16weeks and Haven't Announced

TattoosandLace · January 2016

Anyone else keeping her pregnancy under wraps a bit longer?

I'm not sure when H and I will announce or how long we'll be able to hide it as this is our second.

Basically MIL is a giant &:&;7/!-$:&(!/8-&; and will be nasty when she finds out and H doesn't want to tell her. She lives a mile from us. I feel like if we don't tell her/the rest of his family then we can't tell anyone and I'm ready to be excited outwardly about this second blessing.

Curious if you did keep your pregnancy more quiet how far along you were before people started asking questions.

ButterMyBiscuit · January 2016

I'm 13 weeks and we've only told close friends and minimal family. I was planning on making an announcement on facebook this week but now, I don't know if I care enough to do that. With my first child, I was screaming it from the mountain tops but I realize that it's our business and we're not required to tell anyone, really. Once I start obviously showing, I'm sure there will be questions but for now, I'll just let 'em squirm.

Nerdchild · January 2016

Is it shitty of me that I would let m-i-l find out through the grape vine and ignore her calls?

ladythrice · January 2016

All our family knew pretty fast. We tell people we see in person and put a little announcement on our Christmas Cards (that we sent last week...) but I still don't count it as having "announced." Which I'm just realizing now is ridiculous lol. With DS we had a big announcement on Facebook with pictures from a cute photo session we did. I keep thinking we'll get around to doing something similar and that will be our "official" announcement but... I'm not sure we will lol. I suppose I should figure this out...

TattoosandLace · January 2016

@ButterMyBiscuit I think that's where my husband is coming from too. He's a more private person and doesn't feel it's anyone else's business. I think it's happy news and I don't mind sharing happy news. I also don't want anyone to think that we aren't sharing because we're "ashamed" (DD is 11 months old today).

Nerdchild said:
Is it shitty of me that I would let m-i-l find out through the grape vine and ignore her calls?

I love you in a non-creepy internet way! H has said a couple times that he doesn't care how MIL finds out but he's not going out of his way to tell her. As much as I want to do that, I think her backlash will be worse. Although, she did just have back surgery so it's not like she could come bang my door down if I didn't answer her calls. Is that shitty of me to say?

Y0urm0m · January 2016

This is why I'm glad I don't talk to 90% of DHs family. Everybody knows except them. DHs One set of grandparents know but they won't tell IL. I don't want them to know... EVER. Fuck em. Blocked them all on FB so they won't know. No ragrats.

Y0urm0m · January 2016

Nerdchild said:
Is it shitty of me that I would let m-i-l find out through the grape vine and ignore her calls?

Not.At.All

elenabrent · January 2016

We've told family and friends in person, but I haven't announced to extended family/friends yet. I've been waiting to announce for work until the end of January, but now I'm thinking I might hold out until we know the sex. My sister is due in late April and she's thinking she might just wait and post a picture of her baby after it's born and let that be the announcement. I kind of wish parts of our family didn't know, to be totally honest. It'd be nice to not have to deal with the opinions/feedback/nastiness from certain family members.

ButterMyBiscuit · January 2016

@TattoosandLace It's not that I don't think it's happy news - it's OUR happy news and I'm not as inclined to share that with everyone. I like that we only know for now. And another reason is that lot of my friends are struggling with infertility and I don't want to be "one more announcement" that will remind them of that. I've told the ones that are deeply important to me.

erin7264 · January 2016

We haven't made *THE* announcement... But pretty much everybody we talk to/see IRL knows. I'm 15w today and it's getting hard to miss!

TiffRox81 · January 2016

Just hit 15 weeks, and JUST told family and close friends! Don't feel bad! It's your preference!! My family was really understanding. I was a bit nervous about hurting their feelings but why?!?

TattoosandLace · January 2016

@ButterMyBiscuit that makes sense. Now that you mention it, an old coworker of H's had a pretty heavy loss a few months after our daughter was born. That could definitely be adding to his reasons to keep it close to us. He jokes that it will be fun to see who asks and who makes comments about gaining the weight, etc. and that it'd be funny to text from the hospital. I seriously doubt I can hide a pregnancy that long. Lol

Weville · January 2016

I'm 15w tomorrow and we've told only close friends and very small amount of family. My husband is ready to shout it from the rooftops but I'm enjoying it being ours for now. It's taken us five years to get to this point and I'm really enjoying it. I have told my boss who is beyond amazing about it. Her twins are three now so she keeps texting me pictures of baby gear she doesn't need anymore to find out if I want it. At some point I will have to tell the rest of my family, I imagine I'll just send a group email. I'll do an announcement when I'm holding the baby

thebigoaktree · January 2016

I couldn't wait but I did hold out until 13 weeks. However, I'm being a jerk and making everyone wait on the sex of the baby till after 20 weeks,and I don't care.

matryoshkadoll · January 2016

Last pregnancy I didn't announce until after the anatomy scan, so around 20 weeks. I don't think I told anyone before that actually. We also had our babies close together so nobody was expecting it. I was losing wait due to still breastfeeding so more people were saying how skinny I was getting.

This time I've told close friends (one knew we were trying, some others are also pregnant). Sadly I won't be doing anything on Facebook because I don't want my mom to find out until it is too late to buy plane tickets here--so probably a hospital announcement. I also don't plan on telling my boss until I have to, around March. Being winter, I've found it easy to hide so far.

I am a fairly private person and tend to feel awkward telling people. Early on it is even worse for me, like hey in almost a year I will have a baby and this in no way affects you until then probably!

Obviously every person and every relationship is different so do what feels right!

trucksntutus · January 2016

I just announced it on FB at 15 weeks, and my family/close friends at 12 weeks. No worries, it's up to you when you decide to spill the beans.

fantasticmrsfox · January 2016

We have told all family and very close friends, but other than that we are just telling people as we see them. We won't do a FB announcement (maybe when we find out sex) so out of town friends have no idea.

I don't know if it's PGAL brain or what, but I don't feel like shouting it from the rooftops like with DS. Not because I'm less excited, but because it's kind of nice to just keep it low key.

AshGee18 · January 2016

It's totally your preference. We told a few very close friends before anyone else because we see them almost daily as they live around the corner and kept and asking why I wasn't drinking wine or what not. So we felt guilty that they knew and our parents didn't and then the parents found out lol. But we kept it secret from the rest of the world until after our 12 week ultrasound appointment. My work now knows as I haven't been able to hide my belly/blump. We are 14.5 weeks. But as everyone has said. It's your baby/body/choice as to when you announce. Don't over think it too much.

TattoosandLace · January 2016

I'm a SAHM, so it isn't like work has to find out. Honestly, I don't want to deal with MIL's bitchyness when she finds out. I'm the secretary of a community club and we put on a big Fourth of July event. I'm due June 29th, so I thought about just sliding it in during a meeting to not count me in for helping much.

She's in the same club though. She couldn't get too mean in front of the older ladies though..right? Lol

The longer I sit with it, the more okay I am with going along with what H wants and not saying anything.

tennisbabymama · January 2016

I've really enjoyed it being our little secret. Immediate family now knows but I'm not in a hurry to announce it to the world quite yet. I am close with my cousins and will be seeing them in a couple weeks so I would like to tell them in person first. We also find out the sex that same week so probably shortly after that I will make an announcement on fb. We will see! I don't feel inclined to just yet.

Y0urm0m · January 2016

@TattoosandLace is there any chance you are going to be seeing her anytime before you deliver?

TattoosandLace · January 2016

Y0urm0m said:
@TattoosandLace is there any chance you are going to be seeing her anytime before you deliver?

She lives a mile away from us. We're all on H's family farm.

Y0urm0m · January 2016

@TattoosandLace eeek! How are you planning on hiding the bump?

PhoebeJune1984 · January 2016

I am 12w1d, and I just told my immediate family on Saturday. The only reason I told them, was because we were all going snowshoeing and I was feeling queasy, and we wanted to tell DD (which we did the night before), and knew that she would eventually spill the beans. Luckily, I felt fine while snowshoeing, probably because of the fresh air. My IL's have known since I was about 6 weeks. If I could have had it my way, I would have loved if we could have just told IL's and DD, and left it at that for awhile longer (until around 16-20 weeks). We have no plans to announce it on social media. The funny thing is that when we told my family, we were met with a bunch of "I thought you looked pregnant!" and "We were just talking about how we thought you were pregnant!" comments. Except I have been acting the same, I look the same, and there is no way they could have known. Its like they didn't know what to say, so they came up with stupid "I knew it!" comments.

I guess if you don't like your MIL that much, and YH has no intention of telling her, I would just wait until she saw you and asked if you were pregnant. If MH didn't want to tell his mom about the pregnancy, and she asked me later when she saw me, I would say yes and then just mention that I told MH to tell her when he was ready. Really, its not your responsibility to tell HIS mom. And if he isn't ready to tell her, then he isn't ready. But he needs to be prepared for the reaction when she does find out.

crixiegirl · January 2016

I haven't announced publicly. I'm telling my boss (principal and vp) on Thursday (13w), but not announcing to the rest of the staff until mid February before break. Right now only my sisters, best friends and a few coworkers know. Just don't have the urge to tell anyone really.

PhoebeJune1984 · January 2016

ButterMyBiscuit said:

I'm 13 weeks and we've only told close friends and minimal family. I was planning on making an announcement on facebook this week but now, I don't know if I care enough to do that. With my first child, I was screaming it from the mountain tops but I realize that it's our business and we're not required to tell anyone, really. Once I start obviously showing, I'm sure there will be questions but for now, I'll just let 'em squirm.

@ButterMyBiscuit I am the same way this pregnancy! Our first, we told family at 5 weeks, friends at 9-10 weeks, and the internet world at 11 weeks. I posted belly pictures online, we had professional pregnancy announcement pictures taken, and everything was baby, baby, baby. This one, the opposite. I don't feel the need to tell anyone really. I enjoyed it being a secret between MH, IL's and I. We have no intentions to do any pregnancy announcement pictures, or post on social media about it, etc. We didn't tell IL's until 6 weeks, and my immediate family until 12 weeks. I am just kind of "whatever" when it comes to telling people. My friend was the same way when she had her two kids, really open with the first, and more private with the second.

Racso12 · January 2016

I will be 15 weeks on Wednesday and we have only told our parents, siblings and a very small handful of friends. My mom is upset we haven't made it officially public, because she wants to do her own announcement on fb. Oh well.

PhoebeJune1984 · January 2016

Racso12 said:

I will be 15 weeks on Wednesday and we have only told our parents, siblings and a very small handful of friends. My mom is upset we haven't made it officially public, because she wants to do her own announcement on fb. Oh well.

My mom is the same way. I just got (another) text from her, asking me to let her know when she can start telling people and post on FB about it. We JUST told her Saturday afternoon. I get that she is excited, but it is our news to share. And if we don't want to put it on FB, that means we don't want others making the announcement or talking about it on FB either. I have a feeling this is going to be a long pregnancy...now that she knows. And she was the one that I wanted to tell the LEAST (well, her, my sister, my aunt and my grandma).

juliagulia38 · January 2016

I told family and friend immediately. I can't keep pregnancy a secret. In your case, I wouldn't tell her and she can figure it out in a couple weeks when you start showing. DH told all his family, I wasn't the one to tell them. And if your DH doesn't want to tell his mom, then don't. I don't see anything wrong with that.

ESchreinerWrites · January 2016

With my first preg, we didn't tell anyone until he was born. I'm heavy set and long waisred so I didn't really look CLEARLY pregnant. People were understandably surprised.

With this, I'm 12w 5d and haven't told. Are going to wait a bit longer.

kayham12 · January 2016

We haven't really announced to anyone but immediate family and I'm like whatever. I have a cute announcement, but eh. I'm a high school basketball coach/high school teacher/cheer sponsor so I'm really busy and just don't care who knows.

DobbysSock · January 2016

Nerdchild said:

Is it shitty of me that I would let m-i-l find out through the grape vine and ignore her calls?

@TattoosandLace, this is what I would do!! She made her own bed being a bag to you guys in the past - she has no right to get angry at her son for not sharing exciting news with her now, given her past behaviour. And when/if she does get angry, well, she can just sit alone in her house being angry and bitter while you're happily living your life.

I really hope when/if you guys are ready you'll just announce it however you want to the people you love/who love you, and enjoy it. This pregnancy is exciting and you deserve to enjoy it however you want! I would actually tinker with my Facebook settings (if you announce on there) so that you share the post with everyone but her (and anyone else that will react like you anticipate she will). That way they can't comment on it with any negative bullshit.

If you MUST - you could send her an email telling her before you announce it, that way you can just ignore whatever response she sends back (or ask her in the email not to respond unless she has something nice to say)

realhousewife519 · January 2016

What is with family being obsessed with making their own facebook announcements!? We told family at 13w but asked them not to tell others until we were ready (we were thinking around 16w). We explicitly asked everybody to keep it off facebook! Everyone ignored us and made facebook announcements anyways, which we had them take down. We had not even told work or closest friends yet. So we ended up giving in and announcing to friends earlier since the cat was already out of the bag. I find it so frustrating (but kind of funny) that my parents are way more concerned with FB than me or my husband. Good thing we waited until 13w to tell them!

xc1148 · January 2016

I never "announced" with my first, I just told family/friends and my boss, and then people notice the giant belly at some point

Do what you want, but one thing I would caution is to not NOT announce just because of your MIL. I've learned that you can't go around trying to please miserable people. If she is the only thing holding you back, don't let her control such a happy moment. If you just feel like keeping it between you and your hubby, that's fine. We did that and I find it really special/romantic.

And as I told someone else on this BMB....just tell her it's triplets

qtwbutie99 · January 2016

I'm 15 weeks. Only told immediate family and my boss. Wearing bigger clothes so people don't see my bump. This is also my second. Probably will announce on Facebook after we find out what the baby is.

stillcozy · January 2016

We announced but I got lucky with respectful family members if I had situations like many of the women here I would iet those family members know when they meet the baby after its born!

whataboutscience · January 2016

We're 11 weeks and have only told my sister. She's the only one we trust to keep a secret. We're planning on telling family and close friends over the weekend and sharing with everyone by next week probably. Last time my MIL and her mother somehow spread it to everyone in their extended family when I was clear it was a secret still and it ended up on Facebook. I was really mad. I think she means well, but she is last to find out this time and after that we don't care who hears it.

PugsandKisses · January 2016

Not FB official yet. Not sure when I will make that announcement. I am not in any hurry though.

ellou05 · January 2016

I'm 14 weeks tomorrow and we have told our parents, siblings, and a handful of close friends. I thought I was getting an ultrasound at my next appt and I would tell a larger group after that (I always want some reassurance that she's still in there...) But now I am thinking tomorrow I just see the doc and no ultrasound.. Not sure . my last US was at 10 weeks, anyone have an inclination as to whether I'd get one at 14 too? Anyway... I'm not doing a Facebook announcement or anything. I'm actually not a private person at all usually, but this pregnancy thing is just awkward to me .

PinkLady2015 · January 2016

Family knows, still have some friends that I want to tell in person. Two co-workers know but that's all. I'm waiting to announce at work because things are a bit up in the air about my grant being renewed, so I'm staying off FB just in case things slip through the grape vine. I think it's totally fine with whatever you're comfortable with. Wanna tell the world when you get your BFP, go for it, wanna wait til you're baby is a month old, sounds good to me!!!! I don't think you should feel pressure or be worries about offending someone.... It's your baby!

whataboutscience · January 2016

@ellou05 They might do an U/S for the NT scan, but it might be a little late for that. My office I think wants to see you when you are 13 weeks and does a routine u/s for everyone. My office does more u/s than average though. I think there are 5?

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