That DH tho...

[Deleted User] · January 2016

Apologies if this sort of thread has already been posted in the recentish past - I tried searching but didn't really see anything.

After an HR lead workshop about mat. leave yesterday DH and I adjusted when we plan on starting TTC. We were initially planning on July, but bumped it up to May. DH's first response was "wow - that's coming up isn't it?". It kind of made me laugh because it still feels like a long way off to me, but it did get me thinking. I feel like ladies do an awful lot in order to prepare for TTC - needed or not. We obsess over our drinking and eating habits, worry about our sleep, weight, etc etc. DH asked me what he should be doing to get prepared and it sort of occurred to me that we don't really think about that too much - or at least I hadn't. I suggested that he make sure he exercises consistently throughout the week and to start taking a basic multivitamin. He also told me the other day that he's going in for a promotion at work which I think was primarily motivated by our increasingly frequent conversations about baby costs.

Would love to hear if your DH/partner did anything to prepare as well. Maybe it's something physical, maybe it was to prepare financially or mentally.

Or maybe you have read something in an article that suggests men do something - let me know!

britters314 · January 2016

I had read that men should lower their caffeine intake when TTC, so my husband stopped drinking soda. He used to drink Dr. Pepper constantly (like 5-10 cans per day) and I have been trying to get him to quit since we got married and he finally did

[Deleted User] · January 2016

bcooke314 said:

I had read that men should lower their caffeine intake when TTC, so my husband stopped drinking soda. He used to drink Dr. Pepper constantly (like 5-10 cans per day) and I have been trying to get him to quit since we got married and he finally did

Haha I bet his teeth will thank him as well! DH doesn't do soda but he definitely drinks coffee every day. I wonder what the recommended daily intake for that is in regards to TTC for men...

fitlady21 · January 2016

My DH has always taken a multivitamin, eats healthy, and excercises so I haven't asked for any changes. He isn't a coffee drinker but does drink a mix that had BCAAs and caffeine in it... I might ask him to start cutting back on that haha

britters314 · January 2016

antoto said:

bcooke314 said:

I had read that men should lower their caffeine intake when TTC, so my husband stopped drinking soda. He used to drink Dr. Pepper constantly (like 5-10 cans per day) and I have been trying to get him to quit since we got married and he finally did

Haha I bet his teeth will thank him as well! DH doesn't do soda but he definitely drinks coffee every day. I wonder what the recommended daily intake for that is in regards to TTC for men...

I haven't read much into it - just a few brief mentions in a few books - but they did say coffee isn't great either. If they need to have caffeine to be awake or whatever, tea is the best to drink.

NamelessAria · January 2016

I'll admit I had an incredibly hard time getting my DH to do anything at all other than BDing more frequently during my FW. I mean every month that's somewhat of a struggle but not the epic battle some of the other things have been.

Finally, now that we're 13 months and 9 cycles into this whole TTC thing DH has started taking a multivitamin.

We're still arguing over his coffee drinking habits. Not to say I want him to give up coffee altogether, because that would be silly. I'd just like him to not drink approximately 5 (8oz) cups a day. 1 or 2 sure. But not 5. One month he told me he'd cut back on how much coffee he drinks. I couldn't have been much more thorough in my explanation that it isn't the coffee exactly, it's the caffeine that's the problem. So limiting coffee is just to limit caffeine. And yet DH ended up just substituting a couple of cups of coffee for things like red bull and soda.

http38mediatumblrcomtumblr_m6prz2s04m1r08c3oo1_500gif

ETA: @antoto It's been really hard for me to find any definitive numbers of daily caffeine intake for males but I did find this:

Couples with male partners whose caffeine intake was in the study’s highest range (more than 265 milligrams a day- or about three eight ounce cups of coffee) were only half as likely to have a clinical pregnancy as couples where the male consumed less than 88 mgs of caffeine a day.

[Deleted User] · January 2016

NamelessAria said:

I'll admit I had an incredibly hard time getting my DH to do anything at all other than BDing more frequently during my FW. I mean every month that's somewhat of a struggle but not the epic battle some of the other things have been.

Finally, now that we're 13 months and 9 cycles into this whole TTC thing DH has started taking a multivitamin.

We're still arguing over his coffee drinking habits. Not to say I want him to give up coffee altogether, because that would be silly. I'd just like him to not drink approximately 5 (8oz) cups a day. 1 or 2 sure. But not 5. One month he told me he'd cut back on how much coffee he drinks. I couldn't have been much more thorough in my explanation that it isn't the coffee exactly, it's the caffeine that's the problem. So limiting coffee is just to limit caffeine. And yet DH ended up just substituting a couple of cups of coffee for things like red bull and soda.

ETA: @antoto It's been really hard for me to find any definitive numbers of daily caffeine intake for males but I did find this:
Couples with male partners whose caffeine intake was in the study’s highest range (more than 265 milligrams a day- or about three eight ounce cups of coffee) were only half as likely to have a clinical pregnancy as couples where the male consumed less than 88 mgs of caffeine a day.

Oh SNAP that is helpful. Will definitely show this to DH tonight. Thanks @NamelessAria !

[Deleted User] · January 2016

I just got DH these on Amazon. They claim to support reproductive health including Saw plametto aka "the prostate herb". It's probably like 99% BS but hey I'm a sucker for that shit. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0007YCC7S?keywords=mens multivitamin&qid=1453310956&ref_=sr_1_1&s=hpc&sr=1-1

ShallowSeas · January 2016

DH started taking a multivitamin when we first started ttc and just recently stopped drinking as much caffeine.

therealvday · January 2016

I have been trying to be as prepared as I can be to TTC, and as such have read the books "Get Ready to Get Pregnant" and "What To Expect Before You're Expecting" with DH.

Most of the book is geared towards the woman but there were sections for the man in each book too. Honestly, a lot of it was common sense. Eat healthy, exercise, don't drink/smoke/do drugs.

The only things DH has done differently since reading the books have been cutting down on fatty foods, exercising, minimizing drinking/smoking weed. He has always taken vitamins with me and eaten relatively healthy.

iceandsnowflakes29 · January 2016

We are totally backwards as a couple. He talked me into moving in with him, I talked him sold him on marriage, and then after that I was like okay. And then on our honeymoon I stopped mid-foreplay to get get my diaphragm (sexy, I know) and he was like "we don't need that anymore" and I was like SAY WHA?

And that was all she wrote.

He doesn't really do anything to prep other than ask me about timing, etc.

We did buy a bigger car (SUV) prior to #1. And now that we are working on #3 I'm looking into mini vans.

mrsdee15 · January 2016

One day I came home and DH just started spouting facts on sperm health and how often we should be HIO to maximize sperm potential. I thought it was cute.

RN91 · January 2016

DH tells me if we are not pregnant after 3 months of trying then he will start looking at changing his habits! However, he ordered parenting books about parenting philosophies he was interested in like 6 months ago!? LOL!

JamieK1882 · January 2016

The only thing we did was have DH stop one of his medications that can potentially be teratogenic. It's not used for anything of health importance (it's a prescription med to prevent baldness). He stopped taking it when we conceived #1 and even after she was born he stayed off a while and definitely noticed the effects! He's anxious to get me KU so he can take his pill again lol.

hupp0013 · January 2016

DH cut back on his coffee. I made sure he stayed away from hot tubs and that he wears boxers. He did take vitamins for me the first two times we tried, I am not going to push that this time. I had him decrease his caffeine a few months before we tried because it takes a few months for these measures to be effective.

PensiveCrayon · January 2016

DH refuses to take multivitamins "because he doesn't want to get sick to his stomach."

WHATEVZ. We both lead fairly healthy lifestyles, so he's not going to cut back on any caffeine or alcohol, because his intake is already pretty negligible.

I am a bit worried about this new position he's been learning at work. He's literally there for over twelve hours every day, and is SOOPER stressed out when he gets home. Luckily, my max fertility happened to be this past weekend, when he had Monday off for MLK day. I'm not sure whether sperm is affected by long-term or short-term stress, but hopefully the longer weekend helped.

g8rmama_16 · January 2016

DH asked how he could help the process and I told him cutting caffeine might help. He drinks a lot of it, but doesn't really feel the effect of the caffeine. I got him some roasted dandelion root tea and he doesn't miss coffee at all! He loves it! It is a great replacement.
ETA watch out for the kind with chickory root if you want to drink it yourself. It is not recommended for pregnancy because it causes uterine contractions.

[Deleted User] · January 2016

hupp0013 said:

DH cut back on his coffee. I made sure he stayed away from hot tubs and that he wears boxers. He did take vitamins for me the first two times we tried, I am not going to push that this time. I had him decrease his caffeine a few months before we tried because it takes a few months for these measures to be effective.

This is actually an interesting point. I think I read somewhere that it takes about a month for 100% of the sperm to be changed out so most changes can be made about a month in advance, but that might not be true for all things.

Edited to bold in point.

NamelessAria · January 2016

antoto said:

hupp0013 said:

DH cut back on his coffee. I made sure he stayed away from hot tubs and that he wears boxers. He did take vitamins for me the first two times we tried, I am not going to push that this time. I had him decrease his caffeine a few months before we tried because it takes a few months for these measures to be effective.

This is actually an interesting point. I think I read somewhere that it takes about a month for 100% of the sperm to be changed out so most changes can be made about a month in advance, but that might not be true for all things.

Edited to bold in point.

httpimgpandawhalecom82941-Darth-Vader-NOOOO-gif-4TB2gif

If that's true then DH would actually have to cut back how much caffeine he consumes all the time and not just during the FW (which is already basically never going to happen). The last month or so when I see him making a fresh pot of coffee at 10pm so he can stay up and watch TV longer I've been teasing him about how we'll never have children. Haha super funny joke I know.

I guess it's my passive-aggressive way of letting him know it bothers me and raises concerns about the whole TTC process without feeling quite so naggy.

ETA: Wikipedia says spermatogensis in humans takes ~74 days.

@HeyBooHey I switched off coffee to an herbal coffee that sounds a lot like what you're describing. Teeccino. It's delicious. DH will drink it with me sometimes but generally he's all like "I don't want your fake coffee! I want real coffee with real caffeine!"

[Deleted User] · January 2016

If that's true then DH would actually have to cut back how much caffeine he consumes all the time and not just during the FW (which is already basically never going to happen). The last month or so when I see him making a fresh pot of coffee at 10pm so he can stay up and watch TV longer I've been teasing him about how we'll never have children. Haha super funny joke I know. I guess it's my passive-aggressive way of letting him know it bothers me and raises concerns about the whole TTC process without feeling quite so naggy.

ETA: Wikipedia says spermatogensis in humans takes ~74 days.

@HeyBooHey I switched off coffee to an herbal coffee that sounds a lot like what you're describing. Teeccino. It's delicious. DH will drink it with me sometimes but generally he's all like "I don't want your fake coffee! I want real coffee with real caffeine!"

1) lol that gif. Love.

2) Holy shit 74 days????? I'm so damn glad I made this thread. MFing knowledge being dropped right now. Texted DH immediately when I read that.

Edit: Just read Wiki for that and noticed it could be even longer - closer to a full 3 months. HAH. I know for women it's 3 months for eggs to mature and whatnot so I have a small amount of satisfaction knowing DH is in the same boat. muahaha

g8rmama_16 · January 2016

@NamelessAria that is the kind he drinks! I would research chicory root, though. That brand is made with it and it has side effects for early pregnancy.

NamelessAria · January 2016

@HeyBooHey That's definitely good to know. I just assumed Teeccino was safe to drink while pregnant. I guess if I ever manage to get pregnant I'll just be living off water and Gatorade.

g8rmama_16 · January 2016

NamelessAria said:
@HeyBooHey That's definitely good to know. I just assumed Teeccino was safe to drink while pregnant. I guess if I ever manage to get pregnant I'll just be living off water and Gatorade.

There may be versions of Teeccino without the chickory, I'm not sure. And I know there are other brands of dandelion root tea that don't have it.

housewifehobbyist · January 2016

I'm the one who has had to switch to half caf (you can pry my coffee from my cold dead hands), DH rarely drinks caffeine, but he has cut down on alcohol and started taking extra folate and zinc at my request. He's also agreed to get a semen analysis if we're not pregnant in the next couple of months, just to ease both of our minds.

I have read something about how consuming caffeine a few hours before sex can make sperm peppier, but I didn't read too much into the study to see how accurate it is.

PensiveCrayon · January 2016

@housewifehobbyist Dude. Interesting about the caffeine/sperm link. Here's a summary of a study I found if anyone else is interested.

iceandsnowflakes29 · January 2016

housewifehobbyist said:
I'm the one who has had to switch to half caf (you can pry my coffee from my cold dead hands), DH rarely drinks caffeine, but he has cut down on alcohol and started taking extra folate and zinc at my request. He's also agreed to get a semen analysis if we're not pregnant in the next couple of months, just to ease both of our minds.

I have read something about how consuming caffeine a few hours before sex can make sperm peppier, but I didn't read too much into the study to see how accurate it is.

I heard this too. One time - way back when I had my husband chugging a red Bull before sex. He thought it was a weird new fetish at first.

[Deleted User] · January 2016

Oh man that's crazy. So apparently caffeine is fine... but cell phones kept in pockets are not! https://www.ci.berkeley.ca.us/uploadedFiles/Planning_and_Development/Level_3_-_Commissions/Commission_for_Community_Environmental_Advisory/CEAC2011-04-07_1i-Effects_of_CellPhoneRadiation_onHumanSperm-Moskowitz.pdf

[Deleted User] · January 2016

emilyIRL said:

@housewifehobbyist Dude. Interesting about the caffeine/sperm link. Here's a summary of a study I found if anyone else is interested.

So interesting! I wonder how long the effects lasted? And wouldn't you only want this to happen closer to ovulation? Say you're 5 days before ovulation you don't exactly want the little guys rushing around exhausting themselves, right?

MrsDho11 · January 2016

I cut caffeine completely out a month or two before TTC just because I wanted to prove to myself that I could. I let myself have a little from time to time now, but not a lot. After I quit though, DH quit, so at least he's got that going for him. He too used to drink TONS of soda... he still does, it's just caffeine free (and diet). I've tried to get him to stop, but he won't.

I've also been trying to get him to take a multivitamin, but he fights it. He took one once on an empty stomach and got sick, and now he's like, "they always make me sick!" Right 1 time he gets sick, and like 20 times he hasn't. Uggghhhh, just take your vitamins, DH!

[Deleted User] · January 2016

MrsDho11 said:

I cut caffeine completely out a month or two before TTC just because I wanted to prove to myself that I could. I let myself have a little from time to time now, but not a lot. After I quit though, DH quit, so at least he's got that going for him. He too used to drink TONS of soda... he still does, it's just caffeine free (and diet). I've tried to get him to stop, but he won't.

I've also been trying to get him to take a multivitamin, but he fights it. He took one once on an empty stomach and got sick, and now he's like, "they always make me sick!" Right 1 time he gets sick, and like 20 times he hasn't. Uggghhhh, just take your vitamins, DH!

Lol they can be such damn babies sometimes. Like compared to everything we physically go through they can't handle a damn multivitamin? Cracks me up. Eat a damn cracker with it!

g8rmama_16 · January 2016

MrsDho11 said:

I've also been trying to get him to take a multivitamin, but he fights it. He took one once on an empty stomach and got sick, and now he's like, "they always make me sick!" Right 1 time he gets sick, and like 20 times he hasn't. Uggghhhh, just take your vitamins, DH!

This reminds me of a bad experience I had with a multi vitamin. A few years ago I was going on a road trip with my sister and took a vitamin before I left and didn't eat anything. About 10 minutes into the drive my stomach started to kill so I ate a bunch of goldfish crackers. Well, it didn't get better so I made my sister pull over the car and I yacked on the side of the road. I left a goldfish colored streak down the side of an overpass. So gross.
I felt better after that, but when we got to our destination my sister looked at me and started to freak out. She was like what is wrong with your face?! I ran to a mirror and saw that one of my eyeballs was half bloody. I had puked so hard I busted a blood vessel in my eye and the bottom half looked like it was pooled with blood.
I spent the rest of a weekend with a disgusting bloody eye.
On a plus side, I used it as a conversation starter with more than a few guys and it worked like a charm! This was way before DH was around.
To make a long story short, I don't take multivitamins anymore. Or eat goldfish.

jmr1515 · January 2016

DH lives a pretty healthy lifestyle so he didn't have too many changes to make.
He started taking a multivitamin this month along with coq10 and fish oil. I also have him taking horny goat weed. I have to comend him for actually taking something called horny goat weed!! Surprisingly he's noticed a huge difference...this may be TMI but he is definitely more in the mood and says he has stronger orgasms. He's not complaining!

NamelessAria · January 2016

@Antoto , @iceandsnowflakes29 I'm not sure if someone has mentioned this already but I did read a couple of the studies that talked about caffeine making sperm peppier. The downside was that the effect was short lived and after the "burst of speed," so to speak, the sperm started moving slower than they would have without the caffeine. Apparently, the amount of increase in time and speed compared to the amount of decrease in time and speed still netted a loss in speed. So basically, it's like the sperm version of the tortoise and the hare.

iceandsnowflakes29 · January 2016

@NamelessAria we only did the red Bull thing one time for the sake of willing to try anything. However, that is interesting!

britters314 · January 2016

Oh, I also have read that sunlight exposure is good for men's fertility. I don't know how scientific it is but what I read had said about 30 minutes of sunlight a day is recommended. I would assume it is for the vitamin D, so I would think a supplement would also work. I use this to get my husband to actually go outside, though, because he would be perfectly happy never setting foot outside again (which I get right now because it is 0 degrees outside, but I don't get it in the summer).

khbear117 · January 2016

DH started exercising regularly, cut down dairy and fast food, and is generally eating healthier. Part of it was wanting to be healthier, part of it was TTC. I can't believe it takes over a month to replace sperm! That's crazy!

mrskratt · January 2016

*Face Palm*
We have been TTCing for 9 months and I never even thought about DH's habits. He drinks a lot of coffee and is currently talking about buying an espresso machine.
Well, time to shoot that down.

fitlady21 · January 2016

jmr1515 said:
DH lives a pretty healthy lifestyle so he didn't have too many changes to make.
He started taking a multivitamin this month along with coq10 and fish oil. I also have him taking horny goat weed. I have to comend him for actually taking something called horny goat weed!! Surprisingly he's noticed a huge difference...this may be TMI but he is definitely more in the mood and says he has stronger orgasms. He's not complaining!

Horny goat weed?! Totally just added it to my cart on Amazon

cjt121413 · January 2016

This kind of freaks me out, because there is no way DH will cut down on coffee. He
drinks a ridiculous amount of coffee and is really attached to it. This is him at 11 pm on any given night, seriously, except he's not a ginger.

He has taken a multivitamin for years and this weekend went to a bunch of stores searching for a mail fertility - boosting vitamin. Hopefully that will make up for the caffeine. Maybe?

I might switch his coffee beans with decaf beans. Would that make me crazy?

[Deleted User] · January 2016

cjt121413 said:

This kind of freaks me out, because there is no way DH will cut down on coffee. He drinks a ridiculous amount of coffee and is really attached to it. This is him at 11 pm on any given night, seriously, except he's not a ginger. He has taken a multivitamin for years and this weekend went to a bunch of stores searching for a mail fertility - boosting vitamin. Hopefully that will make up for the caffeine. Maybe? I might switch his coffee beans with decaf beans. Would that make me crazy?

Maybe just show him some of the studies about high caffeine intake and fertility and see what he says? He could maybe cut down a bit. It says in most of the studies that even a moderate drinker doesn't have their sperm affected - it's only people who drink pretty extreme amounts so he doesn't need to give it up completely.

NamelessAria · January 2016

@cjt121413 said:

This kind of freaks me out, because there is no way DH will cut down on coffee. He drinks a ridiculous amount of coffee and is really attached to it. This is him at 11 pm on any given night, seriously, except he's not a ginger. He has taken a multivitamin for years and this weekend went to a bunch of stores searching for a mail fertility - boosting vitamin. Hopefully that will make up for the caffeine. Maybe? I might switch his coffee beans with decaf beans. Would that make me crazy?

httpmediatumblrcomtumblr_m5zthxqCxY1qbtqdcgif

Excuse me while I go switch out DH's coffee for decaf

ETA: Speaking of things that may or may not make you crazy: I was bitching to a friend of mine about how DH and I never seem to manage to BD more than 2-3 times in a fertile window. EVER. And he's like "do you want me to see if I can get Viagra from my doctor and give it to you so you can slip it in your husband's coffee in the morning or something during your fertile week?"
I confess I was slightly more tempted than any sane person should be. Also, it was hilarious because I'm fairly certain my friend would do it.

Edit 2: I forgot where I was going with that story. I was going to say that drugging your DH would be crazy. Switching out his coffee for decaf is just sneaky and brilliant.

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Fell in love: Dec 2005 // Married: Feb 9, 2013

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