@SuperTrooper2 Ohhhhhhhhhhh looking at your past replies it all is clear to me. You don't think the women here should complain/talk/discuss their weight gain/loss. You don't understand it and/or it didn't apply to you so why should other people possibly want to discuss it? Makes absolute sense that since this is not some that affects you, that you again think women should not complain/talk/discuss their maternity leave situations. I mean, God forbid people complain about something without you coming in to put them in their places!
I agree our country needs a policy on paid maternity/parental leave. My job is only covered by FMLA and a state leave act that protects my job for the time I want to leave, up to 6 months in a 12 month period. Whatever leave I take is my own sick or vacation leave, and can take LWOP if wanted.
What bothers me is seeing people complain as if they didn't know their company or state laws regulating baby leave. I have worked here for over 6 years building up my sick leave (8 hrs/month) and vacation at the state rate. I planned on eventually having a child and needing the leave, therefore I never took sick leave unless absolutely necessary. I will have 19 weeks available of combined leave to use after birth but plan on taking 10-12.
Under current laws it's not your employers responsibility to pay for you to have baby time off. Plan ahead and it won't be a burden on you and your family. Until the laws get changed we all know what to expect going into it....it's not a surprise.
That being said I'm following the presidential candidates on who supports paid family leave and who doesn't. I strongly believe we need it and it benefits everyone.
First off, some of us have been in postgraduate school/law school/med school and recently entered the work force in the past 2 or 3 years. Not everyone has had the luxury of working at the same place for those years consecutively because as much as you would like to plan to be at a certain job, things happen that cause you to leave or a better opportunity arises. I'm complaining about my law firm's policy because they didn't institute FMLA until this year and did not have a set policy (and still don't) on how much paid leave associates receive- it's decided on case by case basis by the partners. Staff members don't get any leave. After I spoke to my partner about paid leave, they decided to provide me with 6 weeks after all including my two weeks of vacation and one sick week. With that said, not everyone is able to plan ahead like you suggest.
I mean, but it's totally on you for deciding to start a family before you could take 19 paid weeks off. Because you know, logic. Law degree be damned! /sarcasm
Maybe it was poor planning for all of us Americans not to have moved abroad to a country with paid maternity leave! Shame on us for being so short sighted.
I agree our country needs a policy on paid maternity/parental leave. My job is only covered by FMLA and a state leave act that protects my job for the time I want to leave, up to 6 months in a 12 month period. Whatever leave I take is my own sick or vacation leave, and can take LWOP if wanted.
What bothers me is seeing people complain as if they didn't know their company or state laws regulating baby leave. I have worked here for over 6 years building up my sick leave (8 hrs/month) and vacation at the state rate. I planned on eventually having a child and needing the leave, therefore I never took sick leave unless absolutely necessary. I will have 19 weeks available of combined leave to use after birth but plan on taking 10-12.
Under current laws it's not your employers responsibility to pay for you to have baby time off. Plan ahead and it won't be a burden on you and your family. Until the laws get changed we all know what to expect going into it....it's not a surprise.
That being said I'm following the presidential candidates on who supports paid family leave and who doesn't. I strongly believe we need it and it benefits everyone.
It's great that you work for a company that allows you to do that, but most do not. Where I work (and in every single place I've worked ever, which is 5) you are NOT allowed to roll over more than 2 vacation or sick days per year. And, even if you can, they have to be used within the first 6 months of the year or they are lost.
Your attitude is remarkable to me. It seems like you are blaming women for complaining about unfair treatment under the law...that's...well, it's bloody insane actually. With that mentality change would never come about.
I agree our country needs a policy on paid maternity/parental leave. My job is only covered by FMLA and a state leave act that protects my job for the time I want to leave, up to 6 months in a 12 month period. Whatever leave I take is my own sick or vacation leave, and can take LWOP if wanted.
What bothers me is seeing people complain as if they didn't know their company or state laws regulating baby leave. I have worked here for over 6 years building up my sick leave (8 hrs/month) and vacation at the state rate. I planned on eventually having a child and needing the leave, therefore I never took sick leave unless absolutely necessary. I will have 19 weeks available of combined leave to use after birth but plan on taking 10-12.
Under current laws it's not your employers responsibility to pay for you to have baby time off. Plan ahead and it won't be a burden on you and your family. Until the laws get changed we all know what to expect going into it....it's not a surprise.
That being said I'm following the presidential candidates on who supports paid family leave and who doesn't. I strongly believe we need it and it benefits everyone.
First off, some of us have been in postgraduate school/law school/med school and recently entered the work force in the past 2 or 3 years. Not everyone has had the luxury of working at the same place for those years consecutively because as much as you would like to plan to be at a certain job, things happen that cause you to leave or a better opportunity arises. I'm complaining about my law firm's policy because they didn't institute FMLA until this year and did not have a set policy (and still don't) on how much paid leave associates receive- it's decided on case by case basis by the partners. Staff members don't get any leave. After I spoke to my partner about paid leave, they decided to provide me with 6 weeks after all including my two weeks of vacation and one sick week. With that said, not everyone is able to plan ahead like you suggest.
I mean, but it's totally on you for deciding to start a family before you could take 19 paid weeks off. Because you know, logic. Law degree be damned! /sarcasm
I know, I should have waited 20 years until I was a named partner. It's my fault for not planning ahead.
I agree our country needs a policy on paid maternity/parental leave. My job is only covered by FMLA and a state leave act that protects my job for the time I want to leave, up to 6 months in a 12 month period. Whatever leave I take is my own sick or vacation leave, and can take LWOP if wanted.
What bothers me is seeing people complain as if they didn't know their company or state laws regulating baby leave. I have worked here for over 6 years building up my sick leave (8 hrs/month) and vacation at the state rate. I planned on eventually having a child and needing the leave, therefore I never took sick leave unless absolutely necessary. I will have 19 weeks available of combined leave to use after birth but plan on taking 10-12.
Under current laws it's not your employers responsibility to pay for you to have baby time off. Plan ahead and it won't be a burden on you and your family. Until the laws get changed we all know what to expect going into it....it's not a surprise.
That being said I'm following the presidential candidates on who supports paid family leave and who doesn't. I strongly believe we need it and it benefits everyone.
First off, some of us have been in postgraduate school/law school/med school and recently entered the work force in the past 2 or 3 years. Not everyone has had the luxury of working at the same place for those years consecutively because as much as you would like to plan to be at a certain job, things happen that cause you to leave or a better opportunity arises. I'm complaining about my law firm's policy because they didn't institute FMLA until this year and did not have a set policy (and still don't) on how much paid leave associates receive- it's decided on case by case basis by the partners. Staff members don't get any leave. After I spoke to my partner about paid leave, they decided to provide me with 6 weeks after all including my two weeks of vacation and one sick week. With that said, not everyone is able to plan ahead like you suggest.
I mean, but it's totally on you for deciding to start a family before you could take 19 paid weeks off. Because you know, logic. Law degree be damned! /sarcasm
I know, I should have waited 20 years until I was a named partner. It's my fault for not planning ahead.
Guess your ovaries wouldn't have dried up by then....
DS1 - 9/21/11
DS2 - 7/4/14
DS3 - 2/21/16 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
What bothers me is seeing people complain as if they didn't know their company or state laws regulating baby leave. I have worked here for over 6 years building up my sick leave (8 hrs/month) and vacation at the state rate. I planned on eventually having a child and needing the leave, therefore I never took sick leave unless absolutely necessary. I will have 19 weeks available of combined leave to use after birth but plan on taking 10-12.... Plan ahead and it won't be a burden on you and your family.
I don't even know where to begin with this...
Congrats to you for planning your future with a child. I didn't plan mine with a child in mind. That doesn't mean I was an irresponsible person. It means I never wanted kids and planned for a future without any. For my own reasons, I changed my mind at 29 and chose to change careers to reflect that choice. Working night shifts and being on call 24/7 for months at a time wasn't going to allow me to be the type of parent I wanted to be. I decided to PLAN ahead and left my career choice, lost my paid time off, to go back and get a different degree. Now I'm starting at the bottom of the totem pole. That means I don't have tenure, I don't have much paid leave accrued. I mention tenure because as a new teacher, it's frowned upon for you to take time off. They can't legally fire me for maternity leave but they can use practically any other excuse to fire me (they don't approve of my students' test scores, a parent complained, they don't need another chem teacher, I'm not actively involved enough with extra curricular activities, etc.). I'm 32, does that mean I should wait 5 years to TRY and start a family at 37 when I'll have tenure and accumulated enough time off and won't be fired for using my time off? That'd mean under your idea of "planning" I'd have my child at approximately 38 and that's under the assumption that I'd stay at the same school for 5 years consecutively (which is rare for new teachers). In other words, I'd be putting myself at risk for possibly not being able to have kids despite all my planning.
Oh but that's right! I'm a teacher now! It's such an easy solution, I should just plan the birth of my child to coincide with summer break! Everyone knows that planning a pregnancy is always easy to do! I'll get pregnant in late August and have my baby late May and the whole maternity leave isn't even an issue. All I have to do is sit down with my uterus, ovaries, and dh's sperm to plan out my ovulation cycle and conception date! Duh... Never mind. You're right. Come on ladies, quit your whining and get your shizz together. (Insert eye roll)
Because you don't plan on having kids doesn't automatically make you some irresponsible person that doesn't consider consequences.
....Until the laws get changed we all know what to expect going into it....it's not a surprise.
That being said I'm following the presidential candidates on who supports paid family leave and who doesn't. I strongly believe we need it and it benefits everyone.
No one is saying these laws are a surprise! People are expressing their displeasure with the status quo. How are you supposed to change anything if you don't discuss it? Why would politicians care about paid family leave if no one complains? It wouldn't even be an issue for them to discuss unless the people that elect them say something. I'm not saying a discussion on TB is going to bring about change; I'm saying that it's ok to have a discussion and learn about the different ways this issue affects people. It helps to know you're not alone and you're not the only one that wants a change in policy. Since you strongly believe we need change but apparently think we shouldn't complain or discuss it, how do you expect that change to come about?
What bothers me is seeing people complain as if they didn't know their company or state laws regulating baby leave. I have worked here for over 6 years building up my sick leave (8 hrs/month) and vacation at the state rate. I planned on eventually having a child and needing the leave, therefore I never took sick leave unless absolutely necessary. I will have 19 weeks available of combined leave to use after birth but plan on taking 10-12.... Plan ahead and it won't be a burden on you and your family.
I don't even know where to begin with this...
Congrats to you for planning your future with a child. I didn't plan mine with a child in mind. That doesn't mean I was an irresponsible person. It means I never wanted kids and planned for a future without any. For my own reasons, I changed my mind at 29 and chose to change careers to reflect that choice. Working night shifts and being on call 24/7 for months at a time wasn't going to allow me to be the type of parent I wanted to be. I decided to PLAN ahead and left my career choice, lost my paid time off, to go back and get a different degree. Now I'm starting at the bottom of the totem pole. That means I don't have tenure, I don't have much paid leave accrued. I mention tenure because as a new teacher, it's frowned upon for you to take time off. They can't legally fire me for maternity leave but they can use practically any other excuse to fire me (they don't approve of my students' test scores, a parent complained, they don't need another chem teacher, I'm not actively involved enough with extra curricular activities, etc.). I'm 32, does that mean I should wait 5 years to TRY and start a family at 37 when I'll have tenure and accumulated enough time off and won't be fired for using my time off? That'd mean under your idea of "planning" I'd have my child at approximately 38 and that's under the assumption that I'd stay at the same school for 5 years consecutively (which is rare for new teachers). In other words, I'd be putting myself at risk for possibly not being able to have kids despite all my planning.
Oh but that's right! I'm a teacher now! It's such an easy solution, I should just plan the birth of my child to coincide with summer break! Everyone knows that planning a pregnancy is always easy to do! I'll get pregnant in late August and have my baby late May and the whole maternity leave isn't even an issue. All I have to do is sit down with my uterus, ovaries, and dh's sperm to plan out my ovulation cycle and conception date! Duh... Never mind. You're right. Come on ladies, quit your whining and get your shizz together. (Insert eye roll)
Because you don't plan on having kids doesn't automatically make you some irresponsible person that doesn't consider consequences.
....Until the laws get changed we all know what to expect going into it....it's not a surprise.
That being said I'm following the presidential candidates on who supports paid family leave and who doesn't. I strongly believe we need it and it benefits everyone.
No one is saying these laws are a surprise! People are expressing their displeasure with the status quo. How are you supposed to change anything if you don't discuss it? Why would politicians care about paid family leave if no one complains? It wouldn't even be an issue for them to discuss unless the people that elect them say something. I'm not saying a discussion on TB is going to bring about change; I'm saying that it's ok to have a discussion and learn about the different ways this issue affects people. It helps to know you're not alone and you're not the only one that wants a change in policy. Since you strongly believe we need change but apparently think we shouldn't complain or discuss it, how do you expect that change to come about?
You can get tenure still?!?!!? Whhhhhhat!!! They took that completely away in Florida!!!! I'm one jelly bean right now. Used to be after 3 years you get tenure, but it has never been an option for me. Did a 3 year stint in the district I grew up in before moving districts due to hubby's job. This is my third year in this district now. But back to my main thing: tenure!!!! I'll always worry every year regardless of how good a job I do that I won't be asked back!
@tJaffe yup! after 4/5 years. which is really difficult since I got incredibly lucky and got into a great school district and it's very competitive so you need to be very active in the extracurricular activities, professional development days, etc...
@tJaffe yup! after 4/5 years. which is really difficult since I got incredibly lucky and got into a great school district and it's very competitive so you need to be very active in the extracurricular activities, professional development days, etc...
Yuck. Lol! Same kind of stuff here. I hate it, it's so sad that teaching us viewed as volunteerism! I worked another job until this year and it was basically frowned upon. Whatever. My Kinders are generally reading by Christmas and my Firsties are doing good too so I don't get too much crap from only doing one event a year. The worst part is that we don't get any comp time for after hours stuff so I hate working for free.
@tJaffe yup! after 4/5 years. which is really difficult since I got incredibly lucky and got into a great school district and it's very competitive so you need to be very active in the extracurricular activities, professional development days, etc...
Yuck. Lol! Same kind of stuff here. I hate it, it's so sad that teaching us viewed as volunteerism! I worked another job until this year and it was basically frowned upon. Whatever. My Kinders are generally reading by Christmas and my Firsties are doing good too so I don't get too much crap from only doing one event a year. The worst part is that we don't get any comp time for after hours stuff so I hate working for free.
I've got high school. One event won't fly. Pick at least one event, sponsor a club/coach, be vocal on PD, keep parents happy (which means going into work extra early, staying late, to help with homework and babysitting the kids that don't want to do their work. I literally need to call mom and dad, hunt down the kids that have study hall/lunch on my prep hours and MAKE them do their work during my time).
All I will say is that, while I planned ahead and all that jazz, having a miscarriage and then a major surgery causing me to take two weeks off to recover wasn't in the plan. Getting rear ended on the interstate driving home from work at 20 weeks and the time I had to take off for appointments to make sure both myself and my baby were ok also wasn't planned. Oddly enough, requiring minor surgery two weeks ago causing me to miss two more days also wasn't planned.
Point is, life doesn't always work out as perfectly as one may plan for. So while I had planned on having several weeks more saved up than I will, that clearly isn't happening. Luckily, I also had a backup plan of extra savings going to my savings account and no exemptions on taxes in order to get a big refund - just in case.
That's wonderful and all, but guess what? I also work at a small oil and gas company and oil just hit $27/barrel earlier today. I may not even have a job to come back to for very long if things don't improve. Guess all my good planning really hasn't amounted to shit, after all, but according to *some* people I should just shut up and be happy about it? Ok...that sounds totally reasonable.
Not my fault. I had only been trying to conceive for 4 years when I was handed a new job and the next day received the unexpected news that I had actually gotten pregnant. My bad. All my banked sick time/personal time went out the window when I switched jobs. That's not going to stop me after 4 years of ttc.
February Siggy Challenge- Post pregnancy indulgences
Yeah, banking days sounds kinda fishy every place I have worked for you loose all of your vacation days (that you didn't use) at the end of their year. Best option I had was keeping up to 7 day sick days. They worked with FMLA but did not have std or paid maternity leave. Dh's job: When we had ds, they let dh take off 3 days unpaid but wouldn't allow more. They are already telling him that he will once again be responsible for doing inventory (not part of his job). Unfortunately, that means 12 hour shifts 4 days a week with him driving all over the freaking place. That will happen all of February and March. So, more than likely, dh will get a few days off when we have the twins but will otherwise be gone all the time. I wouldn't complain if we were having just one, honestly we planned for one and I expected that I would be on my own for handling a new baby plus ds. But we were stupid and didn't plan for multiples so dh being gone will be a huge PIA. Plus, with 2 new babies instead of one, not having income for me as a student will make the financial struggle worse. Again, I guess we should have planned for multiples.
I'm from the Uk ( home of excellent maternity pay, time off and benefits, not to mention no medical bills to contend with after baby is born and a midwife visiting you in your own home after delivery ) ... I live in the US with my american husband and can't wait for zero maternity pay, zero maternity leave and my big fat bill to arrive I had considered giving birth in the UK but other health issues have arisen and now at 33 weeks im set to deliver with a high risk obgyn here in a hospital - I reallllly hope the US catches up at some point, I love my job but I'm already looking at 3 months of lost wages and bonuses due to being ill and spending the past month in hospital, now I'm on bed rest until baby arrives and the thought of having to jump back into work 2 or 3 weeks after giving birth because of finances et al is enough to send me crazy... My husband gets 2 or 3 days paternity leave I believe... So I'm hoping that he has lots of PTO to take extra time off ( oh actually we live in the US so ofcourseeee he doesn't have "tons" of PTO... Just a measly two weeks.. ) Friends who recently delivered in the UK had husbands stay at home for 2-4 weeks... Wouldn't that be glorious and a great help to catch up on some sleep !! Rant over
Wait. You can BANK sick time??? Get outta town! What is this magical company that you speak of??? Pretty unheard of in this country.
Don't ask me why I'm just getting around to reading this and deciding to reply lol. At my old job I earned sick time by the hour, rather than starting out with DAYS. Every pay period I would earn almost 3 sick hours (about 1/2 a day for me), and 1 hour of personal time (I didn't earn as much personal because of being a teacher and already having school vacations paid for). I was able to bank up to 1000 hours of sick time that would never expire- which we were also allowed to donate to others who may have an emergency situation and run out of their own sick time (which is why we were allowed to save so much- I had a coworker who needed 6 months off for her son who was diagnosed with aplastic anemia and we were all able to donate sick time to her to save her from going on unpaid leave). For personal time I was allowed to accrue as much as I wanted, but only 10 days would carry over year to year (again who needs a lot of personal time when you are a teacher and have scheduled vacations?) My dumb ass had over 400 hours of sick time banked, the equivalent of 12 weeks I could have had for maternity leave. But nooooo, I had to leave for a job with better pay And now I only get holidays off, with 5 personal days a year and 14 sick days.
February Siggy Challenge- Post pregnancy indulgences
I am having a similar issue now, only I'm a part time employee which means I get nothing. I work for a small nonprofit as a part time employee. Although I only work part time I do contribute to our household (about 1300 a month ). Not only do I not get any kind of leave, but because I'm part time my position can not be held, basically meaning I'm out of a job. They offered to put me on PRN, which would only give me about 20 hours a month.
Re: Disappointed by dismal maternity leave
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
Your attitude is remarkable to me. It seems like you are blaming women for complaining about unfair treatment under the law...that's...well, it's bloody insane actually. With that mentality change would never come about.
I know, I should have waited 20 years until I was a named partner. It's my fault for not planning ahead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
Congrats to you for planning your future with a child. I didn't plan mine with a child in mind. That doesn't mean I was an irresponsible person. It means I never wanted kids and planned for a future without any. For my own reasons, I changed my mind at 29 and chose to change careers to reflect that choice. Working night shifts and being on call 24/7 for months at a time wasn't going to allow me to be the type of parent I wanted to be. I decided to PLAN ahead and left my career choice, lost my paid time off, to go back and get a different degree. Now I'm starting at the bottom of the totem pole. That means I don't have tenure, I don't have much paid leave accrued. I mention tenure because as a new teacher, it's frowned upon for you to take time off. They can't legally fire me for maternity leave but they can use practically any other excuse to fire me (they don't approve of my students' test scores, a parent complained, they don't need another chem teacher, I'm not actively involved enough with extra curricular activities, etc.). I'm 32, does that mean I should wait 5 years to TRY and start a family at 37 when I'll have tenure and accumulated enough time off and won't be fired for using my time off? That'd mean under your idea of "planning" I'd have my child at approximately 38 and that's under the assumption that I'd stay at the same school for 5 years consecutively (which is rare for new teachers). In other words, I'd be putting myself at risk for possibly not being able to have kids despite all my planning.
Oh but that's right! I'm a teacher now! It's such an easy solution, I should just plan the birth of my child to coincide with summer break! Everyone knows that planning a pregnancy is always easy to do! I'll get pregnant in late August and have my baby late May and the whole maternity leave isn't even an issue. All I have to do is sit down with my uterus, ovaries, and dh's sperm to plan out my ovulation cycle and conception date! Duh... Never mind. You're right. Come on ladies, quit your whining and get your shizz together. (Insert eye roll)
Because you don't plan on having kids doesn't automatically make you some irresponsible person that doesn't consider consequences. No one is saying these laws are a surprise! People are expressing their displeasure with the status quo. How are you supposed to change anything if you don't discuss it? Why would politicians care about paid family leave if no one complains? It wouldn't even be an issue for them to discuss unless the people that elect them say something. I'm not saying a discussion on TB is going to bring about change; I'm saying that it's ok to have a discussion and learn about the different ways this issue affects people. It helps to know you're not alone and you're not the only one that wants a change in policy. Since you strongly believe we need change but apparently think we shouldn't complain or discuss it, how do you expect that change to come about?
Point is, life doesn't always work out as perfectly as one may plan for. So while I had planned on having several weeks more saved up than I will, that clearly isn't happening. Luckily, I also had a backup plan of extra savings going to my savings account and no exemptions on taxes in order to get a big refund - just in case.
That's wonderful and all, but guess what? I also work at a small oil and gas company and oil just hit $27/barrel earlier today. I may not even have a job to come back to for very long if things don't improve. Guess all my good planning really hasn't amounted to shit, after all, but according to *some* people I should just shut up and be happy about it? Ok...that sounds totally reasonable.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
Don't ask me why I'm just getting around to reading this and deciding to reply lol. At my old job I earned sick time by the hour, rather than starting out with DAYS. Every pay period I would earn almost 3 sick hours (about 1/2 a day for me), and 1 hour of personal time (I didn't earn as much personal because of being a teacher and already having school vacations paid for). I was able to bank up to 1000 hours of sick time that would never expire- which we were also allowed to donate to others who may have an emergency situation and run out of their own sick time (which is why we were allowed to save so much- I had a coworker who needed 6 months off for her son who was diagnosed with aplastic anemia and we were all able to donate sick time to her to save her from going on unpaid leave). For personal time I was allowed to accrue as much as I wanted, but only 10 days would carry over year to year (again who needs a lot of personal time when you are a teacher and have scheduled vacations?) My dumb ass had over 400 hours of sick time banked, the equivalent of 12 weeks I could have had for maternity leave. But nooooo, I had to leave for a job with better pay