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September 2015 Moms
Nirolosa
member
Post Partum Anxiety and baby's constant rolling over/wake ups. Doing it all on my own. RANT
Nirolosa
member
Even as I write this, my baby boy is driving me entirely crazy with his constant rolling over. He gets stuck on his belly and just won't roll back on to his back again.
I've tried working on showing him how, taking our time, doing it as a game etc etc etc but it seems to not be sticking or he's just not ready yet. So cue me waking EVERY hour every night for the last four nights in a row. It's become pure unadulterated torture every single night.
Both of us (his daddy and I) have PPD and have sleep deprivation triggers so you can just imagine how stressful this is right now. My husband is at least at work and out of the country so he gets a four to five week break every three or four weeks but I get this every single night. I'm beyond exhausted, family either can't or won't help and my boy keeps waking up due to getting on his belly 8 or 9 times a night. During the day I feel entirely like a zombie . I've stopped trying to nap because of the partial insomnia that can occasionally go with PPD. By the time I get to sleep, my boy wakes up. Every single time.
I was on the low end of the scale with PPD where I had easier ways to vent off the fustration but lately as my boy's sleep patterns have entirely gone to pot I am most definitely not on the lower end any more. This extremely interrupted sleep is just brutal and I mistakenly brought up the discussion of medication which caused us to have massive (and I mean massive) fights over me taking medication to cope. He's anti medication (due to a certain close family member planting it in his head that you can just plow through most things) so it's been a fun stressful time.
If we have to go to this family wedding of his in Australia this summer and still suffering from PPD, I am doomed. Originally his family wanted to do it on my own and actually gave me serious flack for wanting help (aka someone to come with me to help with our boy), because and I quote 'Your not the first one to travel with a baby' 'I did it in x (30 years ago!)' 'There's assistance at the airports'. Like it's going to be super easy with me dealing with a cranky jetlagged baby as we travel through airport #3 and ingest enough caffeine to cause cardiac arrest just to keep me functional. And that's just the physical survival of the trip not the mental, only the gods know how I'd mentally survive a 37-45 hour trip.
Right now, won't lie, I'm crying a little and fonding my 'be brave' bracelet (PPD awareness) and trying to find path through this.
I've tried working on showing him how, taking our time, doing it as a game etc etc etc but it seems to not be sticking or he's just not ready yet. So cue me waking EVERY hour every night for the last four nights in a row. It's become pure unadulterated torture every single night.
Both of us (his daddy and I) have PPD and have sleep deprivation triggers so you can just imagine how stressful this is right now. My husband is at least at work and out of the country so he gets a four to five week break every three or four weeks but I get this every single night. I'm beyond exhausted, family either can't or won't help and my boy keeps waking up due to getting on his belly 8 or 9 times a night. During the day I feel entirely like a zombie . I've stopped trying to nap because of the partial insomnia that can occasionally go with PPD. By the time I get to sleep, my boy wakes up. Every single time.
I was on the low end of the scale with PPD where I had easier ways to vent off the fustration but lately as my boy's sleep patterns have entirely gone to pot I am most definitely not on the lower end any more. This extremely interrupted sleep is just brutal and I mistakenly brought up the discussion of medication which caused us to have massive (and I mean massive) fights over me taking medication to cope. He's anti medication (due to a certain close family member planting it in his head that you can just plow through most things) so it's been a fun stressful time.
If we have to go to this family wedding of his in Australia this summer and still suffering from PPD, I am doomed. Originally his family wanted to do it on my own and actually gave me serious flack for wanting help (aka someone to come with me to help with our boy), because and I quote 'Your not the first one to travel with a baby' 'I did it in x (30 years ago!)' 'There's assistance at the airports'. Like it's going to be super easy with me dealing with a cranky jetlagged baby as we travel through airport #3 and ingest enough caffeine to cause cardiac arrest just to keep me functional. And that's just the physical survival of the trip not the mental, only the gods know how I'd mentally survive a 37-45 hour trip.
Right now, won't lie, I'm crying a little and fonding my 'be brave' bracelet (PPD awareness) and trying to find path through this.
Re: Post Partum Anxiety and baby's constant rolling over/wake ups. Doing it all on my own. RANT
Additionally, his family does not get a say in your parenting choices. Period. If you choose to bring help with you when you travel that is your business and does not warrant any input from your in laws.
Have you considered getting help for the times when YH is OOT? Someone to come during the day so you can rest and de-stress for a bit? Do you live close to your family or can you have a friend or sitter come and spend some time with LO? Have you considered counseling for yourself and for you and YH? Have you had him discuss it with you and your doctor? Are you a SAHM? Things are different than they were 30 years ago. When our parents and grandparents were SAHMs, it was much more common and not as many women worked outside the home. They typically had built in support systems with many friends and neighbors who were home during the day. Now, it can be much more isolating, especially when are children are younger and not in school or activities that allow us to connect with other SAHPs. Your husband's family choosing not to realize or acknowledge this fact should have no bearing on your choices or parenting decisions.
DH and I make our big decisions together but when it comes to something like PPD his opinion isn't relevant.
1) your husband doesn't have the right to say whether or not you can go on medication. PPD is an illness - you treat illnesses with medication. If you want to try medication, talk with your doctor. I went on Zoloft 2 weeks after giving birth and it probably didn't really kick in for another 2-3 weeks. When I finally started benefiting from it I became a regular person again
2) Agree with PP, your husbands family can just get over you asking for help. That's why there is a saying "it takes a village" to raise a child.
3) Do you have family or friends that could come for an afternoon/evening to take care of LO so you can sleep? I asked my mom to do this a few weeks ago and it helped so much. Plus she enjoyed having time with the baby. If I lived near you I'd totally come help because I know how it's so, so, so important to feel rested when it comes to PPD. Please, please have someone do this if you can. If you are breastfeeding just pump and go back to sleep.
4) I'm not sure if you could try getting your baby a Merlins Magic Sleepsuit? We use it for our LO and its so big and puffy I don't think she could roll over in it. It could be a possibility for you!
we were having the same problem and it worked wonders
As for blankets, we've tried that but some how he finds a way around them over and over and over again. Tempted by the merlin suit but money is getting a little tight. We pay taxes as a lump sum in a few weeks and we're going to be short for sure. Might just say sod it and buy it anyways, I mean we're already going to be short and well the sleep could be worth it in the long run.
Thanks for the many responses about my husband's family, I love them to death but they have severely outdated ideas about medical aid. It's good to hear that I'm not being difficult in this and that they are being pretty outlandish.
MB-604 Magic Bumpers Portable Child Bed Safety Guard Rail 48 Inch - Set of TWO Bedrail... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003KFCV6S/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_awd_8Q-Qwb5GAM55Z
The gods must favour me a little bit because last night... because he actually stayed within the rolled up receiving blankets! Seriously though, he NEVER stays within rolled up blankets and last night he actually did. Granted he did wake up a tiny bit when I got up to pump (haven't been able to drop my late night pump yet) due to not being able to roll into a fetal position. So I allowed him enough room between the blankets to do so but not enough to roll on to his belly.
In total I nabbed 9 hours sleep, the first since I was 6 months pregnant!
I worry about buying any sort of sleep items for him that might fully prevent him from rolling over now, because of the whole waking up due to not being able to roll into a fetal position. His new favourite position and my least because it almost always leads to rolling on to his belly soon after.
Wish I had known my anxiety while pregnant was a very visible precursor to PPD/PPA, I would have signed up to see someone about it or start medication or at least tried to put things in place to help ease it. There needs to be a lot more education for pregnant women (and their partners) about it I think. Looking back I see the seeds were all planted early on. I really wish I had seen them then as clearly as I see them now.