@mrsgillham14 Gonna have to disagree with you on that one. It' was *very* hard for me to control my irritability and snappy/bi***y remarks during my 1st pregnancy. Did I like the way I was ? Absolutely not. But hormones and how they affect us is real. It's physiological.... I think it's similar to the role that certain neurotransmitters have on certain ppl with certain mental health issues.
I do see your point in that *some* women probably really do use their hormones as a crutch, and may not try too hard to control themselves. But- I believe there are a lot of women who truly do struggle with this and don't use hormobes as an "excuse," but refer to them as a real major contributor to their behaviors.
I am willing to recant the last sentence of my original post. Reading it back again, I definitely misspoke. I completely agree that sometimes they are too strong and you do things you don't want to do. It's the people who do things and are just like "Oops. Hormones. Hehehehe." that I'm talking about. If the hormone control you, don't blame it solely on that. It's ok, in my mind, to say "I'm sorry, that was the hormones speaking, I shouldn't have said/done that"
@Kristalyn85 Agreed! And my daughter apparently also agrees. We were in the Disney store and the associates kept coming up to her and saying "Hi Princess!". After the third or fourth time, she gets this look on her face, turns to me and says "Why is everyone calling me Princess? I am not a princess!"
When you are a cast member at Disney they encourage you to do that. I remember doing that for so long... I couldn't shake the habit for a couple YEARS after I worked there. Haha.
Not that I would mind some good advice from lurkers actually, that would be most welcome. So far however all the lurkers posted when there was a controversial topic and they wanted to give an opinion, and I feel that was not necessary.
I am not saying I won't lurk, and don't mind who lurks but it irritates me when people feel the need to post when they don't really belong here. Especially when it is negative and leads to threads being closed down.
Umm *dirty lurker here*
This is a public forum and we can comment on anything we want. This isn't a secret society club to S16 moms only.
ETA - secret not security
It's not that it's a secret club, and I lurk so this might be somewhat hypocritical, but I see what she's saying. It can be frustrating when random lurkers post or when someone constantly lurks and posts but isn't a September 16 mom - @letyourheartbeyourguide that isn't really your situation, you were S16 and then really crappy and upsetting circumstances changed that. You are still familiar to the ladies here.
I don't think lurking is wrong, but I see where the irritation comes from on threads like UO last time where OP didn't even come back but the thread got closed and some of the posts were from lurkers. Like I said, lurking isn't bad but it can get frustrating, and take away from the experience, especially when they don't have advice or only add negative things.
Its a UO here-- sometimes lurkers and "outsiders" to a BMB provide desperately needed perspective to folks that may or may not have other factors clouding their judgment/responses. Also, sometimes it helps as a reminder that you never know who is reading your words and to choose them carefully. I promise (After having been through 3 BMBs) that it won't take anything away to have a random contribute to your conversations. If anything it gives you something new to chat about.
UO: Post partum is worse than a stapled-on toupee (just watched Weekend at Bernie's)
I am terrified of post partum again. Sometimes I wish I could skip the first months after having the babe. But then you miss the cute, cuddly, nursing time. Now my independent toddler won't let me even touch his feet to put his "choo" on. I just don't have clear/good memories of the first 6mos (maybe because I was scared and didn't know what the f*ck I was doing) but sure hope it's better this time around.
@Kristalyn85 Agreed! And my daughter apparently also agrees. We were in the Disney store and the associates kept coming up to her and saying "Hi Princess!". After the third or fourth time, she gets this look on her face, turns to me and says "Why is everyone calling me Princess? I am not a princess!"
When you are a cast member at Disney they encourage you to do that. I remember doing that for so long... I couldn't shake the habit for a couple YEARS after I worked there. Haha.
I figured they were asked to do that...just like how they need to see the "magic numbers" on the back of my credit card. I just thought it was funny that my 3 year old actually payed attention to what they were saying and had an opinion about it.
I'm seriously not trying to start anything...pure curiosity, but how do they greet boys? Or nothing special? Again, this just got me curious. Not trying to start something.
I lurk on other birth month boards. I want to see what's going to happen.
My UO is that I can't stand when pregnant women treat pregnancy as some secret society or some exclusive club. Maybe I'm extra sensitive because of my IF. The whole attitude of you wouldn't understand because you've never been pregnant or never had a child is heartbreaking for someone struggling. Speaking from experience, it's a fast way to lose a friend.
My top girl name choice for this LO is in the top 10 for popular names, and I don't care at all. If I love a name, I'm not going to throw it out just because a lot of other people loved it too. For me, a name being popular kind of just validates that it's a good name choice. *shrugs*
Me too! My girl name is Lillian, but will be Lily for short, and I thought I was being all unique and creative until I found out from a fellow momma friend that Lily is the new Jennifer. And MY name is Jennifer!! But I dont care! I love it and its stayin!
Hello to a fellow Jennifer! What are the chances!?!
And, after extensive research (I was a little obsessed with names when pregnant with DD), I can assure you Lily is not really the new Jennifer. Naming now is more unique and a way for parents to be creative, rather than "fit in" like it was in the past. The actual statistical instance of the name Jennifer - if I remember right, somewhere around 3.5% of girl births were named Jennifer it it's most popular years - is significantly higher than even the most popular girls' name today. (The top of the charts now is more like 1ish% of births.) In other words, the #1 name today, while still obviously popular, is not as popular as Jennifer was in, say, the early to mid 80's!
Not trying to be a know-it-all and I hope this doesn't come off this way! I just am really fascinated by naming trends! And I was determined not to name my child anything akin to the "Jennifer" of the 80's and was relieved to basically find out that's not even possible anymore!
Haha! No not a know-it-all at all Ive always strictly gone by Jennifer, never Jenny or Jen. Same with my husband who is Michael (also cray cray popular in the early 80s which we were both born in) and refuses to go by Mike. And as popular as Lily is, Lillian is not so much. But either way, it annoyed me at first that the name was so popular and I seriously think its because it is the name of Charolttes adopted baby in Sex in the City But I don't care anymore how popular the name is because Ive loved it for so long and cant think of another girl name we like as much. We are just going to be that family with super popular names I guess
@RedMar I hear you with the PPD struggles. I had it pretty rough after DD. I'm terrified it will happen again. I've tried to tell DH the signs of what to look for this time and even asked him to talk to my doctor or the pediatrician if I'm being stubborn about getting help but I'm not confident he will. I just really don't want to lose that precious time again. I hope we both can avoid PPD alltogether this go round!
I hate participation trophies. I'm not even competitive but I still think it's so dumb! Work hard=get rewarded. Our future kids are going to be such babies if they don't get recognized in the work place when they are being mediocre.
Oh I love participation trophies (for young kids). Kids only get to be little for a short time and my 4 year old would LOVE a trophy. It's a nice little confidence boost. I received participation trophies in grade school and I still eventually realized that I am terrible at sports. Now I'm in the cold hard world of adulthood and I work hard and I know that things don't come easy!
DD1 6.2011 DD2 4.2013 - vbac DS1 9.2016 - vbac, team green Baby #4 due 9.2018
I'm in the middle on trophies (you will all soon learn I'm in the middle on almost all topics)... I like the idea of participation awards but also awarding standouts in a few different areas. I remember in middle school I got an award for "best team spirit" just for having a good attitude although I wasn't a standout basketball player.. 2 years later I got "best defensive player". I enjoyed both awards equally although 1 wasn't related to my skill level at all
I like lurkers. They are usually people that have been on the bump for years. They have really good adivce too.
Right after S13 started having babies a really really great (I forget the screen name) bumpie came to the board and had amazing breastfeeding advice.
The bump kind of becomes is commune more than a "club" for only s16. That's why I came back for this pregnancy.
You will lurk on other BMBs in the next couple months. That's how I learned what I was up against (pregnancy wise) I lurked on A13.
Yeah my complaint is specifically "hopefulls". There are some people who come to the new birth month club every month just to hang out before their BFP/Ns. Their posts are much more suited to anTTC board than to a birth month club. I didn't see any in S16 but sometimes they even start "what is your hopeful EDD" threads. I don't mind lurkers from other boards, I just don't like the trend of joining a birth club and participating before you know if you really belong there. .
I think its ridiculous when pregnant women blame everything on hormones. Be an adult and take responsibility for your actions! Pregnant women are perfectly capable of staying in control of what they say and do.
Similar but not the same, and fair warning to you all for later I HATE when pregnant ladies take every freakin thing so personally and get so angry at the world just because they are pregnant. Just wait, in 6 months there are going to be so many posts with people raging about how someone had the nerve for saying "You look great for being 7 months pregnant" or "you must be feeling the heat this summer". They are just harmless comments, no one is trying to insult you. Cool your jets!!!
@0SeaMonkey0 I am sure I won't be liking the heat this summer myself, I already suffer so much in summer. But it is all worth it, all worth it.
I think people can say anything I won't mind. The only I won't like is random people touching my belly, friends and family I don't care but strangers? Apparently it happens and I would rather not.
35 years old, TTC #1 Dec 28, 2011 PCOS, Hypothyroidism.
First IVF cycle June 5th 2015 --- BFP Miscarriage at 8 weeks
FET December 15th 2015--- BFP! First saw at 6w4d It's a boy!
Luciano Alessandro Maximiliano was born on September 3rd 2016
@Kristalyn85 Agreed! And my daughter apparently also agrees. We were in the Disney store and the associates kept coming up to her and saying "Hi Princess!". After the third or fourth time, she gets this look on her face, turns to me and says "Why is everyone calling me Princess? I am not a princess!"
When you are a cast member at Disney they encourage you to do that. I remember doing that for so long... I couldn't shake the habit for a couple YEARS after I worked there. Haha.
I figured they were asked to do that...just like how they need to see the "magic numbers" on the back of my credit card. I just thought it was funny that my 3 year old actually payed attention to what they were saying and had an opinion about it.
I'm seriously not trying to start anything...pure curiosity, but how do they greet boys? Or nothing special? Again, this just got me curious. Not trying to start something.
A lot of the time I used Prince Charming or pirate (especially if they were dressed up), but it's been so long that I can't remember what they suggested for boys. Hahaha. I liked pirate better, and the boys dressed as pirates were so cute about it. Prince Charming worked, though, too and usually the boys were flattered. Ironically it was girls like your daughter who would always say things like "I'm not a princess!" Which always made me giggle. Girls just seemed to focus more on the princesses than the boys did, which I think is why that happened. Not really sure. Then again, I was Ariel when I worked there and I think the boys were just more awestruck at seeing a 'real' mermaid.
@Alyeena Hello from September 15! I agree completely with you in regards to some lurkers jumping in on controversial issues and causing uproars. We had several random people make things difficult for our group while we were going through some difficult times. I feel all lurkers should announce themselves like I did. Its weird when someone you don't know starts posting when your in like your second trimester. Good luck ladies- I have to say I love my september baby he is such a relaxed little guy.
DH and I have already shared with everyone that we are expecting. I know tradition or whatever says to wait until 12 weeks in case anything happens but the way I see it is that I am so incredibly happy and we have been trying for a while so why not tell people. This way, if anything happens and I lose the baby, I will have people supporting us as we go through hard times. Granted, this is only our first pregnancy so if anything does happen, maybe we will change our tune. For right now, we just want to enjoy the moment and focus on the positive.
DH and I have already shared with everyone that we are expecting. I know tradition or whatever says to wait until 12 weeks in case anything happens but the way I see it is that I am so incredibly happy and we have been trying for a while so why not tell people. This way, if anything happens and I lose the baby, I will have people supporting us as we go through hard times. Granted, this is only our first pregnancy so if anything does happen, maybe we will change our tune. For right now, we just want to enjoy the moment and focus on the positive.
We told people (not everyone, but some) right away with DD. We had been trying for a year and half and a select few knew. Like you, I went ahead with telling because I knew if I lost the baby, I'd want support. I say do whatever makes sense for you.
I agree with you on this. I told a lot of people before 12 weeks last time but even after I passed the "danger zone" I had a miscarriage at 16 weeks. My point is, you never know what will happen and there are never any guarantees so do what feels right for you. I personally needed the support of my loved ones during that difficult time. I will say you might consider not telling everyone the name you have early on though. Several reasons for this: 1. When I lost my baby boy I had already started referring to him as Beau. Now that I lost him, I feel a little mixed about the name situation. Beau is still my favorite boy name but it feels weird to use it again. 2. When you tell people names you are considering you open yourself up to unsolicited opinions of said names!
Re: Unpopular Opinions
Definitely would have been anti mini van 10 years ago. Even when we started shopping for the car. But it has so much space!
I am willing to recant the last sentence of my original post. Reading it back again, I definitely misspoke. I completely agree that sometimes they are too strong and you do things you don't want to do. It's the people who do things and are just like "Oops. Hormones. Hehehehe." that I'm talking about. If the hormone control you, don't blame it solely on that. It's ok, in my mind, to say "I'm sorry, that was the hormones speaking, I shouldn't have said/done that"
I don't think lurking is wrong, but I see where the irritation comes from on threads like UO last time where OP didn't even come back but the thread got closed and some of the posts were from lurkers. Like I said, lurking isn't bad but it can get frustrating, and take away from the experience, especially when they don't have advice or only add negative things.
Glass half full and all that jazz.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
I am terrified of post partum again. Sometimes I wish I could skip the first months after having the babe. But then you miss the cute, cuddly, nursing time. Now my independent toddler won't let me even touch his feet to put his "choo" on. I just don't have clear/good memories of the first 6mos (maybe because I was scared and didn't know what the f*ck I was doing) but sure hope it's better this time around.
I'm seriously not trying to start anything...pure curiosity, but how do they greet boys? Or nothing special? Again, this just got me curious. Not trying to start something.
My UO is that I can't stand when pregnant women treat pregnancy as some secret society or some exclusive club. Maybe I'm extra sensitive because of my IF. The whole attitude of you wouldn't understand because you've never been pregnant or never had a child is heartbreaking for someone struggling. Speaking from experience, it's a fast way to lose a friend.
Clomid 150mg 2 follicles, BFP 7/4/15, EDD 3/12/16, CP 7/7/15
Clomid 150mg, 2 follicles, IUI BFN
Natural Cycle, BFP 12/28/15, EDD 9/3/16
Ya know what sux? The people who aren't understanding how hard it can be for us (ahem..... My DH......ahem).
DD2 4.2013 - vbac
DS1 9.2016 - vbac, team green
Baby #4 due 9.2018
I think people can say anything I won't mind. The only I won't like is random people touching my belly, friends and family I don't care but strangers? Apparently it happens and I would rather not.
PCOS, Hypothyroidism.
Miscarriage at 8 weeks
First saw
It's a boy!
I even get called princess. (We go a lot) it's whatever, part of the magic.
1. When I lost my baby boy I had already started referring to him as Beau. Now that I lost him, I feel a little mixed about the name situation. Beau is still my favorite boy name but it feels weird to use it again.
2. When you tell people names you are considering you open yourself up to unsolicited opinions of said names!