TWW and psycho

sjo_thetwins · February 2016

have any of you ever thought along the lines of ..... "We shouldn't be pregnant this month" or "we won't get pregnant this month" because you are fighting with your s/o or had an argument so STUPID that you can't possibly get pregnant because the universe and unicorns and fairies and all other crazy karma bananas frown upon giving you the perfect little miracle of life because your home life isn't magical for a night. Or 5. Just because you are stressed out or tired or emotional? I'm rambling, I know. But there has to be SOMEONE who gets these freakish thoughts occasionally. Am I crazy? We had - seriously- the stupidest fight of all time and we just couldn't get each other on the same page. My mind immediately goes to: well now we won't be pregnant this month because we aren't getting along and that just means all just went to shit.

Humor me.

Lulucooks · February 2016

samijrichards said:

have any of you ever thought along the lines of ..... "We shouldn't be pregnant this month" or "we won't get pregnant this month" because you are fighting with your s/o or had an argument so STUPID that you can't possibly get pregnant because the universe and unicorns and fairies and all other crazy karma bananas frown upon giving you the perfect little miracle of life because your home life isn't magical for a night. Or 5. Just because you are stressed out or tired or emotional? I'm rambling, I know. But there has to be SOMEONE who gets these freakish thoughts occasionally. Am I crazy? We had - seriously- the stupidest fight of all time and we just couldn't get each other on the same page. My mind immediately goes to: well now we won't be pregnant this month because we aren't getting along and that just means all just went to shit.

Humor me.

MamaMunn · February 2016

I don't think your reproductive system cares about that kind of thing.

Science yo.

sjo_thetwins · February 2016

I know that physically, all of that was crap. It was more of a "I'm having a really bad night" post.

Lulucooks · February 2016

samijrichards said:

I know that physically, all of that was crap. It was more of a "I'm having a really bad night" post.

Ah. Dear Diary post, gotcha.

sjo_thetwins · February 2016

Good description, if you post Dear Diary for a bunch of other women to see and judge you for. More like a very hopeful, has anyone ever been so emotionally wrecked that their mind goes to the most outrageous space, post.

Megzb510 · February 2016

I personally don't think like that. But I'm also not a gushy person. I didn't think it was magical the first time we had sex after IUD removal.

Dont let stuff like this bother you. If you're KTFU, arguing for a night or two isn't gonna interfere with that.

sjo_thetwins · February 2016

I don't literally think - that I'm not KU because we fought. I'm just tired. Really really tired. Not for sleep, but for peace. And peace isn't something I've had much of since all of these fertility meds. This shoulda been on the bitchfest thread and I shoulda actually told the story. Oops.

LittleMissTimeLord · February 2016

Anytime you think that way, remind yourself that shitty people have children all the time. That's not usually a comforting thought but hey, it might be just what you need to remember that fighting with your SO doesn't really matter to your uterus.

redheeler · February 2016

TW - previous pregnancy (I don't actually know what TW means but I see it often)

when DS was conceived we were in the middle of moving house, away from where I had lived for 13yrs, I was packing the house and all of the memories it contained on my own, while also completing an agriculture degree which required 15hr days full of manual labour and 2:30am starts, discussing getting rid of a horse that I loved DH hated who had the week after we conceived thrown me off leaving me with spinal issues to this day (obviously 2 weeks later he won that argument) my dad had just moved away and I was exhausted and emotional 24/7 it was not a peaceful house in that TWW, although we weren't ttc so while I didn't have the same thoughts at that time, it definitely doesn't hamper your chances.

LadyMillil · February 2016

Man, if you needed a "perfect" life where you never ever disagree with your SO to get a baby I'm pretty sure the species would have died out ages ago.

I'm really curious what a karma banana is. I understand each word on its own, but together I'm confused.

Lulucooks · February 2016

Aphillips95 said:

TW - previous pregnancy (I don't actually know what TW means but I see it often)

when DS was conceived we were in the middle of moving house, away from where I had lived for 13yrs, I was packing the house and all of the memories it contained on my own, while also completing an agriculture degree which required 15hr days full of manual labour and 2:30am starts, discussing getting rid of a horse that I loved DH hated who had the week after we conceived thrown me off leaving me with spinal issues to this day (obviously 2 weeks later he won that argument) my dad had just moved away and I was exhausted and emotional 24/7 it was not a peaceful house in that TWW, although we weren't ttc so while I didn't have the same thoughts at that time, it definitely doesn't hamper your chances.

It's trigger warning. I think there's a list in the noobie guide explaining what we TW on and what's not needed. I can't recall everything off the top of my head but I think we only request one for a loss/mc and birth stories. I'm pretty sure there's another, but my brains tired.... Speaking about current children, or just general pregnancy topics are fine without one. BFP don't need a TW, but a general warning at the top is appreciated.

Also any other super harsh topics that may come up its polite to put one.

redheeler · February 2016

@Lulucooks thanks, I did read the newvie guide again, it was more that I didn't know what it stood for, plus I put it there before I was 100% sure what I was going to write, didn't want to write about early symptoms or something and cause someone to stress about something they were seeing during the TWW :-)

whiska · February 2016

Yes. When you're tired and emotional you start making illogical leaps, trying to connect dots that don't actually connect or grasping for causality to explain all the bull****. I feel ya. Hugs.

NamelessAria · February 2016

I've definitely had times where DH and I get into some absolutely ridiculous, but kinda bad, fight and then I sit there in the bathroom crying thinking "maybe we just shouldn't have children. I mean if I were out this month I wouldn't even be that upset because maybe it isn't even a good idea to bring a child into this nonsense."

Once I've had some time to calm down and rein in my emotions I always feel differently. I realize that DH and I having some stupid fight once every couple of months isn't a huge big deal. Most couples do fight occasionally and that doesn't mean we couldn't be good parents.

I've always been prone to getting upset and then quickly becoming wildly overemotional though. When I was a little girl my mother would always tell me to get some sleep and everything would look better in the morning. I always thought she was wrong but 9 times out of 10 I'd wake up feeling much better about everything. So now as an adult when I start getting over emotional and thinking that one stupid fight means I wouldn't be a good mother or something, I try my best to at least get myself under control enough to say "I'm going to bed and hopefully things will look better in the morning."

Basically, what I'm trying to say in my rambling way is that I definitely understand what you're talking about. I've had some of those same silly thoughts; though they certainly didn't feel at all silly at the time. I'm sorry that you and your wife had a stupid fight. I'm sure that you two will work it out and everything will feel much better once you do.

sjo_thetwins · February 2016

@LadyMillil totally a made up outrageous word/term in my ramble

To pp - it won't let me tag for some reason. But that completely summed up my night last night. Thanks y'all for letting me ramble on. Felt good to just be able to share.

Needless to say, I don't feel that way now. Btw, I didn't actually logically think that we couldn't get KU because of the fighting. It was more along the lines of "maybe we shouldn't." I feel less crazy this morning.

duygumama · February 2016

Oh I know that feeling, you are not alone. I try to make it an overall thing about our relationship but it is usually resolved over the next 3 days and everything is back to cuddly & kissy again.

kristah2 · February 2016

I usually get all stupid emotional and I'm like "we're fighting and that means you don't even want a baby!!!".... Not much better.

Kay6519 · February 2016

I get that feeling too. DH is going through his "man period" stage right now and is driving me nuts. He wants to fight about the most trivial stupid stuff, leaving me aggravated and depressed. It's easy to let silly ideas pop up when you are anxious or stressed about crap. Just take a deep breath, find something fun or relaxing, and take a moment for yourself. TTC is stressful, but hopefully at the end of it all you and your SO will be able to walk away with a beautiful bundle of joy that will make all the craziness in between worth it.

sldp123 · February 2016

LittleMissTimeLord said:

Anytime you think that way, remind yourself that shitty people have children all the time. That's not usually a comforting thought but hey, it might be just what you need to remember that fighting with your SO doesn't really matter to your uterus.

This made me laugh, because this is exactly the kind of thing that I try NOT to remind myself of. But I guess in this situation, it works, haha.

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