I never looked down there and DH didn't either. With DS I didn't walk around after and my recovery was worse. With DD I walked around the hospital the day after and would get out of bed and sit in the chair for a little while, the recovery was better. I only had two stitches with DS and no tear with DD. i recommend, if you can to walk around the day after or at least get out of bed and sit in a chair.
With both kids DH stayed in the hospital, the day we came home and one more day. That was it. I had a family friend help with DS and MIL help with DD. I plan on my mom coming and helping this time. DH wants to save his PTO. We might be moving in August and he wants to take that time then so we have a paycheck.
With DS I nursed and had to use a nipple shield. I am going to try my best to not introduce one to this baby. That was my biggest mistake. With DD I pumped exclusively and the hospital grade pump was awesome. I probably won't pump this time until a couple weeks after, just to make sure this baby can latch on properly.
So if this is a TMI question please just ignore me..but this is one of the things I am most terrified for! I've heard so many different things about how much bleeding goes on down there after a vaginal delivery. I've heard it's like you get all the periods you missed in the 9 months you were pregnant only 10x heavier, like running down your legs constantly heavier, but I've also heard it's very light. So how bad is it really? And I guess this one kind of goes with the question earlier in the thread, but how soon after a vaginal delivery were you able to go out w/o worrying about bleeding through your pants?
Like a heavy period. I used Always overnights maxi pads w/ wings (orange wrapper). I don't think I ever leaked through or anything. For me, it wasn't worse than a heavy period. I wish I would have kept a journal or something. I don't recall how long it went on for, maybe a month? I feel like I wore pads longer than I needed to, just to be safe. Same thing with nursing pads. LOL!
@mckcak23 - Nope, but my hospital gave me tons of mesh underwear and I wore those as long as the heavy bleeding lasted. It sounds so unattractive but it was great not having to worry about possibly ruining my underwear. They held the big pads better, anyway.
So if this is a TMI question please just ignore me..but this is one of the things I am most terrified for! I've heard so many different things about how much bleeding goes on down there after a vaginal delivery. I've heard it's like you get all the periods you missed in the 9 months you were pregnant only 10x heavier, like running down your legs constantly heavier, but I've also heard it's very light. So how bad is it really? And I guess this one kind of goes with the question earlier in the thread, but how soon after a vaginal delivery were you able to go out w/o worrying about bleeding through your pants?
As PPs have said, it's different for everyone. At the hospital, you get these gigantic pads (stash a few in your bag for after you leave!). I wore those for about 2 or 3 days, just because the clots could be big and it was just easier to wear the biggest thing I could. After that, I switched to heavy flow pads for a week, then to regular pads for a couple weeks. I never bled through anything, just be sure to check and change your pad a lot, especially in the beginning.
I bled pretty heavily for the first two days(I had a second degree tear). When I came home, by the second day (I think) was using extra long but thin pads, with wings. Also stash a few of the ice packs they give you. You twist and shake them and it's some sort of icy gel. They're AMAZING!!!
Be careful with birth plans. Obviously educate yourself and what's available to you but do not get so caught up on details. I have seen women that get so caught up on the details and how they expected it to go that once it's derailed they kind of lose sight of what's truly important, a healthy baby and Momma, and feel all sorts of guilt and stress over the delivery afterwards.
I tore bad with my first. TMI but I tore straight up to my clit and then down as well. My OB actually told my H that they couldn't fix everything. I was super swollen and sore for two-three weeks. I didn't tear with 2 or 3 and I was only swollen and sore for like a week or so. The contractions after delivery with #2&3 were the worst part. They lasted for about a week or so as the uterus is going down and get stronger when you BF. I bleed for effing ever. A lot for the first 3 weeks then spot on and off for weeks after. Most women are done between 4-6wks.
We have two big dogs and a cat. We never brought a blanket home first or anything. We did brush up on obedience with our dogs, and put together nursery furniture before hand so the cat could explore it and then leave it alone.
H is never home for more than a few days after and was back going OOT within a week or so. I prefer it this way. Since my H does work OOT it's easier for me to just yank the bandaid off and get into our new schedule.
Because I did tear so bad with #1 I took me a bit longer to be up and about. #3 I was out 3 days PP at a Christmas tree farm, taking my boys to see Santa, and going out to eat. Listen to your body. Everybody is going to have a different recovery time, your body will tell you when it's time to relax.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Has anyone given birth in a birthing tub? I asked this in June too, but feel like no one had first-hand accounts to share. Did DH or the midwife or anyone get in the tub with you? How clean/dirty was the water in the tub, was there a filter or something (mostly want to know what the gross-out factor will be for DH)? Also who catches the baby in the tub? Do you reach down and deliver your own baby or was that an option if you wanted to? Any tub info would be awesome! Anything anybody wants to share about their tub experience that I am not thinking of will be greatly appreciated.
I had to force myself out. Some days it was a walk around the block or to the park, other days I went to a friend's or vice versa.
For my pets, DH brought home a blanket, LO used while in the hospital and let them (dogs and cat) smell it. We also let them inspect baby- under our supervision, it's a big change for them too.
DH was only able to spend the two days I was in the hospital with us. He was heading to work when I was heading home with my mom and LO. This time around we're planning on at least a week. Although he'd love to spend more time with us.
I started pumping about two weeks after I began BFING. I wanted to get the hang of LO nursing first. What I would suggest, if LO nurses from only one side in a session, is to pump while baby nurses the opposite side. I would always yield more while LO was nursing. See if you can schedule a meeting with a lactation consultant before LO arrives. They'll be able to coach you better on the subject and help you find a technique that best suits you.
Unless your LO has to go into NICU or has some other problem, or you plan to EP from the start, pumping is not recommended until 4-6wks PP. This allows for your milk supply to regulate. Over supply hurts like hell and can cause tons of problems too.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
@schaze I got to take home some of the huge pads from the hospital and then switched to super pads afterward. I changed them probably every two hours for a good 2-3 weeks and they did occasionally leak. TMI: I had big clots. 2 weeks pp one was the size of a plum. Scared the crap of me. Called the doctor and she just said if it's not happening a ton like that, not to worry about it. I have a friend who swears by adult diapers though. Getting them on and off seemed like a mess and I wasn't desperate enough to try.
@PleaseSendPicklesNow DH was helpful because he understood exactly what I wanted as far as birth plan and could deal with the doctors and nurses for me so that I could focus. That said, I did not get an epi and mostly wanted my own space and quiet. He snuck me snacks when the nurses weren't around, told me when my contractions had peaked on the monitor and I could relax, and took my socks on/off depending on if I was shivering or sweating. Otherwise, I didn't want him to touch me or talk to me really, but that's my personality and kind of what we both expected.
Is it realistic or complete insanity to plan a trip (complete with 15 hour drive one way) a month after the baby is due/born? DH is going on a business trip to an area we've both been wanting to visit. We would be driving down in our car in a convoy with his business partner and his family (his kids are 11 and 14). Am I crazy to consider it?
We drove 10 hours about a month maybe two after DS was born. We stopped to move him around and nurse every few hours. He did really well for a while. It also helped that we started out really early on our trip. so LO slept for a good portion.
I might also note that all babies handle travel differently than others. I'd check with your travel companions and sees how they feel about it.
@mckcak23 I had a vaginal, medicated delivery. I had minimal tearing - just needed 1 stitch. I would say I felt normal and ready to be out and about 10-14 days afterwards. During the first week home, I thought I was doing better and tried stopping the pain meds, but found out that was a bad decision. I was back to my normal self by the time they ran out, though.
With regard to dogs, in addition to bringing home some of the first items of clothing DS wore in the hospital which PPs mentioned, we also bought a baby doll. We dressed it in one of the onesies we had already received for DS, and we put baby lotion on the doll so that it would smell like the baby. DH and I would each sit on the couch watching TV, holding the doll. We'd let the dogs come up and sniff/lick the baby, but we made sure to correct them if they did anything much beyond that. When we brought DS home, they behaved like a dream. It was like some great reunion - they were so excited for him to be there. They've really been great with him.
I had DS on a Tuesday, and we went home on a Thursday. DH spent the entire time with me in the hospital, and he was able to take the following week off as well. It was nice having him home, and I don't think I was overly dependent on having him there for support. In fact, he let me do most everything myself and mainly just cooked and cleaned while doing the occasional diaper change and giving baby snuggles.
Breast-feeding and pumping gave me a complex, so I didn't do much of either.
@schaze As PPs mentioned, this will vary from woman to woman, but as I mentioned above, I had a vaginal birth with minimal tearing. I'd say the bleeding stopped after about 2 weeks. I second @MamaBish 's recommendation to just monitor/change your pads regularly, and you shouldn't have any issues with overflow/ruining any clothing.
@PleaseSendPicklesNow 2. Was your husband's presence helpful or annoying? I'm assuming you mean his presence in L&D? My DH left the room when it was time to push, and honestly I didn't miss having him there. My mom was my birthing buddy, and at that point, all I was concerned with was meeting my baby!
3. How do you know when it's time to leave home and go to the hospital/birthing center? My water broke, and my contractions were immediately painful and 3 minutes apart. My doctor had told me earlier that day that whenever my water did break, that I would have the baby pretty quickly afterwards. I had DS 5 hours after my water broke. So I'm glad I high-tailed it to the hospital!
4.
Some STMs recommend perineal massage to prevent tearing. If you did
this, how early did you start? How often did you do it? Did it work for
you? I did not do this; however, during the pushing process, my doctor actually created a "water slide" effect (her words, not mine) by essentially coating the canal with baby shampoo. It's been a proven method for her, and I only had 1 stitch, so I suppose it worked out for me!
My Dr's follow the 5-1-1 rule as far as when to go to the hospital. Contractions 5mins apart, lasting about a minute long for 1hr. Call L&D if you are unsure and they will tell you if they think you should come in or not.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
@PleaseSendPicklesNow I had an emergency c-section after 16 hours of labor. I was fully dilated for at least a couple hours and DS's head just wasn't coming down. Plus, his heart rate started doing things that worried the doc. It turned out that his head was just too big for my pelvis--when they pulled him out, he had a cone head from where it was trying to squish through. Based on the anatomy scan, we knew his head was big, like 90th percentile big, but I'm still glad we tried because the ultrasounds can be notoriously inaccurate and you don't know what your body can do.
@schaze the bleeding can be pretty intense after birth--whether cs or vaginal. to give you an idea, i think the standard is that if you pass a blood clot **bigger** than a softball, you should call your ob. so, yeah, golf ball sized clots are perfectly okay. i think i bled for about 5 weeks...it stopped right before my ob checkup, but it was only heavy for a week or so.
i started pumping immediately at the hospital (every two-three hours--ugh) because my DS had a weak sucking reflex and wouldn't latch. the pumps they provide at the hospital are awesome and I highly recommend renting them! like @melodramatic26, I ended up EP and do NOT recommend it. I did it because I felt a lot of overwhelming guilt about not BF but it probably wasn't the best choice overall for me and DS--so much time that I could have spent cuddling him instead of being milked like a cow. It's so nice to hear success stories with BF a second child! My fingers are crossed for this time.
When DD2 was born and started sucking and latched on immediately, I was like "OHHHHH this is how this is supposed to go???" It was so completely different. And absolutely possible.
I also had the same feelings about EPing. I did it out guilt and looking back I totally regret all that time I was tied to the pump. I had decided early on in pregnancy #2 that I wasn't going to do that again and just knowing I had let go of the guilty that could be there was huge. I hope #2 is a success for you too
Yes and yes! I started pumping in the hospital because baby wasn't really latching on and things just weren't working. Turned out in addition to having flat nipples I just wasn't making any milk. The hospital set me up with their pump and I pumped every few hours starting from birth and wasn't get a single drop of milk. The lactation consultant kept saying it was all perfectly normal and I believed her like an idiot. They sent me home with a nipple shield, a pump, and a supplemental nursing system in addition to trying to get him to feed on his own. I was super frustrated and by the time he was a week old he was basically starving and we had to start with formula. I kept pumping and was eventually able to get some supply but he would never latch and I never made enough not to supplement. I pumped for 6 months and it was terrible. Could not agree more that I should have spent the time enjoying him instead of being "milked like a cow"!
With this baby I'm happy to give it a shot but I'm not using any plastic contraptions and if it doesn't work I'm just going to be thankful that we live in a time when there is a safe alternative for feeding my baby.
I had a C/S but I was ready to be out and about a few days after we got home from the hospital. We had a lot of visitors and I felt great and had no problem with them coming by except it was so hard to deal with the breastfeeding issues that were too complicated to explain to people - "oh, nice of you to stop by, I have to go attempt to feed my baby using plastic doo-hickies for the next hour, see ya".
Yikes.. I hadn't heard anything about clots! And also hadn't heard about bleeding after a c/s, which is good to know in case I can't deliver vaginally. @PugsandKisses you are a genius for starting this thread.
@schazeI feel like I was not the norm, but I did not bleed as much as I thought. First 3 or 5 days yes, but then I switched to normal pads. And I had stocked up on so many of those GIANT pads lol. My closet had more of those than diapers.
As far as recovery...I was fully up and about in about a week. My advice here: exercise through pregnancy/as late as you can, even if it's just a 10 minute walk. REST the first 3 days. Rest, rest, rest. Initial healing is key! Take the help! I don't understand women that don't want help AT ALL. Yes, you could go get a glass of water yourself, but if your MIL is offering just let her get the darn water.
I bled soooo much for 6 weeks. Giant pads. For me, this was the absolute worst part of the whole pregnancy. I knew about it but didn't think it would last so long. I wasn't comfortable leaving the house.
Then, at 8 weeks pp I started my period again (lots of women find that BFing delays the return of their period.) Not cool, body. Not cool.
Birth plans are great as long as you are flexible.
Bleeding happens, even to C/S mommas. I bled for about 7-8 weeks. I stopped around 5 and thought I was getting my period at 6 but nope, just more PP bleeding.
Big pads with wings are more than enough to cover the bleeding. No need for depends. Buy some granny panties though. You need underwear big enough to hold those massive pads. I found my cute little panties did not suffice.
For breastfeeding, worry less about pumping and more about putting the baby on your breast. There's no need to have a 'stash' before you go back to work. I was SO worried about this with DS. At most, you need enough for LO's first day, likely around 12 ounces (1-1.5 ounces/hour away from you).
I had an unplanned C/S, am a working mom, have DS in daycare, and still breastfeed (13 months). I'm happy to answer questions related to anything!
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014! DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
@dolewhipper When it comes to the birth plan, it is pretty much whatever you want to put on there. You can have no birth plan, have a fees requests, or have a lot of things that you want to happen. I went into it, knowing that plans could change, and not to get my hopes up. But my birth plan was simple: Pain management for me, healthy mom/baby, no forceps, no vaccinations (we started them at 2 weeks old). There was a dry erase board on the wall in my delivery room, I just had my husband write it on there so it was easy for everyone to spot. This baby will be a little different (as it will be a RCS), and it will be: Pain management for me, healthy mom/healthy baby, "family-centered cesarean", no vaccinations (again, will start at 2 weeks old).
@mckcak23 I had a c-section and was not out of bed until two days after. Mostly because I was terrified. But once I was moving more, I felt better. This time, as soon as they say I can get up, I am going to get up, take a shower (I felt like a million dollars after my first shower!), and make sure I move around and don't get stiff. Once I was home, I was out and about after a day or two (but I wasn't allowed to drive until 2 weeks postpartum, so I actually followed that rule when it came to going out by myself). I am actually glad that this baby is going to be born during the 6 weeks of good weather a year, so I can get outside for a walk or to just sit in the sun and get some fresh air. DD was born in Oct, and it rains from Oct-June here. I got in the bad habit of staying inside, and then started to feel isolated and it made the days really long and overwhelming. When it came to the dog, my husband brought home DD's newborn hat to smell, each time he stopped at the house, and then when we got home, I got out of the car first and gave her a lot of love, before we took DD out of the car. We let her sniff DD, and then we all went into the house and I put DD (in the carseat) on the floor, so the dog could keep sniffing. Then the dog lost interest and took a nap. My husband worked in sales, so he couldn't take time off. He worked the whole time I was in labor, worked at least 4 hours a day while in the hospital recovering, and was back to working when we got home. Luckily, he was working from home a majority of the time, so he was able to help here and there. If he was in an office, and could unplug, I would have loved to have had him for a minimum of a week. I only breastfed in the hospital, and then EP'ed the day I came home (which is the day my milk came in as well). I actually was so-so about EPing, I liked that my supply increased a lot, because I was able to pump for four months and it stockpiled enough for almost a year, and then I was able to stop. I will be doing the same with this kid.
@stellaluna14 We let our dog continue to sleep with us, but our DD has never slept in our bed. If our plan was to have DD in there, then the dog would have to move to the floor. But I knew that if I rolled over, the dog would get out of the way.....the baby wouldn't. I didn't trust myself to have baby in the bed.
@jennyleigh16 To me, the only thing that would worry me, is caravanning. Only because you are going to have to stop more often to deal with feedings and if the baby has a meltdown of some sort. I would feel like the rest of the group would be annoyed having to continue stopping, I would feel bad and rushed, and would stress about it. MH and I are use to long trips like that (with DD), and we wouldn't have an issue with it. We are taking this baby on a trip when he/she is a couple of weeks old. When DD was one, we did a 3,000+ mile trip, and people were freaking out about the fact that we would "dare" to do a trip like that with a one year old. But I guess for us, we have just never made it a big deal, and figure if we never do it....then we would always be scared to do it. But we never went with a group (when it came to the travel part - we were always with people at our destination), caravanning would be the part that stressed me out...traveling with a newborn wouldn't stress me out.
@schaze I remember all of my friends in the months before me, having babies, and they were talking about large clots and all kinds of other things. I never had any clots, it was just like a semi-heavy flow. The part that really bothered me the most, was the fact that I had to wear pads. I hate pads. I feel all sweaty down there, like I am getting swamp-crotch. Mine tapered off and stopped by 5.5 weeks, and then I had my 6 week postpartum appointment, and week #7, my period started back up. I would say that my first period, was worse than postpartum bleeding, because I didn't have any cramping with the postpartum bleeding, but my cramps during my first period were awful! I was also one to snag the pads and the underwear from the hospital. The underwear are ugly, but they were thin, and they were large enough that they went over where my c-section incision was...so it didn't irritate that spot like my regular underwear did at the time.
@PleaseSendPicklesNow I had an emergency c-section. My membranes were stripped twice (39 weeks and 40 weeks) and nothing happened. I didn't even dilate any more, and stayed at a 1cm. The day before hitting 41 weeks, I was induced. It took 12 hours to go from 1cm-2cm, ten minutes to go from 2cm-5cm, two hours to go from 5cm-9cm, and then I stalled at 9cm for 7 hours. I did hit 9.5cm, and I did try and push through the little lip that was still there, but nothing was happening. She wasn't dropping, but her heart rate was. After 6 pushes, they called it and I was taken to the OR. At that point, I was so tired I didn't even care that I was having a c-section, and just wanted us both to be healthy. And I know my OB was a stickler for trying everything before having to take any extreme measures, so I knew it was the last resort for her....especially when DD's heart was almost stopping each time I pushed. From start to finish, the whole thing was 28 hours, and she was born with the NICU team in there to check her out, but we were both fine (although she was pretty bruised). My husband was a nervous wreck and stayed away from me (except during surgery) because he didn't know what to do, but he also knows that I don't like to be talked to or bothered when not feeling well or in pain. As soon as she was born, he was all hands on and fine. I was induced, so that is how I knew went to leave for the hospital. HAHA! I didn't do any massaging beforehand.
Also, I know this wasn't asked, but I had no idea about this until after I had DD (so I figure I would throw it out there), and when I brought it up to other mom's they were like "oh I know!"....
You may sweat, like crazy after birth. I was not one of those people that gained a little bit of weight and looked cute. Even though I exercised a couple of times a week, ate healthy, and all of that jazz, I still gained 75 pounds. Given that I could write on my leg and the indentions would stay there for like 30min, I knew that a lot of it was water weight. But holy, I was not prepared for the amount of sweating that would happen post-delivery. Especially after I was pumped with 5 more pounds of fluids in the hospital. When my body had time to regulate, after coming home, I would wake up completely soaked at night. It was like I climbed into the shower with all of my clothing on, and then climbed back into bed. I would have to get up at night and change my clothes. Several of my friends/family members said the same thing happened to them. So that 80 pounds (including the 5 pounds of fluids in the hospital), almost 60 of it was gone within the first 1-2 weeks. DD was 9 pounds, and then the weight of the placenta and everything else baby related (like 3-5 pounds), and the rest was built up fluids. And since there was a good 46 (-/+) pounds of fluids to get rid of, there was a lot of peeing and sweating going on.
Guys... I don't think I want to do this. This sounds atrocious.
Any advice on how to get your baby to teleport out of your body?
I was SO scared of labor and delivery. Each of mine were different, but I would (and am currently) do it all over again. Once you hold that sweet baby, your mind will forget all the pain.
Unless your LO has to go into NICU or has some other problem, or you plan to EP from the start, pumping is not recommended until 4-6wks PP. This allows for your milk supply to regulate. Over supply hurts like hell and can cause tons of problems too.
Everyone talks about lack of supply but from what I have heard (I was always trying to maintain my supply and had to work for it as an EPer) oversupply is worse! While pumping a lot is important in the beginning if you are an EPer, if you are able to breastfeed lay off the pump!
I was super worried how my dog would adapt to the baby and was super stressed about it and she didn't give a shit about it so it was stress over nothing.
C/S are not as bad as everyone makes them out to be and recovery isn't horrible. That being said you might feel good after 2 weeks but take it easy for the full 6 weeks otherwise you will be sorry!
Take care of yourself and the baby, the housework can wait! Also stand up for yourself and tell people to leave if you need your space!
I didn't tear at all with DS and have to say that it still took a month for me to feel normal down there lol, but it did go completely back to the way it was before. Make sure you get the peri bottle from the hospital to assist with peeing, honestly burns so much. My advice is to put a plastic sheet on your bed when you get close to your due date, because my water broke in my sleep in the middle of the night, big mess haha. Invest in some natural breast pads if you're planning on breastfeeding. The store bought ones gave me hives, but you need something to put in your bra to stem the flow! Also, I bled for about 6 weeks post partum, but not heavy I would compare it to a light period. Hope that helps!
@noelietrex I am also curious for some personal accounts of using the birthing tub...I hope someone here has some insight!
I have a few more questions as well...
- how long was it after birth until you felt up to having sex again?
- how long after birth did you have to stay in the hospital/birthing center? I told my mom that if everything went smoothly I would love to be out in six hours or less (after birth obviously) and she thought I was crazy.
- for those that struggled with ppd, did you recognize it first or did someone else?
C/S are not as bad as everyone makes them out to be and recovery isn't horrible. That being said you might feel good after 2 weeks but take it easy for the full 6 weeks otherwise you will be sorry!
I think that really depends on your c/s. I have a high tolerance for pain, but my OB flat out said that my c-section was one of her hardest. DD was pretty stuck in there, and it took a lot of pulling (along with a nurse on the OR table pushing on my stomach from the top, while OB pulled). Instead of the normal 6 week "no lifting" rule, and no sex for 6 weeks, I was restricted for 12 weeks.
But obviously, it didn't scare me away from having anymore children.
Thanks for all the advice posted so far. I'm sure I will have a ton of questions for all of you ladies in the next weeks and months. I also read the thread "Postpartum Preparedness" on TTGP and was scared straight and actually had cold feet about TTC. This is better timing because it's too late to turn back now
@sboston06 I think for me, it was all of the unknown that stressed me out. Pregnancy/labor/delivery was never talked about with the females in my family. And most of my friends never really talked about it either. So when I did read about stuff online, I was like "WHAAAAAAT?! I DIDN'T KNOW THAT HAPPENED!" There was so much worry about when/where/how I would go into labor, if I would end up with a c-section, what would happen to my bodily functions afterwards, etc. But when it was actually happening, and it was in the moment, it didn't seem like that big of a deal. I am a very modest person, and it was funny how I didn't give two sh*t about how many people were staring at my goods, or reaching up there to see how dilated it was. It was like "Hi....I just met you two minutes ago, but feel free to shove your hand up there and feel me up....." I was scared of the epidural, and I don't even remember them giving it to me. I was scared my water would break in public and I would be horrified, but it didn't break until I was at the hospital, and I don't even remember it. The postpartum bleeding wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I think that I worried about it a lot more, than I should have....because now I look back and laugh.
@noelietrex I am also curious for some personal accounts of using the birthing tub...I hope someone here has some insight!
I have a few more questions as well...
- how long was it after birth until you felt up to having sex again?
- how long after birth did you have to stay in the hospital/birthing center? I told my mom that if everything went smoothly I would love to be out in six hours or less (after birth obviously) and she thought I was crazy.
- for those that struggled with ppd, did you recognize it first or did someone else?
I'll come up with more I'm sure...
1) I wanted sex right away after both my C/S, like 2 week PP. But you are still healing, so no sex for at least 6 weeks and when your Dr clears you. But yes, at 2 weeks I was looking at my DH like I was 17 again.
2) Most hospitals will keep you for 24 hours after a vaginal birth, and 48-72 for a C/S. This way they can confirm lab work for both you and baby. Such as the COOMBS test, which needs to be done after 24 hours. Birthing Centers (stand alone ones) are 'different'.
3). I had PPD with my 2nd. I knew something was off. DH pushed me to get seen. I was not your normal PPD. I didnt cry, or was sad. I was more 'numb', tired all the time, stayed in bed, and NOTHING brought me joy. I went on Celexa and went back to therapy. I am no longer on Celexa, but still in therapy. Both made a big difference. Also, it is normal for almost all mom's to have phase of 'baby blues'. this happens like 2-3 weeks out, and does not last. Unlike PPD, thoughts of self harm, and harming the baby are NOT 'baby blues'.
- how long was it after birth until you felt up to having sex again? I had some good tears so we waited until right after the 6 month pp check up. It hurt a lot. We waited about a month each time for a while because we were both nervous about it hurting. I think it felt okay again around 5 months.
- how long after birth did you have to stay in the hospital/birthing center? I told my mom that if everything went smoothly I would love to be out in six hours or less (after birth obviously) and she thought I was crazy. We stayed 2 nights and I thought I wanted to have all the time they would give me. DD was born colicky and we didn't feel comfortable sending her to the nursery, so I didn't sleep at all. This time, I'm thinking one night and get out. I slept much better after the hospital because DH could take her down the hall for her nonstop screaming while I slept a few hours. I would not feel up to walking around the house 6 hours after birth probably. It depends on how much help you have and how your house is laid out I guess.
Guys... I don't think I want to do this. This sounds atrocious.
Any advice on how to get your baby to teleport out of your body?
I was SO scared of labor and delivery. Each of mine were different, but I would (and am currently) do it all over again. Once you hold that sweet baby, your mind will forget all the pain.
^^^THIS! I remember pushing for 30 minutes and not being able to breathe because of pain and then nothing. It was like I imagined all the pain. Once you hold your precious baby(ies) it's all worth it. Regardless of delivery, so long as you're both healthy it's a successful delivery.
Re: Ask a BTDT mom questions about birth/recovery/breastfeeding
With both kids DH stayed in the hospital, the day we came home and one more day. That was it. I had a family friend help with DS and MIL help with DD. I plan on my mom coming and helping this time. DH wants to save his PTO. We might be moving in August and he wants to take that time then so we have a paycheck.
With DS I nursed and had to use a nipple shield. I am going to try my best to not introduce one to this baby. That was my biggest mistake. With DD I pumped exclusively and the hospital grade pump was awesome. I probably won't pump this time until a couple weeks after, just to make sure this baby can latch on properly.
DD #2: EDD July 2016
I tore bad with my first. TMI but I tore straight up to my clit and then down as well. My OB actually told my H that they couldn't fix everything. I was super swollen and sore for two-three weeks. I didn't tear with 2 or 3 and I was only swollen and sore for like a week or so. The contractions after delivery with #2&3 were the worst part. They lasted for about a week or so as the uterus is going down and get stronger when you BF. I bleed for effing ever. A lot for the first 3 weeks then spot on and off for weeks after. Most women are done between 4-6wks.
We have two big dogs and a cat. We never brought a blanket home first or anything. We did brush up on obedience with our dogs, and put together nursery furniture before hand so the cat could explore it and then leave it alone.
H is never home for more than a few days after and was back going OOT within a week or so. I prefer it this way. Since my H does work OOT it's easier for me to just yank the bandaid off and get into our new schedule.
Because I did tear so bad with #1 I took me a bit longer to be up and about. #3 I was out 3 days PP at a Christmas tree farm, taking my boys to see Santa, and going out to eat. Listen to your body. Everybody is going to have a different recovery time, your body will tell you when it's time to relax.
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For my pets, DH brought home a blanket, LO used while in the hospital and let them (dogs and cat) smell it. We also let them inspect baby- under our supervision, it's a big change for them too.
DH was only able to spend the two days I was in the hospital with us. He was heading to work when I was heading home with my mom and LO. This time around we're planning on at least a week. Although he'd love to spend more time with us.
I started pumping about two weeks after I began BFING. I wanted to get the hang of LO nursing first. What I would suggest, if LO nurses from only one side in a session, is to pump while baby nurses the opposite side. I would always yield more while LO was nursing. See if you can schedule a meeting with a lactation consultant before LO arrives. They'll be able to coach you better on the subject and help you find a technique that best suits you.
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@PleaseSendPicklesNow DH was helpful because he understood exactly what I wanted as far as birth plan and could deal with the doctors and nurses for me so that I could focus. That said, I did not get an epi and mostly wanted my own space and quiet. He snuck me snacks when the nurses weren't around, told me when my contractions had peaked on the monitor and I could relax, and took my socks on/off depending on if I was shivering or sweating. Otherwise, I didn't want him to touch me or talk to me really, but that's my personality and kind of what we both expected.
I had a vaginal, medicated delivery. I had minimal tearing - just needed 1 stitch. I would say I felt normal and ready to be out and about 10-14 days afterwards. During the first week home, I thought I was doing better and tried stopping the pain meds, but found out that was a bad decision. I was back to my normal self by the time they ran out, though.
With regard to dogs, in addition to bringing home some of the first items of clothing DS wore in the hospital which PPs mentioned, we also bought a baby doll. We dressed it in one of the onesies we had already received for DS, and we put baby lotion on the doll so that it would smell like the baby. DH and I would each sit on the couch watching TV, holding the doll. We'd let the dogs come up and sniff/lick the baby, but we made sure to correct them if they did anything much beyond that. When we brought DS home, they behaved like a dream. It was like some great reunion - they were so excited for him to be there. They've really been great with him.
I had DS on a Tuesday, and we went home on a Thursday. DH spent the entire time with me in the hospital, and he was able to take the following week off as well. It was nice having him home, and I don't think I was overly dependent on having him there for support. In fact, he let me do most everything myself and mainly just cooked and cleaned while doing the occasional diaper change and giving baby snuggles.
Breast-feeding and pumping gave me a complex, so I didn't do much of either.
@schaze
As PPs mentioned, this will vary from woman to woman, but as I mentioned above, I had a vaginal birth with minimal tearing. I'd say the bleeding stopped after about 2 weeks. I second @MamaBish 's recommendation to just monitor/change your pads regularly, and you shouldn't have any issues with overflow/ruining any clothing.
@PleaseSendPicklesNow
2. Was your husband's presence helpful or annoying? I'm assuming you mean his presence in L&D? My DH left the room when it was time to push, and honestly I didn't miss having him there. My mom was my birthing buddy, and at that point, all I was concerned with was meeting my baby!
3. How do you know when it's time to leave home and go to the hospital/birthing center? My water broke, and my contractions were immediately painful and 3 minutes apart. My doctor had told me earlier that day that whenever my water did break, that I would have the baby pretty quickly afterwards. I had DS 5 hours after my water broke. So I'm glad I high-tailed it to the hospital!
4. Some STMs recommend perineal massage to prevent tearing. If you did this, how early did you start? How often did you do it? Did it work for you? I did not do this; however, during the pushing process, my doctor actually created a "water slide" effect (her words, not mine) by essentially coating the canal with baby shampoo. It's been a proven method for her, and I only had 1 stitch, so I suppose it worked out for me!
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@schaze the bleeding can be pretty intense after birth--whether cs or vaginal. to give you an idea, i think the standard is that if you pass a blood clot **bigger** than a softball, you should call your ob. so, yeah, golf ball sized clots are perfectly okay. i think i bled for about 5 weeks...it stopped right before my ob checkup, but it was only heavy for a week or so.
With this baby I'm happy to give it a shot but I'm not using any plastic contraptions and if it doesn't work I'm just going to be thankful that we live in a time when there is a safe alternative for feeding my baby.
I had a C/S but I was ready to be out and about a few days after we got home from the hospital. We had a lot of visitors and I felt great and had no problem with them coming by except it was so hard to deal with the breastfeeding issues that were too complicated to explain to people - "oh, nice of you to stop by, I have to go attempt to feed my baby using plastic doo-hickies for the next hour, see ya".
As far as recovery...I was fully up and about in about a week. My advice here: exercise through pregnancy/as late as you can, even if it's just a 10 minute walk. REST the first 3 days. Rest, rest, rest. Initial healing is key! Take the help! I don't understand women that don't want help AT ALL. Yes, you could go get a glass of water yourself, but if your MIL is offering just let her get the darn water.
Then, at 8 weeks pp I started my period again (lots of women find that BFing delays the return of their period.) Not cool, body. Not cool.
Some general comments to questions:
- Birth plans are great as long as you are flexible.
- Bleeding happens, even to C/S mommas. I bled for about 7-8 weeks. I stopped around 5 and thought I was getting my period at 6 but nope, just more PP bleeding.
- Big pads with wings are more than enough to cover the bleeding. No need for depends. Buy some granny panties though. You need underwear big enough to hold those massive pads. I found my cute little panties did not suffice.
- For breastfeeding, worry less about pumping and more about putting the baby on your breast. There's no need to have a 'stash' before you go back to work. I was SO worried about this with DS. At most, you need enough for LO's first day, likely around 12 ounces (1-1.5 ounces/hour away from you).
I had an unplanned C/S, am a working mom, have DS in daycare, and still breastfeed (13 months). I'm happy to answer questions related to anything!DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
Any advice on how to get your baby to teleport out of your body?
@mckcak23 I had a c-section and was not out of bed until two days after. Mostly because I was terrified. But once I was moving more, I felt better. This time, as soon as they say I can get up, I am going to get up, take a shower (I felt like a million dollars after my first shower!), and make sure I move around and don't get stiff. Once I was home, I was out and about after a day or two (but I wasn't allowed to drive until 2 weeks postpartum, so I actually followed that rule when it came to going out by myself). I am actually glad that this baby is going to be born during the 6 weeks of good weather a year, so I can get outside for a walk or to just sit in the sun and get some fresh air. DD was born in Oct, and it rains from Oct-June here. I got in the bad habit of staying inside, and then started to feel isolated and it made the days really long and overwhelming. When it came to the dog, my husband brought home DD's newborn hat to smell, each time he stopped at the house, and then when we got home, I got out of the car first and gave her a lot of love, before we took DD out of the car. We let her sniff DD, and then we all went into the house and I put DD (in the carseat) on the floor, so the dog could keep sniffing. Then the dog lost interest and took a nap. My husband worked in sales, so he couldn't take time off. He worked the whole time I was in labor, worked at least 4 hours a day while in the hospital recovering, and was back to working when we got home. Luckily, he was working from home a majority of the time, so he was able to help here and there. If he was in an office, and could unplug, I would have loved to have had him for a minimum of a week. I only breastfed in the hospital, and then EP'ed the day I came home (which is the day my milk came in as well). I actually was so-so about EPing, I liked that my supply increased a lot, because I was able to pump for four months and it stockpiled enough for almost a year, and then I was able to stop. I will be doing the same with this kid.
@stellaluna14 We let our dog continue to sleep with us, but our DD has never slept in our bed. If our plan was to have DD in there, then the dog would have to move to the floor. But I knew that if I rolled over, the dog would get out of the way.....the baby wouldn't. I didn't trust myself to have baby in the bed.
@jennyleigh16 To me, the only thing that would worry me, is caravanning. Only because you are going to have to stop more often to deal with feedings and if the baby has a meltdown of some sort. I would feel like the rest of the group would be annoyed having to continue stopping, I would feel bad and rushed, and would stress about it. MH and I are use to long trips like that (with DD), and we wouldn't have an issue with it. We are taking this baby on a trip when he/she is a couple of weeks old. When DD was one, we did a 3,000+ mile trip, and people were freaking out about the fact that we would "dare" to do a trip like that with a one year old. But I guess for us, we have just never made it a big deal, and figure if we never do it....then we would always be scared to do it. But we never went with a group (when it came to the travel part - we were always with people at our destination), caravanning would be the part that stressed me out...traveling with a newborn wouldn't stress me out.
@schaze I remember all of my friends in the months before me, having babies, and they were talking about large clots and all kinds of other things. I never had any clots, it was just like a semi-heavy flow. The part that really bothered me the most, was the fact that I had to wear pads. I hate pads. I feel all sweaty down there, like I am getting swamp-crotch. Mine tapered off and stopped by 5.5 weeks, and then I had my 6 week postpartum appointment, and week #7, my period started back up. I would say that my first period, was worse than postpartum bleeding, because I didn't have any cramping with the postpartum bleeding, but my cramps during my first period were awful! I was also one to snag the pads and the underwear from the hospital. The underwear are ugly, but they were thin, and they were large enough that they went over where my c-section incision was...so it didn't irritate that spot like my regular underwear did at the time.
@PleaseSendPicklesNow I had an emergency c-section. My membranes were stripped twice (39 weeks and 40 weeks) and nothing happened. I didn't even dilate any more, and stayed at a 1cm. The day before hitting 41 weeks, I was induced. It took 12 hours to go from 1cm-2cm, ten minutes to go from 2cm-5cm, two hours to go from 5cm-9cm, and then I stalled at 9cm for 7 hours. I did hit 9.5cm, and I did try and push through the little lip that was still there, but nothing was happening. She wasn't dropping, but her heart rate was. After 6 pushes, they called it and I was taken to the OR. At that point, I was so tired I didn't even care that I was having a c-section, and just wanted us both to be healthy. And I know my OB was a stickler for trying everything before having to take any extreme measures, so I knew it was the last resort for her....especially when DD's heart was almost stopping each time I pushed. From start to finish, the whole thing was 28 hours, and she was born with the NICU team in there to check her out, but we were both fine (although she was pretty bruised). My husband was a nervous wreck and stayed away from me (except during surgery) because he didn't know what to do, but he also knows that I don't like to be talked to or bothered when not feeling well or in pain. As soon as she was born, he was all hands on and fine. I was induced, so that is how I knew went to leave for the hospital. HAHA! I didn't do any massaging beforehand.
You may sweat, like crazy after birth. I was not one of those people that gained a little bit of weight and looked cute. Even though I exercised a couple of times a week, ate healthy, and all of that jazz, I still gained 75 pounds. Given that I could write on my leg and the indentions would stay there for like 30min, I knew that a lot of it was water weight. But holy, I was not prepared for the amount of sweating that would happen post-delivery. Especially after I was pumped with 5 more pounds of fluids in the hospital. When my body had time to regulate, after coming home, I would wake up completely soaked at night. It was like I climbed into the shower with all of my clothing on, and then climbed back into bed. I would have to get up at night and change my clothes. Several of my friends/family members said the same thing happened to them. So that 80 pounds (including the 5 pounds of fluids in the hospital), almost 60 of it was gone within the first 1-2 weeks. DD was 9 pounds, and then the weight of the placenta and everything else baby related (like 3-5 pounds), and the rest was built up fluids. And since there was a good 46 (-/+) pounds of fluids to get rid of, there was a lot of peeing and sweating going on.
I was SO scared of labor and delivery. Each of mine were different, but I would (and am currently) do it all over again. Once you hold that sweet baby, your mind will forget all the pain.
C/S are not as bad as everyone makes them out to be and recovery isn't horrible. That being said you might feel good after 2 weeks but take it easy for the full 6 weeks otherwise you will be sorry!
Take care of yourself and the baby, the housework can wait! Also stand up for yourself and tell people to leave if you need your space!
My advice is to put a plastic sheet on your bed when you get close to your due date, because my water broke in my sleep in the middle of the night, big mess haha.
Invest in some natural breast pads if you're planning on breastfeeding. The store bought ones gave me hives, but you need something to put in your bra to stem the flow!
Also, I bled for about 6 weeks post partum, but not heavy I would compare it to a light period.
Hope that helps!
I have a few more questions as well...
- how long was it after birth until you felt up to having sex again?
- how long after birth did you have to stay in the hospital/birthing center? I told my mom that if everything went smoothly I would love to be out in six hours or less (after birth obviously) and she thought I was crazy.
- for those that struggled with ppd, did you recognize it first or did someone else?
I'll come up with more I'm sure...
But obviously, it didn't scare me away from having anymore children.
2) Most hospitals will keep you for 24 hours after a vaginal birth, and 48-72 for a C/S. This way they can confirm lab work for both you and baby. Such as the COOMBS test, which needs to be done after 24 hours. Birthing Centers (stand alone ones) are 'different'.
3). I had PPD with my 2nd. I knew something was off. DH pushed me to get seen. I was not your normal PPD. I didnt cry, or was sad. I was more 'numb', tired all the time, stayed in bed, and NOTHING brought me joy. I went on Celexa and went back to therapy. I am no longer on Celexa, but still in therapy. Both made a big difference.
Also, it is normal for almost all mom's to have phase of 'baby blues'. this happens like 2-3 weeks out, and does not last. Unlike PPD, thoughts of self harm, and harming the baby are NOT 'baby blues'.
- how long was it after birth until you felt up to having sex again? I had some good tears so
we waited until right after the 6 month pp check up. It hurt a lot. We waited about a month each time for a while because we were both nervous about it hurting. I think it felt okay again around 5 months.
- how long after birth did you have to stay in the hospital/birthing center? I told my mom that if everything went smoothly I would love to be out in six hours or less (after birth obviously) and she thought I was crazy.
We stayed 2 nights and I thought I wanted to have all the time they would give me. DD was born colicky and we didn't feel comfortable sending her to the nursery, so I didn't sleep at all. This time, I'm thinking one night and get out. I slept much better after the hospital because DH could take her down the hall for her nonstop screaming while I slept a few hours. I would not feel up to walking around the house 6 hours after birth probably. It depends on how much help you have and how your house is laid out I guess.