@Hummingbird125 picky eaters is a tough one for me because my 4yr old is a picky eater or at least I thought he was. From the moment we ever talked about kids we would always say oh our kids will eat what we eat and so on. We have learned though sometimes it's not just that kids are picky eaters but have a texture issue. So if DS is gagging on a certain food will try something else and later on try that food again to see if he can then stand it. Don't get me wrong it can be frustrating. Like who doesn't like mashed potatoes? My son doesn't...at least now.
My DD has a unisex name (well probably what the names board would consider a made up male name for a girl). Oh well, I love it and it's a family name. It fits her perfectly.
Regarding the picky eaters comments, I think it's easy to say that your kids will eat what you eat when you don't have a picky eater. DS eats what we eat and I'm proud of that. HOWEVER, I also realize part of that is luck of the draw. I have a friend whose DS has seen feeding specialists because he basically refuses to eat 99% of the foods he is given. Let me tell you: the need to feed your child is primal. I got my first taste of that when I was getting ready to go back to work with DS after mat leave and he refused to take a bottle. I don't think I've ever cried so hard in my life. It's hard to explain, other than it's primal. So yeah, it's easy to say "they'll eat what we eat or they'll go hungry" - but when they're on day 3 of a hunger strike, you may change your tune.
Regarding the picky eaters, I recently read that there's an actual diagnosis now for children with severe feeding issues (like those that reject 99% of foods). But barring that, I'm also on the "kids eat what we eat" plan. My brother and I had to eat what was served, and if we didn't like it, we had to try at least three bites and then we could be excused from the table. If we were guests in someone else's home, there'd be hell to pay if we were rude about the food served. I remember certain kids who my brother or I were friends with as kids who would only eat a few, limited, junky foods, even well into their school years. One mom would order cheese pizzas when their family came for a dinner party, even when my mom had cooked a nice meal. Another kid only ever ate Kraft mac and cheese for weekend lunches, and his mom asked my mom to please stock that for when he came to play. Granted,this is about two issues -- food preferences and manners. And it's really the parents being rude here and not the kids, but it carries over to the kids as they grow up. I assume most kids outgrow some of this, but I have one friend who really did not. I still know her as an adult and I'm embarrassed to eat at a restaurant with her because she'll make a disgusted face at everything on the menu, and then go off-menu and order things like plain noodles with butter, a burger with no toppings, or a plain grilled cheese. Sorry, but as an adult this just makes a person seem childish. Also she tips like 10% so we don't eat out anymore.
My pediatrician told me forcing children to eat foods they do not like can lead to issues with food/disordered eating. I do not force my DD to eat anything. Nor does she go hungry. I offer her what we eat starting with veggies, adding meat, then whatever I know she likes best after she has tried the other foods. I allow her to sit with it on her plate, if she hasn't eaten enough she gets cheese, grapes, etc. She is 19 months old, what my kid eats or doesn't eat is no ones business.
FWIW - I was also dead set on using a harness when we brought home my puppy instead of a collar. We put the harness on her and she did. not. move. I figured she'd get used to it. We kept her in it for 2 days, and literally had to carry her outside so she would go to the bathroom. She refused to even stand wearing it. Wore me down real quick.
Like I said, I'm fully aware I have no idea what I'm talking about, and I knew it could be a UO, which is why I posted it ;-)
The picky eater issue is real. @bananers TOTALLY agree with your comment. It is so easy to say that when you haven't lived through it. My two year old is best described as "spirited." My husband and I are healthy eaters and most days she gets what we are having. But honestly, after working all day, dealing with crazy schedules, and just overall being exhausted, it isn't worth the battle. If I know she will eat berries and cottage cheese and edamame and I have all of that in my fridge, I will 100% give that to her over trying to make her eat what we are having.
Before I had her I was in the same camp. I was the judgey mom who would never make two different meals, would never let her sleep in our bed and knew she would be potty trained by two. The only one of those I accomplished was the being potty trained by two and that was in NO part my doing. She was ready, plain and simple. I got lucky with that one. She is, however, not ready to eat adult food and stay in her crib. Call me lazy, but with both of us working parents, it isn't worth the tears of frustration or lack of sleep to us.
Hopefully you get a child who is totally cool with eating your meals, sleeping in their bed, and pooping in the toilet. But if not, give yourself some grace.
I was lucky and extremely blessed with my DS, to somehow manage through potty training around 2yrs old. But I'd be lying to stay it wasn't a process- especially as a single mom taking on double parenting duty! To those yet inexperienced with this lovely joy of parenting. There were plenty of "Oh my God there's poop on the floor" at age 3 in the middle of the night or when he was sick. Every child is different. And guess what, no matter what they are yours, they love you, and it's Your job to pick up the poop.
I'm kind of on the middle with the picky eater thing. I will make sure DD and this baby try as many foods as possible and they will have to at least try the food I make, but I also know that I have foods I just plain don't like (not for lack of my parents trying to make me like them). Hot dogs make me gag and pineapples have the worst taste and texture to me. I'm not going to expect our kids to like everything we do. There will be things they simply do not like. It's kind of harsh in my opinion if someone sat me down and said you must eat this hot dog or go hungry. I would probably chose to go hungry.
That being said I don't think it's fair to the kids to not make them try all kinds of different foods, even if we don't like them. Nor is it fair to let them live off of the same foods day in and day out. DD loves pineapple and peaches (DH hates them) and she will get the occasional hot dog if she likes them. Luckily so far we haven't found a single thing she doesn't like, but eventually we will run into something I'm sure.
Just came across this article, from NPR yesterday, about how babies' tastes develop. Great timing! There is a section at the end about authoritarian vs. indulgent feeding.
@hummingbird125 Something to keep in mind, sometimes kids being "picky" is them naturally avoiding allergens. I refused to eat carrots the whole time I was a kid - I'd spit out carrot baby food, refused to touch it as an older child. Turns out... I'm deathly allergic. But yes, we've all met the kids who will ONLY eat mac and cheese. In fact I knew one kid growing up that would only eat manacotti, but not stuffed shells - because she'd never had it, it was weird. At that point... Staph.
Just came across this article, from NPR yesterday, about how babies' tastes develop. Great timing! There is a section at the end about authoritarian vs. indulgent feeding.
Many studies do not promote feeding solids before 6 months. I do baby led weaning, so I guess I "missed" the window. Also, I ate all veggies very purposely while pregnant (brussel sprouts, peas, anything that was odd, or normal, I ate it all!), and continue to do so when I breast feed (and continue to breast feed). While I wouldn't say my little girl is "picky" necessarily, she certainly doesn't have the palate I imagined when I was pregnant.
I like big bows and I cannot lie. It's bigger than her face and I looooovvvveeeee it!!!
And on potty training... My first dd was daytime potty trained two months after her second birthday but still has to wear a diaper at night. She is 3 now but I didn't stop wetting the bed til I was 6 so we will stop nighttime diapers when she is ready, not when I feel like she needs to be.
Every child is different and I would never expect my one year old DD to be trained that early unless she seemed ready like her sissy was. It's totally not a lack of trying but rather an understanding that all children develop differently and its on their timing not ours. The more you force it the more they may end up hating the idea of going on the potty.
Loving some of these comments. I swore my son wouldn't be picky and would eat blah blah blah. Then when I tried to serve him something he doesn't like it will make him vomit. Not gag or spit up a little but a full blown empty the days contents on the floor vomit. A year in feeding therapy and following every guideline did very little. Some kids are not picky little brats they actually have feeding/texture issues.
The 'eat what we eat' really depends on the age too. At 20 months, if my dd is just not liking what we are having, then I'll make her something else because it's more important that she eats vs not being picky. As she gets older though, we'll slowly start being more strict about eating what's served. That being said, we're lucky that overall she's a pretty decent eater, so it's not as vital to me at this point to force certain foods on her.
@Jenniferk08 My DH was (according to him) that child that would vomit if you made him eat something he didn't want to (supposedly especially carrots). If it's any consolation, as an adult, he is probably the least picky person I know. He'll try just about anything.
@DressageDarling I hope my son outgrows some of this. It's a pain in the ass. But I have the same issues. I will gag if I taste an onion piece. Took me years to eat something with minced garlic without picking it out. Thats why I get annoyed when people think it's so easy when dealing with a picky eater. Some kids are like that and some do have issues. Somethings I do put my foot down and he has gone to bed hungry after 2 hours at the table
Re: UO 2/4
BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13
BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15
BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d
Just keep swimming.
Like I said, I'm fully aware I have no idea what I'm talking about, and I knew it could be a UO, which is why I posted it ;-)
Before I had her I was in the same camp. I was the judgey mom who would never make two different meals, would never let her sleep in our bed and knew she would be potty trained by two. The only one of those I accomplished was the being potty trained by two and that was in NO part my doing. She was ready, plain and simple. I got lucky with that one. She is, however, not ready to eat adult food and stay in her crib. Call me lazy, but with both of us working parents, it isn't worth the tears of frustration or lack of sleep to us.
Hopefully you get a child who is totally cool with eating your meals, sleeping in their bed, and pooping in the toilet. But if not, give yourself some grace.
That being said I don't think it's fair to the kids to not make them try all kinds of different foods, even if we don't like them. Nor is it fair to let them live off of the same foods day in and day out. DD loves pineapple and peaches (DH hates them) and she will get the occasional hot dog if she likes them. Luckily so far we haven't found a single thing she doesn't like, but eventually we will run into something I'm sure.
https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2016/02/04/465305656/in-babys-first-bite-a-chance-to-shape-a-childs-taste
But yes, we've all met the kids who will ONLY eat mac and cheese. In fact I knew one kid growing up that would only eat manacotti, but not stuffed shells - because she'd never had it, it was weird. At that point... Staph.
And on potty training... My first dd was daytime potty trained two months after her second birthday but still has to wear a diaper at night. She is 3 now but I didn't stop wetting the bed til I was 6 so we will stop nighttime diapers when she is ready, not when I feel like she needs to be.
Every child is different and I would never expect my one year old DD to be trained that early unless she seemed ready like her sissy was. It's totally not a lack of trying but rather an understanding that all children develop differently and its on their timing not ours. The more you force it the more they may end up hating the idea of going on the potty.
I swore my son wouldn't be picky and would eat blah blah blah. Then when I tried to serve him something he doesn't like it will make him vomit. Not gag or spit up a little but a full blown empty the days contents on the floor vomit. A year in feeding therapy and following every guideline did very little. Some kids are not picky little brats they actually have feeding/texture issues.
Thats why I get annoyed when people think it's so easy when dealing with a picky eater. Some kids are like that and some do have issues. Somethings I do put my foot down and he has gone to bed hungry after 2 hours at the table