Anyone dealing with awkward childcare situations? — The Bump
August 2015 Moms

Anyone dealing with awkward childcare situations?

I'm heading back to work part time from home Jan 4th, and my (young) grandma had offered to watch our daughter the one day a week I'm going into the office. She offered while I was still pregnant, and we made sure she was still okay with it about a month ago, giving her an out in case she offered without really thinking about it. She said she was so excited, and we planned to drop LO off with her Monday mornings. Then, things unravelled bit by bit: 

1. She told me she can't watch her every second Monday of the month because she has an obligation. I said no problem, we will work something out. 
2. She isn't comfortable watching her early in the morning because she doesn't get up that early, so we would need to drop her off at 10 (not ideal)
3. She didn't have a place for her to sleep, and asked if she could sleep on her bed. I said no, since LO sleeps on her tummy and needs to just be in a crib. I bought her a pack and play for her house. She said she can't reach down and pick her up out of it. She would need help, and said she would have her boyfriend over to help her. My husband and I don't trust her boyfriend with our daughter. We both get a gut feeling, as have other family members. I literally have an eagle on on him every time he holds her (which he wants to do a lot!). We also had a very close friend arrested this year for sexual misconduct with minors, which has rattled me to the core and caused me to really evaluate who gets to be around our daughter alone. She also said she might get help from her (female) friend, who we know and trust.
4. When I was pregnant, I didn't realize how much STUFF a baby needs! Imagining bringing over her sound machine, monitor, toys, books, clothing, stroller, etc. every time she is with my grandma sounds exhausting and not helpful. 
5. We don't actually NEED her to babysit, since my dad has now offered to help once a week. But, it would still be helpful if the above things weren't an issue.

My husband and I talked about it, and we ended up telling my grandma that we feel it would be easier for us, my grandma, and our daughter if she watched her at our house (which is a 10 minute drive for her). Then, we told her that we didn't want ANY men other than my husband or my dad at the house while she watches our daughter. She can have women friends help and visit if we know them, but no men. Obviously, we also said that while we would love for her to watch our daughter, she is under no obligation to.

Any other awkward childcare situations? 

Re: Anyone dealing with awkward childcare situations?

  • Eek! Sounds like it isn't meant to be. I would def not let her watch your LO.
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  • That's tough, but I wouldn't trust that her boyfriend will stay away. Trust your gut! Sounds like your dad is a better option. I work from home with LO there so far, but will also need to go back one day a week eventually. Hoping to avoid awkward situations with childcare, but I think it's ok to be picky! You want to feel like your baby is safe while your gone!
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  • Finding the right childcare is difficult and I'm sure dealing with family members adds another layer of awkwardness and stress. When we were pregnant with my first, my MIL and SIL each offered to watch the baby one day a week. It never ended up happening and it's probably for the best.

    We ended up hiring a nanny for the first 13-14 months and it was a nightmare. Her personal life was FILLED with drama and she always had some weird medical ailment or her school- age kids were home sick. One day when one of the kids was home sick I finally told her "if he's to sick for school, he's to sick to be around my baby. She eventually confessed she knew he was faking it and she let him stay home anyway (which as a teacher, drove me NUTS). Then another time she said her pain medicine was making her drowsy and she couldn't drive to our house, but we bring him to her. Again, too drowsy to drive, you're not watching my kid! I forget how old he was (maybe 6 months) but she also gave him a bottle of water! I came home from work she was excited to tell me how much he likes drinking water. I just about lost it! No one told her she could do that and she didn't ask permission ahead of time. Ugh! I could go on forever! As soon as we could find a daycare we liked, we switched.
  • Hello from sept 15 im technically an august mom aug 31st! My mother offered to watch our lo on fridays. Now I work 1 1/2 hrs from my home my mother is 45 mins south then I'd have a 1 plus drive to work from there. So if I dropped baby off it would be over 2 hr ordeal. I also have had issues with her she really only thinks of herself what she wants what's best for her and who cares about other people. We've had blow outs I've unfriended her on fb twice etc
    Now i told my husband I didn't want to have her watch him for x y z reasons. I thought we were on the same page. We went out to dinner with them right before my shower and he didn't back me up said her watching him was a great idea. I said well I'm not dropping him off you two figure it out. Flash forward to now. She's not keeping the house warm enough. Constantly takes off his warm stuff as soon as he gets there. My parents all have sweaters shoes blankets on and he's there in his onsies. I do pickups so I've gotten there where he's so upset and crying that I spend over 30 mins calming him down because she decided he couldn't be hungry so didn't even try to feed him but that was the only reason he was crying. So now my commute is longer fixing my child who I'm trusting you to care for. My husband does nothing but complain and worry when he's with her and I'm sitting here like I f ing told you so. He's always trying to figure out how to politely take the responsibility from her I'm like that's all you I'm not going to be the one to say that as much as I agree w him because I never wanted her to watch him ever!
  • Thanks, ladies! We ended up telling her what I said above, and she was super confused and upset by it. I had to tell her that we don't actually trust her boyfriend, and don't know if we ever will. She said she would come to our house, but then ended up letting me know the stairs to too nerve wracking for her (I was grateful she told me). We are just going to figure it out without her, and she is going to come over sometimes to play with LO while I'm home :) Now, to actually figure out childcare...
  • If your considering using a daycare you can look up their licensure with the state online. They have yearly inspections which are surprise visits. When I was trying to find a daycare that was one of the first things I would look at. I found a large popular daycare in my area with a violation because apparently they forgot to feed one of the babies! So it's really important to look up this valuable information that is for your review online.

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