baby shower drama :***(

sherbear09 · February 2016

cant sleep ....so long story short..my sister( who has always been over dramatic and jealous) my whole life..was supposed to throw me a baby shower with my mother in law...they had talked Bout it back in october and made some plans...since then like always my sister had a hissy fit because i forgot to look for a toy for her when i was in toys r us.....she then told me i was selfish, gonna be a bad mother and unfriended me on facebook,told me no one ever did her any favours and to throw my own shower....this has happend twice this year) ..she also unfriends my mother in law who had nothingg to do with anythhing..so my mother in law continued on and had my shower planned for this past SUnday..it was a supriSe i knew Nothing of it ...so akward and embareassing for me ...then she sees pics on facebook and sends me this............

"Can't sleep balled my eyes out nice baby shower funny I don't c any of your family I hope u at least block mom from seeing them pretty sure she would be just as sad thanks for inviting us fuck Sherie have a nice life with your new family I hope u at least let mom come to the hospital and hold her.""........

My mom has bipolar and scizophrenia .i have not seen her or spoke to her in like a yead....im not sure how or why they didnt invite any of my fam..im not close with anyone and the three friends that were there i consider my family....i dont know what to do but sit here and cry...shower was a total suprise i has NOTHING to do with invites and now im getting guilted and ripped on for it , made to feel like the worst person on earth....:(

DrillSergeantCat · February 2016

Obviously you did nothing wrong considering it was a surprise shower! Don't beat yourself up about this. When someone hosts a shower for you, the guest list is truly up to them. I honestly wouldn't answer her. It sounds like she's a child and considering you have one on the way, you really don't need another fully-grown child throwing temper tantrums because she didn't get her way.

silverwood · February 2016

It sounds like your sister might have some mental health issues. That is out of your control. Try not to be mad or hurt, and just focus on your baby and the good things to come.

sherbear09 · February 2016

Thanks ladies:( made the mistake of telljnng my fiance...who responded by getting mad at me for being upset and then proceeded to go tell me to " fuck myself" and then stormed off to work...like i didnt feel alone enough bwfore! I dont even want to do this anymore

DrillSergeantCat · February 2016

sherbear09 said:

Thanks ladies:( made the mistake of telljnng my fiance...who responded by getting mad at me for being upset and then proceeded to go tell me to " fuck myself" and then stormed off to work...like i didnt feel alone enough bwfore! I dont even want to do this anymore

WTAF? He got mad at you for being upset? That's emotional abuse. I dealt with that BS for 18 years. You don't need that.

Cowboycorgi · February 2016

I'm sosorry this is happening to you. This is in no way your fault, and you don't deserve to be spoken to like this by either your sister or your fiancé.
ill give him the benefit of doubt that maybe he thought you were blaming his mother for the snafu, and got frustrated, but that is really no excuse. Let him calm down and hopefully you can have an adult conversation with him after work.

I agree with PP, your sister doesn't deserve a message back. She jumped to conclusions and I doubt there is anything you can say that will make her change her mind about the situation. Sadly we can control other people's opinions or reactions. I also agree that it sounds like she may have carried over your mothers mental illnesses, to which I'm greatly saddened for her. Mental illness is hard on family.

Just keep focused on your baby. She needs you most, and you will be a great mother to her.

Best of luck

Achae · February 2016

Seconding the wtf to your fiancé and sister. Where are the support people in your life? Hopefully mil is better...?

sherbear09 · February 2016

I dont know...i know i shouldnt let it upset me ...but then SO goes and does that now i feel completely alone...

VitaLuna · February 2016

Put no value on what your sister said.. She's clearly shown that she's not the most stable or rational person. You have no control over who's invited to a surprise shower (thrown by another family). She's just trying to make you feel like crap.

As for your FI, that's completely inappropriate. I can see where he might have felt like you didn't appreciate his family's effort (my H probably would've interpreted it the same way), but telling you to F off and storming out? Not cool.

SgtLou2 · February 2016

I would not respond to your sister until she approaches you in a mature and apologetic manner (which honestly may never happen). As for your fiancé, that was inappropriate and I'm just taking a wild guess that he may have been defense for his mom's sake... Either way, still not the supportive reposnsr that you deserved. I think that the best action would be to write your MIL a very nice thank you note not only for the shower but for being so supportive of you.

moomee · February 2016

Sounds like it was best that they weren't there. Try not to let your sister's behavior get to you. You did nothing wrong! You need positive, encouraging and supportive people in your life.

princesspriscilla · February 2016

It sounds like this is more about how your sister copes with things rather than you being "selfish" or a bad sister. Just know you did absolutely nothing wrong and can only control your reaction to things. You have no control over other people's emotions and are not responsible for how your sister handled the situation. It sounds like regardless of how you had handled the situation your sister would not be happy. There are some people in this world who are never happy nor satisfied with anyone or anything... so sit back, relax, and just wait for the baby to come. I'd lay low for now and focus on myself and pregnancy. Then on the big day, I'd be the bigger person and invite your family to come see the baby... if they don't come, that's their issue.

silverwood · February 2016

Don't get into the mindset of feeling "alone" or having a pity party. Your sister acted nuts. Your fiancé acted like a jerk, and you need to shut that behavior down. He owes you a huge apology. This is a very special, powerful time for you. Don't let anyone diminish it. Turn on your favorite music and dance your baby bump around the house. To hell with everyone else.

VitaLuna · February 2016

Also, if I was MIL, I wouldn't have invited the bat sht crazy to the shower, either. She made the right decision.. Otherwise this drama would've been at the shower, too, which no one needs. Make sure you thank her for generously throwing a shower at all.

trishkev07 · February 2016

You poor thing

I agree with everyone else, you do NOT need to be focusing on your crazy sister right now. Definitely talk to your fiancee though once everything calms down. Hopefully this is an out of the ordinary thing for him to do as he was being insanely unsupportive and you clearly need hugs, chocolate, and maybe even a massage! Glad you have someone as sweet as your MIL in your life though. Good luck!!

Deronimo · February 2016

Your fiancee said what?? I cannot fathom how saying that under ANY circumstance is okay. If its a "mistake" to talk to the person who is supposed to love you more than anyone else about something that upset you... esp when you didnt do anything wrong, just upset! This is big red flag dont you think?

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