Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
ashleighjade90
member
I come to bed early everynight and lay on my own thinking about wanting this to be over. I judt want to meet my little boy now I want it all to seem worth it. I've also finished for maternity so finding it hard to get out of bed in a morning and need some motivation 
Re: LOW MOOD
Not wanting to get out of bed can be either too. Is bed just comfy and warm or is it a feeling of wanting to avoid life?
I think there are plenty of things that you have talked about that compounded mean you need to see a mental health professional and get their assistance. We are just ladies on the Internet...
*Kate*
February 2016
I wake up in the morning and when my partner goes to work I lay and think what is the point in me getting up ive got absolutely nothing to get up for with me not been at work now. I've worked full time since I've been 16 and I know I'm only 25 but I've never had time off work I've been off nearly 3 weeks now and it's driving me insane.
I feel like I've got no particular purpose at the moment and feel completely ready for my little man to be here.
Internet strangers cannot help you at this point.
You're not working, make any appointment as early this week as possible.
That is my biggest worry!!!
It's just an unreal feeling going from been needed to then feeling like I don't even exist!
You've said in your post that you're excited to meet your baby, so I don't think anyone will be worried about that. Depression is common during pregnancy, think of all the other ways hormones affect your body! Your doctor won't judge you.
I definitely think you need to find a professional to talk too... no matter what they "may think of you". All of these emotions get stronger and more difficult once baby arrives.... not less. And goodness u sure don't want to experience major post partum depression.
In terms of your feeling of a lack of purpose, I think it's totally natural going from a workplace to nothing. I was ill a while ago and couldn't work and this was a real problem because I still needed to *do* something. I found making appointments (or coffee dates, shopping dates etc) to get me out of the house and small, manageable goals for the day (even "have a shower", "put on clothes", "buy some milk or bread"). Just be gentle with yourself, it's better to meet all of your goals and find more than feel overwhelmed by the goals you have in front of you. GL xo
Expecting Double Trouble, April 2016
What exactly "should" your doctors and midwives find alarming? Are you having serious health issues? The only other things that I've seen you post about is feeling embarrassed about bodily functions and feeling the need to go often, pelvic pressure, and restless legs - none of which are that big of a deal. You're going to be uncomfortable when baby drops, feeling the need to use the bathroom frequently comes with the territory of being pregnant, and restless legs are common. None of those issues are particularly alarming or serious, so if that's what you're talking about, I invite you to lurk and read some posts from women who are actually having seriously, potentially life threatening issues to gain some perspective. Not trying to be rude here - just trying to be straight and honest with you.
Keep in mind that your health care professionals are just that - the professionals. They deal with and treat pregnancy related issues on a daily basis and have been for a number of years. IMO, if there was something that was truly concerning to them, they'd address it.
That said, it's never too late to find a different practice. It'll be more difficult to find someone to take you this late in the game, but someone will. If you can't trust the people that are going to be delivering your child, then I would switch.
I also agree with what previous posters have said. It sounds like you need to bring this up with your care team and find a therapist. No one is going to question whether or not you're going to be a "good" parent - ESPECIALLY if you take it upon yourself to get help. If anything, you'll probably be praised and commended for recognizing that there's an issue and seeking help on your own. You're allowed to be depressed - you're human, and pregnancy is hard. Don't beat yourself up. Just go and do and get the help that you need.
Good luck to you, OP.
Edited for grammar.
Feeling much happier in myself and that's without seeing anyone
Thanks guys xxxx
If you do end up getting a diagnosis, or even if you just need some cheering up, there is a bump group for moms with depression you can join. There are a few regular posters on there so you will have someone to talk to about what you're going through.
I mean, I'm glad you're feeling better now... but honestly. ALL of what @imakeeff0rts said.
Although I have been doing step 1 and 2 very well. It's been a constant struggle because step 3 is not working for me as a pregnant person. I do not want to take meds as a personal choice for my baby's sake. Talking therapy isn't working for me this time because i don't really have issues to talk about. A lot of the time I just feel sad and I am not thinking anything! I too am anxiously awaiting the baby to get here.
I hope things have brightened for you. Post partum I hear can be hard too. Just know this:
Your moods do not make you a bad mom. It's hormones!
Finding a purpose goes beyond work alone. Taking care of yourself while the little one grows is also a purpose.
Keep busy! Do not let yourself lay in bed all day... it WILL make you sink further into depression.
Once the baby is out, seek help!! You may need some meds to help you get over the hump and, while breast milk is preferred, generations grew up just fine on formula or talk to your doctor about how it would affect him.
Good luck!!!
Me and my little boy are doing brilliantly. It was strange because as soon as he was here everything fell right into place and I felt like all the low moods where definitely worth it. I was quite scared of feeling like it after he was born but I've honestly not had time to feel anything other then love for my little boy. Honestly is the best thing in my life by far
Of course, people will say see a doctor or get on meds if it gets to severe. And while this is great advice, there are some things you can do for yourself that your doctor will probably neglect or not know to tell you:
take omega 3, b-12, b-6 supplements- they can help boost your mood. If your baby is taking it all, it can leave you depleted.
sit out in the sun for vitamin D and some sun therapy- read a book that relaxes you
massage and accupuncture
prayer/meditation
Most of all, give yourself a break! You do not have to be happy! It doesn't mean anything because hormones affect everyone differently and this is how it affects you. You didn't do anything wrong.
Please take care of yourself- You're almost there! You can do it!!