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April 2016 Moms
rebelone
member
Unpopular Opinions
rebelone
member
I'm challenging you to dig deep, deep within your soul and find something you think the rest of the world would not agree with. GO!
It's a boy! Grow baby, grow! EDD: 4/22/2016
Re: Unpopular Opinions
When it comes to baby showers I am ALL about the gift grab-I can use all the help I can get and I am counting on the shower to help out a lot.
Get your flame proof vests on....
I don't understand women (and men) who actively try to have kids knowing that they cannot fully cover the cost of the child. I am not talking anything crazy, but I don't get how you can, in good faith, try to get pregnant when you know that you cant cover rent or diapers.
I understand that some pregnancies are unplanned, which I think is an entirely different situation.
**** Formerly Snoflakes4eva****
It's a boy! Grow baby, grow! EDD: 4/22/2016
**** Formerly Snoflakes4eva****
It's a boy! Grow baby, grow! EDD: 4/22/2016
The signature ones are ugly, but they also carry some really nice plain ones
I had to close that thread and walk away because I would have gotten banned for what I really wanted to say.
**** Formerly Snoflakes4eva****
It's a boy! Grow baby, grow! EDD: 4/22/2016
But it doesn't have to be! DHS adoption is free and there are so many kids on waiting lists for homes. If you want to privately adopt an infant, yes, but otherwise there are so many kids in foster care waiting for families - and its subsidized to pretty much free and are eligible for all sorts of benefits afterwards.
Totally agree and not saying adoption is not like going to the store and buying a new shirt! And yes, of course my perspective is limited to my own experiences. I'm not at all implying I think advances in fertility help are bad, in fact, I'm sure I would want them available to myself if I needed them. I have family members who are the result of various fertility treatments and have had many friends go through the process as well. I guess my point is adoption was the last resort on all of their lists and I just feel the loss of interest in adoption is an unfortunate side effect of all of these amazing medical advances.
We are open to an older child, but isn't foster care temporary? I wouldn't want there to be any chance that the child would get taken away.
My UO: I hate Indian food. I spent about a month in Nepal in college and the food is very similar there. I ate it while there (obviously) and seriously can't even smell Indian/Nepalese food without feeling sick. It took me months to be able to eat rice and beans after I got back.
I was nervous ya'll would think that way towards me when I posted my rant on Monday! I'm reeeeeeally glad it didn't go in the "you just need to leave his sorry ass" direction. Of course our situations are not really on the same level either >.> (Thank the Gods for that!)
I remember her older post and I think I posted on that at the time, but I couldn't bring myself to this time around. One of my sisters was in a relationship with an alcoholic abusive jerk face, who kept her away from her family, stole all of her money, was hateful to her two children, and threatening to me. I know from that experience how much you can convince yourself that it's your fault he's like this, and you just need to wait it out so he can be better again. Very heartbreaking... (She has been out of that relationship for about nine months now, living with my parents, and at a much better place in her life, however she still loves him no matter what. It really bothers me, but I know this is a normal part of breaking out of those situations, and it will run its course eventually.)
I agree that the signature bags are ugly. I think all signature bags are no matter the brand. I have several coach bags though and I love them. Outside of my work bag, they're all fun colored plain leather
I really love red vines
It's heartbreaking to see, and even more heartbreaking to think what could have happened if these girls had foster or adoptive parents who weren't as incredible as my aunt and uncle have been. Under no circumstances can I blame people who want to be parents for seeking out ways to have biological children when the alternative can be so freaking devastating (I mean, you take your risks with parenting regardless, but it does seem to be less likely to result in those sorts of issues). I think it takes a really special family to be able to handle those sorts of challenges. Grateful for those who are willing and capable (IIRC, your family falls into that category), but I don't think there's any shame in recognizing that you're not, either.
---QBF---
Oh I completely agree. I just always want to throw the idea of DHS adoption in to the mix when talking about adoption. There are hundreds of kids in Iowa right now with parental rights already terminated that are just waiting (plus thousands in foster care situations) for families and so few people know that they exist. There's definitely no shame in growing your family biologically or through private/infant adoption, especially if you know your family couldn't handle the stress of DHS in general or psych and attachment issues common with any non-infant adoption. Adopt only DHS kids are the ones considered special needs - mental/emotional/physical disability, sibling groups, and kids older than 8 if white or 6 if a minority, or are coming out of a foster situation where their foster family couldn't be their adoptive family; so they do tend to have more needs than an infant. Its definitely not rainbows and butterflies. It's just something that gets under my skin when I hear people say "we'd adopt except for the price" as if adoption HAS to be 40k.
I should clarify that I only know how it works in Iowa, but here it's free to be licensed as foster, adopt or both (10 week class plus a butt ton of paperwork) including your home study, you get a stipend annually to pay for your continuing education (at least as foster parents) and the adoption processing is free. Then once the kids are yours, you can apply for all sorts of additional benefits for them that may not be covered by your insurance, like psych care.
Long-winded PSA over
TL;DR - you can adopt essentially free without fostering at least in Iowa. The kids usually have more needs and it's completely okay if that's not something your family can handle, but it is an option for families who can.
I registered at BRU and Target, my aunt gave me a $50 giftcard for BBB. I've had it since November because BBB is so expensive that I can not justify spending the giftcard on something that I can get for half the price at BRU or Target.
That said, I don't see anything wrong with asking your husband (or him asking you) to be clear and firm with ANY woman who is trying to be more than friendly, and to avoid them if they won't back off, but I think that would be included in the "things they don't need in their life".
But I think it also depends on the emotional connection between the people. With DH it is super clear how much like brother and sister their relationship is. But I have exs who still had things for their exs or vice versa and I wasn't comfortable with that. I only have one ex I had any interest in being friends with after and he stopped talking to me when he found out I was KU after telling me there was always a part of him that knew we would end up back together so it was to hard seeing me have this with someone else.
My love for this has increased as my pregnancy has gone on because LO reacts differently to different people. She gets super bouncy when her daddy touches my tummy and talks. She has started coming around to my mom and a couple other family members. But everyone else she will either stop moving completely while there is a hand there OR she moves to another part of my tummy.
It's the coolest!
I don't have a big problem with the actual touching, it's the assumption that it's okay that gets me. Almost any acquaintance who asked wouldn't bother me, it's the "sneak attacks" that make me super cranky.