Dealing with people's opinions about names...

Knottie1447115665 · January 2016

This is our 4th baby, and we're hoping for a girl. This last weekend I had my sister, aunt and cousin visit for a girl's weekend and told them our idea for a girl's name and my sister made a face like she just took a spoonful of vinegar. With our youngest son we kept his name a secret from the masses but told family and close friends for this exact reason, but I didn't expect that from my sister. Should I say something to her about it, let it go or tell her to get bent and since this child is coming out of MY VAGINA, I get to choose the name no matter her opinion? Help!

lynnernon · January 2016

So what is the name?

HBamama2B · January 2016

Let it go. You get to name the child, not decide if people like it. Who cares what her opinion is? No name will be universally popular.

mrsb8244 · January 2016

I agree to just let it go. This is your baby and you get to decide the name!

VikingGirl12 · January 2016

Yeah, I wouldn't worry about it. You're never going to please everybody.

goldie987 · January 2016

As long as it isn't something totally out there and ridiculous (if only your sister responded poorly, I'll assume it's not), I say brush it off and do what you want. I know myself and know that I wouldn't be able to handle my family's incessant nagging if they didn't like the name I chose so we won't be sharing it before they're born, it just isn't worth the stress.

DeePaddy24 · January 2016

I agree with PP's...it sucks, but you're just going to have to let it go. It's impossible to make everyone happy. This is your baby, so you & your DH are in control.
I'm a FTM & this is exactly why we aren't sharing our names with friends & family....people are too damn opinionated & negative sometimes. It's harder for someone to judge (especially negatively) when they hear the name first as they're introduced to a sweet little baby.

CourtJack · January 2016

Ditto to the let it go. You're not going to please everyone and you have no control over people's reactions. And I'm totally curious now what the name is?

BakerBird525 · January 2016

My SIL went through this (and we didn't help) when she told us all the name she wanted. We tried to convince her to use a "full name" and use the name she picked as a nickname and we ended up making a mess of it and she was hurt. I now see we should have just left it alone and supported her choice. This is now why we won't be telling anyone the name, because everyone has their own opinion and, as PPs stated, you can't please everyone. Just as long as you and your SO are happy with it! And I'm also curious as to what the name is if you don't mind sharing?

jpocnj · January 2016

First I'd probably ask her why she doesn't like the name, just in case there is something weird about it that you hadn't considered and that may change your mind. And if it's just her personal preference I'd tell her to kick rocks.

I personally don't have a problem telling anyone what name we're using. We've had a few people give us negative feedback just based on their own personal preference for a name and I just let it go. As long as it's something you love and isn't completely ridiculous, I say go with what makes you happy!

NicknShan · January 2016

If you are set on the name, who cares, she will get used to it and whatever association she has with the name she will get over.

What is the name? There are some awful names out there...

mamabudd · January 2016

This is why I don't tell people names we are considering. They can be so rude. I let our favourite boy name slip and my mom won't stop teasing me about it because she doesn't like it.

BZab3 · January 2016

If you love it, keep it! We keep names a secret until our babies are born. The only opinions that matter are mine and my husband's!

Rosehip15 · January 2016

She's entitled to her opinion, and you're entitled to your choice of names. Don't sweat it. UNLESS she doesn't like it for a reason other than personal taste - it has a widespread negative connotation (Charles Manson), it's totally unpronounceable (#*&, aka the baby formerly known as Prince) or it could legitimately cause people to look askance (Lollipop, Gonorrhea - yes, for real).

tjenkins528 · January 2016

Agree with PP, this is why we don't tell anyone the names. My friend is going through this right now, her SIL hates the name she likes with a girl and keeps telling her "how could you do that to a child." It happens every time she sees her and finally broke down and said she doesn't care what she thinks. Hopefully your sister will realize that and leave it alone.

Good luck!

lm45678 · January 2016

I'm sorry, that sucks!

We're keeping our name choices to ourselves (and the bump!). We love them and that's all the matters.

PS- What is the name?!?!

BlueJuice · January 2016

It's too bad that your sister doesn't have a better poker face, but I would just brush it aside and move on, unless her taste is so amazing that you really are questioning your decision now that you know she doesn't like it. If you're solid, then keep on being solid and use the name you love.

I want to say, I have had a similar (internal! I'm pretty sure I hid it well!) reaction to names that I was told for friends' children, because some of my friends have unusual taste in names and pick things I wouldn't have even considered. HOWEVER. In several of those cases, even though I initially disliked the name, I have actually come to really like them in the intervening years. Sometimes it's just hard to imagine a name in daily use. In every other case, even if I never grew to love the name, I have totally gotten used to the names and can't now imagine these kids being called anything else. I would give you good odds that in five years your sister will barely even remember that she didn't like your choice initially.

Meglit89 · January 2016

OP, that is the EXACT face that my SIL made when we told her what we were naming our son. I told her, "Well it's not changing, sorry". But it definitely miffed me.

MsBeachNJ · January 2016

No one in my family reveals any name options prior to birth (we're all always team green) and we plan on following the same path to avoid this situation... that being said you can't undo telling them or having her opinion in the back of your head and that stinks as you were clearly excited about it - don't let her take that from you!

I can say similarly to @BlueJuice that when some of my nieces/nephews were born and their names were revealed I wasn't crazy about them, but after a few days I got used to them, love them, and now can't imagine them being called anything else. Point being, once your sister, and everyone else, lays eyes on your baby for the first time they will just adore her, and her name! Hope that helps!

ashleyrobertson0113 · January 2016

My sister hated our name for if the baby was a girl. She said it sounded like an ugly old lady name. She got pretty nasty with me about it and I eventually just told her it's not her kid so it's not her decision.

Edited because I hit post too soon.

Stephanier99 · January 2016

When one of our friends did not like my boy name I told her that she had her chance to name children already. Since her daughter has an uncommon name I said I'm sure people gave you a hard time for her name. She became very quiet after that.

HighFive16 · January 2016

This is also why we avoid the temptation of discussing names with family and friends. Too many opinions. Once you have him or her named, no one says an opinion to your face and that is how I like it!
Editing to say, if you like it, then keep it. Don't worry about pleasing others.

PS: TELL THE NAME!! If you want to.....

Huskerfanz · January 2016

HighFive16 said:

This is also why we avoid the temptation of discussing names with family and friends. Too many opinions. Once you have him or her named, no one says an opinion to your face and that is how I like it!
Editing to say, if you like it, then keep it. Don't worry about pleasing others.

PS: TELL THE NAME!! If you want to.....

This. All of it.

Jgar2u2 · January 2016

Let it go. It's your baby and if you love the name then use it. With our DD we had so many 'ideas' from my MIL and it was just annoying. With DS we didn't tell anyone our name ideas or the name until he was born. We're not telling this time around either. It's just easier and you get fewer opinions that way, I think.

hellomommas · January 2016

Search your heart about why it bothers you...does it make you second guess the name and maybe deep down you think she might be right? OR are you just annoyed that she isn't supportive? If it's the latter one, and even after her reaction, you couldn't be more confident about the name, then yeah- just realize hey- some people will have to get used to the name. My kids have semi- unusual names--- I know people may not like them- doesn't bother me one bit.... I named them with a lot of thought and purpose. I love their names. I am the one that has to say the name 8263794942837383 times in my life- I'm the one that gets to pick it! (With hubby of course)

peregrinefalconx · January 2016

My sister did the same thing to me. Disappointing. But my sister is a wild card anyway. If this is *the* name, then it's the name. Not to quote Road House, but "opinions vary." Not super nice to be so upfront about it, but meh, it's your sister and sisters do that sometimes.

chelthorn · January 2016

My mom and I love unusual names, but DH is so down to earth we wanted a "normal" name. Mom keeps coming up with crazy names just to spite me, but she actually likes the name we have chosen. We love it and it will be her name.

Mt best friend is due exactly a month before me and they are not telling anyone (except me) even parents what they are naming their daughter. She is doing this because she loves the name and doesn't care one bit what anyone thinks and knows how opinionated her family is.

aloha5736 · January 2016

My husbands families so opinionated. My SIL was smart and has kept hers to a secret. So of course everyone ask me. Before I even said it out loud...I said I'll tell you, but we don't care about opinions and you all had children you named already LOL. So no one gave us an opinion, but I got a bunch of other name choices just in case given to me. Phone calls went on for weeks, oh so and so says this name. Some of them were awful. Whatever lol I've totally become kind of tell people where it's at LOL. I used to be able to keep it to myself, now I just don't care.

hoosiermamaof2 · January 2016

Ugh, that is so annoying. I'm sorry about that. This is why we didn't share the names we were even considering for DS and haven't shared the names we are considering for this little love until he or she is born. I'm big into what people think (ugh, flaw) so know if I would have gotten a face like that would probably have reconsidered a name that we loved.

All in all, I'd vote let it go too.

alohasoprano · January 2016

My family was really nasty about DS name and now it seems that the pattern is continuing with this baby. We're glad we didn't let them influence us the first time and we'll be sticking to our choice this time as well. However, it is hurtful. We're not naming the class goldfish. This isn't the family dog. It's a person. I think it's so rude and there's no excuse for it.

cy&damonsmommy · January 2016

I have a unique name, my first son has a unique name, and my new child will have a unique name. People get used to it

AngelaS218 · January 2016

Going through the same thing. We had a boy name all picked out and my Mother doesn't like it. So know we have considered other names but neither one of us like them as much

Wish we had never told so no one could of persuaded our decision.

alysemci · January 2016

I literally just don't deal with it. If they ask, I confidently tell them. If they have something to say, that's really not my problem. My cousin asked me the other day what the name would be. When I told her she said "well your first child has such a cool name, why would you pick that name for your second?" And then told me she hated. I believe my response was that my husband and I like it and I really could give a fuck what she thinks. Which is the truth, I didn't second guess the name for a second and I'm still just as happy and confident with It. The name is Henry Louis by the way

Boonhilde · January 2016

Whenever "let it go" is a choice CHOOSE IT.

newbabymakes4 · January 2016

My BFF picked a beautiful name for her daughter, but her MIL didn't like it because it wasn't from her side of the family. She gave them a lot of crap about it, but my friend didn't budge (although they did call out MIL for being a downer, especially since she already had 2 grandchildren that used family names). After seeing that happen, we kept DS's name a secret until the birth. I will never understand why people think they can change someone's mind about their kid's name. Even if it's not your style, just smile and say it's lovely. Unless it's really really awful. Then just smile and take a big sip of a drink.

Knottie1447115665 · January 2016

Thank you all so much for the input! We recently found out that we're having a GIRL! And our front runner for a name is, in fact, the name that gave my sister the sour puss... Olivia Renee. Actually it was the nickname that made her grimace, Livie Nae'. Renee is my middle name, I was named after my Aunt Renee, and I want to keep it going. And she will probably go by Livie or Livie Nae' on a daily basis, but I think it's adorable! I know I'm opening myself up here, but what do you guys think of it? I think it screams "pig tails and pink tutus and sass!"

huskypuppy14 · January 2016

Knottie1447115665 said:

Thank you all so much for the input! We recently found out that we're having a GIRL! And our front runner for a name is, in fact, the name that gave my sister the sour puss... Olivia Renee. Actually it was the nickname that made her grimace, Livie Nae'. Renee is my middle name, I was named after my Aunt Renee, and I want to keep it going. And she will probably go by Livie or Livie Nae' on a daily basis, but I think it's adorable! I know I'm opening myself up here, but what do you guys think of it? I think it screams "pig tails and pink tutus and sass!"

I think Olivia Renee is adorable, but honestly I don't like the nickname. Liv or Livie is fine but shortening both the first and middle name sound weird to me.

MrsAlliKat · January 2016

I really like Livie as a nickname and Oliva Renee as a full name, but adding Nae to the nickname seems like a bit much to me. It could be because it makes me think of the Whip/Nae Nae song.

lm45678 · January 2016

huskypuppy14 said:

Knottie1447115665 said:

Thank you all so much for the input! We recently found out that we're having a GIRL! And our front runner for a name is, in fact, the name that gave my sister the sour puss... Olivia Renee. Actually it was the nickname that made her grimace, Livie Nae'. Renee is my middle name, I was named after my Aunt Renee, and I want to keep it going. And she will probably go by Livie or Livie Nae' on a daily basis, but I think it's adorable! I know I'm opening myself up here, but what do you guys think of it? I think it screams "pig tails and pink tutus and sass!"

I think Olivia Renee is adorable, but honestly I don't like the nickname. Liv or Livie is fine but shortening both the first and middle name sound weird to me.

----QBF----
I have to agree. I love Olivia and think Liv or Livie are great nicknames. I think Livie Nae is a little much.

Honestly though, wait until you meet her for a nickname! You'll see both what naturally comes out of your mouth and what fits her personality.

RMLandy · January 2016

I love the name! I think nicknames come with time and getting to know the child rather than something you choose before birth. I wouldn't worry about peoples opinions but especially not on the nickname because you may end up calling her something completely different when you get to know her!

ChristinaMichelucci · January 2016

Love it and screw what anyone says Livie Nae is cute.

Want a personalized experience?

Dealing with people's opinions about names...

Re: Dealing with people's opinions about names...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards