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August 2016 Moms
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Genetic test refusal

THATdisneyMomTHATdisneyMom member
in August 2016 Moms
Anyone else? With my 1st I had a horrible experience where they told me she had down syndrome, pressured me to get amniocentesis, and I felt like they were totally heartless jerks. I switched Dr's because of it mid pregnancy and am so thankful I did. I love my current dr. I wouldn't abort no matter the results, and I don't want to deal with that stress again. I ended up having another blood test that was new and very accurate that said she didn't and I had to call those jerks for weeks for the results. It was terrible for me.

Only thing is, I'm semi high risk and am bummed I can't find out the gender early since I'm not doing that bloodwork lol
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Re: Genetic test refusal

  • bearsandbeets7bearsandbeets7 member
    I refuse all the extra tests, there's no family history, I'm not high risk(as of right now), and it honestly wouldn't matter either way, they do the anatomy scan at around 20 weeks at my doctor which also includes looking at spine, brain, ECT. So we get a pretty good idea of the baby's health during that scan. If we had a family history I would probably do the tests for sure.
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  • wluxwlux member
    I do them because of the specialist that might be needed immediately after birth...

    I was going to opt out with DD because I was going to keep the Pregnacy regardless but my OB made a good point with wanting to be prepared for all possiblites after birth.


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  • mooncusp22mooncusp22 member
    We denied it with DD1 and will again. If there is nothing that can be done while in utero if (God forbid) something was wrong, then we will accept what God has given us.
    Lilypie - Eu0n
    BFP: 12/3/15     EDD: 8/11/16     IT'S A BOY!!!
    MAXIMUS POWERS   8♥5♥16
     
    Lilypie - pXE7
    BFP: 8/5/13      EDD: 4/13/14     IT'S A GIRL!!!      
    AYLA BLAIR   3♥27♥14

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  • DressageDarlingDressageDarling member
    We are not doing any genetic testing as well. Completely understand why people do it, just not for us. Thankfully, I have an amazing OB that didn't pressure us at all about it and was completely fine and happy with our decision.
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  • jle1021jle1021 member
    We declined last time and this time. Personal preference but wouldn't do anything to change our outcome and feelings just would add stress in my opinion.
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  • bananersbananers member
    We opted out of the NT scan previously because of the high incidence of false positives, and the fact that I didn't want to do an amino due to mc risk. This time around I am 35 so insurance will cover NIPT testing which is much more accurate.
    BFP #1 10/6/11 | EDD 6/15/12 | MMC 11/7/11 @ 8w3d | D&C 11/14/11

    BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13

    BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15

    BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d

    Just keep swimming.
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  • antsbabyantsbaby member
    I agree. had my cvs test on Thursday. I just want to be prepared for what's in store. my age is the only factor, not family history.
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  • DressageDarlingDressageDarling member
    @Jenniferk08 Slightly off topic, but I am also adopted. I am in contact with my biological mother so I was able to get family history from her. I had asked my practice if it was possible to do any kind of genetic testing done before trying to conceive, but was shot down. I was told I needed to have proof that there was anything genetic to look for. Was your husband able to do anything beforehand or did they make you wait until after conception?
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  • jle1021jle1021 member
    Just because we choose not to do the testing doesn't mean we think anything less of anyone who does. It's personal decision and nobody should judge anyone or insinuate anything depending on that decision. It goes both ways.
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  • juleswalshjuleswalsh member
    With our first we opted out but on our 12 week ultrasound found out he had some issues. We had an ultrasound every single week. Every single week we were told to abort because his conditions would be absolutely incompatible with life. We went through the amnio in hopes of finding out more info and also did something called a microarray which tests for genetic duplications and deletions. Everything came back normal. Continuing our ultrasounds every week and being told we would lose him at any moment was absolutely the worst thing ever! At one point we were told he would be born in pieces. (By the way he is totally awesome and only has minor joint issues...think arthritis but it is not degenerative in nature...so he loosens up with age)

    So that long drawn out thing was needed in order for me to say this...everyone has their own reason for doing or not doing the testing. And either option is fine.
    This time I want to be blissfully ignorant and decline testing. One) my son's condition is not genetic in nature. Two) I learned that sometimes there is just no preparing.

    Oh and then to add on to the heartless abortion comment. I have always been super pro life...I still am. BUT, I absolutely will never judge someone for making that decision. My head was so messed up in that moment! I felt like I was being completely selfish to put my unborn baby through the possibility of being born in pieces along with all the other horrible things they told me. I also realize that not everyone is as lucky as we were and that all the things the doctors predicted could have very well happened. It is an extremely painful choice that I wish for no one.

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  • huskymama725huskymama725 member
    I had a false positive with my first and it didn't sit right with me the way "options" were presented to me. It was one of the most upsetting things I've been through. I declined this time, a positive result wouldn't change anything for me anyway.
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  • Jenniferk08Jenniferk08 member
    @DressageDarling they told me unless I had multiple m/c they wouldn't consider genetic testing. And so far we've been unsuccessful locating his biological parents.

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  • stillcozystillcozy member
    ramoseecology said:

    @Lindsayleigh1989   July must be a big month, we now have several July people participating on our board.
      
    Those of us who would consider abortion depending on the abnormalities found are not cold heartless people. I actually think it would be incredibly heartbreaking and difficult and I don't think that choice needs to be shamed by implying the people who do so have no feelings. 

    Sigh... Then you completely misread my post because I agree wth you 100%. Never once did i say people who would choose and abortion were cold or heartless..

    I was saying that the people saying they aren't testing because they will love the baby no matter what make those of us who choose to do the genetic testing or chose to terminate based on finding out fatal genetics such as trisomy 18 make us sound like we don't love these babies because we test and make a decision. I was just suggesting they don't attribute not testing to how much you love and care for a child.
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  • stillcozystillcozy member
    Further note my best friend found out at her NT scan that child had trisomy and would die in womb or immediately after birth and as they say further complications come up they chose to terminate. It was the most difficult decision she ever had to make and would have been incredibly painful ether way but she wanted to save her child pain. That is why I wrote my post she didn't test because she would blindly accept her child it was not a decision made lightly and those two of you who did not read my post or misunderstood it I think genetic testing is vital and incredibly important. Just because your history doesn't sound alarms does not mean you are not at risk.

    You all make your own decision but for those opting out be careful of your words love and care for a child is not attributed to whether or not you do genetic testing or whether or not you decide to terminate a fatal child.
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  • juleswalshjuleswalsh member
    @Lindsayleigh1989 I took that as her agreeing with you.
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  • stillcozystillcozy member
    juleswalsh said:

    @Lindsayleigh1989 I took that as her agreeing with you.

    Gotcha couldn't tell from her tone ;)
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  • juleswalshjuleswalsh member
    Lol I could totally be wrong! But , I definitely didn't think you were calling people who would opt to have a medical needs abortion heartless. :smile:
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  • DressageDarlingDressageDarling member
    @jenniferk08 Thanks, I was told it would take 3+ miscarriages as well. I hope your husband can find them if he looking; I successfully found mine, but my brother has decided against it. It's a difficult process.
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  • ramoseecologyramoseecology member
    PinkLady2015 said:
    @Lindsayleigh1989   July must be a big month, we now have several July people participating on our board. Edited to try and get outta this text box!! QBF Not sure of the tone but I'd politely urge you to reconsider this as an advantage if you didn't. You'll probably find yourselves lurking in September or July because it can be a wealth of information. A lot of questions that are posted on here are things that us July ladies have gone through and may have some insight (keep in mind that we have some due dates as July 1 and you guys may have due dates Aug 31--- that's a whole lotta weeks in between and a wide range of development) I like to lurk here to see if there's any advice I can give but also lurk in June to prepare for things to come up. Not to mention that it is a public forum, but at the end of the day we're all in the same boat and some different perspectives may be really beneficial for all of us.

    Yep, people can post what ever they want, where ever they want on these internet forums. It surprises me since this board is intended for people due in August ---I'm assuming to support each other and form a smaller supportive community where we "know" each other--and the advice or experience being shared doesn't seem like something that wouldn't come from August peeps but maybe I'm just feeling hormonal and bitchy this weekend. I think it would also be nice for people who are going to be regulars to intro themselves. However you can consider this an UO. I've lurked the bump for over 5 years and seen a lot of ups and downs so perhaps I feel less of a need to lurk other BMBs since I've already seen enough over the years as I was contemplating starting my family. I agree different perspectives are beneficial. Continue to do what you're going to do since it's the internet and I will too  :smile: 

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  • cait5413cait5413 member
    I opted out. I just thought it would cause more stress. Now, if they see something odd on an ultrasound, maybe we would do more testing, but so far baby looks fine. 

    Married May 2014
    DD born August 2016
    Baby #2 due December 2017
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  • blissylissy86blissylissy86 member
    *lurking from july*

    @DressageDarling you might want to look into a company called counsyl. They tested me for any issues. IF you don't go through insurance the cost is $350, which is pricey, but I think great for having that knowledge of knowing if you are a carrier for something.
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  • shalsroyshalsroy member
    I got the NIPT test, and feel reassured. We're also going to do a 15 week blood test, and a 12 week transnuchal scan so we can see the baby. Genetic counselling comes with it at the hospital, and then the anatomy scan between 18-20 weeks. Since the NIPT scan gave us accurate information, I'm not as apprehensive about the next phases of testing. The more information we have, the better. We had the transnuchal testing done with our first as well, 10 years ago.
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  • juleswalshjuleswalsh member
    Lol @thebigoaktree perfect moment for a Gif! I really need to go read that thread about how the heck to post them.
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  • stillcozystillcozy member
    edited January 2016
    juleswalsh said:

    Lol @thebigoaktree perfect moment for a Gif! I really need to go read that thread about how the heck to post them.

    we have a step by step instructions on our main page of July if you want some help ;)

    Eta: that is if you don't want have one here because God forbid we cross board ;)

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  • DressageDarlingDressageDarling member
    @blissylissy86 Thank you for the information! I will definitely have to look into that.
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  • LinzerBinzerLinzerBinzer member
    Lurking from July

    I lurk both here and June, for exactly the reasons @Lindsayleigh1989 mentioned. I don't feel the need to intro everywhere because I'm not a regular contributor on this board and the intro stickied posts get ridiculous long. Andplusalso, I think there's a way to look up my posts maybe? Not sure, but I intro'd on the July board, so that's out there if anyone wants to go look.

    Lastly, Lindsay was actually really nice, acknowledging she may have misinterpreted the tone of the post based on responses, so I don't really understand the pushback.

    Anyway, public internet and all blahblahblah.
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  • ramoseecologyramoseecology member
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  • juleswalshjuleswalsh member
    GIf war!??? Lol . *innocent by stander* snowed in...haven't left Ronald McDonald House in three days. Welcoming all things interesting!
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  • thebigoaktreethebigoaktree member


    Me: 30, DH: 31

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  • stillcozystillcozy member
    juleswalsh said:

    GIf war!??? Lol . *innocent by stander* snowed in...haven't left Ronald McDonald House in three days. Welcoming all things interesting!

    Check out some of our older threads as well as the 2nd trimester board. Some very interesting threads best often have bump admin as the last poster ;) sorry to hear you are snowed in! I'm guessing you are on the east coast?
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  • bearsandbeets7bearsandbeets7 member
    edited January 2016
    DH and I just have the mindset that everything happens for a reason and what's meant to be will be. I don't like some of the risks that come with the tests *not judging those who do the tests just not something I want to do because I am the biggest worry wart on the planet*. Knowing how I am personally, I know I couldn't handle knowing that there is something wrong with our baby that early on, which sounds incredibly selfish and flame away but I think, and correct me if I'm wrong, the 20 week scan gives a pretty good picture of the baby's health. Andplusalso our insurance doesn't cover and we are on our payment plan with the OB and can't afford the tests on top of the monthly plan. I completely understand why those who choose to do the testing do, we just don't want them.

    Edited because words are hard.
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