Taking
@Kimmy717 question and turning it into a thread, as I've been thinking/wanting to ask the same thing:
"Can any experienced mamas recommend what is REALLY needed when baby
arrives? I really don't want to invest in unnecessary items just because
some book says i NEED them. And I don't want to clutter my house with
junk i will never use. TIA!!!"
I'd really love to know what you thought you
absolutely needed before you had your first, and what you realized you
absolutely needed after having a baby. Any specific brands or names you recommend over others?
Re: What Are THE Essential Goods for a New Mom
I thought I needed a boppy, but never used it once. DD never really spit up so I didn't need burp cloths either. She also never took a pacifier. I didn't use a diaper bin either. We just threw pee diapers in the regular trash, and threw the poop ones in the outside trash. May consider cloth diapering this time around. I also plan to use baby carriers/wraps more this time around.
You are going to get a huge range of answers because, cliché advice ahead, every baby and mom are different. Initially, all you really need isn't much - a car seat, clothes, diapers, wipes, a place for baby to sleep (which was the rock and play for us, she didn't sleep in the crib for months) and bottles/formula if you're not breastfeeding. If you're breastfeeding, lanolin and gel soothies. I also never used the boppy for breastfeeding but it was great for tummy time and later for when she was learning to sit up. We used both the swing and bouncer but my daughter liked both. Many babies don't like either. I would also recommend a baby carrier - we loved the k'tan for the newborn days. My daughter loved the comfort of being close to me and I loved having my hands free. You will be gifted a million receiving blankets - they're great for burp cloths.
For myself after delivery, the hospital gave me almost everything I needed - sexy mesh underwear, the pain reliever spray, giant pads, etc. Make sure you have stool softener ready to go at home.
I'm sure there's more that I'm forgetting, but honestly, the initial month or so, you really don't need much.
For mom:
Surprisingly one of the best things anyone sent us was a fruit/food basket. We had dinners frozen ahead, but without that basket I have no idea what we would have done for lunches and snacks
- healthy snacks. I was starving all the time
- oatmeal, dark beer, lactation cookies, Mama's milk tea, Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle so you can feel like you're doing everything possible to bring your milk in. This will be your #1 obsession for the first few days.
- a quiet, private, comfortable place to breastfeed. Your house will probably be busy at first and you need a place you can retreat to breastfeed in those first days when everything is so new
- a few pairs of bigger pants for that awkward time between maternity pants and pre-pregnancy pants. I bought some jeans 2 sizes up from the thrift store.
- take the DVD "The Happiest Baby on the Block" out of your local library and watch it with your SO and/or family. It will make you feel so well equipped to deal with a newborn's cries!!!
For baby:
- head/neck support, blanket and mirror for the car seat. That first drive home is the worst.
- hats- DS had a low body temp after birth and wore hats all the time for the first little while
- slippers (like Robeez) baby socks don't stay on so they need a little slipper to keep their socks on and their feet warm!
- lots of receiving blankets- DS was so tiny he leaked out of every diaper and a receiving blanket was a must for anyone holding him
- newborn sized clothes- buy them from somewhere you can return them because some babies are born big and never wear newborn, but we had to go out shopping because all the 0-3 month clothes were way too bog!!
- formula samples, just in case
- an easily movable bassinet. newborns sleep so much and we liked being able to move him around and have him sleep wherever we were and not in a room. We liked him to be nearby.
- a change table. Some people say they never use them but I don't get that. We use ours all the time!!! We had it in the living room for the first few weeks them moved it into the nursery.
- if you have a bigger/multi-storey house, a portable diaper changing kit (bucket of some sort with the essentials) is really awesome.
- baby-safe laundry detergent and stain remover
- stroller
- swaddlers or muslin blankets
Things you will need soon so might as well get right away:
- an activity mat, preferably one that will help promote tummy time
- some kind of swing or bouncer
- carrier
- baby bath, soap, wash clothes and towels
- a nursing cover
Things you do not need right away and/or are a total waste:
- books and toys
- exersaucer/jumperoo/jolly jumper
- play yard
- pee pee teepees (for boys- they don't work)
- burp cloths (too small, use a receiving blanket if you've got a puker)
- crib
- monitor
@0SeaMonkey0 did a good job laying things out. I'd say the nursing cover is up to you. You can try using a swaddle blanket first to see if your LO will even eat with a cover. Also,I never had a problem with baby socks staying on. I'd also get a few burp cloths, I used them for everything. I didn't use my receiving blankets as much.
If you plan on breastfeeding great! But grab a sample can on formula and bottle just in case! At 2 wks PP I ended up going back to the doctor to receive more stitches and found out I had a UTI, I came home, felt like crap and just wanted to cry and sleep. DH was made me go lay down and he ended up giving DS a bottle because he didn't want to wake me. It's just nice knowing you have it just incase.
Here's what I do know from many years of nannying, though.
You definitely need:
- A car seat & stroller
- Lots of plain onesies. I don't plan on buying too many clothes for my newborn because of the frequent clothing changes + growing rate. I've seen too many beautiful baby clothes go to waste, still with tags on, because the baby never got to them before growing out of them.
- Burp cloths (cloth diapers work great)
- Receiving blankets
Skip:- Clothes for your baby (you may not need newborn size...look for size 0-3months and you should be good). You also don't need an insane amount of clothes. Maybe 3 pairs of paints and 10 onsies...you are doing laundry a lot more frequently.
- diapers and wipes (NO wipe warmer)--you can get wipes in bulk at costco, along with diapers. We use cloth diapers, and i wish i had done a diaper shower and just asked people to buy me one cloth diaper (provide them the brand you want. We used Kanga Care Rumparooz pocket diapers...HIGHLY recommend these)
-- With cloth diapers you definitely need some place to put the dirty ones until you do the laudnry. Kanga Care had a great small bag that zipped up. As our diaper supply grew i got a trash can and reusable diaper pail liner (from Kanga Care) here is their website https://www.kangacare.com/- Somewhere for baby to sleep (this could be a bassinet {my son fit in his for 3 months}, pack n play, crib, or w/e you want your baby to sleep in)
- (1) Sleep sack--yes we used one Halo sleep sack/swaddle thing and it lasted a long time. Still only have one, if it gets dirty you do laundry in between naps/bedtime.
- Car seat--i'd recommend going straight to the convertible car seat. This seat will last you from birth till about 40in/40lbs (depending on the seat)
- 3 receiving blankets--these can be used to wrap the baby up to stay warm, but they also work good as burp cloths
Nice to haves:- Stroller with the ability to lay flat--assuming you go with a convertible car seat, you will need a stroller with a good recline so your baby can use it from day one. Think of how you plan to use the stroller. Do you go running and think you'll run with your baby then get a jogging stroller, if you are just going on walks then you don't need a jogging stroller
- Baby carrier/sling--i personally really like to wear my baby, my husband does not. Carriers/slings can be used in place of a stroller if you are going on walks. I'd recommend the ergo 360 carrier.
- Bouncer/Swing--we got a used swing for like $40. My son used it occasionally for the first 4-6 months. I would not pay full price for a swing or bouncer
- Changing table--we had one built in to the pack n play which we had set up downstairs and one in the babies' room. The one in the room never got used until we moved it down stairs. to this day, i'd prefer to just lay my son on the ground and change him.
- Pack n play/travel bed--if you travel or visit family it's nice to have a travel bed for your baby. We started off with a pack n play that had a changing table and bassinet on top (never used the bassinet). This worked, but really is not the most comfortable for sleeping. We then purchased a Guava travel bed (this has more of a thin mattress) and is very light weight and easy to travel with. This could be used as your baby's bed/place to sleep full time
EDIT:I forgot the white noise machine...this is a MUST!!
-First, having two kids made me realize that their likes can be completely different. The swing was a life saver with my first baby and my second baby much preferred the rock n play which I HIGHLY recommend. Perfect for sleeping, putting baby in while you shower, cook, clean. It's very portable.
-Floor play mat for tummy time
-More newborn clothes than I thought I needed. My kids were both 8 pounders and still worn NB for a month.
-Aden & Anais swaddle blankets
-Lots of burp cloths
-White noise machine (my kids still sleep with one at 5 and 2)
-If bottle feeding, a lot of extra bottles. I formula fed but I'm sure the BF moms can chime in with the BF related necessities too.
There's actually very little outside of the necessities like car seat, grooming kits, bath supplies etc. that you'll find you truly need. I say go minimal at first, and then figure out what babe likes and go from there. Also, buying some of the big items second hand is something that saved us hundreds of dollars and felt especially good since most baby gear is used for such a short amount of time.
My daughter loathed the stroller until she was over 2. I had the Britax one with the bassinet and seat and I got very little use out of it. Baby wearing was my savior and worked well for my daughter.
She also hated all bounces and swings so she did the floor playmat and boppy a lot.
Also, if you can avoid a big high chair just go with one that snaps onto your dining chair.
Of course you still need diapers, wipes, clothes, place to sleep and definitely snacks for you. For the first month after having my daughter I only could tolerate fruit. I didn't care for any meals, just fruit.
I liked burp cloths to keep baby's skin off other people's clothes. My H and I have super sensitive skin and my daughter does as well. I didn't want her face rubbing on people's shoulders.
Lots of bottles!! But don't buy too many of them until you find out what kind of nipple they prefer.. They are picky about it.
The underwear they give you at the hospital are awesome take as many as you can! and some comfy pants for mom as well as hair ties.
I planned on breastfeeding and ended up not being able to (low milk supply) keep formula on hand. Breastfeeding is not always easy. You get lots of free samples in the mail and the hospital take them, even if you don't want to.. It's good to have a back up just in case.
The mirror in the car is a good one! Sometimes they are so quite back there it's nice to be able to keep an eye on them for piece of mind.
Baby Carrier/wrap
Bottles
Breast pump
Extra large burp cloths (I'll probably make them myself)
Diapers (and if we do cloth, the accessories, pail, wetbags, sprayer)
Wipes
Diaper cream
Clothes - PJ's, onsies and pants, socks.
Changing table/pad
Rocker/glider
Books for Baby*
Car Seat
Stroller
Crib and Crib sheets
Swaddle sack or sleep sack
Pack n Play (or something similar)
Bouncer
Diaper bag (my purses are tiny wallets-with-straps, so using them isn't an option. And I hate backpacks, so).
Pacifiers
Baby Shampoo/wash
Illustrated Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone*
I purposely plan to skip out on swings and a baby bathtub. Our bathtub is not conductive to actual baths, so I'll likely just shower with my infant (my sister did with both of hers). Seriously. I cannot emphasize how shitty our bathtub is. Even the dog ends up getting showers with me instead of baths. Swings take up so much space and our house is teeny tiny.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on my initial list!
*I plan to read to my child daily from birth. I've heard that speaking to/with your child can help with their language development and I struggle to talk to infants, so my thought is that planning to read aloud regularly and often would help with that. My friend does the same thing and she and her baby love it. I'm a huge fan of HP, so really, it's just an excuse to get the illustrated edition
c section underwear and a proper binder.
A long (dark color) cotton robe. I had a short one and i wish I could have hid my unshaven legs. Those first two weeks I was basically topless under the robe and was ready to breastfeed.
A station set up for recovery, with water, snacks, all the ointments, pain meds.... It will be tough with DD being 3 and into everything but I really wanted not to have to move once I sat down to breastfeed.
Freezer meals
For baby besides diaper, wipes and a few onesies:
We loved the rock n play
A&A blankets
Different kinds of bottles
We only had a swing and she liked it
Things I'm going to get with this LO:
Mama Roo
The halo bassinet, c section mamas rave
about this at bedside
We will probably FF, maybe a dispenser/maker because that stuff is a mess.
I'm sure I'm missing a bunch of stuff....
If you're formula feeding you can probably get away with a pack of disposables, and if you're nursing I'd invest in 10-15 pairs of comfortable cotton nipple pads. You want enough that you can change out a few times a day if necessary.
Awkward Family Fun
Sound machine
The book "Happiest Baby On The Block" (read before baby comes)
Bread pads (if nursing)
A good baby carrier like Beco, not the cheap Walmart/Target ones.
Hard candy to suck on during middle-of-the-night feedings. It helped me stay awake.
Evelyn (3.24.10), Graham (5.30.13) & Miles (8.28.16)
With DD, I just had to have her room done several months before she was born and she didn't use it until she was 5 months old. We had a swing and a mat before she was born as well, and she hated both until about a month old.
Other than the real essentials, what made things easier with DD were: A&A swaddle blankets, comfy clothes for me that allowed easy access to my boobs, pacifiers, and a lot of newborn clothes (poop shoots out of them at the beginning and she didn't fit in 0-3 month until well over a month).
People say that you go through a lot of clothes with a newborn. That wasn't the case for us. DS hardly ever spit up and we rarely had diaper leaks - if your diapers are not containing the poo either size up or try a different brand. For newborn clothes, we long sleeved, footed one-pieces. I think they are sometimes called sleep n plays.
If I had to do things again, I would skip the car seat/stroller travel system. The stroller is just very bulky. I would still get the infant seat - I liked being able to remove the whole seat from the car without disturbing a sleeping baby. I would consider getting one of those stroller frames that the seat can attach to and then getting a nice, not too bulky stroller for when baby is a bit bigger.
Swings, mamaroos, bouncers are very hit-or-miss. For every baby that loves one, there is one that hates it. DS wasn't a fan of his bouncer but did well with his swing. But when he was really crying or fighting sleep, the Moby wrap was best.
We got amazon prime when DS came along. The diaper subscription service is really nice. It comes with a discount that as far is I can tell, makes them fairly comparable in price to if you shopped the sales at brick&mortar stores like Target. We didn't bother stocking up on diapers. We got a few different brands at our baby shower and quickly became loyal to Pampers (they never leaked unlike the Huggies we ended up giving away).
There is a lot of stuff you need, so I'm just going to tell you the stuff that people say that you need, that I found I did NOT need.
-The most expensive version of anything (*cough cough* mamaroo)
-A bumbo
-Breastfeeding pillow (I tried the boppy and my breast friend and regular pillows worked better for us)
- Sound machine
-Blackout curtains
-Baby bathtub (we have a farmhouse sink, and putting a towel down in that worked fine and saved space)
-Happiest Baby on the block book (The ideas are great, but rent the DVD from the library for free.)
-Too much breastfeeding gear (Keep the covers and the fancy bras in their packages until you're sure it's going to work out. )
-Rock n play
-Baby towels & washcloths
-Special baby food jars
-Special baby food making system (unless you don't have a blender/food processor)
-Wipes warmers
10 months is a VERY long time to use the swing. If a child can roll over easily or sit up it is not safe to continue use of the swing.
We never used a bottle warmer, wipe warmer, or sound machine.
-Brest friend pillow (take it to the hospital, it will save your back!)
-a good double electric pump if you plan to go back to work (or ever spend an overnight away from baby)
-Arms reach co-sleeper (use it for the first ~ 6months, helps with not having to get up in the middle of the night and get baby out of bassinet/crib/pack n play/rock n play/etc) - just roll over, attach baby to boob and then scoot baby back over to the cosleeper area. Cribs really aren't needed/used until
-a nursing tank for every day of the week (at least 7) - because there are some weeks where you can only get to laundry one time a week...
-nipple cream. we love Earth Mama Angel Baby for brand new baby/direct nursing, and regular Lanolin for healing sore nips and for before/after pumping
and regular Baby Stuff list:
-Swaddles!
-Baby swing
- Ring sling for the first 3 months, then an Ergo or other similar type of ergonomic soft/structured carrier
-Infant bucket car seat (we liked Chicco and Maxi Cosi) along with a snap 'n go type of stroller. Will save your sanity when your baby is sleeping and pulling them out of a convertible carseat would wake them up! We used ours for 13 months
-diaper bag (a basic skip-hop will get you through any airport or car trip as well as regular trips to Target/grocery store/park etc. and a folding changing pad
-SO MANY onesies and burp rags. More than you ever thought you would need. For real.
-diaper pail - poop is stinky. Even newborn poop. Unless you are cloth diapering, you need some type of smell management system for the poopy diapers. We used the munchkin arm & hammer pail and loved it.
and my best piece of advice:
-A journal. because the moments with your TINY BABY are fleeting. They really do go by so fast. There are several that are really easy to keep up with (low pressure when you are so sleep deprived!) and not cheesy... I like to give this one to expecting moms at baby showers:
https://www.amazon.com/Moms-One-Line-Day-Five-Year/dp/0811874907/ref=pd_bxgy_14_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=1V2RSR9MANK12RPNJXKP
+ 9/3/11, due May 2012. overdue baby born healthy!
+ 8/3/15, natural m/c @ 5wks
+ 1/4/16, due 9/14/16
Wrap or baby carrier. I have the ergo and moby wrap. Loved the Moby for newborn, but it's a little annoying out of the house. We still occasionally use the ergo for my 30 lb 20 month old.
Sleep sacks with the velcro swaddle. My husband calls them "baby straightjackets". Easy swaddle in the middle of the night.
We honestly almost never changed our kids on the changing table. We lay a changing pad or receiving blanket on the couch or bed or floor and change there.
I loved my breastfeeding pillow (boppy) but i wouldn't say it's a NEED.
I also loved my nursing cover for my first, but my second would not eat under it. He would kick and flail until I removed it.
1 Swing
2-4 Swaddlers
10+ nursing pads for bf mamas
Lanolin Cream
Boppy
10+ receiving blankets
4 bottles
4 pacifiers (if you're baby prefers them, they have legs and walk away)
Changing table with bins for diapers and ointments/baby powder
Fisher price swing got the most use and is still serving a purpose at 10 months.
I like the diaper genie but DH moved it and I haven't fought to get it back.
DS does not sleep in his crib. I wish I had a crib we could sidecar.
No burp cloths. He tries to eat his bibs.
I wish we had the ball pit activity mat.
I'm still buying muslin swaddlers because I like their airiness despite DS being too large to swaddle.
Baby brezza and a portable fridge was a game changer. We have a two story home and DS likes his bottles cold.
The PNP was mostly useless.
Love the fast action click connect jogger.
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