I'm starting all over with my 3rd baby, as I have 2 teenage boys. I don't have a lot of close friends local, and I'm doubting even having a shower. Do you mostly invite close friends? What about people out of town that you know can't come? I had a friend volunteer to host, but wonder if it will be worth it or the best way to handle it. Anyone ever do a shower with hubby and male/females?
Re: Shower questions
Now that that's out of the way -- do you want a shower?
Usually those invited to showers would be considered your "nearest and dearest." Do you have family in the area that would to attend?
People out of town that you know cannot make it should not be invited, as it looks gift-grabby.
Nothing wrong with co-ed..my husband wouldn't be caught dead at a baby shower, but if your husband and male guests are into it, all the power to ya
My daughter will be 3 when this next daughter is born. We are having another shower. My best friend and my mom are throwing it for us. We are treating it more like a cookout with both men and women. No gift time or games. The invitations will have where we are registered. I think if someone wants to throw it for you then let them. I feel like every child should be celebrated as much as the last.
Been married since 2009.
Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
Several MCs
DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
BTW, showers are not, and never have been, about celebrating the baby. They're about welcoming a woman into motherhood.
My DH and I went to a co-ed shower over the summer and had a good time. There was good food, alcohol, etc. It was fun. I wanted a co-ed shower with ours, he nixed that idea immediately. He is not about showers of any kind.
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Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
Several MCs
DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
A registry in the invites? For your second child? Come on.
And then not having "gift time?" So the guests can't even see you open the gifts they bought for you?
@ncm0328 .. yes, showers are considered a rite of passage for a woman becoming a mother.
The mother-to-be is the guest of honor, not the baby.
Want a party celebrating a baby's birth? Fine, but that's not really a shower, is it? Just like a christening party isn't a shower...
How about this... When you have your second or whatever number child you're on don't have a shower or a cookout or celebrate the child like your first one got. Makes sense for you I guess but not for me. IMO this doesn't make me tacky nor do I feel the need to tell you how it makes you look that you wouldn't treat the impending arrival of your second (third, etc) the same as your first.
Been married since 2009.
Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
Several MCs
DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
I think if you want a low key co-ed shower (not touching the second shower part) that's cool. I think not opening gifts because you don't want to make guys uncomfortable is kinda silly, and I've seen it mentioned by multiple people. I didn’t realize men were so sensitive to watching someone open gifts. Do their balls retreat into their bodies like if it's cold? Do they break out in hives? Are they so coddled they can't smile and make small talk when the mom to be opens presents?
I think it's great to involve guys in showers l. I think it's sad that people go out of their way to cater so much to the stereotype of what a guy is though. If you don't think a guy is going to be interested watching you open gifts, and doesn’t have the courtesy to pretend to be interested, don't invite him to a shower!
But yes, I would find it very rude to receive an invitation with registry information enclosed, show up with a gift and then see none of the gifts opened. I personally think you should reconsider that part, with the registry information included, I would assume a gift was expected, but wasn't important enough to you to acknowledge at the party and would find that hurtful.
Rant over and lurker out.
Been married since 2009.
Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
Several MCs
DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
And I'm not trying to call out you and your friend group specifically, I lurk many boards and when people give reasons for not opening gifts at co-ed showers, the guys being bored or uncomfortable is one of those reasons. And my thoughts are if they want to attend a shower they can watch mom to be open gifts. It's not like what happens at showers are some big secret.
I will never judge anyone for not having stupid party games at a shower. That diaper game is an abomination.
Been married since 2009.
Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
Several MCs
DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
Married: Oct 20, 2013
BFP 1: Aug 31, 2015
EDD 1: May 12, 2016
DD1 Emma born May 12, 2016
An Honest Account of New Motherhood (with Postpartum Anxiety, Depression, and OCD)
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