I debated whether or not to post this because I will probably be flamed, but I need to get it off my chest. My male Great Dane has been going down hill for the past year. He has a degenerative disease which is causing his back end to have very little strength and is basically numb. This causes him to not know when he needs to have a bowel movement so it just falls out. He weighs 160 lbs, so this is similar to a grown person walking around and pooping on the floor....daily. He also throws up almost daily as well (unrelated to his current issues). He has started sleeping all day and wants to go out 4-5 times s night. He can barely get up the stairs to come back inside. All told I'm up with him for at least an hour each night. This past Monday his back end gave out completely and he fell down, but rolled around trying so hard to get back up (imagine a horse trying to stand). Fortunately my sister was there and able to help, because I certainly shouldn't be lifting 160 lbs while pregnant. Of course my kids were terrified. I am ready to say good bye. I love him, he has been an amazing dog and member of our family, but I truly think it's time. My husband has decided he's not ready to put him down. I think this is horribly unfair as DH really doesn't do any of the care giving. He works long hours, then finds many things to do when he's off work. It's not fair to the dog and it's really not fair to me. I guess my confession is that I feel like I should feel like a bad person for wanting to put my dog to sleep, but I just don't.
@lola6711- FWIW, I don't think it's bad you're not feeling guilty. He's obviously in a ton of pain and it's selfish of DH to want to keep him around because he's "not ready." Maybe say you'll make an appt for Monday, and he's got the weekend to say goodbye?
I debated whether or not to post this because I will probably be flamed, but I need to get it off my chest. My male Great Dane has been going down hill for the past year. He has a degenerative disease which is causing his back end to have very little strength and is basically numb. This causes him to not know when he needs to have a bowel movement so it just falls out. He weighs 160 lbs, so this is similar to a grown person walking around and pooping on the floor....daily. He also throws up almost daily as well (unrelated to his current issues). He has started sleeping all day and wants to go out 4-5 times s night. He can barely get up the stairs to come back inside. All told I'm up with him for at least an hour each night. This past Monday his back end gave out completely and he fell down, but rolled around trying so hard to get back up (imagine a horse trying to stand). Fortunately my sister was there and able to help, because I certainly shouldn't be lifting 160 lbs while pregnant. Of course my kids were terrified. I am ready to say good bye. I love him, he has been an amazing dog and member of our family, but I truly think it's time. My husband has decided he's not ready to put him down. I think this is horribly unfair as DH really doesn't do any of the care giving. He works long hours, then finds many things to do when he's off work. It's not fair to the dog and it's really not fair to me. I guess my confession is that I feel like I should feel like a bad person for wanting to put my dog to sleep, but I just don't.
What struck me about this post is how negatively it seems your dog's quality of life is impacted. For me, in determining when it's time to say goodbye to a furry loved one, the main questions are 1) are they suffering with no other recourse? And 2) do they have any quality of life?
My vet says and I agree, that he isn't really in pain. So at least there's that. I'm going to say this bluntly, but he is also not a smart dog. He is happy getting loved on and when you tell him he is a good boy, but otherwise I think he is just confused.
Stemming from your FFFC @ashleyrobertson0113 - my kids get screen time every night. It's a major source of guilt - but to get supper made, dishes done, etc - it's the simplest way to keep them entertained. We make up for it by having VERY little screen time on the weekends, but still - the GUILT runs rampant about it. My 2 year old knows way too much about Paw Patrol
Sometimes it's a necessary evil to keep them from burning the house down while you try to get stuff done. It's great that you balance that with less screen time on weekends. Don't stress yourself out over it too much!
My FFFC: I printed my friend's registry today and it was THIRTY PAGES FRONT AND BACK. I judged. I love her but I judged.
Holy cow!!! That's insane!! I seriously think my registry is like a page and a half. I only registered for absolute necessities. No toys. No clothes. Nothing crazy expensive. Just the basics.
@lola6711 - we had our dog for 18 years when we finally had to put her down. She had gone mostly blind and mostly deaf and she was so weak and shaky she could barely walk outside to go the bathroom.
At some point you have to realize that theyre in too much pain and going through too much suffering and keeping them alive is cruel and unkind. Sounds like you realize that but your hubby isn't quite there yet. It's so hard to say goodbye to a furry family member like that. Hopefully your hubby will come around and realize it's for the best.
@lola6711 no flaming from me. I look at quality of life more than whether they're in pain. Sure he may not be in pain (yet) but is it worth prolonging life if he can't do much of anything because of his health issues?
FWIW (and maybe a FFFC of my own) I believe the same of people. I would rather have 3 months of enjoying life than 2 years of chemo for terminal cancer where all the chemo was doing was prolonging the inevitable and I was miserable the whole time. Quality over quantity.
My FFFC: I printed my friend's registry today and it was THIRTY PAGES FRONT AND BACK. I judged. I love her but I judged.
FRONT AND BACK?!? I giggled a lot at the Friends ref. But holy ish. Sixty pages of baby stuff???? Did they register for every single kind of bottle, nipple, pacifier and piece of clothing in the store??????
I... I think maybe? There were at least two pages of pacifiers and teething rings. o.o
I haven't even started my registry, but I imagine my wrist would wear out from all that scanning!
My FFFC: I printed my friend's registry today and it was THIRTY PAGES FRONT AND BACK. I judged. I love her but I judged.
FRONT AND BACK?!? I giggled a lot at the Friends ref. But holy ish. Sixty pages of baby stuff???? Did they register for every single kind of bottle, nipple, pacifier and piece of clothing in the store??????
I... I think maybe? There were at least two pages of pacifiers and teething rings. o.o
I haven't even started my registry, but I imagine my wrist would wear out from all that scanning!
That's what DH is for. You show him what to scan and the guy goes nuts. At least my DH did for our wedding and baby reg
@lola6711 We used a quality of life scale to help us make that difficult decision. If you google that - many different ones will come up. I found it very helpful.
@ahernandez16 I would definitely recommend a hotel in little Italy. There are tons of restaurants and little shops in walking distance and they have a great farmers market on Saturdays that is fun to just stroll through (but a pain if you need to drive to) and there's a couple good music venues if there's someone in town you're interested in hearing. My in laws have stayed at a hotel called Porto Vista a couple times and liked it. It's not super expensive, more like a holiday inn trying to look like a W hotel.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
@ahernandez16 try Hotel Solamar if you want to be right in the gas lamp. It's a beautiful boutique hotel that's part of the kimpton chain. It's restaurant, J Six is fantastic and the roof top pool/hot tub area is incredible.
I just made myself a big hot chocolate with a heap of whipped cream on top. I immediately licked all of the whipped cream off and then replaced the whipped cream with mini marshmallows, not once but twice. And then I ate the rest of the bag of marshmallows, for good measure.
I bought a bag of mini-marshmallows and whipped cream because of this post.
My FFFC: I have no interest in going on a babymoon. I don't think that our vacations will be any worse (different, yes) after a baby and see no reason to spend extra money to "enjoy the last days of our non-child-filled life". We will probably go camping, because that's what we do in the spring, and when people ask, I will call it our babymoon.
Agree. DH and I went to the NC outer banks while I was pregnant. When people asked if it was a babymoon, I'd laugh. Nope. Just a regular vacation. Like we do every year.
My FFFC my dogs have food poisoning so I've been elbow deep in diarrhea and vomit for 24 hours. The vet taught me how to give fluid under the skin and I've administered two bags. I feel like such a bad ass. My hands are life savers.
Re: It's FFFC Time!
My male Great Dane has been going down hill for the past year. He has a degenerative disease which is causing his back end to have very little strength and is basically numb. This causes him to not know when he needs to have a bowel movement so it just falls out. He weighs 160 lbs, so this is similar to a grown person walking around and pooping on the floor....daily.
He also throws up almost daily as well (unrelated to his current issues).
He has started sleeping all day and wants to go out 4-5 times s night. He can barely get up the stairs to come back inside. All told I'm up with him for at least an hour each night.
This past Monday his back end gave out completely and he fell down, but rolled around trying so hard to get back up (imagine a horse trying to stand). Fortunately my sister was there and able to help, because I certainly shouldn't be lifting 160 lbs while pregnant. Of course my kids were terrified.
I am ready to say good bye. I love him, he has been an amazing dog and member of our family, but I truly think it's time.
My husband has decided he's not ready to put him down. I think this is horribly unfair as DH really doesn't do any of the care giving. He works long hours, then finds many things to do when he's off work. It's not fair to the dog and it's really not fair to me.
I guess my confession is that I feel like I should feel like a bad person for wanting to put my dog to sleep, but I just don't.
I'm going to say this bluntly, but he is also not a smart dog. He is happy getting loved on and when you tell him he is a good boy, but otherwise I think he is just confused.
Holy cow!!! That's insane!! I seriously think my registry is like a page and a half. I only registered for absolute necessities. No toys. No clothes. Nothing crazy expensive. Just the basics.
At some point you have to realize that theyre in too much pain and going through too much suffering and keeping them alive is cruel and unkind. Sounds like you realize that but your hubby isn't quite there yet. It's so hard to say goodbye to a furry family member like that. Hopefully your hubby will come around and realize it's for the best.
FWIW (and maybe a FFFC of my own) I believe the same of people. I would rather have 3 months of enjoying life than 2 years of chemo for terminal cancer where all the chemo was doing was prolonging the inevitable and I was miserable the whole time. Quality over quantity.
I haven't even started my registry, but I imagine my wrist would wear out from all that scanning!