject (as I research basically everything religiously). We are not doing it for religious reasons or for the fact that "everyone else in the family is." It's a personal decision that needs to be made between the parents and no one should be bashing others for choosing for or against circumcision.
Re: The Circumcision Talk
DH and I already know we're having a girl, but we had decided before hand that we wouldn't circumcise if it was a boy. I'm generally in favor of not medically intervening unless it is required, so this has always stuck me as odd that this has hung on so long for no reason (assuming you live in a place with access to good hygiene and condoms (if you're worried about the very slight bump in aids transmission)). Plus I did a bunch of research and many places in the US the circumcision rate at birth has dropped below 50% (a huge drop off in this generation), so in the next few generations I think we'll actually see a reversal in who looks weird in the locker room (not that this affects my medical decisions)
By stating we "blindly" leave decisions up to our husbands indicates we naively just threw a critical decision out there for them to make without our input. Even if that is the case, it's none of her business and we don't need anyone passing judgement if we do trust our husbands to make the final decision. I personally don't feel that I need to hand hold my husband on issues surrounding my kids penis. Just because I might "research" does not mean I know personally what it's like to care for or have a circumcised or intact penis. My husband is the wiener expert in our family and I trust him to make a good decision if we are at a draw about what to do.
Awkward Family Fun
P.S. we are EDD buddies
Personal two cents for my family -- hubby and I have been discussing any potential future children since long before we were TTC and made our decision long ago. He is circumcised, but the state of his penis doesn't really play a role in whether we want to have any possible future sons "snipped." We decided long ago that it wasn't right for our family. Factors considered: It is not a medical necessity with our current access to medical care and hygiene products/clean water. There is also no religious reason to circumcise any sons within our family. Decision: we will leave any of our sons we may be blessed with intact. (Note, we don't know the sex of our child and won't until our Little Spirit is born.)
I am sure you and your DH will make the right decision for your family, and it will be your decision - no one else's.
1) Health benefits - studies have shown increased risk of STDs/infection and 5x higher risk of penile cancer in uncircumcised men. Although the AAP takes an overall neutral stance they do say "the health benefits outweigh the risks" and I have found this to be true for me in all the research I have done and my personal experiences in healthcare.
2) I have seen/dealt with numerous circumcisions in newborns and also in elderly men. The first group recovers quickly and easily. The second group does not!
3) DH is circumcised. I asked how he felt. He's glad he is and wanted his son to be.
It is a very personal decision, but I did put a lot of thought and research into it.
By the way, I started reading up on this topic and found several sources say one of the biggest advocates for circumcision was John Harvey Kellogg (yes, the corn flakes cereal guy) that promoted this procedure in the US, and what he wanted was to make sex feel less pleasurable and to prevent males from masturbating (this was during the sex phobic era of early 19th century). That sounds pretty crazy to me! And someone actually made a video out of it...
Our first son is not circumcised. I told my husband that, as the sole penis owner of the household, he had the final say, but I wasn't for it. At that point (a couple years ago) I'm pretty sure the AAP was either neutral or leaning against circumcision slightly. Last I knew they were leaning towards it slightly but I still won't if this baby is a boy.
I hold no judgments against people that decide to circumcise, but I'm not into permanent unnecessary modifications without it being the individual's decision (no baby circumcision, ear piercing, or tattoos for us).