Terrified of birth

Jenn061477 · January 2016

I am amazed I am pregnant! I feel beautiful and amazing that I was given this gift... but I am absolutely terrified of giving birth and being around people that just don't care cause they do this every day! Lol Does anyone else share this fear or am I the only one? Can any moms give advice? Thank you!

meggyme · January 2016

A lot of fear stems from a lack of understanding. Read up, take child birth classes and find an OB practice or midwife you feel comfortable with. There's also the option of a doula, who is your own personal birth coach. There's lots you can do between now and your due date to help alleviate your fears.

stillcozy · January 2016

I'm a ftm and I agree it is pretty scary! But now in second tri and getting to know my dr and nurses the fact that they around it everyday is comforting because I know it's not because they don't care they do it because they care a lot and because they see it everyday they know just what to do in any situation and being new and haven't done this before their knowledge and help as professionals is more comforting to me than people's stories since I know every birth is pretty different. You aren't alone in this but try not to discount your health professionals as not caring

kyraaD · January 2016

I'm at FTM, & i was terrified terrified of giving birth when i first found out. honestly, i still am. however, I've found that the birthing class I'm taking is really helping me relax & not feel so scared. the lack of understanding how childbirth works definitely makes it seem scarier.

i second what @meggyme said about, well, everything, hahah. tour the hospitals in your city, find an OB/midwife that you love & who makes you feel comfortable, & look into birthing classes (especially breastfeeding classes!!!), etc. the more info you can get, the lesa scary it seems.

& honestly once you come near the end, you'll be looking forward to getting baby out of you! hahah.

PugsandKisses · January 2016

Jenn061477 said:

I am amazed I am pregnant! I feel beautiful and amazing that I was given this gift... but I am absolutely terrified of giving birth and being around people that just don't care cause they do this every day! Lol Does anyone else share this fear or am I the only one? Can any moms give advice? Thank you!

I dont understand the bolded part. Are you talking about the L/D staff? Trust me, they care. They care a lot. Every birth is different and special. They may not jump and down for you with joy, and try to stay calm, for you. I have cried when many babies have been born, I have been in many baby books, and hugged many family members.

If this is for your 'support' group, like your DH, mom, MIL. If you feel they are not going to give you the support now, just find some one you can trust and want to be there.

SmrBrd2012 · January 2016

What comforted me was to tell myself that women (and well, other animals) have been giving birth for the looooongest time. It's completely natural and your body is well equipped to do it. It sucks and it can be scary but the end result is amazing. If you elect to do it in a hospital, you'll be well taken care of and there are meds to help with the pain.

ElcaB · January 2016

This is my first pregnancy, but I'm going to chime in.

If you want a more hands-on labor, I'd suggest you birth with a midwife or doula. These are people who are trained to work with you and coach you through your pregnancy and delivery.

Secondly, think of your birth as a marathon. You wouldn't just decide to run a marathon and then not train for it, right? The same thing applies here. Use the time during your pregnancy to "train." Read books and articles. I've come across some tips like training the mind through meditation. There are exercises you can do to help prepare your body. I just started listening to a Podcast called The Fear Free Childbirth which seems to be really empowering.

jamiesc58 · January 2016

I am pregnant with my fourth. There are still times when I am scared because, let's be honest, it is not going to be the easiest thing you do in life. Classes helped a ton and having a great support system did also. The ladies here are great too! Once it's done and over you are going to wonder what you were scared for. :-) You will only have eyes for your little bundle of joy and everything else just kind of melts away.

ammnam14 · January 2016

While pg I had moments of anxiety about giving birth. I switched OBs at around 34 weeks so I really didn't know anyone from the office. They made me feel like I mattered. I totally understand the bolded. My previous OB was a train wreck, good ol military hospitals. -_- Anyways, towards the end I was just so over being pregnant I could not wait to deliver! The struggles of being 39 weeks definitely put any fear I had on the back burner. I ended up getting an epidural around 6cm and had the most relaxing and wonderful birth experience. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Good luck!

Bubblegum5586 · January 2016

SmrBrd2012 said:

What comforted me was to tell myself that women (and well, other animals) have been giving birth for the looooongest time. It's completely natural and your body is well equipped to do it. It sucks and it can be scary but the end result is amazing. If you elect to do it in a hospital, you'll be well taken care of and there are meds to help with the pain.

I also think how most people have more then 1 child. If people experience it and are open to doing it again, it has to be doable!

I just signed up for a Bradley Method class, and I am really looking forward to it. I liked the instructor immediately just from our phone call. I think this class will help ease my fears and give me the knowledge I need.

MrsCourtney555 · January 2016

I think what you're experiencing is totally normal. Women have been doing it for a long time

. However please try to go with the flow and relax with whatever comes. I speak from experience. I planned a natural birth with my first. After being ten days overdue, induced, in the hospital for thee days, progressing to nine centimeters only to end up with a cesarean. Not that this will be even close to your experience but just try and breathe!

Bigboobsmcgee · January 2016

jamiesc58 said:

I am pregnant with my fourth. There are still times when I am scared because, let's be honest, it is not going to be the easiest thing you do in life. Classes helped a ton and having a great support system did also. The ladies here are great too! Once it's done and over you are going to wonder what you were scared for. :-) You will only have eyes for your little bundle of joy and everything else just kind of melts away.

Word. She is speaking the truth. I have 2 kids and was scared each time but I also think a little fear is a good thing. You can't go into childbirth naïve because then you'll really be screwed

Also, don't go into this thinking the hospital staff doesn't care. They do care and they will be there to answer questions and walk you through it. You've got this. Don't stress it.

GinnyJ2012 · January 2016

It's ok to be scared! This is my third and I'm scared because you never know how things will go. I'm afraid of having to have a c section and recover with two small children already at home. As PP said take a birthing class, read some books, find a provider that you're comfortable with, and visit the hospital.

The team you have delivering your baby cares a lot. It's why they work long hours with women cursing and screaming at them (I've done both and then apologized later and been embarrassed!). They care about you and your baby!

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