Intro*warning loss mentioned*

Daisydoodle86

Hello,

Just thought I'd take a moment to introduce myself. I introduce myself on the miscarriage/loss board but this one seemed more appropriate for my situation.

I've been lurking on the bump since August, but today I'd my first time posting about myself and responding to other's posts.

About me: My name is Krystina and I'm 29, been married for 1 1/2 years. We began TTC in August and got our first BFP on 9/1. At our first OB appointment in late September, we found out that I was a high risk for miscarriage due to extremely low progesterone. They put me on progesterone supplements and I tried to prepare myself that we might lose this baby. I went to my first ultrasound 2 days later. I was so excited to hear that we had a healthy heartbeat! Then a week later I started to spot a little. I called my OB and we went for another ultrasound where we discovered there was no longer a heartbeat.

I waited to miscarry naturally but the progesterone that slowed the process and forced me to have to take misoprostol.

I'm absolutely devastated still. I'm not sure I'll ever move past this. I'm so desperate to start my family but terrified this will happen again. I'm not sure I can handle it. I still cry every day. Is this normal?!

megsbrock

I'm very sorry for your loss, and I hope that joining this group can bring you even the slightest bit of comfort.
I truly think that the secrecy and silence around pregnancy loss (and the hush hush of being in your first trimester) has raised society to believe that a pregnancy loss is not as heartbreaking, devastating, tragic, terrifying as it really is. We are grieving a loss like no other. Therefore if you need to cry everyday - do it. Let the feelings wash over you and hopefully someday soon the feelings of despair won't be so strong. One foot in front of the other. Hugs.

Daisydoodle86

Thank you for your kind words, it's nice to know that there are people who understand. Most of my friends have happy healthy babies and have had no losses. I had a friend compare my loss to a friend who tried for 6 months before conceiving. It was difficult to remain polite.

I think being able to talk about it openly will be beneficial. The silence and secrecy that you mentioned is definitely there and definitely not helping.

I hope you are healing on your journey through this as well.

Hugs right back at you!

AL_TwinCities

I'm so sorry for your loss @Krystinadimare. This board can be so helpful and supportive - I hope you can find some comfort here. Hugs. 

silentP

I'm sorry you find yourself here, but welcome. All the best to you and wishing you a rainbow baby soon.

catiecatp

Here are some creepy internet stranger hugs - everyone's grief and healing process is different, if you need to cry then that is what you need to do. But if you are still feeling overwhelmed in a few months (or perhaps even now) you may want to consider therapy if that is an option for you - I haven't gone that route, but I know others on this board have and have said it has really helped them. Let us know if there is anything we can do to support you - and by all means vent away about stupid things people tell you (or even the nice lovely things they tell you) - we're here to listen  

Daisydoodle86

Thank you @AL_TwinCities. I'm already feeling better just knowing there is a place to to talk with no judgement. I'll keep my fingers crossed for a rainbow baby for you as well!

Daisydoodle86

@catiecatp creepy internet hugs are my fave! I honestly hadn't even thought about therapy- I didn't think it existed for this sort of thing, but it's something to consider, so thank you

susykat77

I am so sorry for your loss. I still cry a lot too. Some days I think I'm feeling better but then out of nowhere the waterworks start. Big (creepy internet) hugs to you.

dpjennifer

@Krystinadimare I'm sorry for your loss.

I've definitely found that being able to talk openly about my experience and hearing from other women who have experienced loss has helped me greatly.  Just being able to hear and know that others have had similar emotions has allowed me to feel what I've needed to and work through the grief process.  But like others have said, sometimes I can feel totally fine and then the next thing I know something triggers me and I end up a mess!

Daisydoodle86

sorry I didn't respond to this-- still trying to fix my notification settings. I hope you're feeling good this week

Daisydoodle86

@susykat77 so sorry I didn't respond to this-- still trying to fix my notification settings. I do appreciate creepy internet hugs- they're the best kind. Hope you are having a happy day today! The weather where I am has been gorgeous, which is definately helping

cjt121413

I'm so sorry for my late response, but I'm very sorry for your loss. I'm glad to feel you are getting some good weather and feeling better.