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Garfield12
member
Please help me- TW mentions current loss
Garfield12
member
Intro.. Hi everyone my story. I was 12 weeks when my waters broke and I lost my little pickle. On the 7th December I had a medical miscarriage and passed everything including pickle. Twelve days later I was back up sau with heavy bleeding, had a scan turns out I didn't pass everything and was told to pass naturally. Two weeks later I was back with a suspected infection and was given nothing and told to go home. On the Friday I went to the doctors and he told me I had an infection and needed antibiotics. Here is where I need your help from the 30th of December to the 4th I was having ewcm but still bleeding slightly me and my Oh dtd until the following Tuesday. Then I started Hemorrhaging on the Wednesday and after taking the antibiotics it's stopped but today I have been spotting when I wipe but have ewcm again can anyone help me? I really though we had ovulated on the Sunday.I just want to be a mum again.. Thank you
Re: Please help me- TW mentions current loss
Also, if you were bleeding and on antibiotics for an infection it probably wasn't wise to have sex.
LFAF April Siggy: TV/Movie BFFs
BFP #4 1/2016, DD born 10/2016
For clarifications sake....
- You miscarried at 12 weeks
- Your doctor advised you to pass everything naturally
- You had sex in the cycle following your miscarriage
Did your doctor clear you to try again after being almost done with your first trimester?I think you should spend some time lurking around the boarding and educating yourself on how your cycles work. I know things can be off following a miscarriage and your timeline confuses me. The only true way to confirm ovulation is through temping. You can get multiple patches of ewcm all throughout your cycle.
Also, I wouldn't be having sex while still bleeding from a miscarriage.
Regardless, you should probably put a trigger warning on the subject line of your post, since it pretty vividly describes your miscarriage and might be upsetting to people who have recently also had miscarriages (such as myself) and were not expecting to read this.
2010: Infertility
October 2015: missed miscarriage #2 at 11 weeks (trisomy 22)
Were you temping to confirm ovulation? Without that there is no way to know if you did ovulate at the end of December/beginning of January. You can also have EWCM at times when you're not ovulating, and after a MC it can take some time for your body to regulate itself.
Did your doctor give you ok to have sex? I would strongly encourage you to get professional go-ahead before you start TTC again, especially if you were still bleeding and on antibiotics.
LFAF April Siggy Challenge - TV/Movie BFFS - Romy & Michele
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019I am sorry for your loss, but the only way to confirm ovulation, without an ultrasound, is by tracking your BBT. We cannot tell you if you have ovulated, if that is your question.
DS1 -- 9/30/2016
DS1 -- 9/30/2016
DS1 -- 9/30/2016
LFAF April Siggy: TV/Movie BFFs
BFP #4 1/2016, DD born 10/2016
2010: Infertility
October 2015: missed miscarriage #2 at 11 weeks (trisomy 22)
But you're right, it's better to stick to your doctor than internet strangers for medical advice.
LFAF April Siggy: TV/Movie BFFs
BFP #4 1/2016, DD born 10/2016
Second, you NEED to wait to have sex until you have the medical clearance from your OB. You had a major, traumatic life event. Damage to your reproductive organs (the miscarriage leaves holes in your uterine wall and you are bleeding internally) needs time to heal and you can introduce bacteria to the area. This can lead to serious infection that could result in loss of fertility or sepsis. Its very serious business to wait. That is why medical standard is at least 6 weeks with nothing in the vagina following miscarriages and birth. Please contact your OB and tell them everything. They will need to make sure that you aren't experiencing a major infection or other abnormality that could put your health further at risk.
Third, I'm not unfeeling for your situation. Grief is a horrible horrible bastard. It can make your judgment suspect and make you do things that you normally wouldn't do if you had all your faculties at your disposal. I'm not chastising you to be mean, but as a sincere concern for your health and well-being.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Every single person on this post was trying to help you by giving factual information on menstrual cycles, ovulation and pregnancy. No one said anything unkind or tried to make you feel stupid.
2010: Infertility
October 2015: missed miscarriage #2 at 11 weeks (trisomy 22)
I'm sorry OP, the very first thing I said to you was that I was sorry for your loss, as did almost everyone else that responded. Then we pointed out that your lack of using a trigger warning (TW) is inconsiderate and hurtful to other loss moms, since they, too, exist on this board. We also pointed out things you didn't realize about your cycle.
No one was being mean or unsupportive. If you chose to read it that way, it's on you.
Truth is that support is a two way street. To my knowledge you have not provided any support to this community so far, yet you are pleading that we help and support you. That's not how it works.
Age, confusion, loss and feeling like your world is caving in are part of life. It does not excuse you from taking care of yourself and making better decisions for yourself. You need to advocate for yourself. I know you hair-flipped and think we are being mean @garfield12 . I promise you that I'm not at all trying to post here with malicious intent towards you or to "make you feel stupid".
It is painfully obvious that your doctor failed to give you vital information. You are young and so not versed in being an advocate for yourself, medically. You need to stop having unprotected sex for at least a cycle and educate yourself on post-loss self-care and perhaps see a mental health professional. This is all part of Loss Mom 101.
We can't make you feel anything. You need to accept responsibility and understand what you are doing is irresponsible, wrong and dangerous. Full stop. I have empathy for you but I will not be preached at or made to feel that somehow I am in the wrong for trying to help you. Which I am. Its just with a little tough love.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
DS1 -- 9/30/2016
If you have a gene for hyper-ovulation (such as being the female of a fraternal set of twins like me. I'm also the offspring of a twin) then it is possible to ovulate twice. However, its incredibly unlikely . Even folks that have a history of twins and possibly having this gene usually only ovulate once. You can have some bleeding post ovulation (egg being released from the follicle), but its not at all like a period. Its usually scant spotting that is brown or light pink.
You said "any suggestions would be useful"-- my suggestion is to stop TTC until you stop bleeding from your miscarriage. I'm not sure I believe you that your doctor didn't give you the medical standard after passing a fetus which is 6 weeks with NOTHING in the vagina. Not tampons, not penises, nothing. You have an injury to your uterine wall.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
You should call your doc. That being said, it's possible that your bleeding is still the MC. With my MC, I bled for a month and a half, and I'm still spotting (which my doc said was normal). Has your doc followed your HCG to 0 and done another u/s to ensure everything has passed? Keep in mind hormones can get wacky after a MC, so guessing at ovulation based on CM is likely even less accurate than normal.
Best of luck to you. Feel free to stay and learn the ropes. There is lots of support to be had here if you give it to others and follow the simple standards of conduct.
Me: 33 H: 36
Married: 12/14/13 DS: 1/29/09
BFP2: 10/9/15 MMC: 11/12/15
BFP3: 4/6/16 DD: 12/12/16
EWCM does not mean you ovulated. It can occur randomly at any point in your cycle. If you are suffering from an infection, that can cause discharge / an apparent change the consistency of CM. The only true way to know you ovulated is temping or an ultrasound. Also I agree with PPs that you need to confirm with your doctor that it is safe to start TTC again especially with an infection.
I know the uncertainly after MC is really shitty, so I feel for you. Temping is great for feeling like you sort of know what's going on. You might consider trying it. Best of luck.
Me: 33 H: 36
Married: 12/14/13 DS: 1/29/09
BFP2: 10/9/15 MMC: 11/12/15
BFP3: 4/6/16 DD: 12/12/16
Thank you.
I know that when you feel like wanting to be a mom, it is difficult to put it on the backburner, especially in order to take care of yourself. I had been TTC for nine or ten months (?) When I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and I had to put TTC on hold to wait for surgery, hormone replacement meds to level out and tests that said 'remission'. I remember actively begging my husband to just keep going forward with TTC anyway, and that I could "get the cancer taken out after a baby, it was a slow growing cancer anyway!!!!" . at the time I called him unsupportive and every name imaginable for not helping me to put TTC first. Looking back, he did the right thing and now I'm cancer free and TTC. I KNOW that this cannot compare to a loss .... I can't Imagine what you've been through... But when I read about how you are risking your own health and well being for the sake of beginning to TTC again, I can't help but think of this time during my life and I share because I hope it helps you feel less alone. Somtimes we hit road blocks and stop signs and switch back curves... It sucks. I'm sorrry your going through this and urge you to stay and become a part of the community! I understand that your feeling a little out of control right now and desperate. I've felt that. comradary helps. Anyway, take care of yourself, please. Best of luck.
Married May 2014
TTC Nov 2014-Aug 2016
Aug 2015 Dx: Thyroid Cancer and Hashimotos
Total Thyroidectomy October 2015
Ovarian Cystectomy Nov 2015
CANCER FREE and resumed TTC Dec 2015.
I've been to the doctors today and even they can't tell me what's going on with me. He just gave me very vague answers to my questions, I feel like im going crazy my Oh has just switched off. I know I ovulated either the Sunday or Monday 3Rd or 4th of January. But was still spotting from previous mc,went for examination and was told that my cervix was closed and bleeding would stop. On the thurdsay started to bleed very heavily until Friday when I was given antibiotics. Bleeding stopped after one day and started to spot on the Saturday and then this Sunday had a sharp shooting pain in my lower abdomen for a second and one lot of brown red bleeding, yesterday had more ewcm with slight spotting. And then nothing today at all. I think I can test next week. But been having the same symptoms that I had with pickle so I'm just waiting. Any advice or ideas what's happening would be helpful. Because the doctor can't even help me. X
Anyway, if your doctor is not satisfactorily answering your questions, you need a new doctor. Or maybe you are not being clear with him. Did you tell him that you are still confused?
2010: Infertility
October 2015: missed miscarriage #2 at 11 weeks (trisomy 22)
2010: Infertility
October 2015: missed miscarriage #2 at 11 weeks (trisomy 22)
Lurker from another board here. I don't want to butt in, OP, but I wanted to say I have been in your situation, and I think the best thing I did for my body and mind was to wait, even when that seemed like the hardest thing to do. I had an MMC at 10 weeks in May of last year, and I bled for a full month after. I bled initially, then it stopped, then I'd bleed again...Heavily, on and off, with tennis ball sized clots. For a whole month. My Dr said she hadn't seen my situation before and didn't have much to tell me, either. So I waited. As much as I wanted another baby right away, I waited for my body to heal, which in turn healed my mind.
Like a PP said, your body goes into all sorts of screwy modes after miscarriage or birth, and may be unpredictable. Before my MC, I had 28 day cycles, perfectly time-able, and bled for almost exactly 3 days each time. So it was hard and frustrating to figure out this post-MC body that couldn't be mine, but was. I can't imagine having to try and maneuver possible early pregnancy while dealing with excess bleeding and infection.
Waiting until your cycle gets back to normal again may help bring more clarity and peace to your TTC journey...even though I recognize waiting for a baby can be the hardest thing after loss!
2010: Infertility
October 2015: missed miscarriage #2 at 11 weeks (trisomy 22)