Hello,
Just thought I'd take a moment to introduce myself. I introduce myself on the miscarriage/loss board but this one seemed more appropriate for my situation.
I've been lurking on the bump since August, but today I'd my first time posting about myself and responding to other's posts.
About me: My name is Krystina and I'm 29, been married for 1 1/2 years. We began TTC in August and got our first BFP on 9/1. At our first OB appointment in late September, we found out that I was a high risk for miscarriage due to extremely low progesterone. They put me on progesterone supplements and I tried to prepare myself that we might lose this baby. I went to my first ultrasound 2 days later. I was so excited to hear that we had a healthy heartbeat! Then a week later I started to spot a little. I called my OB and we went for another ultrasound where we discovered there was no longer a heartbeat.
I waited to miscarry naturally but the progesterone that slowed the process and forced me to have to take misoprostol.
I'm absolutely devastated still. I'm not sure I'll ever move past this. I'm so desperate to start my family but terrified this will happen again. I'm not sure I can handle it. I still cry every day. Is this normal?!
Re: Intro*warning loss mentioned*
I truly think that the secrecy and silence around pregnancy loss (and the hush hush of being in your first trimester) has raised society to believe that a pregnancy loss is not as heartbreaking, devastating, tragic, terrifying as it really is. We are grieving a loss like no other. Therefore if you need to cry everyday - do it. Let the feelings wash over you and hopefully someday soon the feelings of despair won't be so strong. One foot in front of the other. Hugs.
TTC #1 started Aug 2014
BFP Apr 3 2015
natural M/C April 20 2015 @ 6w6d
BFP Nov 18 2015
natural M/C Nov 23 2015 @ 5w4d.
I think being able to talk about it openly will be beneficial. The silence and secrecy that you mentioned is definitely there and definitely not helping.
I hope you are healing on your journey through this as well.
Hugs right back at you!
TTC since May 2014.
Aug 2014 BFP, EDD April 22, 2015. Low progesterone, started suppositories. Loss at 5w6d.
Nov 19, 2015 BFP at 13 dpo, EDD July 29, 2016. MMC discovered 12/29 (9+4). Natural miscarriage 1/16 (12+1).
AMH results 0.42, 1.2; FSH 12.1, AFC 10, dx DOR.
RPL testing results normal. Nurse recommended progesterone suppositories in TWW.
Clomid + trigger + TI cycle August 2016 - failed. Thin lining.
Femara + trigger + TI cycle December 2016 - failed. Thin lining.
Short LP (8 days).
Acupuncture & Chinese herbs starting January 2017, lengthened LP to 10 days
Summer 2016 LFAF awards:
Winter 2016/2017 LFAF awards:
Me: 33 & DH: 33
Married: 07/2006
TTC: 10/2015
BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017
***TW****MC mentioned & BFP mentioned***
TTC#1 since July 2014
AMH 0.1, DOR, Poor responder
Moved to Prague, Czech Republic for IVF
DE attempt in Czech Republic!!
March trip to Prague canceled due to Pancreatitis.
Headed to Prague April 30
3 different donors resulted in 1 PGS tested embryo and 1 fresh embryo
BFP on 5/15/16 at 5dp5dt
My blog: www.wearethehammitts.blogspot.com
I've definitely found that being able to talk openly about my experience and hearing from other women who have experienced loss has helped me greatly. Just being able to hear and know that others have had similar emotions has allowed me to feel what I've needed to and work through the grief process. But like others have said, sometimes I can feel totally fine and then the next thing I know something triggers me and I end up a mess!
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1
Me: 33 H: 36
Married: 12/14/13 DS: 1/29/09
BFP2: 10/9/15 MMC: 11/12/15
BFP3: 4/6/16 DD: 12/12/16