I really don't know what to do. Pro's and con's to not doing it?? I have always been kind of in agreement to doing it, but now I am so upset about hurting the baby. Help!!
Following my research, I still don't have a string opinion one way or another. There are so many factors that comes with having a penis that I will never truly understand and so I left the ultimate decision to DH with DS. He said yes, and that was that. We're having a girl this time around, but if it was a boy, I'd think we would still do it again. When DS was born, the intactivism movement was not really a thing. I'm all for informed healthcare decisions one way or another.
That was my thinking completely. I'm inttigued to see what DH ultimately chooses.
I was really interested to hear what my DH thought about it, even though he jumped right on board when I suggested maybe we shouldn't do it. His main concern was that the locker room would be a tough place if he looked different from all his peers, but with rates of circumcision declining, is that really going to be the case for a lot longer? Anymore, I'd think there's going to be plenty of other intact dudes around.
That was DH's original reason for saying he wanted it done. He was afraid some girl or peer would see DS naked as a late teen/adult and go "what's wrong with your penis?" Then he realized that penises are weird and ugly anyways, so who cares if he has the extra skin or not?
I really don't know what to do. Pro's and con's to not doing it?? I have always been kind of in agreement to doing it, but now I am so upset about hurting the baby. Help!!
I would strongly urge you to do real research on pros and cons, as those of us with an opinion likely have very strong opinions not always based on research. My decision to circumsized would be based on an anecdotal incident from my days in the nursing home and DH's preference for circumcision for cleanliness. Others feel strongly about leaving their boys intact. Do your own research from unbiased sources and reach your own decision; it's a very personal choice.
Following my research, I still don't have a string opinion one way or another. There are so many factors that comes with having a penis that I will never truly understand and so I left the ultimate decision to DH with DS. He said yes, and that was that. We're having a girl this time around, but if it was a boy, I'd think we would still do it again. When DS was born, the intactivism movement was not really a thing. I'm all for informed healthcare decisions one way or another.
That was my thinking completely. I'm inttigued to see what DH ultimately chooses.
I was really interested to hear what my DH thought about it, even though he jumped right on board when I suggested maybe we shouldn't do it. His main concern was that the locker room would be a tough place if he looked different from all his peers, but with rates of circumcision declining, is that really going to be the case for a lot longer? Anymore, I'd think there's going to be plenty of other intact dudes around.
That was DH's original reason for saying he wanted it done. He was afraid some girl or peer would see DS naked as a late teen/adult and go "what's wrong with your penis?" Then he realized that penises are weird and ugly anyways, so who cares if he has the extra skin or not?
QBF-----
Which is part of the reason we are still arguing about it. SO wants it done because of locker room teasing only, and he doesn't believe I've been with more men uncircumcised than not. (Why would I make that up???) Anyway, Medicaid doesn't cover it in Florida, and with our financial situation being what it currently is I'm not going to justify paying the $300ish to have an elective (unnecessary) surgery done to my son. If he wants it to happen when he's older, then it's up to him imo.
I really don't know what to do. Pro's and con's to not doing it?? I have always been kind of in agreement to doing it, but now I am so upset about hurting the baby. Help!!
I would strongly urge you to do real research on pros and cons, as those of us with an opinion likely have very strong opinions not always based on research. My decision to circumsized would be based on an anecdotal incident from my days in the nursing home and DH's preference for circumcision for cleanliness. Others feel strongly about leaving their boys intact. Do your own research from unbiased sources and reach your own decision; it's a very personal choice.
Thanks. I will do a bunch of research. I was just curious about people's experiences with not doing it.
I really don't know what to do. Pro's and con's to not doing it?? I have always been kind of in agreement to doing it, but now I am so upset about hurting the baby. Help!!
I would strongly urge you to do real research on pros and cons, as those of us with an opinion likely have very strong opinions not always based on research. My decision to circumsized would be based on an anecdotal incident from my days in the nursing home and DH's preference for circumcision for cleanliness. Others feel strongly about leaving their boys intact. Do your own research from unbiased sources and reach your own decision; it's a very personal choice.
Thanks. I will do a bunch of research. I was just curious about people's experiences with not doing it.
I agree with @fbanke42 that penises look weird circ'd or not. My only real reasoning for being pro-circumcision is that an 80-year-old man I once cared for had to have the procedure done because he no longer took care of himself and refused any help with hygiene. He had the surgery and, because of his age and other medical conditions, ended up getting an infection that killed him. Obviously, this is both anecdotal and unlikely, but it horrified me enough to solidify my feelings on the subject.
I really don't know what to do. Pro's and con's to not doing it?? I have always been kind of in agreement to doing it, but now I am so upset about hurting the baby. Help!!
I would strongly urge you to do real research on pros and cons, as those of us with an opinion likely have very strong opinions not always based on research. My decision to circumsized would be based on an anecdotal incident from my days in the nursing home and DH's preference for circumcision for cleanliness. Others feel strongly about leaving their boys intact. Do your own research from unbiased sources and reach your own decision; it's a very personal choice.
Thanks. I will do a bunch of research. I was just curious about people's experiences with not doing it.
I agree with @fbanke42 that penises look weird circ'd or not. My only real reasoning for being pro-circumcision is that an 80-year-old man I once cared for had to have the procedure done because he no longer took care of himself and refused any help with hygiene. He had the surgery and, because of his age and other medical conditions, ended up getting an infection that killed him. Obviously, this is both anecdotal and unlikely, but it horrified me enough to solidify my feelings on the subject.
I thought it was ironic that DH was afraid of the teasing, when it's really obvious that the person who did his circumcision did a terrible job. I didn't notice it until he pointed it out, because, well, I really don't pay much attention to how penises look because they're just weird and ugly looking to begin with. Not that vaginas are pretty either. At least everyone has ugly genitals!
Following my research, I still don't have a string opinion one way or another. There are so many factors that comes with having a penis that I will never truly understand and so I left the ultimate decision to DH with DS. He said yes, and that was that. We're having a girl this time around, but if it was a boy, I'd think we would still do it again. When DS was born, the intactivism movement was not really a thing. I'm all for informed healthcare decisions one way or another.
so much this. i didn't really want to do it because i didn't really see the purpose. my SO was really adamant that we do it though, for hygiene sake. so i caved & agreed.
We're Jewish, so he will have a bris a week after birth. For DS we had 50 ish people at our temple. This one will be smaller and at my mom's house. Same person will do it. It is a religious ceremony, but he is a doctor. He actually delivered my brother.
The "teasing" thing always strikes me as odd...how often are boys completely naked together in the locker room? (Serious question.) I cannot recall even a single time in my youth when I was completely naked in the women's locker room. The worry about a sexual partner's reaction makes more sense to me, but seems like a bad reason to make a decision like this... First because what kind of person chooses their life partner/judges their current partner on the circ criteria? And second because, while I don't know the stats, I'm positive the numbers of circs are down. I don't personally know anyone who has had it done to their child, and my past partners were both circ and not (DH is not).
As for hygiene, definitely do your research. This part has more to it, but is not a concern for a man who does the minimum of washing himself.
I gave the issue to my husband to research and decide and he's decided we won't! I don't have a strong opinion either way and I think it was good for him to get a project to research and a decision to make.
This is actually something we discussed before we ever started trying to get pregnant, though it turns out we're having a girl. My own thoughts were pretty conflicted; I would worry about violating my child's bodily autonomy unnecessarily (that's the reason that I won't get my daughter's ears pierced until she's old enough to weigh her options and make her own decision). At the same time there are so many factors that go beyond just the cosmetics of it, and as a parent it'll be my job to make some decisions on behalf my child, even if they do permanently and irreversibly affect that child's body and/or health. Ultimately I left it to my husband... as prior posters have said, he's the one who's actually got experience with that particular configuration, so to speak, so he'll be a much better judge of the potential risks and benefits than I will.
Since this is our second son, it's not new territory. I remember a lot of research and discussions about it with our first though. I let DH make the final call and we ended up circumcising. I probably was leaning more towards not, but there are arguments for both and I didn't feel strongly either way.
We have discussed and cannot seem to come to an agreement. Very frustrating!
DH and I argued about it until after DS was born. The lactation consultant is actually the person who changed his mind about the entire thing. The best thing you can do is to have each of you write out the pros and cons, share with each other, and then take out any of the pros and cons that are just plain silly.
I'm happy to report that I won this argument! I mean he finally acknowledged how important this was to me and relented... I'm so happy my baby boy will be intact!
I'm happy to report that I won this argument! I mean he finally acknowledged how important this was to me and relented... I'm so happy my baby boy will be intact!
I'm happy to report that I won this argument! I mean he finally acknowledged how important this was to me and relented... I'm so happy my baby boy will be intact!
What finally won him over?
Um money... Medicaid doesn't cover it. And he doesn't feel as strongly about it as he initially did when I brought it up. Usually if I really care about something he backs off. I do try to be fair and let a lot of things go that really aren't important for balance, like the Vitamin K shot, and we are going to do the Hep B vaccine, but delaying until the two month round instead of the first bought at birth. (Things he cared about) I'm still not in favor of the Hep B happening, but it is apparently state law to have it before starting VPK in Florida...
I'm happy to report that I won this argument! I mean he finally acknowledged how important this was to me and relented... I'm so happy my baby boy will be intact!
What finally won him over?
Um money... Medicaid doesn't cover it. And he doesn't feel as strongly about it as he initially did when I brought it up. Usually if I really care about something he backs off. I do try to be fair and let a lot of things go that really aren't important for balance, like the Vitamin K shot, and we are going to do the Hep B vaccine, but delaying until the two month round instead of the first bought at birth. (Things he cared about) I'm still not in favor of the Hep B happening, but it is apparently state law to have it before starting VPK in Florida...
Sorry, not trying to change the subject lol.
They give the babies shots right away? Is this something I should know about?
I'm happy to report that I won this argument! I mean he finally acknowledged how important this was to me and relented... I'm so happy my baby boy will be intact!
What finally won him over?
Um money... Medicaid doesn't cover it. And he doesn't feel as strongly about it as he initially did when I brought it up. Usually if I really care about something he backs off. I do try to be fair and let a lot of things go that really aren't important for balance, like the Vitamin K shot, and we are going to do the Hep B vaccine, but delaying until the two month round instead of the first bought at birth. (Things he cared about) I'm still not in favor of the Hep B happening, but it is apparently state law to have it before starting VPK in Florida...
Sorry, not trying to change the subject lol.
They give the babies shots right away? Is this something I should know about?
Check your state guidelines, but from what I've read they give those two shots within the first day (first few hours really) of life. I'm also electing to hold off on the antibiotic eye ointment for as long as I can, but legally it has to happen within the hour
We need a new thread on the topic of all these after-birth procedures.... They're next on my self-education list (geez, so much to study/learn/decide when ya procreate).
My midwife hinted that (at least at my hospital) the eye ointment could be declined. A quick Google search and I found something from the Canadian Pediatric Society recommending it not be routinely used anymore (Canadians, is this CPS legit?). Anyway, much more research to be done.
I'm happy to report that I won this argument! I mean he finally acknowledged how important this was to me and relented... I'm so happy my baby boy will be intact!
What finally won him over?
Um money... Medicaid doesn't cover it. And he doesn't feel as strongly about it as he initially did when I brought it up. Usually if I really care about something he backs off. I do try to be fair and let a lot of things go that really aren't important for balance, like the Vitamin K shot, and we are going to do the Hep B vaccine, but delaying until the two month round instead of the first bought at birth. (Things he cared about) I'm still not in favor of the Hep B happening, but it is apparently state law to have it before starting VPK in Florida...
Sorry, not trying to change the subject lol.
They give the babies shots right away? Is this something I should know about?
Check your state guidelines, but from what I've read they give those two shots within the first day (first few hours really) of life. I'm also electing to hold off on the antibiotic eye ointment for as long as I can, but legally it has to happen within the hour
----QBF---- It's good to know that some states don't allow you to decline. I'm pro-vaccination but DH is allergic to erythromycin, so that's the one thing I questioned as far as standards for newborns. It's on my list of things to ask about at my next appointment.
We need a new thread on the topic of all these after-birth procedures.... They're next on my self-education list (geez, so much to study/learn/decide when ya procreate).
My midwife hinted that (at least at my hospital) the eye ointment could be declined. A quick Google search and I found something from the Canadian Pediatric Society recommending it not be routinely used anymore (Canadians, is this CPS legit?). Anyway, much more research to be done.
Yes a thread on this would be helpful! Eye ointment? What?!
Circumcision is clearly not a black/white discussion since many people have their own personal preferences.
For us, given DH was circumcised as a baby, it was a non-issue and the discussion was "what do you think?" and he said "well obviously."
If you're still on the fence, do keep in mind that uncircumcised penises require a bit more cleaning and training your boy to keep it clean and sanitary.
For me personally, having dated a guy in the past who wasn't circumcised, there is no way I'd let the idea of not circumcising our child be a discussion without some protest. The ex's hygiene on a sweaty day "down there" was sometimes nauseating to the point that I was like "......NOPE."
Since this thread I've been thinking about it quite a bit and MH is absolutely against it and I'm not about to get into a big fight over it. He has read so many reasons not to have it done and well, I can't really find enough reasons other than hygiene for having it done. I messaged my OB to see what she says and if she has an opinion on it and I'm also going to ask our pediatrician about it too. Maybe once he sees their professional opinion it "might" change his mind.
Do people get circumcised later in life and does it hurt worse?
Circumcision is clearly not a black/white discussion since many people have their own personal preferences.
For us, given DH was circumcised as a baby, it was a non-issue and the discussion was "what do you think?" and he said "well obviously."
If you're still on the fence, do keep in mind that uncircumcised penises require a bit more cleaning and training your boy to keep it clean and sanitary.
For me personally, having dated a guy in the past who wasn't circumcised, there is no way I'd let the idea of not circumcising our child be a discussion without some protest. The ex's hygiene on a sweaty day "down there" was sometimes nauseating to the point that I was like "......NOPE."
This isn't true... That's an old wives tale. Now training to keep it clean and sanitary come later (between the ages of 4-10 for most boys) when the foreskin naturally starts to pull back on its own. Most people have no idea how to care for uncircumcised boys, and forcefully pull back the foreskin to "clean it." What you're actually doing is causing the skin to unnaturally separate (polite term for ripping flesh) from where it is meant to be, and disrupting the natural cleaning process.
Care for intact boys could also be its own thread, with lots of back and forth and different information, but the best way my friend's pediatrician put it to her was "If you wouldn't consider pulling up what's referred to as the hood of the clitoris for cleaning purposes of a girl, why would you find it necessary to do that to a boy?" And soap/baby wipes irritate that sensitive area immensely...
As I said earlier, I've been in relationships with several men who were intact, and only one of them had hygiene issues, but it wasn't because of that, he legit rarely bathed. (Yes I know, I've made bad choices in my life, don't judge. I'm doing better now :P)
Circumcision is clearly not a black/white discussion since many people have their own personal preferences.
For us, given DH was circumcised as a baby, it was a non-issue and the discussion was "what do you think?" and he said "well obviously."
If you're still on the fence, do keep in mind that uncircumcised penises require a bit more cleaning and training your boy to keep it clean and sanitary.
For me personally, having dated a guy in the past who wasn't circumcised, there is no way I'd let the idea of not circumcising our child be a discussion without some protest. The ex's hygiene on a sweaty day "down there" was sometimes nauseating to the point that I was like "......NOPE."
This isn't true... That's an old wives tale. Now training to keep it clean and sanitary come later (between the ages of 4-10 for most boys) when the foreskin naturally starts to pull back on its own. Most people have no idea how to care for uncircumcised boys, and forcefully pull back the foreskin to "clean it." What you're actually doing is causing the skin to unnaturally separate (polite term for ripping flesh) from where it is meant to be, and disrupting the natural cleaning process.
Care for intact boys could also be its own thread, with lots of back and forth and different information, but the best way my friend's pediatrician put it to her was "If you wouldn't consider pulling up what's referred to as the hood of the clitoris for cleaning purposes of a girl, why would you find it necessary to do that to a boy?" And soap/baby wipes irritate that sensitive area immensely...
As I said earlier, I've been in relationships with several men who were intact, and only one of them had hygiene issues, but it wasn't because of that, he legit rarely bathed. (Yes I know, I've made bad choices in my life, don't judge. I'm doing better now :P)
Yes, my comment was in regards to keeping it clean and sanitary later in life (post-toddler age, etc).
Circumcision is clearly not a black/white discussion since many people have their own personal preferences.
For us, given DH was circumcised as a baby, it was a non-issue and the discussion was "what do you think?" and he said "well obviously."
If you're still on the fence, do keep in mind that uncircumcised penises require a bit more cleaning and training your boy to keep it clean and sanitary.
For me personally, having dated a guy in the past who wasn't circumcised, there is no way I'd let the idea of not circumcising our child be a discussion without some protest. The ex's hygiene on a sweaty day "down there" was sometimes nauseating to the point that I was like "......NOPE."
This isn't true... That's an old wives tale. Now training to keep it clean and sanitary come later (between the ages of 4-10 for most boys) when the foreskin naturally starts to pull back on its own. Most people have no idea how to care for uncircumcised boys, and forcefully pull back the foreskin to "clean it." What you're actually doing is causing the skin to unnaturally separate (polite term for ripping flesh) from where it is meant to be, and disrupting the natural cleaning process.
Care for intact boys could also be its own thread, with lots of back and forth and different information, but the best way my friend's pediatrician put it to her was "If you wouldn't consider pulling up what's referred to as the hood of the clitoris for cleaning purposes of a girl, why would you find it necessary to do that to a boy?" And soap/baby wipes irritate that sensitive area immensely...
As I said earlier, I've been in relationships with several men who were intact, and only one of them had hygiene issues, but it wasn't because of that, he legit rarely bathed. (Yes I know, I've made bad choices in my life, don't judge. I'm doing better now :P)
Yes, my comment was in regards to keeping it clean and sanitary later in life (post-toddler age, etc).
And no judgement, we've all been there. Haha.
I was basically on my own with DS1, so I asked my older friend who had boys what she thought. She said, "When he gets older he'll have to clean it, and you know teenage boys don't clean sh*t." She's right. I can't imagine reminding my now 12 year old to clean under his foreskin.
Circumcision is clearly not a black/white discussion since many people have their own personal preferences.
For us, given DH was circumcised as a baby, it was a non-issue and the discussion was "what do you think?" and he said "well obviously."
If you're still on the fence, do keep in mind that uncircumcised penises require a bit more cleaning and training your boy to keep it clean and sanitary.
For me personally, having dated a guy in the past who wasn't circumcised, there is no way I'd let the idea of not circumcising our child be a discussion without some protest. The ex's hygiene on a sweaty day "down there" was sometimes nauseating to the point that I was like "......NOPE."
This isn't true... That's an old wives tale. Now training to keep it clean and sanitary come later (between the ages of 4-10 for most boys) when the foreskin naturally starts to pull back on its own. Most people have no idea how to care for uncircumcised boys, and forcefully pull back the foreskin to "clean it." What you're actually doing is causing the skin to unnaturally separate (polite term for ripping flesh) from where it is meant to be, and disrupting the natural cleaning process.
Care for intact boys could also be its own thread, with lots of back and forth and different information, but the best way my friend's pediatrician put it to her was "If you wouldn't consider pulling up what's referred to as the hood of the clitoris for cleaning purposes of a girl, why would you find it necessary to do that to a boy?" And soap/baby wipes irritate that sensitive area immensely...
As I said earlier, I've been in relationships with several men who were intact, and only one of them had hygiene issues, but it wasn't because of that, he legit rarely bathed. (Yes I know, I've made bad choices in my life, don't judge. I'm doing better now :P)
Yes, my comment was in regards to keeping it clean and sanitary later in life (post-toddler age, etc).
And no judgement, we've all been there. Haha.
I was basically on my own with DS1, so I asked my older friend who had boys what she thought. She said, "When he gets older he'll have to clean it, and you know teenage boys don't clean sh*t." She's right. I can't imagine reminding my now 12 year old to clean under his foreskin.
Hmm, I really dont see how this is any different than girls cleaning themselves? When I was a teen, my mom never had to remind me to clean myself. I dont see how cleaning a penis with a foreskin is anymore difficult than cleaning a vagina, what with all the crevices and folds of skin and all. Teach them (Boys and girls) how to bathe properly as children, and they will be able to clean themselves as adults.
Circumcision is clearly not a black/white discussion since many people have their own personal preferences.
For us, given DH was circumcised as a baby, it was a non-issue and the discussion was "what do you think?" and he said "well obviously."
If you're still on the fence, do keep in mind that uncircumcised penises require a bit more cleaning and training your boy to keep it clean and sanitary.
For me personally, having dated a guy in the past who wasn't circumcised, there is no way I'd let the idea of not circumcising our child be a discussion without some protest. The ex's hygiene on a sweaty day "down there" was sometimes nauseating to the point that I was like "......NOPE."
This isn't true... That's an old wives tale. Now training to keep it clean and sanitary come later (between the ages of 4-10 for most boys) when the foreskin naturally starts to pull back on its own. Most people have no idea how to care for uncircumcised boys, and forcefully pull back the foreskin to "clean it." What you're actually doing is causing the skin to unnaturally separate (polite term for ripping flesh) from where it is meant to be, and disrupting the natural cleaning process.
Care for intact boys could also be its own thread, with lots of back and forth and different information, but the best way my friend's pediatrician put it to her was "If you wouldn't consider pulling up what's referred to as the hood of the clitoris for cleaning purposes of a girl, why would you find it necessary to do that to a boy?" And soap/baby wipes irritate that sensitive area immensely...
As I said earlier, I've been in relationships with several men who were intact, and only one of them had hygiene issues, but it wasn't because of that, he legit rarely bathed. (Yes I know, I've made bad choices in my life, don't judge. I'm doing better now :P)
Yes, my comment was in regards to keeping it clean and sanitary later in life (post-toddler age, etc).
And no judgement, we've all been there. Haha.
I was basically on my own with DS1, so I asked my older friend who had boys what she thought. She said, "When he gets older he'll have to clean it, and you know teenage boys don't clean sh*t." She's right. I can't imagine reminding my now 12 year old to clean under his foreskin.
Hmm, I really dont see how this is any different than girls cleaning themselves? When I was a teen, my mom never had to remind me to clean myself. I dont see how cleaning a penis with a foreskin is anymore difficult than cleaning a vagina, what with all the crevices and folds of skin and all. Teach them (Boys and girls) how to bathe properly as children, and they will be able to clean themselves as adults.
I don't know if it's easier or harder than cleaning a vagina because I don't have one and I never dated anyone who was intact. I have to go by what the experts say and hygiene and reduced risk of infection are some of the reasons that circumcision is recommended by the CDC, the APP, and by some doctors. Like most of you, I left the final decision up to DH this time around.
This has me thinking though... if there was a similar procedure for girls that claimed to reduce the risk of yeast infections, urinary tract infections, and STDs would it be as widespread as circumcision? Maybe not because the cosmetic factor wouldn't be as much of an issue.
I've never been with an intact man.. In fact I've only been with DH and he is circumcised. I will be leaving the decision up to him, as I don't have a penis and don't know what it's like to have one. I only have anecdotal evidence from friends who are intact, some of which say they are embarrassed. I will be asking DH to do research tho, on pros and cons of circumcision.
And I definitely second the new thread about procedures after birth. FTM over here lost in the dark. So many things I don't know
@rebelone I don't know anyone who's done it, but you mind find information from men who converted to Judasim? It is a very painful procedure, and I personally don't believe it changes pain wise from being an infant to being an adult, but you would be more aware of it potentially hurting more as an adult, so it probably would. Sorry run on sentence that may not make sense?
@rebelone I don't know anyone who's done it, but you mind find information from men who converted to Judasim? It is a very painful procedure, and I personally don't believe it changes pain wise from being an infant to being an adult, but you would be more aware of it potentially hurting more as an adult, so it probably would. Sorry run on sentence that may not make sense?
My BFF's H had to have it done as an adult because of a physical abnormality that he ended up needing surgery on later in life. According to her, it hurt, and he said he would never wish that on his sons.
@rebelone I don't know anyone who's done it, but you mind find information from men who converted to Judasim? It is a very painful procedure, and I personally don't believe it changes pain wise from being an infant to being an adult, but you would be more aware of it potentially hurting more as an adult, so it probably would. Sorry run on sentence that may not make sense?
Infants are generally barely phased by the procedure; it becomes more painful as you get older. Also, risk of complications is lower in infants than in older children.
I brought up this discussion with DH last night. He was for circumcision because he is. I told them that I'm not sold on getting it done. He read the parent fact sheet from the AAP and said while he feels the intact ones look "weird" he will leave the decision up to me. Pressure is on!
I brought up this discussion with DH last night. He was for circumcision because he is. I told them that I'm not sold on getting it done. He read the parent fact sheet from the AAP and said while he feels the intact ones look "weird" he will leave the decision up to me. Pressure is on!
I brought up this discussion with DH last night. He was for circumcision because he is. I told them that I'm not sold on getting it done. He read the parent fact sheet from the AAP and said while he feels the intact ones look "weird" he will leave the decision up to me. Pressure is on!
TBH, penises look weird either way.
As do vaginas. Seriously, no two are the same.
True and true. I've been with a guy who wasn't circumcised and after the initial "oh, that's different" it was just the way he was.
In response to the person who asked about having it done later in life, I know 3 people who have had to do this (one of the reasons for my decision)... It is possible and it's a low-risk surgery. So if you did choose to leave the decision up to your boy, he would have the option.
The people I know that had it done later were age 8 (a friend's son who was getting frequent, painful UTIs), age 19 (he simply elected to when he went to college, a personal decision and I don't know of the reasons), and age 32 (for some reason sex had become very painful for him over the years, and he decided with his doctor that circumcision was the way to fix it). Of the three antecdotal experiences, it seemed the 8 year old was the only one actually affected in a big way by the procedure... I guess it's a major thing to go through at that age. The others just continued on with their lives happily after it was over.
Didn't even have to discuss with DH before being asked by my midwife, because DH and I have already discussed it before even getting pregnant. If our baby really is a boy (they're not sure because the baby moved around too much, but they're leaning towards boy), he will not be circumcised.
Re: Boy moms: have you and SO discussed circumcision yet?
I have always been kind of in agreement to doing it, but now I am so upset about hurting the baby. Help!!
That was DH's original reason for saying he wanted it done. He was afraid some girl or peer would see DS naked as a late teen/adult and go "what's wrong with your penis?" Then he realized that penises are weird and ugly anyways, so who cares if he has the extra skin or not?
QBF-----
Which is part of the reason we are still arguing about it. SO wants it done because of locker room teasing only, and he doesn't believe I've been with more men uncircumcised than not. (Why would I make that up???) Anyway, Medicaid doesn't cover it in Florida, and with our financial situation being what it currently is I'm not going to justify paying the $300ish to have an elective (unnecessary) surgery done to my son. If he wants it to happen when he's older, then it's up to him imo.
Thanks. I will do a bunch of research. I was just curious about people's experiences with not doing it.
As for hygiene, definitely do your research. This part has more to it, but is not a concern for a man who does the minimum of washing himself.
Miscarriage 3/15 at 10 weeks
BFP 7/23/15 EDD 4/3/16
Sorry, not trying to change the subject lol.
Check your state guidelines, but from what I've read they give those two shots within the first day (first few hours really) of life. I'm also electing to hold off on the antibiotic eye ointment for as long as I can, but legally it has to happen within the hour
My midwife hinted that (at least at my hospital) the eye ointment could be declined. A quick Google search and I found something from the Canadian Pediatric Society recommending it not be routinely used anymore (Canadians, is this CPS legit?). Anyway, much more research to be done.
----QBF----
It's good to know that some states don't allow you to decline. I'm pro-vaccination but DH is allergic to erythromycin, so that's the one thing I questioned as far as standards for newborns. It's on my list of things to ask about at my next appointment.
Since this thread I've been thinking about it quite a bit and MH is absolutely against it and I'm not about to get into a big fight over it. He has read so many reasons not to have it done and well, I can't really find enough reasons other than hygiene for having it done. I messaged my OB to see what she says and if she has an opinion on it and I'm also going to ask our pediatrician about it too. Maybe once he sees their professional opinion it "might" change his mind.
Do people get circumcised later in life and does it hurt worse?
It's a boy! Grow baby, grow! EDD: 4/22/2016
Care for intact boys could also be its own thread, with lots of back and forth and different information, but the best way my friend's pediatrician put it to her was "If you wouldn't consider pulling up what's referred to as the hood of the clitoris for cleaning purposes of a girl, why would you find it necessary to do that to a boy?" And soap/baby wipes irritate that sensitive area immensely...
As I said earlier, I've been in relationships with several men who were intact, and only one of them had hygiene issues, but it wasn't because of that, he legit rarely bathed. (Yes I know, I've made bad choices in my life, don't judge. I'm doing better now :P)
And no judgement, we've all been there. Haha.
This has me thinking though... if there was a similar procedure for girls that claimed to reduce the risk of yeast infections, urinary tract infections, and STDs would it be as widespread as circumcision? Maybe not because the cosmetic factor wouldn't be as much of an issue.
And I definitely second the new thread about procedures after birth. FTM over here lost in the dark. So many things I don't know
The people I know that had it done later were age 8 (a friend's son who was getting frequent, painful UTIs), age 19 (he simply elected to when he went to college, a personal decision and I don't know of the reasons), and age 32 (for some reason sex had become very painful for him over the years, and he decided with his doctor that circumcision was the way to fix it). Of the three antecdotal experiences, it seemed the 8 year old was the only one actually affected in a big way by the procedure... I guess it's a major thing to go through at that age. The others just continued on with their lives happily after it was over.