So, maybe I shouldn't... but I want to add that I find it quite contradictory that OP is also the one the started the "Minimalist Moms" discussion a while back.
Dang! You beat me to it.
June 2016 April Siggy Challenge: Reasons my kid is crying
So, maybe I shouldn't... but I want to add that I find it quite contradictory that OP is also the one the started the "Minimalist Moms" discussion a while back.
I knew someone would mention that . My registry is only necessities, I don't even want clothes because they are all second hand. However, I want a nice party. I like celebrations that are fun and memorable, what's wrong with that. I know I am complex.
Different women, different minds, different lives, all created in HIS image. I learned something from the ladies who were not rude (that's not necessary just because someone is different). Appreciate it and have a great day!
So, maybe I shouldn't... but I want to add that I find it quite contradictory that OP is also the one the started the "Minimalist Moms" discussion a while back.
I knew someone would mention that . My registry is only necessities, I don't even want clothes because they are all second hand. However, I want a nice party. I like celebrations that are fun and memorable, what's wrong with that. I know I am complex.
So you are trying to save and doing "only necessities" but you want an over the top, expensive party? Complex isn't the word I'd use to describe that.
Also, "rude"? I think the word you are looking for there is honest. People gave honest opinions.
June 2016 April Siggy Challenge: Reasons my kid is crying
Previous posters have been far too kind to you. You are acting like a grade A snooty, stuck-up, spoiled, entitled, brat. I would be ashamed of you if you were my sister. I would offer to throw you a shower and you would hire a professional because I'm an effing "amateur" and would screw it up so bad that it would ruin your experience? It's a mother effin BABY SHOWER. Eat some cake, open some gifts and be happy.
Take a seat, lady. I don't care if you're a single mom, HG, SPD, whatever that doesn't entitle you to an upscale high-class baby shower because you've had a hard time. I hope you learn to be gracious and appreciative of what if gifted to you so your child can learn humility and respect. I'm sure your family is side the shit out of you for acting like you're so much better than them.
I hope everyone wear crocs, jean cut off shorts, and tie dye shirts to your shower. Cheers.
Different women, different minds, different lives, all created in HIS image. I learned something from the ladies who were not rude (that's not necessary just because someone is different). Appreciate it and have a great day!
You completely missed the point of the feedback that you got. It has nothing to do with different personalities. It has everything to do with what you're expecting from the people who have graciously offered to host a shower for you.
Previous posters have been far too kind to you. You are acting like a grade A snooty, stuck-up, spoiled, entitled, brat. I would be ashamed of you if you were my sister. I would offer to throw you a shower and you would hire a professional because I'm an effing "amateur" and would screw it up so bad that it would ruin your experience? It's a mother effin BABY SHOWER. Eat some cake, open some gifts and be happy.
Take a seat, lady. I don't care if you're a single mom, HG, SPD, whatever that doesn't entitle you to an upscale high-class baby shower because you've had a hard time. I hope you learn to be gracious and appreciative of what if gifted to you so your child can learn humility and respect. I'm sure your family is side the shit out of you for acting like you're so much better than them.
I hope everyone wear crocs, jean cut off shorts, and tie dye shirts to your shower. Cheers.
So, maybe I shouldn't... but I want to add that I find it quite contradictory that OP is also the one the started the "Minimalist Moms" discussion a while back.
I knew someone would mention that . My registry is only necessities, I don't even want clothes because they are all second hand. However, I want a nice party. I like celebrations that are fun and memorable, what's wrong with that. I know I am complex.
So you are trying to save and doing "only necessities" but you want an over the top, expensive party? Complex isn't the word I'd use to describe that.
Also, "rude"? I think the word you are looking for there is honest. People gave honest opinions.
"My registry is only necessities, I don't even want clothes because they are all second hand." ......wow.
So, maybe I shouldn't... but I want to add that I find it quite contradictory that OP is also the one the started the "Minimalist Moms" discussion a while back.
I knew someone would mention that . My registry is only necessities, I don't even want clothes because they are all second hand. However, I want a nice party. I like celebrations that are fun and memorable, what's wrong with that. I know I am complex.
You can have a nice party without an event planner though. We didn't have an event planner for my wedding and people raved about how it was so much fun. There's nothing wrong with wanting a fun celebration, but there is something wrong with assuming the only way to get it is to hire a professional.
Different women, different minds, different lives, all created in HIS image. I learned something from the ladies who were not rude (that's not necessary just because someone is different). Appreciate it and have a great day!
Ever hear the story Jesus told of the rich man and Lazrus? Look that one up.
"Different women, different minds, different lives, all created in HIS image. I learned something from the ladies who were not rude (that's not necessary just because someone is different). Appreciate it and have a great day!"
Different women, different minds, different lives, all created in HIS image. I learned something from the ladies who were not rude (that's not necessary just because someone is different). Appreciate it and have a great day!
Pretty sure Jesus wouldn't expect an extravagant baby shower and would be grateful that people were even offering to throw him one. Just saying.
Ok, I am going to throw you a bone here...I get that this Pinterest world we live in makes us long for beautiful parties with tissue poms, fresh roses and tea cups and that you have hopes of having one of those too. Who wouldn't want that. However, given that the nature of a shower is that it is a gift to have one thrown for you, you should only have input when asked by the host. You are going to drive your host crazy and potentially insult them otherwise. I wouldn't want to host that. Would you want to deal with that?
A peaceful way to approach this would be to apologize, thank your sister for the love and grace she is willing to extend and ask if you can convey to her just ONE thing that it important to you and realistic to execute: venue, food, theme, etc... make the request and leave it at that. You is done, yo.
Another idea, if your sister will tolerate it...I threw a shower for a high maintenance friend, I knew going into it that she was high maintenance. She had a shower pinterest board that she shared with me. I swallowed my disdain and tried to incorporate some ideas.
If you really want a posh party where you maintain creative control, throw a "meet the baby" party or a "gender reveal party" for yourself.
Trust me, you will remember your shower because you will drive away from it in tears of gratitude for the people who all showed up to love you that day. If you don't come away from it with that feeling, you need to check yourself.
My sister is throwing my baby shower. The only input I have on the shower is the day (Sunday so I don't have to take off work), and some of the guest list (because if my best friend isn't invited I'll shit a brick).
I personally don't see why many many people these days throw these over the top parties for things like baby showers or wedding showers. OP, there is nothing wrong with wanting a nice shower, BUT!!! It's really tacky that you're essentially planning your own. And as the little sister in my family, I can speak from experience in saying your sister has every right to be pissed that you've pretty much kicked her plans to the curb. My sister tried to do that to me for her first baby, but luckily for me, my mom knows when to step in and pull the bitch card out. That was probably the best shower a lot of my sisters friends and our family have been to, and they still talk about it today. Oh, and I'll add that I was 18 at the time, working full time and in school full time and still made it an awesome shower.
Trust your sister. Apologize to her, because I feel for her right about now.
Different women, different minds, different lives, all created in HIS image. I learned something from the ladies who were not rude (that's not necessary just because someone is different). Appreciate it and have a great day!
What did you learn?
DS 9/2/13 was a BFP from an IUI! Triplets due 6/29/16 also from an IUI!
Different women, different minds, different lives, all created in HIS image. I learned something from the ladies who were not rude (that's not necessary just because someone is different). Appreciate it and have a great day!
What did you learn?
That Jesus loves outlandish baby showers, I think... right?
Oh man, this thread got really catty. I think you got the same opinion from most people. I'm sorry you've had a tough road leading to this pregnancy and that you have a lot of drama with your child's father. That sucks. It's not uncommon for women in Miami to hire event planners for showers and such (I wouldn't personally want it, but like you said different strokes for different folks and this thread is about you not me). I think you definitely got your question answered, maybe moreso than you had hoped for. I agree with other posters that you should definitely let yous sister plan your shower. Maybe have two? That way you can plan your dream shower and also make sure your sister and family can celebrate you and baby how they'd like? Some of us have had our family ask us if we wanted a particular theme/color scheme but most of us are not planning our own shower or are involved in any way in the process.
Oh man, this thread got really catty. I think you got the same opinion from most people. I'm sorry you've had a tough road leading to this pregnancy and that you have a lot of drama with your child's father. That sucks. It's not uncommon for women in Miami to hire event planners for showers and such (I wouldn't personally want it, but like you said different strokes for different folks and this thread is about you not me). I think you definitely got your question answered, maybe moreso than you had hoped for. I agree with other posters that you should definitely let yous sister plan your shower. Maybe have two? That way you can plan your dream shower and also make sure your sister and family can celebrate you and baby how they'd like? Some of us have had our family ask us if we wanted a particular theme/color scheme but most of us are not planning our own shower or are involved in any way in the process.
The only thing worse than having this crazy fancy shower would be having a normal shower AND this one. PP made good suggestions, if she wants a fancy party, have a meet the baby party after the baby is born that she can plan out to whazoo if she wants. Throwing yourself a second shower because the first wasn't what you wanted (as you seem to suggest) is one of the tackiest things I've heard.
Oh man, this thread got really catty. I think you got the same opinion from most people. I'm sorry you've had a tough road leading to this pregnancy and that you have a lot of drama with your child's father. That sucks. It's not uncommon for women in Miami to hire event planners for showers and such (I wouldn't personally want it, but like you said different strokes for different folks and this thread is about you not me). I think you definitely got your question answered, maybe moreso than you had hoped for. I agree with other posters that you should definitely let yous sister plan your shower. Maybe have two? That way you can plan your dream shower and also make sure your sister and family can celebrate you and baby how they'd like? Some of us have had our family ask us if we wanted a particular theme/color scheme but most of us are not planning our own shower or are involved in any way in the process.
If I threw someone a shower and she turned around and threw her own I'd be pissed. I'm a very forgiving person, but that's a huge slap in the face.
OP the only person causing drama for this baby shower is you. As I tell my three year old "you get what you get, and you don't complain."
Oh man, this thread got really catty. I think you got the same opinion from most people. I'm sorry you've had a tough road leading to this pregnancy and that you have a lot of drama with your child's father. That sucks. It's not uncommon for women in Miami to hire event planners for showers and such (I wouldn't personally want it, but like you said different strokes for different folks and this thread is about you not me). I think you definitely got your question answered, maybe moreso than you had hoped for. I agree with other posters that you should definitely let yous sister plan your shower. Maybe have two? That way you can plan your dream shower and also make sure your sister and family can celebrate you and baby how they'd like? Some of us have had our family ask us if we wanted a particular theme/color scheme but most of us are not planning our own shower or are involved in any way in the process.
Oh for goodness sake. Planning and throwing your own shower is tacky enough, let alone throwing yourself a second shower simply because the one your family offered to throw will not be up to snuff is unbelievable. Sure, throw a sip and see for guests to meet the baby, but this route would be terrible etiquette.
I bet if you worked with your sister like giving her the list when she asked for it and being more Appreciative and grateful, it would be a fun planning experience for all involved. PLUS, if they know you're high maintenance they probably would have asked for input and asked you what you liked for ideas. I feel like you have already spoiled what could have been a perfect experience for all. Your mom was involved and knows how your sister is and was willing to help guide her. Your sister is probably/definitely fed up (rightfully so) and doesn't even want anything to do with it now do you might as well throw your own and hope for the best.
I agree with PP also, of course you want to have a nice shower but its not worth making your family mad.. This is supposed to be a joyous time, not a bitch-fest. Create a Pinterest board like the rest of us with nice shower decor that you like and mom and sister and look at and get ideas from.
Seems like there's a recurring theme to all the answers...
There definitely is . This is definitely not the place to advertise your baby shower event planning services, LOL.
Unfortunately, I am not that laid back, low key type of person like most women are. I do like upscale, high class things in my life, I don't think there is anything wrong with that personally, because we are all created differently. So I like stilettos during the week and high rise apartments. My family knows that about me and my baby shower, yes I want it to be nice, not bank breaking of course, nothing unreasonable, but still really nice.
**lurking from October 2016 BMB***
Well, if your siblings are from a similar culture then they understand how to throw you a party that they think you will like. I'm not sure that a shower has to be a five-star catered event? Its just a little party, man. Its an honor and no matter how type A you are-- you can't be in control of it. Its an event thrown for you.
Also, if I were a hostess and someone wanted me to hire a professional party planner to "oversee" me-- I'd bow out. That's an insult to the hostess because it automatically assumes her tastes are beneath you or not classy enough. Yeah, I'd tap out and hand it all over to the party planner or something...
I probably wouldn't attend the shower either and would most likely encourage others to send their regrets as well. Either you want to celebrate with your friends in a meaningful way or you want to pop bottles and eat caviar. A baby shower is NOT a wedding. I think that folks are going way over the top with this stuff.
I hope you teach your child better manners than this. Can you seriously imagine your child one day coming home from school and telling you that a friend offered to plan his/her birthday party but he/she thought it wouldn't be good enough so they wanted you to hire someone to host their birthday party instead...let me use many of your own words and make it into the kid friendly version...
Let me ask you [Mom], is it wrong for me to want a nice [birthday party] and to want a professional to oversee the amateurs? Or should I just shut my mouth and take whatever thrown together [birthday party] (although I am grateful, don't get me wrong) that I get from my [little Suzie], who BTW has only attended one [birthday party] in her life? I could use a nice celebration after dealing with [growing up...life has been so rough]. I don't trust that [little Suzie] can pull it off and if it is not nice, I will be appreciative, but not as excited about it, you know? Also, I know that paying a party planner kind of defeats the purpose because [you] could use that money on [birthday gifts for me], which is the whole point of a [birthday party]. This is stressing me out at this point [Mom].
Ugh, I'd like to help you OP, but something tells me it would go right over your head. But, it's a good thing you're such a "minimalist" though, since I can't imagine many people actually attending your baby shower!!! :-)
I truly believe that you can do whatever you want.I'm not having an actual shower but I am having a social gathering for ME and I want it to be elegant. I'm going to plan it myself because I want to. This is your baby and your life. Is it a little mean the way you feel, I guess. But you are entitled to your feelings. This is something you will look back on and you should remember it as a pleasant event. My friends said they still want to bring a gift to my gathering but that's their choice. I want it to be a certain way so I am extremely involved with it! Hire your professional, According to these thread you will never get to do this again because apparently a shower for baby 2 is tacky. Don't ask permission for what you want!
I truly believe that you can do whatever you want.I'm not having an actual shower but I am having a social gathering for ME and I want it to be elegant. I'm going to plan it myself because I want to. This is your baby and your life. Is it a little mean the way you feel, I guess. But you are entitled to your feelings. This is something you will look back on and you should remember it as a pleasant event. My friends said they still want to bring a gift to my gathering but that's their choice. I want it to be a certain way so I am extremely involved with it! Hire your professional, According to these thread you will never get to do this again because apparently a shower for baby 2 is tacky. Don't ask permission for what you want!
I am just baffled why this generation cannot allow someone else to throw a party for them? Are we so incredibly self-involved and type A that we HAVE to have things our way all the time? Can we not just appreciate the generosity of a friend without being all "me me me, Its what I want" about it? I'm seriously seeing this type of sentiment more often and its really disheartening.
Re: Baby shower Drama
So you are trying to save and doing "only necessities" but you want an over the top, expensive party? Complex isn't the word I'd use to describe that.
Also, "rude"? I think the word you are looking for there is honest. People gave honest opinions.
Take a seat, lady. I don't care if you're a single mom, HG, SPD, whatever that doesn't entitle you to an upscale high-class baby shower because you've had a hard time. I hope you learn to be gracious and appreciative of what if gifted to you so your child can learn humility and respect. I'm sure your family is side the shit out of you for acting like you're so much better than them.
I hope everyone wear crocs, jean cut off shorts, and tie dye shirts to your shower. Cheers.
DD1 born 11/2014
DD2 born 6/2016
Being a spoiled brat isn't a complicated concept.
DD1 born 11/2014
DD2 born 6/2016
"Different women, different minds, different lives, all created in HIS image. I learned something from the ladies who were not rude (that's not necessary just because someone is different). Appreciate it and have a great day!"
A peaceful way to approach this would be to apologize, thank your sister for the love and grace she is willing to extend and ask if you can convey to her just ONE thing that it important to you and realistic to execute: venue, food, theme, etc... make the request and leave it at that. You is done, yo.
Another idea, if your sister will tolerate it...I threw a shower for a high maintenance friend, I knew going into it that she was high maintenance. She had a shower pinterest board that she shared with me. I swallowed my disdain and tried to incorporate some ideas.
If you really want a posh party where you maintain creative control, throw a "meet the baby" party or a "gender reveal party" for yourself.
Trust me, you will remember your shower because you will drive away from it in tears of gratitude for the people who all showed up to love you that day. If you don't come away from it with that feeling, you need to check yourself.
I personally don't see why many many people these days throw these over the top parties for things like baby showers or wedding showers. OP, there is nothing wrong with wanting a nice shower, BUT!!! It's really tacky that you're essentially planning your own. And as the little sister in my family, I can speak from experience in saying your sister has every right to be pissed that you've pretty much kicked her plans to the curb. My sister tried to do that to me for her first baby, but luckily for me, my mom knows when to step in and pull the bitch card out. That was probably the best shower a lot of my sisters friends and our family have been to, and they still talk about it today. Oh, and I'll add that I was 18 at the time, working full time and in school full time and still made it an awesome shower.
Trust your sister. Apologize to her, because I feel for her right about now.
Triplets due 6/29/16 also from an IUI!
Triplets due 6/29/16 also from an IUI!
That Jesus loves outlandish baby showers, I think... right?
Married: 12/16/12
TTC #1: 06/15 BFP #1:07/13/15
D&C: 08/28/15
BFP #2: 09/26/15
M: 06/03/16
BFP #2: 02/12/18
L : 7/26/18 (SIUGR, micropreemie)
DD1 born 11/2014
DD2 born 6/2016
Married: 12/16/12
TTC #1: 06/15 BFP #1:07/13/15
D&C: 08/28/15
BFP #2: 09/26/15
M: 06/03/16
BFP #2: 02/12/18
L : 7/26/18 (SIUGR, micropreemie)
OP the only person causing drama for this baby shower is you. As I tell my three year old "you get what you get, and you don't complain."
WWJD.
This is the dumbest thing I've ever done. I'm clearly being super productive at work, today.
Well, if your siblings are from a similar culture then they understand how to throw you a party that they think you will like. I'm not sure that a shower has to be a five-star catered event? Its just a little party, man. Its an honor and no matter how type A you are-- you can't be in control of it. Its an event thrown for you.
Also, if I were a hostess and someone wanted me to hire a professional party planner to "oversee" me-- I'd bow out. That's an insult to the hostess because it automatically assumes her tastes are beneath you or not classy enough. Yeah, I'd tap out and hand it all over to the party planner or something...
I probably wouldn't attend the shower either and would most likely encourage others to send their regrets as well. Either you want to celebrate with your friends in a meaningful way or you want to pop bottles and eat caviar. A baby shower is NOT a wedding. I think that folks are going way over the top with this stuff.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Let me ask you [Mom], is it wrong for me to want a nice [birthday party] and to want a professional to oversee the amateurs? Or should I just shut my mouth and take whatever thrown together [birthday party] (although I am grateful, don't get me wrong) that I get from my [little Suzie], who BTW has only attended one [birthday party] in her life? I could use a nice celebration after dealing with [growing up...life has been so rough]. I don't trust that [little Suzie] can pull it off and if it is not nice, I will be appreciative, but not as excited about it, you know? Also, I know that paying a party planner kind of defeats the purpose because [you] could use that money on [birthday gifts for me], which is the whole point of a [birthday party]. This is stressing me out at this point [Mom].
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
DD1 born 11/2014
DD2 born 6/2016
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Thank you so much!
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Also, a big CONGRATS to you @PrimRoseMama !
edited: sphulleng
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards: